Chapter 128: Variety Show Cheat Code
128. Variety Show Cheat Code
Today's Miro Maze opened with a special interview segment featuring the trainees.
<Jung Si-woo: Since I dropped out of high school at 19... So about four years now.>
<Seo Tae-hyun: Around three years since joining Miro? But if you count my previous activities in the industry... It's been a really long time.>
<Park Jae-young: I joined at 15. I even graduated middle school here.>
Responding to the production team's questions, the trainees shared regrets and hardships from their trainee days, including the exhaustion they'd faced during the recent survival program.
<Lee Pa-rang: Well, things like school sports days, festivals, field trips... Not being able to experience those feels a bit disappointing.>
<Joo Eun-chan: But I chose this path, so I have no regrets.>
<Gong Seok: Honestly... I think I'm a little worn out. We've been competing nonstop, after all.>
To prevent the interviews from sounding too gloomy to viewers, they were edited with upbeat BGM and vibrant colors.
The final interviewee was Dan Ha-ru.
<Dan Ha-ru: I'd want to hang out with my hyungs.>
<Dan Ha-ru: Just... put aside all the stressful thoughts for a while and genuinely enjoy the day.>
As Ha-ru answered with a bright smile and the footage slowed, viewers thought:
'Ah, today's episode will be boring.'
Given the flow, the next segment would likely be the sports day event previewed earlier.
Watching trainees laugh and play without any conflict might be wholesome, but it wasn't exciting.
Moreover, these were rookie trainees who hadn't even debuted yet!
They were variety show novices who couldn't yet naturally create entertaining moments by playing to the cameras.
'They'll probably highlight a few athletic trainees and wrap up with a heartwarming ending.'
Most viewers thought this way. Some even considered skipping the live broadcast and just watching their favorite trainees' cuts later.
But a few Destiny viewers stubbornly kept their remotes ready, trusting that the production team—who'd pulled off the massive Miro Escape stunt in Episode 1—wouldn't settle for a mundane sports day.
And the production team did not betray that trust!
<Today's story, as promised!>
—Kang Ha-hyung, do you play foot volleyball with your feet? Wait, foot volleyball is played with feet, right?
—Team Phoenix, charge!!!! (Charge!!!!!!)
—Ahhh!!!
—Kyaaaa!!!!!
Following Ha-ru's emotional interview, today's highlights began immediately.
The first shot showed Kang Hajin spectacularly kicking at thin air, followed by Jae-young, Eun-chan, and Ha-ru charging forward through soapy water at Si-woo's command.
Amidst screams and shouts, Seo Tae-hyun unexpectedly made eye contact with the camera and struck an ending pose.
Then, trainees collectively rode a human wave orchestrated by someone blurred with a question mark, creating pure chaos.
— ? I thought this was a sports day???
— What the hell did I just watch?
— Since when did survival shows go harder on variety than stage performances???
As viewers reacted to the unusual highlights, the production team quickly introduced today's special MC to ramp up the energy.
—Hey, how long do I have to wait here? Huh?
—Da-woon-ah, you're supposed to do your intro...
—Exactly, but this is taking too long. We're not filming Pia Land here, okay? The juniors are struggling... (2x speed)
—This is why I didn't want to bring you... (CG of soul leaving body from exhaustion)
—Ah, damn it, Nam Da-woon
—LMAOOOO Nam Da-woon
—Nam Da-woon just appeared and my audio already exploded
└ Seo Tae-il and the trainees' eardrums exploded tooㅠ
Nam Da-woon from U.P.I.A, brought in specifically to hype up the atmosphere, delivered perfectly.
The initially stiff trainees completely lost their minds within five minutes of his appearance.
—Okay, we got our opening segment. Right, production team?
<♥Variety God, Screen Time God, Supreme Majesty Namtijeu, we love you♥>
—Now, let's finally move on to team assignments.
After a smooth opening talk, it was time to announce the teams.
The scene of trainees drawing lots flashed by quickly like an insert cut.
The Vermilion Team (basically "Jung Si-woo's kids"),
The Azure Dragon Team (a gathering of wildcard personalities),
The Lilac Team (comparatively humble and timid among Miro trainees),
And the long-awaited... (just) Yellow Team.
The hilariously indescribable visuals had viewers in stitches.
@tae_day:
I've seen this in movies before
The kid who sucks at foot volleyball is usually the final boss
(Yellow Team members lining up with Seo Tae-hyun at center)
[[On Air] Why did they have to dress them in yellow again?]
They look like kindergarteners who grew too fast
—That's what makes them cute! Don't you know the charm of awkwardly adorable?
—And of course the most athletic ones ended up thereㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
—What we expected: Badass athletic oppas
What we got: Feral beasts too busy tucking their shoulders in to avoid ripping their chick outfits
Perhaps because expectations for humor were at zero, highlights were already pouring in just from team assignments.
Destiny viewers felt they'd be satisfied even if the next 50 minutes were just trainees awkwardly showing off their athletic skills.
'At least the visuals are perfect.'
Natural lighting, minimal makeup, comfortable training clothes, and trainees scattered across a wide field—what more could you ask for?
—Now, let's begin the first event!
<First Event: Soap Bubble Futsal>
The sports day officially began.
Having gotten some laughs, viewers thought they could now just enjoy watching these handsome boys run around the field, living their youthful...
—Ah, Player Kang Hajin! A home run!! It's a home run!!!
—But our event is futsal?
—At the same time, Dan Ha-ru's amazing sliding tackle!
—So we're playing futsal right now?
—I guess soap bubbles are just more fun!
...best lives.
<Mom, they're fighting again...ㅠ>
<The never-ending battle of the Kang Brothers>
—Hey!!!! Kang Hajin, weren't you in elementary school track and field!!!!! Why can't you do this right!!??
—I'm doing my best!!!
—You're worse than Yu-geon wearing flippers!!! What's your excuse!?!!
—Maybe flippers are Yu-geon's true calling!!!
—......? Me?
<Yu-geon discovers an unexpected talent!>
Li... live their...
—Player Joo Eun-chan! Bonus 100 points!
— ...? Why? Eun-chan didn't do anything?
—He didn't do anything, but look how handsome he is!
<Jung Si-woo: (Applauds approvingly)>
<Yellow Team: (Desperately surrounds Tae-hyun with reflectors to compete)>
<Azure Dragon Team: (Frantically strikes poses to not lose)>
<Lilac Team: (Just wants this to be over already)>
...This is too fun!
The chaotic variety skills of these laughably untalented trainees had Destiny viewers screaming with joy.
—Someone please tell them they don't have to go this hard for variety
—Is this an idol survival show or extreme variety trainingㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅠ
—Oh right... these are Miro kids...
—Still laughing so hard I'm cryingㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
—Never call Miro Maze boring again
—Forget debuting, just give them a fixed variety showㅜㅠㅠ!!
'...Good. As long as everyone's having fun.'
Even if I'll be forever memorialized as the guy who spectacularly failed at foot volleyball!
Even if "Hajin fails at ball games compilations" pop up on YouTube Shorts!
Even if my low-quality images of incompetence spread through fandom spaces with creative edits...!
Hajin decided to be satisfied.
Because the Destiny viewers looked genuinely happy.
'Being a fan of survival show trainees isn't easy. If this gives them something to laugh about, that's good.'
As someone who'd been a fan himself, Hajin knew his core fandom was relatively small compared to his public recognition, and that the current fandom atmosphere wasn't great.
He avoided looking too deeply, afraid of being affected, but...
It was obvious even at a glance that his fans had been struggling recently with various controversies and unfair criticisms.
In that dry spell, Hajin's entertaining performance in Episode 5 seemed to have been a welcome relief.
[System Notification: Liking someone isn't easy...]
[System Notification: The system sympathizes with Kang-Hajin's fans...]
[System Notification: (◞‸◟；)]
[System Notification: Wish we could help somehow.]
'Well, what can I do? Fandoms aren't something I can control.'
Even knowing he was a "public pick" with a weak core fandom, Hajin couldn't do anything about it.
Core fans weren't something you could build like muscle through training, and "something that stimulates fan devotion" wasn't something he could manufacture.
Fans simply found what resonated with them.
[System Notification: Still... Aren't you worried?]
[System Notification: Statistics show "public picks" in survival shows tend to drop in rankings as finals approach...!]
'Where did you even find those statistics?'
[System Notification: I did my research!]
[System Notification: Since you're participating in a survival show, I thought I should educate myself accordingly.]
[System Notification: Feeling accomplished... ( *๑•̀д•́๑)]
'Good job.'
Watching Sipsam flip imaginary pages with a proud pafak! sound effect, Hajin chuckled and shrugged. He quickly glanced at Eun-chan sleeping in the next bed, worried his laughter might have woken him.
[System Notification: ...Wouldn't it be better to just enter the Unconscious Space?]
'No way. Remember what happened last time? That wasn't long ago.'
[System Notification: Ahem... We're diligently researching the side effects...]
The blue system window shrank awkwardly.
Hajin gave Sipsam a sidelong glare before lying back comfortably on his pillow, scrolling through his Bluebird timeline filled with fan accounts.
'Well... It'd be a lie to say I'm not worried at all.'
Though he'd overcome much, fear of failure and limitations still lingered in Hajin's heart.
Even now, after achieving so much—enough to serve as solid foundation for his comeback—
The occasional tremors of anxiety were unavoidable.
'Setting aside regressions and missions... I really want to do this. Be an idol. Succeed.'
The more passion burned, the higher the dream soared—
The harder the potential fall.
In Hajin's very first life, when he first quit being a trainee.
When he began this regression cycle, when he received missions.
Each time, he'd tried his best to maintain a cynical attitude for this very reason.
Afraid of loving this dream too much.
Because loving something too desperately could bring immense loss and emptiness.
Hajin had been terrified of that, of life after such loss.
But in this life, he'd ended up loving his rediscovered dream and the new bonds he'd formed just as fiercely.
And that became a profound realization.
'...But now I know there's life after failure.'
The regret of not burning passionately enough,
The wounds of being abandoned by a dream he'd loved with all his heart—
All of it had shaped the Hajin of today.
'So let's just live thinking about today. That's overwhelming enough.'
[System Notification: ...That's something I want to tell the Fixed Regressor and the One Who Returns someday too.]
'Yeah. Let's catch them quickly. I'll grab them by the collars and brainwash them.'
[System Notification: Excellent plan!]
Now I'm really going to sleep.
Hajin carelessly dropped his phone by the pillow and closed his eyes.
By the time the third mission (already filmed) aired, the show would be past Episode 7.
'...About a month left.'
Just one month until debut team selections.
Pushing aside swirling worries, Hajin quickly fell into deep sleep.
And then—
—Guys, the new Miro Maze voting notice is up
A new voting notice for Miro Maze was posted.
The previous system allowing votes for up to 7 trainees was now limited to 2.
Moreover,
—They're starting eliminations now damn it