06. The Real Crazy Bastard Here Is Me (1)

85%? I couldn't even laugh at that absurd number.

"They'll all be arriving soon. To be honest, we've already reviewed your audition footage once."

What, the crazy bastard of this district? Are you kidding me?

"Today will be simple—we'll check your skills and ask questions to get to know you better."

First they send me through military service twice, make me an idol trainee, and now they want me to defuse bombs?

"Ha-jin?"

I guess they've never seen a real lunatic before. If there's anyone crazier than me—someone who woke up back in high school after taking the college entrance exam and being sent to the military—then come at me. Let's switch lives.

"Ha-jin? Hello?"

"Ah, sorry. I think I'm just nervous. I couldn't sleep at all last night..."

"Oh no, you didn't sleep? You didn't have to go that far."

Damn. The sudden regression notice had me so stunned I forgot reality for a moment. I quickly plastered on my best capitalist smile and focused on the conversation.

Fortunately, Manager Jang and Miro's Director Kim seemed to interpret it as "a teenager's nerves right before achieving their dream," nodding understandingly.

"By the way, Ha-jin, did you style your hair? You look a bit different from your audition."

"Right. You give off a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠stronger vibe than in your audition video."

At least blowing my allowance on expensive hair and new clothes paid off. The two kept showering me with compliments about my styling.

I couldn't exactly say, "Yeah, I spent some cash on this—how do I look?" so I played it modest instead.

"Thank you. I just wanted to look my best."

"The more I see you, the more perfect you seem. You absolutely have to join our company."

Director Kim's proud laughter almost made me blurt out "Obviously!" But of course it was obvious—I'd styled myself specifically to target Miro.

Let me pull up my Miro chart from my Excel spreadsheet:

<[Miro Entertainment]

Artists: Uphia, Project W (disbanded), Endway

Characteristics: Known for skilled male idols, heavily invests in concepts and music. With Endway established, they're preparing a new group for company expansion.>

...I picked up this info from stock forums. In my past lives, they debuted a junior group around this time too. But the crucial detail is this:

Miro idols have a legendary reputation passed down ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠through generations—dubbed "The My Way of K-pop."

[Laneon vs. Endway chemistry is killing me lol]

(GIF of Laneon in school uniforms)

(GIF of Endway in school uniforms)

Laneon: The popular kids at school

Endway: The kids who barely show up

LOLOLOL truly upholding Uphia's legacy as the original "My Way Idols"

It seems their first group Uphia's strong, rebellious image became so iconic that the company leaned into it as their signature. All their concepts are intense, and they prioritize musical ambition over typical idol visuals—they want performers who can dominate stages.

'I was worried the piercings might make me look disrespectful, but they seem fine with it.'

At Rene Entertainment—a company with the resources and expertise to polish raw gems—over-the-top styling would just make me another dime-a-dozen trainee wannabe #1524.

I deliberately went for clean, simple styling to make them think, "I wonder how he'd look styled up?" But...

'If I'd shown up at Miro looking like that, I'd have been rejected before the audition even started.'

Miro's different. Thankfully, my sharp eyes from years of hardship kept me from looking like an easy target. The moment my Miro audition date was set, I reopened my closed piercings and layered my overgrown hair.

As a kid, I'd just follow trends—two-block cuts, wolf cuts, whatever was in. But I've had a decade more experience styling this face. Between past and present lives, I know exactly which hairstyles and timeless streetwear work best for me.

"Ah, they said everyone's arriving soon. Ha-jin, get ready."

"Okay."

"Don't be nervous!"

Manager Jang's encouragement sounded more nervous than I felt as I entered the recording booth. This audition method was new to me—apparently Miro sometimes has candidates record ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠parts of existing artists' songs.

'They want to see how well I take direction?'

Absurd. This isn't even a debut team test—what kind of direction do they expect from some clueless trainee hopeful? I put on the headphones, thinking:

'This is just a stress interview.'

Manager Jang said Miro was quite interested in me, but starting off like this?

[Single Quest 02.]

'The Real Crazy Bastard Here Is Me!'

Objective: You've entered (or will enter) Miro.

Survive the cutthroat politics and power struggles within.

Find allies to help you debut successfully.

(Removing hidden bombs lowers regression risk and increases quest success rate.)

Looks like the first bomb to defuse is right here.

Three judges sat before me.

"Well, do your best."

The department head clearly disliked me already.

"......"

A team leader studying me with an inscrutable expression.

And—

"Wow, so fresh-faced. Hyung, was I like that as a trainee?"

Uphia's leader Seo Tae-il—Miro's founding father, celebrating his 12th debut anniversary this year.

The man who made Miro the "badass motherf*ckers" of K-pop.

Who led Uphia through the dreaded 7-year curse and military hiatus to sign their third contract.

When the renewal news dropped, he coolly said on a fan livestream:

"Well...guess they finally realized. This place goes to shit without me."

If any other male idol leader said that? They'd get crucified for throwing shade at their members. But this was Uphia's Seo Tae-il—the man who clawed Uphia to the top through all controversies, dragging his wild members up with him.

@u_top_world

(Video)

A 13-year veteran idol leader's brutal self-awareness...

Yeah that tracks for Tae-il...

8.7K Shares 2.2K Quotes 9.6K Likes

@txllam

This is peak Uphia dynamics

Uphia who won't let Tae-il leave

Tae-il who won't let Uphia disband

That's our boys

6.8K Shares 3.9K Quotes 8.5K Likes

[Uphia] Other male idols, look at Seo Tae-il and don't even try

If anyone else said that it'd be career-ending cringe

But Tae-il...Tae-il gets a pass

'If he's the bomb, we're in trouble.'

I cracked my neck looking at this lineup of difficult personalities. The lyrics sheet before me held a familiar song.

'Uphia's debut track.'

What kind of sadist makes someone audition with the original artist right there? Worse, Tae-il seemed to be evaluating how I took direction. Any normal trainee would be crushed by the pressure.

But I was no normal trainee.

"Let's check your tone first. Sing through the first verse and chorus lightly."

Tae-il's smooth voice came through as we finished soundcheck. Adjusting my headphones, I nodded—just as the system alert chimed.

[System Alert: Skill <As You Say> (Lv.1) activated!]

You think I'd come bomb-defusing without safety gear?

The night before.

"I'm not doing it."

Seeing that 85% regression chance, I went ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠on strike.

[System Alert: Pardon?]

"Pardon? No, you heard me right. I'm not doing it."

Crossing my legs and arms made the system window glitch violently.

I doubled down on playing dumb in the most rebellious posture I could manage.

"I agreed to become an idol trainee in two months, okay? Figured with young-rich-tall-handsome, how hard could it be?"

"But what's this? Bomb disposal? Forming a debut team? You think this is some modern fantasy novel? I'm still salty I couldn't even memorize lottery numbers for my real life, and now—hey! How's a 19-year-old supposed to take over an entertainment company?"

Thinking about it made me so mad I stomped the innocent sandbox. Sand got in my slippers, so I shook out my crossed leg. With no privacy in our basement apartment, I'd wound up at the playground again.

"Ugh, pissed all over again. Mentor my ass. Haven't even seen my mentee's face and I'm already choking."

"I'm not doing it. Regression? Fine, regress me. Might as well live forever."

[System Alert: Input error]

[System Alert: Input error]

[System Alert: Error caused by (Fixed) Regressor's unplanned actions!]

"What error?"

[System Alert: I'm flustered!]

"You're ridiculous."

I'd started personifying the system, but what else could I do? Its reaction told me it was time to make my move, so I stretched my legs magnanimously.

"Give me skills. Or items."

[System Alert: (Fixed) Regressors don't receive additional skills—]

"Then I'm not doing it."

[System Alert: I'm already going out of my way to help you...]

"Not doing it."

[System Alert: ......]

"I said no. Quests, whatever. Let the damn regressor go crazy looping forever."

The crazy bastard of this district?

System, you're about to find out who the real lunatic is here.