Chapter 136: A Small Catalyst (8)
136. A Small Catalyst (8)
Hajin licked his lips several times and rubbed his thighs until they burned—a nervous habit of his.
Either his thighs would catch fire from the friction or Jung Si-woo's pitch-black eyes would burn him alive.
In the split second before one of those two scenarios came to pass, Hajin barely managed to throw out an idea.
"Uh! Hmm! So, like... what about a mashup?"
"...A mashup?"
"Yeah, I mean, the lyrics are depressing, but if you just look at the core message, it's kind of like posing a question, right? To this lost generation, to these youths struggling through life... like, where did we come from, where are we going...?"
For the record, the only lyric Kang Hajin had actually caught from the song was Where are we?
Despite not even knowing the lyrics properly, Hajin had already lost track of what he was saying and was just rambling whatever came to mind.
"So if it just ends with a question mark here, it'd be way too sad. And the song itself is a bit plain, so... what if we picked another song about youth—something uplifting, like 'Let's hang in there!' or 'Life's like this, they say!'—and mashed them together?"
But as he spoke...
...Wait, this actually makes sense?
Hajin marveled at his own idea in real time and kept going.
"Then it'd kinda turn into this... youth Q&A thing? Plus, we'd get to show off some song-mixing skills, and it'd make the track feel broader in scope... Whoa."
"...Why are you startling yourself mid-sentence?"
In the end, Hajin clamped a hand over his own mouth mid-speech.
Then, impressed, he muttered,
"Damn. I might be a genius."
"......."
The faint light that had briefly returned to Si-woo's eyes dimmed back into lifeless statue eyes.
Okay, maybe that was a bit much. My bad.
"Anyway, that's my idea. Finding the right song and blending them will take time, but... since we've cut down on choreography time, it might be worth the investment."
"...I-I like it! I think it's a great idea!"
Dan Ha-ru, desperate to inject some life into this meeting, quickly raised his hand in agreement.
Admittedly, Hajin's idea wasn't half bad, but...
Still, isn't he agreeing way too easily? No questions, no pushback?
Once suspicion took root, every action seemed suspicious.
Hajin stared intently at Ha-ru, who had raised his hand with sparkling eyes.
Ha-ru noticed the gaze and met his eyes.
So Hajin promptly pinched those soft-looking cheeks.
"Ow! Why'd you do that, hyung?!"
"Can't help it. Your cheeks look pinchable."
You little punk.
If Ha-ru really was the Returner, the day Hajin confirmed it, he'd pinch both cheeks until they turned red.
With that firm resolution, Hajin let go.
"......."
Si-woo's neat fingers spun a black pen as he collected his thoughts.
After a few more rotations, the pen suddenly stopped.
Tap—
Setting the pen down, Si-woo sighed and spoke.
"I think it could work. If Seok-i's message isn't compromised, I'd like to try this. What do you think?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm good with it. ...Thanks. I was worried you guys were making things harder just for my sake."
"......."
At Seok-i's reply, dripping with zero confidence, one of Si-woo's eyebrows twitched in discomfort. His lips parted as if to say something, but in the end, he pressed them shut without a word.
Masterfully masking his expression, Si-woo continued in a businesslike tone.
"Then we'll need to find a song to mash it with. We should decide today so we can work on the arrangement tomorrow. Let's all search for options now."
"Got it."
"Yes!"
"Try to stick to songs that fit these criteria."
Si-woo listed the key factors for the mashup song in their group chat.
We're finalizing the song today.
Si-woo's tone was firm, and Gong Seok nodded.
Hajin noticed the subtle tension between the two but, like Si-woo, kept his mouth shut and nodded along.
Mashing two completely different songs into one sounds simple in theory, but in practice, even selecting the tracks is a challenge.
This one's key doesn't match. This one's tempo is off. This one's lyrics don't connect.
After scrapping a dozen or so songs for these reasons, a thought inevitably creeps in:
...Screw the mashup. Let's just pick a high-note-heavy emotional banger and call it a day. That'd be easier.
The man currently paying the price for speaking before thinking—Kang Hajin.
He sat in the practice room past midnight, the staff having left after setting up the self-cams and stationary cameras, quietly clutching his head. Today, he felt unusually drained.
Did I overthink the Returner theory too much...?
It wasn't like a system penalty had kicked in, and the military stamina he'd absorbed shouldn't crumble under a schedule like this... so it had to be purely a mental exhaustion issue.
Hajin had a habit of procrastinating on thorny problems until a solution presented itself.
He'd either sleep, eat something good, or immerse himself in something else to temporarily erase the stressor from his mind.
Back in his PD days, whenever he hit an editing block, he'd pay for a monthly pass at a nearby comic book café and pull all-nighters.
[System Alert: Ah, so that's why...]
[System Alert: No wonder...]
Sipsam, having realized the origins of Hajin's obsessive tendencies, sent an exclamation mark emoji. This time, Hajin didn't even have the energy to Alt+F4 it away.
I wanna go home.
Lying on the practice room floor, Hajin turned his head to spy on his teammates.
Dan Ha-ru, unable to fight exhaustion, had curled up against the mirror and dozed off.
Gong Seok, as if chased by something, was desperately searching for songs, eyes glued to his laptop.
And Jung Si-woo, stealing glances at Seok but saying nothing, focused solely on his own work.
[System Alert: What's going on with those two...?]
...Isn't it obvious?
Hajin interlaced his fingers behind his head.
Gong Seok being intimidated by Jung Si-woo, and Si-woo being uncomfortable with that—their dynamic wasn't exactly shocking.
They've been like this since the second mission, right?
It just hadn't made the broadcast.
Even during Cinderella, when they were on the same team, their relationship had been rocky.
By Episode 4, Gong Seok admitted in an interview:
"Honestly, I'm hitting my limits. My confidence keeps dropping. The idea of competing terrifies me."
And everyone among the trainees knew Jung Si-woo was the reason.
Well, not everyone.
Hajin paused at two faces that flashed in his mind.
He corrected himself: Everyone except Lee Do-ha and Joo Eun-chan.
[System Alert: Shouldn't you... do something about it?]
[System Alert: You're teammates now!]
Me? Do what?
[System Alert: Like last time, an icebreaker to improve their relationship...!]
Sipsam urged him on as if shouting, Go, Kang Hajin!
But unlike when he'd scrambled to mediate between Si-woo and Yu-geon, Hajin just closed his eyes.
It's not my place to meddle.
[System Alert: Σ(・Д・)!?]
[System Alert: After all the meddling you've done to drive the plot, NOW you say that!?]
...Your vocabulary's getting weirder by the day. "Drive the plot"?
[System Alert: Isn't the essence of #IdolStories the conflict and resolution between members, leading to deep bonds, loyalty, growth, and reconciliation!? Do your duty as a Regressor!]
Sure, sure. Now you're slapping genres on people's lives like it's nothing, huh?
If this were a fantasy novel, Hajin would've grabbed his neck in disbelief at this insane meta-commentary. But Sipsam just spouted it casually.
I think I've ruined a perfectly good Time Administrator. Should've seen the signs when he was searching for reactions to my performance video.
[System Alert: So why! Why won't you fix our problem child!?]
[System Alert: Look how crushed he is...!]
Maybe Sipsam had taken a liking to Seok-i, because he whined like a spoiled child. But Hajin had no intention of moving.
He just took in the sight of Gong Seok's unusually small-looking back and sighed softly.
It's not as simple as you think.
The rift between Seok and Si-woo wasn't something an outsider could fix.
Seok's inferiority complex and competitive pressure were his own battles.
And Si-woo, by not treating Seok any differently—neither warmer nor colder—was already extending the utmost consideration.
[System Alert: Being cold is considerate now?]
[System Alert: (° ヘ°) ??]
You think Si-woo hyung's comfortable with this? He's just not showing it. Pretending nothing's wrong.
Si-woo was handling this strained relationship by deliberately not acknowledging Seok's inferiority complex, treating him no differently from the others.
In that sense, Hajin thought Jung Si-woo was truly remarkable.
If it were me, I'd have dragged him aside and asked, "Hyung, you got a problem with me?"
How could someone so thoroughly separate personal feelings from professionalism, even in the cutthroat environment of a survival show?
Hajin felt like he understood a little better now why he found Si-woo so intimidating.
Jung Si-woo was someone Hajin could never—perhaps in his entire lifetime—emulate. His ideal.
Calm, composed, yet deeply understanding of people.
Someone who gave his all to his work, thorough and flawless in execution.
Yet when dealing with others, never swayed too far by emotion or logic alone—always maintaining his principles.
...Isn't that what a real leader looks like?
Jung Si-woo knew.
Whether Kang Hajin was lying or not.
Whether his words held sincerity or not.
The motives and intentions behind every action.
Because Hajin and Si-woo were alike—yet utterly different.
And that was why Hajin found him so difficult.
Like when he'd first met Suho.
That pure passion had made his own emptiness feel exposed, leaving him uneasy.
"......."
Maybe I feel inferior to him too.
With that thought, Hajin closed his eyes and rolled onto his side.
Their relationship wasn't something he could interfere with.
Gong Seok felt more at ease with Hajin than with Si-woo, leaning on him emotionally.
But Hajin wasn't nearly as close or comfortable with Si-woo as Seok was with him.
If he barged in now to mediate, he'd only make things worse.
Seok would grow even more distant from Si-woo.
And Si-woo might end up feeling excluded, sparking a subtle battle of emotions.
It's not like Eun-chan's case, where he asked for help because he couldn't handle it alone... This could crack Si-woo hyung's pride. Even if I were leader, I'd tread carefully—and right now, HE'S the leader.
[System Alert: Sigh... Tough life, #IdolStoryProtagonist.]
...Thanks for calling me the protagonist. But technically, isn't the protagonist that Returner bastard? I'm way too underpowered for a main character.
Grumbling about his lack of buffs, he noticed Sipsam hesitating before vanishing.
Next time I have a breather, I'm dragging him into the Unconscious Space for a talk.
Just as he thought that, someone tapped his shoulder.
"Ah! You scared—hup!"
Startled, Hajin jolted upright before clamping his mouth shut.
Behind him, Ha-ru and Seok-i had finally succumbed to sleep, lying side by side.
...Huh? Then who just tapped me?
Hajin turned his head like a rusty robot.
The dimly lit practice room.
Past midnight.
If someone was standing behind him, it was either Jung Si-woo or a ghost!
And both options were equally terrifying!