Chapter 122: The Reason for Action (9)
122. The Reason for Action (9)
"Ah, Mother. You can come this way."
Yeong-in carefully entered the studio under Soo-ho's guidance. The broadcasting studio, which she had never been to before, was surprisingly smaller than she had imagined.
"It's a bit chaotic, isn't it? The recording will start soon... I'll make sure you get to meet Hajin after the recording."
"No, it's fine. He's working—I shouldn't disturb him."
Despite Soo-ho's cautious words, she shook her head. Yeong-in knew that this place was Hajin's workplace, the broadcasting industry, where every word and action had to be measured.
Today, she just wanted to see Hajin and his stage. She wasn't here as a parent attending a child's school recital.
"Ah, the kids are coming up now."
"Yes, I see Hajin."
"You already spotted him? Hajin stands out because he's so tall."
"He's always been like that. Even as a kid, he was always a head taller than his friends. At sports festivals, he was the only one you could see."
Yeong-in smiled fondly as she recalled Hajin's childhood.
But even if Hajin had been of average height, Yeong-in would have found her son first, no matter where he was.
'But his styling is a bit different from the last broadcast.'
Yeong-in observed Hajin as he stepped onto the stage.
Unlike Miro Maze's usual neat school uniforms, Hajin's stage outfit was deliberately rough—a bandage on one cheek, an unbuttoned uniform shirt over a black graphic tee, rolled-up sleeves with a sports wristband, and a subtly glinting cross necklace.
Ironically, the look was eerily reminiscent of Hajin's actual school days.
'He used to dress exactly like that when he was in school.'
It suddenly struck her that Hajin was already twenty and a half years old.
It had already been that long since Hajin, who she thought had completely given up on his dream of becoming a singer, convinced her and his father to let him try again as a trainee.
And now, in just over six months, he was standing on a music show stage, performing.
"Alright, we're starting the recording! Everyone, quiet down!"
At someone's command, the studio quickly settled into order.
On stage, Hajin whispered something to each of his teammates one by one. They nodded or smiled in response.
Somehow, seeing that put Yeong-in at ease. It seemed Hajin was doing fine, just like always.
"Do they start like this right away? I thought Ha-ru's team went first last time."
"Ah, that's because after this recording, they'll film separately for the other segment."
"Ah, so they'll edit it together later. Well, a live competition and a recorded one must be different."
When Yeong-in asked curiously while watching the Sad Ending team already in formation, Soo-ho kindly explained. She nodded in understanding.
For someone who had never been to a broadcasting station before, she seemed surprisingly knowledgeable about the industry. Soo-ho glanced at her in mild surprise, and Yeong-in laughed in response.
"Hajin chatters about all this stuff over the phone every day. After hearing it so much, I've picked up a thing or two."
"Ah, I see. You're very well-informed. Oh, Mother, there's a monitor over there—it shows the broadcast feed. But I assume you'd rather watch the stage directly?"
"Hmm... Yes. Today, I'd like to see the stage."
Soo-ho pointed to the artist PGM monitor, but Yeong-in declined. Since music shows were entirely about what the cameras captured, managers usually watched the PGM monitor to give feedback.
But since Hajin wouldn't always be on-screen, Soo-ho made sure Yeong-in could keep watching him live on stage.
"Alright, then you can watch from here. I'll be over there monitoring. Enjoy the show, Mother."
"Thank you, Team Leader."
"No, thank you for entrusting Hajin to us."
Soo-ho smiled before heading to the PGM monitor, but not without adding quietly:
"Hajin is doing really well. You'll be proud when you see him."
At Soo-ho's sincere praise, Yeong-in responded with her usual bright smile.
"Hajin has always made me proud."
Hearing that, Soo-ho was certain.
The reason Hajin could always take that one last step, no matter how hard things got—it was because of this woman.
Even without having spoken much, Soo-ho knew.
"...Then I'll see you later."
"Yes. Don't worry about me—focus on your work."
"Thank you, Mother."
Soo-ho turned toward the PGM monitor.
Now alone, Yeong-in turned her gaze back to Hajin on stage. The slate rolled, and the stage was bathed in a familiar violet glow from the LED lights.
A brief silence.
Then, the opening notes of To You—a song she had heard so many times she could sing along—filled the air.
This is a letter to the one I loved.
Yeong-in's wide eyes fixed on a single person.
In that moment, countless memories rushed over her.
Hajin's first school recital at seven.
His first musical with the children's theater troupe.
The first competition he entered with his fellow trainees.
The first festival performance he prepared with his school friends.
All of Hajin's first stages.
Today, she was witnessing another first stage of his.
And that filled her with gratitude and happiness.
—What kind of arts career is that for a family with no money? Yeong-in, you're being too naive.
—What will these kids do if they fail? How many actually make it as singers?
—Aren't you worried about your kids? Who raises children like this these days?
The countless voices she had heard while raising Hajin and Ha-won.
But amidst those ordinary days,
Amidst the slow crawl of time,
Hajin's warm, affectionate voice would always rise above it all.
The child who sang with a smile, happier than anyone, shone brighter than anything else.
Yeong-in wanted to ask in return:
How could anyone not cheer for a child who shines like that on stage?
—Mom, sometimes... I'm scared of my own worthless future. I'm scared of disappointing you.
—So I'll just do something else. Not something with potential—just something I'm good at.
"When you're this good..."
She wanted to tell him:
You've always been good. You've always done well. You've never once disappointed me.
"You're doing great, my son."
So this time, she had to say it.
No matter where this challenge led, she was proud of every step he had taken.
Her nose stung as she fought back tears, watching Hajin's performance.
—Okay, Sad Ending team, we're moving to the intro/outro now!
"Thank you!"
—Yes, good work~
The recording was done three times.
Not because of mistakes by the team, but because the main PD kept asking for additional takes—whether out of greed or perfectionism, no one knew.
'Still, I think we did well.'
Hajin took a tissue from a makeup staff member and dabbed his forehead, catching his breath.
This was a high-difficulty performance involving an outfit change mid-stage, so while it looked effortless to the audience, it was hell for the performers. The delinquent school uniform was gone, replaced by a sharp suit for the second verse.
Hajin loosened the suffocating tie and undid a few more shirt buttons.
"You guys did great. Really."
Backstage, a rookie manager handed out handheld fans to the trainees as encouragement. Yu-geon, seemingly intent on earning his pay, quietly distributed water bottles beside him.
Ha-ru took a small water bottle from Yu-geon and chugged it straight from the cap.
"Ha-ru, slow down. You'll choke."
"Cough!"
"Hey! You little—!"
"Ha-ru, you okay? Hyung, pass me some tissues."
The moment Yu-geon spoke in concern, Ha-ru coughed and spilled water everywhere. Tae-hyun immediately grabbed tissues to check Ha-ru's makeup and clothes, while Hajin stared blankly at the stage.
The stage crew was resetting for Ha-ru's intro/outro shoot. Watching the PDs juggle clipboards, intercoms, and walkie-talkies felt strangely surreal.
"Hyung."
"......."
"Hajin hyung!"
"...Huh? What?"
"What are you thinking about? Come on."
"Ah. Yeah. Let's go."
Snapped out of his thoughts by Tae-hyun's voice, Hajin realized:
This was really where he belonged now.
And the fact that he was only now feeling it made him a little uneasy.
Since Ha-ru's solo shoot was about to start, the Sad Ending team had to return to the waiting room.
But Ha-ru whined about being nervous alone, and the others seemed to want to watch his shoot too.
In the end, only Hajin and Jae-young went back to the waiting room.
"Hyung, why aren't you watching my stage?!"
"I need to change my bandage. It's not like your shoot will take long, right?"
"Still... What about Jae-young?"
"Jae-young's dizzy from nerves. I'll let him lie down for a bit, so do well out there."
"Ugh..."
"Tae-hyun and Jayden are there, and Yu-geon's staying too, so don't lose your nerve."
"...? I was gonna go to the waiting room, though...?"
"Nope. You're staying here."
Yu-geon, who had been about to leave, blinked in confusion, but Hajin just shook his head with a benevolent smile.
"If you're gonna be a babysitter, be a good one. Where do you think you're going?"
"I thought I was a bodyguard?"
"Same difference. 'Bo' is in both words."
Yu-geon's 'What kind of person even is this hyung?' look was promptly ignored.
"Hajin, you're supposed to move with Team Leader Soo-ho... but he got called by the main PD."
"Ah, then Jae-young and I will go alone. It's not far, and I know the way."
"Hmm... Are you sure? You shouldn't really move separately..."
"It's fine. We'll just rest there."
Hajin reassured the rookie manager several times. He liked this guy—still green but diligent.
'When we debut... I wonder if he'll join our team.'
Even if not, he'd put in a good word with Ji Soo-ho. With that thought, Hajin headed to the waiting room with Jae-young.
The moment they stepped outside and breathed fresh air, Jae-young's complexion visibly improved.
"How are you this much of a scaredy-cat?"
"...I know, right? I didn't think I'd be this weak. I couldn't even participate in the first mission because I was sick..."
...Cough.
Hajin, stabbed by no one but his own guilt, cleared his throat and looked away.
'That bastard Dol-ja... I swear I'll tear him apart one day.'
[System Alert: Please take a number. I'm first in line.]
The moment Hajin mentioned Dol-ja, Sipsam appeared with impeccable timing. Flames roared dramatically in the background—though, remembering Hajin's trauma with red, they were yellow instead.
Tch. Hajin grimaced, and Jae-young quickly changed the subject.
"Hyung, are you okay? Your hand's hurt..."
"Ah, it's fine. I scraped it on the floor during the choreo."
The wound, which had seemed fine earlier, started stinging toward the end of the last take and eventually bled.
By the time the stage ended, it had mostly stopped bleeding and didn't hurt much, but he still needed to change the bandage—hence the trip to the waiting room.
"It didn't show on camera, right? The blood?"
"Not when I checked the monitor. Really, it's fine. Want to see?"
"Eek! No!"
"That reaction just makes me want to show you more."
Teasing the horrified Jae-young, Hajin peeled off the bandage on his palm. When he shoved the bloodied wound in Jae-young's face, the younger boy shrieked and scrambled away.
"AAAH! STOP! DON'T SHOW ME!"
"Sniff... Jae-young-ah... Hyung's in so much pain... Look, the flesh is all torn up..."
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALA!"
"Sob... My heartless dongsaeng runs away when hyung's hurt instead of comforting him... Fine, I'll just chase you then."
With the tease the dongsaeng button fully pressed, Jae-young covered his ears and bolted for the waiting room. Hajin wailed dramatically and gave chase. Since the studio and waiting room weren't far, they arrived quickly.
"UGH! STOP IT!"
"WAAAH! JAE-YOUNG-AH!! HYUNG'S HURT!! IT HURTS SO BAD!!"
"Now I get why Eun-chan keeps asking to switch roommates. Seriously."
Jae-young sighed and pushed open the waiting room door. Hajin, now fully committed to the bit, trembled his injured hand with an exaggerated pained expression. No one in the world took teasing dongsaengs more seriously than him.
The two stepped inside.
"Sob... It hurts so much... Look, Jae-young-ah, hyung's hand is bleeding nonstop—"
"...Son?"
"......?"
".........?"
Hajin's dramatic sobbing came to an abrupt halt.
Why is there a voice here that should never be in this waiting room?
Blinking, Hajin looked around—and locked eyes with...
His mother.
Yeong-in, pale-faced, stared silently at Hajin's hand.
"Why is your hand like that? Are you hurt?"
"......."
[System Alert: ...This isn't the System's fault. This is purely Kang Hajin's self-inflicted suffering.]
Uh. Well. You see—
Hajin's mouth clamped shut.
Oh god, how do I talk my way out of this...?