Chapter 51: I Want to Go Back (1)
51. I Want to Go Back (1)
"Bull...shit."
I barely managed to stop myself from blurting it out, reflexively covering my mouth. Get a grip, Kang Hajin. You're wearing a mic.
'But this makes no sense.'
Losing as a team would be one thing, but losing by individual scores? That was hard to swallow. I could sense the other trainees around me whispering in shock, unable to hide their surprise. But that wasn't the only strange thing.
'Han Seong-woo scored higher than Yu-geon and Kim Won-ho?'
Han Seong-woo? That guy who just kept smiling like a kid among all those talented trainees? Unless the mentors collectively lost their minds, this shouldn't be possible.
Flash—
And in that moment, with that damn system message, I found myself back in the men's bathroom again. The sudden shift made me nauseous, and I barely made it to the nearest toilet before retching.
As if mocking me, the system window appeared with a crackling sound, still glowing red.
[You said you could stop him?]
"Him" must refer to that damn regressor at the center of this fantasy nightmare.
[Then you'll need to try harder.]
[A failure like you needs to put in more effort if you want a chance at reversal.]
"What the hell, man?"
[No?]
The world flipped upside down again. My vision spun like I was on a 360-degree rollercoaster. Blood rushed to my head as another wave of nausea hit.
"Stop messing with me—!"
[Should I put you back then?]
And just like that, I was back.
"...Where is this?"
A phone in my hand.
My body buried under blankets.
A dark room.
[Want to go back again?]
No one looking for me.
Unable to do anything.
This was Kang Hajin at twenty-nine.
[See? You don't really want to go back.]
Red text floated in the air. The "thing" that had long shed its system-like appearance slowly carved out words, mocking Hajin as he stared at himself in disbelief.
[Hajin. You already know.]
[It's all pointless.]
[You'll just fail again. That's your fixed future.]
Fixed future. Hajin's expression visibly stiffened at those words.
[I'm trying to help you, Hajin.]
[I want you to be happy.]
"Thanks for the grand wish, Red."
[I'll give you another choice.]
Another inversion of vision. A void beyond darkness unfolded before him, dotted with countless shimmering stars.
No—those weren't stars. They were memories.
Every moment Hajin had ever lived.
[I'll let you do it too. Regression.]
"What?"
[I'm pretty close with 'him.' I can borrow a bit of his timeline.]
"So you're saying I can regress infinitely like him?"
[Want a hint?]
"No, forget it. Nothing you offer sits right with me."
[Do you know why 'he' keeps regressing?]
Huh. That actually piqued his interest. Hajin muttered to himself.
[Because he's unhappy.]
[His life has always been miserable.]
The scattered memory-stars rearranged instantly, enveloping Hajin. Happy moments, memories he'd vowed to cherish if he ever got to relive them—all played back at once.
[You never really wanted to be an idol, did you?]
[Even if you go back, you'll never debut.]
[And even if you do, you'll never succeed.]
[So just go back!]
[To the moment you want.]
[Live a life of endless happiness.]
The memory-stars twinkled. They shone beautifully, as if calling out to Hajin. He simply stared at them.
Countless moments were gathered there. Footsteps of a life he'd forgotten for so long.
"...And what do you get out of this?"
[I told you. I want you to be happy.]
"......"
[Why hesitate? This is your only chance.]
"What do I have to do?"
[It's simple. Just say yes. I'll handle the rest.]
[You've always been like this. No need to think—just YES!]
[Do it this time too!]
Hajin stared at the red letters. Though they were just shapeless text, he felt them pulling at him. After what felt like an eternity, he finally answered.
"You... want me to regress, don't you?"
[Exactly!]
"No, it's different. You need me to regress."
The world froze.
"You need me to give up on that idol trainee life, no matter what."
Hajin took a step forward. The memory-stars surrounding him vanished like bubbles, and darkness swallowed the space again.
He spoke.
"You."
[......]
"You're scared, aren't you? That I might actually stop him."
[......]
"That regression might end."
As if finally understanding everything, Hajin smiled.
So it was suspicious from the start.
What was suspicious? This bastard's attitude.
'Can't tell if he's friend or foe.'
Claims to help me, but everything he does says otherwise. Spouting words like defeat, failure, pathetic—classic gaslighting. I've seen enough of that at my old job to recognize it.
Whatever he is, he's not on my side.
"That's why you keep scaring me. So I'll run away."
"Why? Why now? It's been a month since I jumped into this mess to stop that bastard. Why show up now?"
I slowly approached the floating text. The chatty bastard had gone silent after I hit the mark.
I began retracing my steps since regression. Every quest had one penalty in common:
'Increased regression likelihood.'
Luckily, I'd been completing quests smoothly, and my fifth life had been running fine for over a month. So that meant...
"He hasn't regressed? Because of me."
The changes I made were clearly affecting that regressor bastard.
"Idiot, when someone hits the mark, you're supposed to deny it first."
"Staying quiet just makes me realize."
"You're scared, aren't you? Of me."
Then it happened. The frozen space tore like paper, cracks spreading everywhere.
[System recovery complete]
[WARNING]
[WARNING]
[System alert: 'Intruder' detected. Security protocols activated...]
[System alert: 'Fixed Regressor' timeline deviation confirmed. Resuming normal operations.]
"Hey, bastard! Missed you!"
Familiar system windows popped up one after another, filling the dark space. It had only been hours, but it felt like days—I was weirdly happy to see it.
[System alert: Correcting 'Fixed Regressor' timeline...]
The timeline twisted, and space crumbled. I lost balance and fell, but managed to curl up and protect my head. Whatever, as long as my skull stays intact.
Screech—
After what felt like forever, the shaking stopped, and a door appeared through the cracks. Glowing blue, practically screaming at me to enter. I checked the system's reaction—no major penalties—then grabbed the handle without hesitation.
[You'll fail even if you go back. That's your future.]
[Don't you want to live in happy memories?]
A last-ditch effort. Red typed out the words again. Living forever in happy memories. Eternal youth, eternal happiness. Who could easily refuse that?
But I'd already made up my mind. No time to hesitate.
"My mom told me to aim for first place if I was gonna do something."
"But thinking about it, she'd be fine even if I came in last."
"...So it's okay."
—Mom knows you're doing your best.
—And Mom would be okay even if you didn't do well.
That regressor bastard regresses because he's 'unhappy,' right?
Having regressed a few times myself, I know—what's meant to happen will happen.
So rather than reliving another failure, it's better for my sanity to live past that failure.
"So scram. I need to go see my mom."
I swiped away the annoying red text and stepped through the door without hesitation. My head spun, my stomach churned—my vision scrambled again.
Bang—! Bang bang!
When I came to, it felt like waking from a dream. Hot stage lights blazed, tense BGM filled the set. A scene I'd seen before.
"Those who seek the sun, soar high. The journey to become Icarus of the Maze!"
Once again, I stood at the center of the studio, mid-recording.
"Hajin, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"...No, just nervous."
How did my life turn into this modern fantasy? I didn't even have the energy to react to the déjà vu. Give me a damn break.
[System alert: ...Had to tidy up the timeline. Sorry.]
'Whatever, bastard. You saved me.'
I smirked at the system's nonsense. You little... I'll do better this time.
"Now, let's announce the results of Miro Maze's first mission, Daylight! for both teams!"
The future I already knew unfolded. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a regressor—seeing the same thing again is boring.
'But I can't just sleep through it.'
I turned my gaze to Han Seong-woo, standing diagonally across from me, waiting for the results. Hands clasped in prayer, visibly tense—he looked every bit the dependable leader hoping for his team's victory.
"With a score of 486 against 472 out of 500, Team B wins! Congratulations!"
"No way!"
"Oh my god, we won! We won!"
Amid the screaming trainees, I covered my mouth, feigning disbelief. The first time, I was genuinely shocked—but knowing the outcome, there was no surprise left. Time to milk this for screentime.
'We won, so every extra second on camera counts.'
Instead of joining the overexcited Team B members hugging each other, I quietly collected myself, pretending to relax as I leaned against the railing.
'No need to overdo it.'
"Hajin."
I turned at the voice. Gong Seok stood beside me, face half-flushed with excitement.
"Thanks for your hard work. We won because of you."
"...If anything, it's thanks to you, hyung."
This guy must've been through hell. For once, I forgot about the cameras and patted his shoulder. Sorry for calling you hopeless at first, hyung.
"But the battle isn't over yet. Before announcing your final rankings and Wings class, let's check the battlers' results first."
Seo Tae-il's lead-in—which I'd been forced to skip last time (if 'last time' even applies)—played out. Yu-geon and Kim Won-ho's results passed, and then it was my turn.
"Next, the results for 7th place trainee Han Seong-woo and 10th place trainee Kang Hajin!"
The scoreboard I already knew spun into view. I covered my face like I couldn't bear to look, peeking through my fingers to watch someone.
<Han Seong-woo (93.15) WIN! VS Kang Hajin (92.99)>
"Trainee Han Seong-woo wins the battle with 93.15 points, beating trainee Kang Hajin by 0.16 points. Congratulations."
And I saw it.
Before the score even finalized—Han Seong-woo, already smiling.