Better Me Than Someone Else
The chill of the floor crept up through my knees. But what was suddenly thrust before my eyes was heat of an entirely different kind. A mass of flesh had emerged through the gap in the front of her gray wide-leg pants—impossibly large, something no woman should have possessed—pulsing, the veins along it standing taut.
My mind went blank.
"Well, let's have a look then, shall we, Senior?"
Ina reached out and gripped my chin, tilting my face up. Her palm was ridged with hard calluses, and the moment that crushing grip pressed into my skin, my breath caught in my throat.
"I-Ina... please."
"Seems you still haven't grasped the situation."
The corner of Ina's mouth twisted upward. She fished a smartphone out of her other pocket, and with a familiar mechanical chime, the camera app flickered to life.
"Now then, don't just sit there cryin' injustice—prove it with your own two hands. I say you oughta strip and touch it yourself, Senior. Weren't you the one who couldn't control her impulses even alone, back in the day?"
"What...? N-no. I won't."
"Yu-na."
Her voice dropped low in an instant. The "Senior" she'd been tossing around was gone; all that remained was a cold, sunken casualness.
"Do I look like I'm playin' around? If you don't want your true self and your whole past plastered across Everytime and the department group chat, you'll quit the nonsense, drop your pants, and lie down. Now."
I couldn't defy her. Whatever happened here might simply be over once it ended. But the moment a record of all of it was saved inside that phone, my life would be finished, just like that.
With trembling hands, I dragged my pants and underwear down past my ankles. Kneeling on the freezing linoleum, I spread my legs, and the place surgery had made was laid bare before the lens. It was humiliating enough to make me want to die. And yet, somewhere entirely divorced from my will, my body was responding with perfect honesty. I was growing wet between the legs.
"Hh, nnh..."
Under Ina's gaze and the lens's at once, I pushed two fingers into the folds of my own flesh. Slick fluid spread along them as they slid in. I hated it. My whole body was surely trembling with revulsion—and still, every time a nerve was brushed, something deep in my belly gave a tingling pull. It didn't feel like my body at all. The simple fact that it was reacting on its own was enough to raise gooseflesh.
"You have to make sounds, Yu-na."
Ina's voice bored into my ear.
"Master's watchin', y'know. Keep clamping that mouth shut and what's my incentive to delete this video, hmm?"
Camera still in hand, she was lazily stroking herself through her fly with the other. I could hear her breathing turn rougher and rougher, vivid against my ear.
My fingers pushed a little deeper. My mind flashed white.
"Ah—!"
My back arched clean off the floor. What tore past my lips was not the voice I remembered as mine. It was a perfect woman's moan—high, thin, trembling. My body convulsed on its own, spilling over the edge again and again.
I heard the click of the recording being stopped. Ina tossed the phone carelessly onto the bed and came straight for me, her cheeks already flushed deep red.
"Finishin' all by yourself and runnin' off—that's cheatin', y'know."
She snatched one of my wrists. I tried reflexively to push myself up and scramble back, but I didn't budge an inch. My wrist, pinned in one of her hands, couldn't even be twisted free. Back when I was a man, the idea of being physically overpowered by a female junior six years my junior would have been beyond imagining. But the me of now couldn't shake so much as one of her arms no matter how hard I thrashed.
"Turn around, Yu-na."
Ina bore down on my shoulder. With no room to resist, my body was flipped and bent face-down over the edge of the bed.
"Ina, wait—mmph!"
"Spread yourself. With your hands."
It was an order. When I hesitated, her fingers pinched the inside of my thigh, squeezing hard enough to bruise. The pain threatened to bloom into marks, and in the end I spread myself open with shaking hands. Through that gap, I felt something hot and rigid press against me.
"Don't move."
It slid in. My breath jammed in my throat. Something enormous forced its way through a passage far too narrow for it, and a stretching, tearing tightness pierced straight through my lower belly. My body went rigid at the alien fullness—something I had never once felt in my life.
"Ah, aaagh...! It hurts, it hurts...! Please, take it out...!"
Screams and pleas ground out of me together, crushed flat. The pain was blinding enough to white out my vision; my knuckles went bloodless around the bed sheets, as if they might snap.
"Hah... look at that. Clenchin' down and won't let go."
Ina's hands seized my hips hard enough to crack bone. There was no escape for me. My knuckles whitened around the sheets.
Slap. Slap.
The sound of flesh striking flesh echoed through the room in a steady rhythm. Every time Ina's hips drove forward, my body was shoved ahead across the mattress, and every time, her iron grip hauled me back. The blunt shock of being struck near the mouth of my womb rattled my skull without mercy.
It hurt. It hurt, and it terrified me. Then why—why was there this heat blazing up from somewhere deep inside my belly? I couldn't say. I didn't want to feel pleasure. I refused to admit that anything like enjoyment could intrude on a moment this cruel. But as if to mock that resolve of mine, I felt it, endlessly.
"Yu-na."
Ina leaned over me, pressing down on my nape. Her ragged breath ghosted across my skin.
"I'm gonna pour everything inside, so you clamp down tight with that pussy and hold it."
At the last moment, Ina drove her hips in to the hilt. Her rigid tip plugged the deepest part of me completely.
Throb.
Hot liquid surged violently into my depths. The sensation of my belly swelling heavy and full. With each pulse of her release, my inner walls fluttered and clenched around her of their own accord.
"Hh, aahh...!"
My mind went distant one more time. The cry my body loosed without permission scattered through the room.
How much time had passed? With a wet, dragging sound, she slid slowly out of me. The feeling of white liquid trickling from my hole down my thigh was unbearably vivid.
It was over. All the violence and all the heat stopped as though it had never been. Only ragged breathing and silence hung in the room. Face buried in the bed, I couldn't move so much as a finger. Shame and self-loathing pressed down on every inch of me. More than the fact of what had been done to me, it was the knowledge that my body had responded—had even climaxed—that made myself unbearable to be.
A soft rustle. The mattress shifted lightly. I felt Ina's hand coming closer, and I flinched hard, hunching my shoulders in reflex. At that, the approaching hand stopped dead in midair.
Ina stared quietly at my back, at me trembling and terrified out of my mind. For the briefest instant, something cracked across her expression—a flicker of bewilderment. The hand she'd reached out was quietly withdrawn, and she spoke with care.
"...Can I touch you?"
Her voice had changed completely. The cold commands that had been splitting my ears minutes ago were nowhere to be found. It was her usual tone—the sly, easygoing junior I knew.
It was absurd. She'd stripped me and forced herself on me without asking for a shred of permission, and now she was asking. The confusion swam through my head. When I couldn't manage any answer and only gasped for breath, Ina rose. I heard her footsteps go into the bathroom, and a moment later she came back with a towel soaked in warm water.
"Stay still for me, now."
Ina began gently wiping the semen from my inner thighs, from between my legs. Every trace of the roughness was gone; her touch was as careful as if she were handling a fragile glass doll. She tidied my fallen clothes on the floor, drew up the rumpled blanket, and tucked it thoroughly around me up to my shoulders. Then she sat quietly by the head of the bed and brushed the sweat-damp hair from my cheek.
"Senior."
"...What."
My voice came out terribly cracked.
"I love you."
It was so flat, so natural. How she could rape the person who'd turned her down minutes ago and then say something like that so serenely—I couldn't comprehend it at all. Biting my lip, I looked up at her with trembling eyes.
"...Why would you do this to someone you love?"
Ina didn't blink. Brown eyes without a shred of hesitation stared straight into mine, and she smiled, small and soft.
"Better than givin' it to somebody else, ain't it?"
A chill slid down my spine. This girl had no guilt in her at all. Were her violence and her affection sitting on exactly the same line, perfectly level?
Ina pressed her lips lightly to my forehead, then pulled away. She slipped under the blanket beside me and drew my trembling back firmly against her chest. Her soft, supple breasts and the steady beat of her heart pressed warm against my spine.
"Sleep well tonight. I'm not goin' anywhere—I'll be right here beside you."
Her breath against my ear was low and quiet. I couldn't understand it. How could the cruel predator who'd made me cry only moments ago be the same person now carefully stroking my hair and sharing her warmth? And what I understood even less than that was—
that in her arms, I felt warm.