Chapter 59: To You (1)
59. To You (1)
'I was too fixated on avoiding the original song.'
Hajin pressed his throbbing temples with his fingers. In his focus on creating a new song using only the original's musical elements, he had inadvertently diluted the meaning and distinctive qualities of the source material.
'Then what should I do? No, how am I supposed to rework this from scratch in just a few hours?'
The anxious gazes of his teammates, all fixed solely on him, made the gravity of the situation sink in. Hajin could feel everything going to hell.
This arrangement and concept had been his brainchild from start to finish. If the performance flopped, the blame would rest entirely on his shoulders. Even if no one said it aloud, they were probably resenting him by now.
'I can already see the backlash unfolding before my eyes...'
—Ugh, Hajin-ah...
—Kang Hajin's been shaky since the first mission
—His stubbornness is the problem, remember how he went off on his own during Team B too?
—Lol what did the others even do wrong? They're getting dragged down by his karma
└They all agreed to go along with it though?
└Hajin stans here? He's the one who pushed for jazz, lol how could they oppose him?
└Not pushed—shoved
└Do the other four have no agency? If they had issues, they should've spoken up
And to make matters worse, Seo Tae-hyun was in this team. The same Seo Tae-hyun whose core fans had trended #MyCherry_Seo_Tae-hyun_Debuts—fans who desperately wanted to see their idol have a smooth, happy debut.
'If I ruin this stage, his fandom will have my throat before anyone else.'
Given Tae-hyun's reputation for stellar performances, any failure would inevitably be pinned on Hajin. But right now, he had no brilliant solution to salvage this mess.
This was the karmic payback for his past complacency—for breezing through challenges without proper mid-term checks, assuming everything would work out!
'I was too busy worrying about Han Seong-woo and let my guard down.'
But for Hajin's plans to succeed, this stage had to be a hit. He couldn't let his mistake drag the others down with him.
Hajin lifted his head to face his teammates, who were watching him with a mix of complex emotions.
Before anything else, there was something he needed to say to them.
"...First, I'm sorry."
"Huh? Oh, no, hyung, why are you—?"
"You trusted me with this, and look how it turned out. You're all exhausted, and now we have to redo practice. It's my fault. I messed up."
"......!"
Dan Ha-ru, who had been quietly observing the mood beside Hajin, looked slightly startled by the apology. Based on the Hajin he'd seen so far, he'd expected him to jump straight into feedback and countermeasures for the botched mid-term check.
'I didn't think he'd apologize.'
Somehow, Ha-ru found himself thinking more deeply.
'I didn't say a single word this whole time.'
From the initial meeting until now, Ha-ru hadn't voiced a single opinion about the stage. He hadn't pondered the concept deeply or suggested any changes to the arrangement. He'd just gone along with whatever Hajin decided.
'Doesn't that mean I share the blame too?'
Once that thought took root, Ha-ru felt it was unfair for Hajin to shoulder all the apologies alone.
"...I'm sorry too."
"Huh? Wha—Ha-ru, why are you—?"
"I didn't say anything while Hajin-hyung was working hard to share ideas. As a teammate, I should've been more proactive with suggestions."
"What? Dan Ha-ru, what are you apologizing for?"
"Then what are you apologizing for, hyung?"
Hajin blinked, flustered by Ha-ru's retort. Of course he had to apologize—it was his responsibility, his mistake. He'd been ready to accept any resentment from the others, but getting an apology thrown back at him left him speechless.
'Isn't the usual order of things to curse me out first?'
This was something he'd learned from countless group project disasters.
Even back at his old agency, whenever a performance he'd pushed for fell flat, the trainees would immediately turn on him.
—I had ideas too. You think you're so special?
—Look where your big talk got us. What now?
—I never liked this from the start. You just bulldozed over everyone.
—If you're so great, why don't you handle it alone next time?
And he couldn't argue back.
—We decided we're not practicing with you anymore.
He knew exactly how pathetic it felt to be the 'unwanted one'—the person nobody needed.
"What the hell. Ha-ru, if you say stuff like that, I just feel even worse. ...Hyung, I'm sorry too. Honestly, I was kinda resentful earlier, but thinking about it, I had no right to be."
"Same. During the last mission, I just followed whatever you said without question. I'm sorry."
"Hey, stop. That's enough. I didn't say all that to hear this, seriously."
Even Jae-young and Jayden bowed their heads, leaving Hajin genuinely bewildered.
What the hell was wrong with these guys? They were impossible to understand.
"Hyung."
"Tae-hyun, don't you start."
"I'm the one who should be sorriest."
When Tae-hyun grabbed his hand with a melancholic voice, Hajin squeezed his eyes shut.
'This isn't the atmosphere I was going for, damn it!'
But his heart didn't feel as heavy as before.
[System Alert: 'Comrade's Faith' stabilizes the Fixed Regressor's condition.]
[System Alert: Fixed Regressor's trauma (Isolation) does not trigger.]
[System Alert: 'Wandering and Adrift' mode reduced by 7%... (Loading)]
A notification similar to the one he'd seen at Eun-chan's place popped up again. It felt like a layer of fog had lifted from his mind—his thoughts grew clearer, his emotions steadier.
'What is this?'
Only then did Hajin realize how tense he'd been. His entire body prickled with pent-up tension. He flexed his fist, habitually clenched tight, and let out a hollow laugh.
'...Was I actually scared?'
After reliving his life five times, there were still things that could shake him. With his mind now clear, Hajin clapped his hands to regain everyone's attention.
"Alright. Let's just agree we all screwed up together this time."
"Sounds good~."
"Yeah!"
"And the way to repent is by contributing stage ideas. They don't have to be fully fleshed out—just throw anything out there, and let's discuss it as a team this time."
Ha-ru smiled warmly at the return of Hajin's usual self. This version of him—confident and decisive—suited him far better than the apologetic, gloomy one from earlier. Feeling inexplicably cheerful, Ha-ru raised his hand.
"I'd like to try something like a cappella. Harmonies would sound really pretty."
"Okay, noted. Keep 'em coming."
"Uh, then I think..."
One by one, the trainees began sharing the ideas they'd been mulling over. Even the two Feather-tier members, who had been demoralized after consecutive low rankings, visibly perked up as they joined in.
"We should definitely include choreography. This is an idol survival show, after all."
"Right, let's consider that too."
Unlike usual, Hajin didn't immediately shoot down or argue against their suggestions. He jotted everything down, sifting through the ideas to find the best one.
Then, Tae-hyun, who had been silently observing, quietly raised his hand.
"Hyung, I..."
"Yeah, Tae-hyun, go ahead."
"I... want to do it like the original."
"Huh?"
The lead of Hajin's mechanical pencil snapped. Everyone turned to Tae-hyun in surprise. With unwavering determination, Tae-hyun stated his case.
"I want to sing a ballad."
"...Hyung, are you dead?"
"Just kill me already."
Eun-chan, fresh from the shower, clutched his chest in shock at the sight of Hajin sprawled across the bed. Hajin lay horizontally, his head hanging upside down off the edge, limbs splayed like a starfish. His blood-rushed face and inverted features looked like something out of a nightmare.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"This helps blood circulation to the brain."
"If circulation's the issue, just exercise..."
After living together for days, Eun-chan had learned that Hajin's bizarre poses were his way of coping with stress. Sighing, Eun-chan tossed a damp towel over Hajin's upside-down face before heading to his own bed.
"Ugh! Damn it, it's wet!"
At Eun-chan's quiet protest, Hajin finally sat up properly. But even upright, the crease between his brows refused to smooth out. His expression practically screamed Something's wrong! as Eun-chan applied skincare with a sigh.
"What is it? Did the mid-term check go badly?"
"You'll listen?"
"You'd have kept sulking until I asked anyway. What's up? I heard the check didn't go well."
Reluctantly, Eun-chan sat on the opposite bed as Hajin unloaded the source of his turmoil.
"Tae-hyun wants to do a ballad. He wants to perform 'To You' in its original style."
"Ah..."
"But you know it too, right? Ballads aren't his thing."
Eun-chan nodded in reluctant agreement.
Tae-hyun wasn't a bad singer, but he wasn't like Si-woo or Hajin—he couldn't carry a performance on vocals alone.
His strengths lay in his natural stage presence, dazzling dance skills, and rock-solid live vocals.
'Even if I'm not the best judge, there's a limit to how far you can push a gamble.'
Cute, charming performances—that was Tae-hyun's forte. Hajin couldn't understand why someone with such a distinct talent would insist on singing a ballad.
"What did you say to him?"
"I told him no way. No matter how confident he is, there's no justifying performing 'To You' as-is."
"Then what's the problem?"
Hajin smirked at Eun-chan's puzzled question.
'I wouldn't have cared if not for that damn red alert!'
[System Alert: Comrade 'Seo Tae-hyun's' current status... 'Severely Depressed'.]
That red warning hadn't left his sight since the meeting. Eyes open or closed—all he saw was red.
'And this time, it's severely depressed.'
Since when did Mr. Sunshine Cherry Boy stake his life on ballads?!
Hajin had once confidently declared that Tae-hyun could debut even if he performed heavy metal, but this was different. Unless they all miraculously leveled up their vocals overnight, this was a lost cause!
'Wait. I can do it, can't I?'
Hajin glanced at the system, recalling the skill <What's Like Me?> that had come in handy before.
But it wasn't an easy skill—it drained a lot of cash and came with heavy penalties. He wasn't about to invest that much just to fulfill Tae-hyun's wish!
With a sigh, Hajin flopped back onto the bed.
"But is it really that surprising?"
"Huh?"
"Tae-hyun-hyung always said it, didn't he? That he wanted to shed the 'Cherry Boy' image."
Eun-chan's voice was calm, as if Tae-hyun's choice was the most natural thing in the world.
"When he gave up 'Paran' or 'Mood Night' to pick 'To You,' he must've had his reasons. He blew up as a Cherry Boy, but in the end, 'Cherry Boy Seo Tae-hyun' never debuted."
"......."
"I don't know for sure, but... maybe he wants to show how much he's grown since then."
Hajin fell silent at Eun-chan's words. Now that he thought about it, a certain memory had been nagging at him.
—Tae-hyun.
—Yes?
—Remember what we talked about when you first came to Miro?
—...Yes.
—You didn't come here to keep doing... this, did you?
"Ugh, this is so annoying."
"What is?"
"Aaargh! So annoying!"
"Where are you going?!"
Damn this impossible bastard!