The Fishman (Part 2)

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d get slapped across the face by a fish, let alone end up kissing an eel.

My nosebleed clotted soon enough, but the stinging throb in my nasal bridge lingered. Still, taking a long look ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠at the iron drum packed to the brim with fresh catches made all that humiliation melt into pure satisfaction—especially with an eel that easily eclipsed the extra-large classification resting at the top. The relentless downpour had triggered a miserable cascade of mishaps, but this haul washed every grievance clean away.

Now then, let's see... What’ll work best for a proper drainage channel?

With the fish traps secured and time to spare, I opened the interdimensional Gallery's auction hall to browse materials for a proper drainage system. In theory, the job was simple: dig trenches into the earth, lay down the right conduits, and call it a day. In practice, finding prefabricated pieces that matched the dimensions of my cave while sparing me the nightmare of recarving the soil walls was another story entirely.

There's surprisingly quite a variety.

Drainage wasn't just vital for sprawling metropolitan centers; it was the lifeblood of any humble village. Even for a lone outpost or a single solitary dwelling, runoff infrastructure was the very first thing an architect had to set up. Neglect the drainage, and every cloudburst turned into an unmitigated disaster.

Which explains why there's so much stock on the market.

The Gallery's greatest advantage was its utter disregard for physical supply chains. Isolated, far-flung backcountry hamlets that couldn't easily source freight had to be heavily reliant on the forum's trade window. High prices wouldn't even register as a deal-breaker; as the old saying goes, time is money, and purchasing goods here was essentially buying back precious hours.

And since I’m practically swimming in time, it’s a pure win for me.

After sifting through several pages of listings, I finally tracked down suitable stone conduits. They were trapezoidal drainage troughs sold in bulk, boasting glowing buyer reviews. That settled it. Just to be safe, I unrolled a measuring tape and took rough measurements of the cave mouth and slope.

Looks like I’ll need to carve out just a little more dirt.

I deepened the trenches with my shovel, then fitted the newly delivered stone conduits one after another into the ground. Once every piece was aligned with painstaking precision, I splashed a bucket of water over the entrance to test the runoff.

Trickle, trickle...

"Mm. Perfect."

The stream gathered smoothly along the channel, following the incline toward the outer slope without pooling or leaking into the dirt. A swell of self-satisfaction warmed my chest, prompting me to snap a few photos and upload them to the Gallery.

Coming from a dwarf, that qualified as genuine praise. The thought brought a smirk to my face. Prior to this, the only trench-digging I had ever done was during my mandatory military service—and because officers had forced me to do it under threat of disciplinary punishment, I had never felt the slightest shred of accomplishment back then.

After giving the channels one final inspection, I looked back across the breadth of the cave. Even so, Passing Dwarf’s offhand remark struck a tender nerve.

Are you planning on living there forever?

He had meant it as a lighthearted jab, but it wasn't easy for me to laugh off. I might not intend to settle down permanently, but I definitely had to treat this shelter as my base camp for the foreseeable future. My hope of escape hadn't withered in the slightest, yet the Forest of the Four Seasons was undeniably uninhabitable for a normal human being. Ordinary flora and fauna swelled to colossal monstrosities or gained uncanny sapience, with terrors that spat in the face of common sense lurking behind every ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠thicket to claim my life.

It doesn't help that this world is a bizarre cocktail of high fantasy and wuxia martial arts, making reason even more useless.

Then again, even to the natives of this realm, the Forest of the Four Seasons remained a domain beyond all logic. Gazing into the gloomy corners of the cavern, I let out a long, heavy sigh.

What else can I do? It’s just my rotten luck.

What heinous crime had I committed in my past life to open my eyes in a hellhole like this? Could I have blacked out after drinking myself stupid and committed some unforgivable atrocity? Even if that were true, picking me out of billions of people felt downright spiteful.

Dear God, you're really crossing the line here.

I knew gods existed in this realm. The Gallery's main moderator had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠even tried to preach their divine faith to me. But acknowledging their existence was entirely separate from worshipping them. What had any god ever done for me to earn my devotion?

Still, once I break out of this place, I’m definitely tracking them down to demand answers.

Why did you drop me into this godforsaken pit? What sins was I supposedly paying for? And above all: can I go back home? That was the single question that mattered most. If I fought tooth and nail to escape this primordial nightmare only to discover I could never return...

No. Stop. Don't go down that rabbit hole.

I shook my head vigorously. Harboring defeatist thoughts only chipped away at a survivor's willpower. Impoverished and grueling as my old life had been, good people had stood by me on Earth. For their sake alone, I had every reason to return. I hadn't even repaid the debts of gratitude I owed them.

"Kyuuu."

"...Hungry, little guy?"

Just as a melancholy gloom settled over my chest, Wonmo shuffled quietly toward me. Sensing my foul mood, the cub approached with uncharacteristic caution. When I offered a faint, reassuring smile, he rubbed his furry snout affectionately against my shin. Chuckling, I stroked his head. He really was sharp when it came to reading the room.

Even if I manage to escape this forest, I’m keeping Wonmo with me no matter what.

Abandoning such an adorable creature? Anyone who could do that deserved to be ripped apart by a wild owlbear. I gave him another warm scratch behind the ears before checking the time. Noon was already upon us. It was eerie how my internal stomach clock proved more punctual than the Gallery's digital interface.

The floor is still damp from the storm. Better pull out the furs.

With moisture seeping from the rock walls, I dragged over the tiger hide that served as our floor mat. After laying down my culinary prep station, I headed over to the water drums. One drum contained three sizable fish, while the other held the colossal river eel.

I never could afford to eat eel back home, and here I am about to feast on one in the wild.

Why hadn't I eaten eel before? Not because I disliked it, but because my wallet couldn't bear the price tag. When every meal was instant ramen, luxury seafood was out of the question. Beef was the finest delicacy I had ever tasted, a vivid memory etched into my palate. It would be a long time before I tasted premium beef again, but in the meantime, I had fish that tasted just like meat.

If only I had proper seasonings.

Since I rarely cooked fish, I had no clue what flavors complemented it best. And when in doubt? Consult the Gallery. Treating yourself to a culinary upgrade every now and then was essential for boosting morale and keeping combat readiness high.

I'd stick to buying oyster sauce from the auction hall. The Heavenly Demon had offered to send me a jar of special cult-made sauce, but I barely managed to talk her down. Every single time she granted me a favor, her subordinates ran themselves ragged, and I was starting to feel second-hand guilt on their behalf. She had mentioned considering gifting that inner core to her aide, but whether she actually followed through remained a mystery.

Let's hope she isn't an exploitative sweatshop boss.

Regardless, oyster sauce was the winner for today's lunch. The auction listing commanded a hefty price for a rather meager jar, and factoring in the giant eel waiting for dinner, I’d probably drain the entire bottle by nightfall.

Ssssszzzzz—!

Now to glaze this over the meat.

Lacking an appropriate culinary brush, I improvised by smoothing the thick sauce across the fillets with the back of a metal spoon.

"Oh man. Smells incredible."

The pale white fish meat browned enticingly as the savory glaze caramelized over the heat. The glistening color alone was enough to make my mouth water, and my stomach growled in fierce anticipation.

"Nom, nom, nom."

While the seasoned fillets sizzled, Wonmo happily devoured his share beside me. As usual, I had already carved out the beast's inner core before handing over the meat. Watching him munch with such pure, unadulterated joy put a broad grin on my face.

Time to eat!

Once the fillets ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked thoroughly cooked, I shifted the cast-iron skillet away from the direct flames. It was wise to keep the campfire burning low anyway to replenish my charcoal reserves. Snatching up my chopsticks, I flaked off a thick, piping-hot morsel of fish and popped it into my mouth.

"Ahhh!"

If the simple salt-grilled version tasted like tender poultry, glazing it with oyster sauce turned it into a succulent steak. Calling it identical to an authentic beefsteak might be a slight stretch, but the richness came remarkably close. Sweet, salty, bursting with deep umami that coated the tongue, without even a whisper of fishy bitterness. Pure gourmet ecstasy. Out of everything I had hunted in this forest, this was hands down the most delicious meal yet.

To think I get to eat all of th—

THUD!

The thought shattered mid-sentence.

The very bedrock beneath the cavern groaned. A heavy, suffocating stillness blanketed the surroundings. Even Wonmo, who was typically blind to the world whenever food was involved, froze with fish hanging from his beak and jerked his head up.

Rustle—

Sensing the sudden shift in the air, Fast Tree Sloth swiftly climbed up and anchored itself to my back.

THUD! THUD! THUD!

The rhythmic quaking intensified. Lowering my chopsticks without a sound, I gripped the hilt of the Heavenly Demon's Sword. I made a strict habit of keeping both the Heavenly Demon's Sword and the Adamant Shield within arm's reach at all times, ensuring I could react to sudden crises at a split second's notice.

Whatever it is, it’s massive.

Judging by the heavy tremors rattling the cavern floor with each step, this intruder rivaled the Earth Guardian in bulk. Could it be another giant bear like the one from before? No—Sword Master had once pointed out that four-legged beasts distributed their weight evenly, meaning their strides rarely caused tectonic vibrations. Only massive bipedal creatures—monsters that walked upright on two legs—produced heavy, shuddering shockwaves with every step.

And if a bipedal creature was shaking the ground like this, its scale had to be astronomical. Every nerve wound tight, I geared up and rose to my feet.

THUD! THUD!

The tremors swelled into a rolling crescendo.

CRASH!

From the jungle trail leading up from the riverbank, a towering silhouette emerged. True to Sword Master’s words, it walked upright on two legs, but its silhouette was profoundly alien. Its hide was a sickly, washed-out grey, its frame locked in an exaggerated hunch. While not quite as colossal as the subterranean Guardian, it easily cleared three meters in height. From the neck down, its physique roughly mirrored that of a muscular human.

Yet its head and extremities were anything but human.

...A shark?

Its face looked as if the head of a great white shark had been grafted directly onto a humanoid torso. A maw gaping slightly open revealed row upon row of jagged, triangular teeth. A thick dorsal fin protruded prominently from where the nape of its neck met its upper back, and its clawed hands and feet were bridged by leathery webbing like that of a bullfrog.

A shark giant. That was the only description that fit.

"Grrrrr..."

The beast's cold, predatory gaze locked squarely onto me. I sank into a defensive stance, raising my guard. Despite its humanoid frame, there wasn't an ounce of friendly intent behind those unblinking black eyes. I had already tangled with the Mushroom Man; letting my guard down around mutated bipedal horrors was a mistake I wouldn't make twice.

THUD! THUD! THUD!

The shark giant dragged its heavy feet forward, closing the distance at a deliberate pace. Its hunched posture lowered its head, yet the suffocating aura of brute power it radiated was staggering. Stalking right up to my campsite, the monster reached out a massive webbed hand and...

SNATCH!

It grabbed the cast-iron skillet holding my half-eaten fish—the very fish I had glazed with expensive oyster sauce.

"Huh?"

Wait, no way. You're not seriously...

Before the thought could even finish forming in my brain—

Crunch! Chomp! Gulp!

With a couple of vicious snaps of its jaws, the shark giant crushed the fish to paste and swallowed it whole.

My jaw dropped in stunned disbelief. What in the hell did this bastard just do? I had resolved to splurge on premium oyster sauce for the first time in my life, I had only managed to take a single bite, and this oversized overgrown fish just walked in and scarfed it down in one gulp?

"You...!"

In that instant, I finally understood the white-hot murderous rage Fast Tree Sloth felt when that raccoon tried to swipe its Inedia Pill.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

There was no holding back my fury now.