14. The Trainee Who Refuses to Debut (5)

"Why... am I already so exhausted..."

"Because you used up all your energy teasing Eun-chan hyung."

"......"

We didn't start our serious "bomb disposal" meeting until two hours after arriving home. Having only known each other through endless, grueling practice sessions, I hadn't realized how well I got along with these kids ten years my junior.

'Is this a good thing?'

From my first regression until now, there hadn't been many moments where I could laugh so freely. Though my mind knew this wasn't the time for it, my body instinctively chased after that bright, joyful energy.

"Alright, let's get down to business now."

"Yes."

"First, we need criteria."

"Criteria?"

"Yeah. Criteria. Who we're going to take down first and how far we're going to go."

At my deadpan remark, Joo Eun-chan and Dan Ha-ru, who had been picking at chicken, fell silent as if biting their tongues.

"What you want—is it the department head and the nepotism hire getting kicked out, or a fair debut without any nepotism hires?"

"......"

"It might not seem like much of a difference, but it is. The means and methods change depending on the goal, so think carefully before answering."

I watched as the two pondered my question. Of course, no matter their answer, I planned to oust the department head from the company. That was the quest, after all.

'But finding the nepotism hire is a different story.'

Which was why I needed to hear their opinions first. They were, after all, accomplices in my department head removal project.

"I..."

Finally, someone broke the silence. It was Joo Eun-chan, who had been fidgeting with his cola glass the whole time.

"I just... want people who deserve it to be treated fairly."

"If I'm not good enough to debut, or if I'm not what the company is looking for, then it's fine if I don't make it."

"But it's not right for ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠someone's dreams to be crushed for reasons that have nothing to do with that."

What an idealistic, hopeful statement. Yet the look on Joo Eun-chan's face was more sincere and serious than anyone else's.

"Tae-hyun hyung too... Tae-hyun hyung is like that. He works so hard."

"Seo Tae-hyun?"

"His nickname is 'Switch.' He's always the one turning the lights on and off in the special practice room. But he's always the one left out of the special benefits."

"......"

"Just because the department head hates him, he can't even get opportunities. That doesn't make any sense."

Hajin had once thought that way too. That there was a world where good triumphed over evil, justice prevailed, and karma came around. A world where values changed society and effort was rewarded.

But Kang Hajin, twenty-nine and knowing full well reality wasn't always like that, couldn't easily agree with Joo Eun-chan's dreamlike words. In fact, Hajin disliked idealists like this. People who only dreamed without seeing reality often frustrated and disappointed him.

But.

"I just want those who deserve to debut to debut. I want to be evaluated based on my skills alone."

But Kang Hajin at twenty vaguely understood that it was precisely such "ideals" that sometimes kept the world turning right.

"...Alright. I get what you mean."

"......"

"So you're saying your debut doesn't necessarily have to be guaranteed?"

"Yes. If the opportunity is fair, I'm confident."

Having confirmed their stance, I finished running calculations in my head and took another bite of chicken. Even cold, it was delicious—must be because it was from an expensive place. Dan Ha-ru stared at me blankly, as if wondering why I was eating chicken wings in the middle of an important conversation, but today's discussion was pretty much over anyway.

"...So, how are we going to do this?"

"Hmm, still thinking. I'll tell you when I'm sure. For now, give me more info today."

"Info?"

"Wars are fought with information. In this age of the Fourth Industrial Revolution, that's what matters most."

"I see you're innovating in joke-telling too."

What I meant was to spill the tea. I didn't expect these two, who were in an awkward position among the trainees, to know all the company gossip. There were specific rumors I wanted to hear anyway.

"Why did Cha Min-seok go to Rene?"

"Ah."

For example, the real story behind Cha Min-seok's transfer, which was publicly attributed to an injury.

"We're in this together now, right? Tell me everything. I need intel to plan."

"...You should ask Tae-hyun hyung for details. We only heard bits and pieces."

Seo Tae-hyun? The person of interest reappeared. Cha Min-seok and Seo Tae-hyun—a combination I'd never even heard of in my past life.

"Actually, Tae-hyun hyung came to Miro because of Min-seok hyung. Min-seok hyung called him here."

"They knew each other before?"

"They trained together at the same academy for a long time. Then Tae-hyun hyung went on 'Boyhood Under Heaven,' and Min-seok hyung joined Miro."

But how did one end up becoming Rene's next center while the other stayed at Miro, unable to debut?

"Min-seok hyung was originally in the debut lineup for 'Endway.' But he got a back injury and was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pushed to the next group... That's why he asked Tae-hyun hyung to debut together..."

"Then the nepotism hire came in, the debut team got reshuffled, and Cha Min-seok flew to Rene?"

"There's also talk that the department head was the one who connected Min-seok hyung to Rene, but anyway, only Tae-hyun hyung knows the details."

"Dan Ha-ru, if you're going to sleep, go brush your teeth first."

"Okay."

Dan Ha-ru, who had been nodding off like a sick chicken beside me, was handed a toothbrush and sent off. Wow, this drama is more interesting than I thought.

"After 'Boyhood Under Heaven' ended, Tae-hyun hyung did a lot of things. Events, performances..."

"I bet."

"But after Min-seok hyung left for Rene, he just practiced. He's in the special class but gets none of the benefits. Something must've happened with the department head, but he never talks about it."

Joo Eun-chan, rubbing his eyes as he relayed the information, was also slowing down, unable to fight his fatigue. Thinking of Seo Tae-hyun seemed to dampen his mood, his brows furrowing.

"Hey, don't cry. I don't have the energy to comfort you. Go wash up, you too."

"...When I first joined Miro, Tae-hyun hyung was the one who looked after me the most."

"Yeah, yeah, I get how much you care about him."

"But after the concert incident, things have been awkward between us. He says it's fine, but I feel so ashamed and frustrated."

"Yeah, I get it. Dan Ha-ru, if you're done brushing, go to bed. You, go wash your face with cold water."

"Kay."

After firmly pushing Dan Ha-ru, who had finished brushing, onto the blanket spread across the living room floor, I gave Joo Eun-chan a nudge with my foot as he tried to burrow under. He shot me a look that said, "You're really too much."

"What? What do you want me to do?"

"He said he's fine."

"But that's..."

"Don't apologize carelessly."

"......"

"If you keep saying sorry, all Seo Tae-hyun can say is, 'It's okay.'"

That was what I hated the most. Keeping those words to myself, I nudged Joo Eun-chan again and laid Dan Ha-ru down. After hearing me, Joo Eun-chan pressed his lips together, his face full of thoughts, and got up. Once he was gone too, the large living room—still spacious even with three guys sprawled out—finally sank into silence.

"...Hyung."

"What."

"...You really seem like an adult."

I thought Dan Ha-ru had already fallen asleep buried in the blanket, but he mumbled quietly, like sleep-talking.

"Are you dissing me for being old?"

"I want... to be like you, hyung."

"Like me how?"

"...Just, you seem so solid."

Every time that young voice, still not fully past puberty, called me "hyung," all the lives I'd lived across regressions flashed through my mind, and my conscience stung a little.

'Come to think of it, he's practically my nephew's age. Wait, no—I didn't just get younger, I went back ten years, so technically, we're peers...'

I barely managed to brake that train of thought. Remember, Kang Hajin. You're a boiling-blooded twenty-year-old. Not twenty-nine, not twenty-nine plus alpha. Just twenty, with youth still blazing.

"It's the first time I've said this... I'm glad I talked to you, hyung."

"Stop sleep-talking and go ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to bed."

"Kay..."

When Joo Eun-chan, now properly dressed in silk pajamas, returned, the living room lights went out. Watching these kids insist on sleeping together in the living room instead of their own beds, I closed my eyes too.

Thanks to the grueling practice, I fell asleep instantly, despite being in an unfamiliar place.

'These idiots...'

On a rainy afternoon, Department Head Son Hyung-gu swallowed his curses as he headed to the smoking area.

Today's planning meeting had included an anonymous feedback session for ideas about the next debut team. It was a method the CEO had suggested for more horizontal and free brainstorming—everyone submitted proposals in the same format, which were then circulated for honest opinions.

And today, Department Head Son's proposal had received 13 "disapprove" votes out of 15!

'What do they know about idol planning? A&R this, A&R that. None of them have ever run around making albums like I have.'

Lately, nothing was going Son Hyung-gu's way, and everything was starting to grate on him. By now, he should've already started his own company and been called "CEO." This treatment was unacceptable!

'I need to wrap this up before we fully start preparing for the next group, damn it.'

At the peak of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his irritation, the department head couldn't hold back and kicked the ground. On days like this, he needed to vent at someone.

"...Hello, Department Head Son."

For example, a powerless trainee he happened to run into in the empty smoking area.

"Do you smoke?"

"...No, I came to throw out trash."

"Tch, whatever. It's not like it matters now, right?"

Watching Seo Tae-hyun's stiff face and bitten lips, the department head felt a twisted satisfaction. He carelessly pushed back Tae-hyun's sweat-damp bangs with his fingers and smirked.

"As long as I'm at Miro, you'll never debut. Got it?"

"......"

"You shouldn't have crossed me. If you'd just listened, you wouldn't be suffering like this."

"...I'll go ahead."

"Cha Min-seok was smart enough to save himself. Unlike you, you idiot."

The moment Cha Min-seok's name came up, Tae-hyun tensed, and the department head felt a petty victory. There had been a time when he'd pulled out all the stops to recruit Tae-hyun. But after rotting at Miro for three years with no activities, Seo Tae-hyun was just a faded survival show star—nothing more, nothing less.

"Go on, then."

Deliberately giving Tae-hyun's shoulder a hard pat, the department head walked off toward his usual smoking spot, his steps lighter. Only Tae-hyun remained, bearing all that humiliation, biting his lip until it nearly bled.

In his head, the worst moments of his life replayed on loop.

—Hey, Cha Min-seok. What the hell?

—......

—I said, what the hell? You're really going to Rene?

—Later. We'll talk later.

—Hey!

Some memories only grew stronger when he closed his eyes. Tae-hyun forced his eyes open, refusing to let them surface.

Three years ago, his first survival show came to mind. The moment dazzling spotlights had shone solely on him, when countless fans had cheered for his performance. That might've been the last time he truly shone. Whenever that thought crossed his mind, Tae-hyun couldn't bear it.

"Ah, I need to go to the practice room."

I don't want to go.

I don't want to go.

...I want to run away.

Just as he was biting his lip with those thoughts—

"Hey."

"?"

Startled by the voice calling him, Tae-hyun looked up to see the new trainee he'd been introduced to by Eun-chan earlier, now drenched from the rain. Why was this guy here? Before he could wonder if the guy had overheard his conversation with the department head, Tae-hyun heard:

"Hey, do you have any money?"

"Huh?"

He was getting mugged?