Bizarre Adventure (3)
Splat! Thwack! Thwack!
"Kwek! Kuek! Kek!"
Harvesting adult mandrakes had gone from familiar to downright masterful. Yank 'em out by the roots, give 'em a good pounding, stuff their mouths with dirt, and done. It seemed sneakily easy... and yeah, it was. Just beat the crap out of them and call it a day. They were wasted here anyway—better to become top-tier fertilizer for someone.
I should start eating one or two myself soon.
Raw would be insane, so I'd process or cook them properly. Olfather said even just soaking them in water worked fine, so options abounded. The best bet? Hand a few off to StarlightPrincess. She was the alchemy expert, after all.
Someday the seeds'll run dry.
I scanned the Mandrake Grove. The clearing was still packed with them—about the size of a basketball court, crammed full of adult mandrakes. Plenty for now, but at this rate, they'd dwindle. Had to squeeze every last drop while they lasted. Boost my survival odds, right?
Wonder what shield he'll hook me up with this time?
Gripping an adult mandrake in one hand, I headed back to the Shelter Cave. No major threats on the way. Back at the cave, I checked the smoking rack first. Nice and golden, smoke soaking in perfectly. A bit salty, sure, but salting extended shelf life—no complaints there. I could handle it.
Time to hit up SunForever for that trade.
I poked at the campfire to adjust the flames, then posted on the Gallery. The post was basically a request to send the trade offer.
SunForever has requested a trade. Accept?
It pinged in under a minute. Perfect timing—or maybe he'd prepped a shield after seeing my post. I accepted right away.
SunForever: Hey! Got an adult mandrake for ya!
SunForever: I got the shield too. Oh, and can I have the golden shield back?
Of course! Need it repaired?
SunForever: Gonna melt it down ;;;
Every time, SunForever radiated that Middle Eastern oil baron vibe. The casual confidence of someone swimming in cash—enviable on every level.
SunForever: Made it with adamantium mixed in, so it'll hold up to damn near anything. If that breaks, you're broken too.
That tough, huh?
SunForever: Yup. You know what adamantium is?
I know vibranium, but...
SunForever: What's that?
Anyway, think super rare ore. Tougher than steel, especially the durability.
Durability made me think of army slippers—the Defense Ministry's last shred of conscience, hailed as vibranium. You had to snag one on discharge. The other essential? Razor and blades.
Come to think of it, haven't even considered shaving.
I rubbed my stubbly jaw. Normally shaved every 2-3 days, but survival came first. Doubt this world had safety razors—barber straight razors, maybe.
Sir, you shave?
SunForever: Servants handle it, why?
Got a straight razor?
SunForever: What else you shave with, a spoon?
No safety razor, then. Straight razor had issues, though.
Foam's a hassle too.
Soap or foam? And cuts? Nah, better to go full mountain man. Easier that way. Shaving dream shelved—if it got too long, hack it off. One step closer to true wild man.
Nah, better to grow it out.
Registered it?
SunForever: Yep. Need anything else?
Not right now.
SunForever: Cool. Hit me up anytime.
And I'll toss in mandrakes.
You seem lonely... come visit?
SunForever: Wife's calling. Gotta bounce.
Sure...
Chat over, I inspected the shield. Round and solid, about the size of the old golden one.
No patterns at all?
Plain as dirt—no flash. More like a hunk of steel cut to shape. Bare-bones shield frame. Gleaming silver, which inspired trust.
Weight's the same.
Perfect. Better defense than the gold one—full upgrade.
I'm invincible now.
Cheonma's sword and adamantium shield. Nothing to fear.
...Yeah, right. Tigers still scared me shitless. Invincible my ass—without Ppareumbo, I'd be dead ten times over.
Shield secured. Time to snag some crabs.
Before heading out, check on Ppareumbo and Wonmo. Wonmo'd be napping peacefully by now, Ppareumbo guarding...
"...?"
...Where'd they go?
I blinked, scanning the cave. Once a mad dog pack den, it was spacious but cozy—not huge.
"Wonmo? You here, answer. Ppareumbo, same."
No sign, even after calling everywhere. Not dragged off by beasts—no struggle marks, cave spotless.
Didn't know what happened, but one thing clear: Wonmo and Ppareumbo bolted outside. Both? Dizzying.
Why...? No, when?
Unforeseen crisis. Brain freeze. Wonmo only knew eat, sleep, shit—needed constant care. Never dreamed she'd wander out.
Don't rush—wastes time. Track traces first.
Posted to Gallery first. Trade with PassingDwarf on hold.
YasaengGrills: Wonmo and Ppareumbo ran away (photo of empty cave interior)
Gotta find 'em—no Q&A. Sorry PassingDwarf, really. Extinguishing this fire first, then pay up.
No time for comments. Grabbed sword, shield, emergency elixir, and Wall Valley Pills.
Hurry—haven't gone far.
Worried they'd get hurt. Silver lining: footprints. Track 'em max.
"Wonmo!"
Followed prints, yelling her name. Risky for beasts, but had to. She knew her name—might pause.
"Wonmo! No! Stop!"
Pet tip: Lost? Yell "no!" regardless. Works 'cause they don't know what you're stopping.
"This..."
Found a mark mid-track: Ppareumbo's claw gouge on a tree. Familiar pattern. Periodic marks—prepping for lost trail. Smart. I carved sword marks for return path.
Just avoid weird spots.
Like the ever-shifting riverbank. Worst case if they crossed. Prayed not, kept tracking.
Not into thick brush.
Wonmo's size steered clear of dense foliage—easy track. Ppareumbo's bold marks carried hard. Clever beast marked eye-catchers big. Reward with Wall Valley Pill later. Scold Wonmo.
From now on, take Wonmo everywhere awake.
Naps okay alone, but seal cave entrance otherwise.
How to block it... later.
Yelled for Wonmo more, searched far. Expected close, but traces led on.
Rustle—
Froze at bush noise. Not random. Good or bad?
Stayed alert, eyed the shaking bush.
"Wonmo...?"
Whisper-called. No reply. Probably not her. Eyes glued.
Rustle-rustle-rustle—louder. Tense as hell. Unknown turf, rabbit-strong forest—slack off, dead.
Shakes intensified... then it emerged.
"Peep?"
Black fluff, tiny beak. Cute chirp. Obvious chick hopped out.
Tension melted... then questions. Wait, why's it huge?
Normal chicks fist-sized. Even adult chickens barely knee-high. This peep? Knee-to-chest, eye-level.
If chick's that big, chicken's...
Spine chilled.
Whoosh—shadow over my head. Not clouds. Just my spot darkened. Slowly turned, dreading.
Chickens guard chicks, stay near nest—except hunting strays.
"..."
"..."
Looked up at majestic "chicken." Black feathers, striking red comb. What the hell forest grew chickens saber-tooth size?
"Peep."
Chick peeped for mom. I glanced, quietly backed off. Chick waddled to hen. She checked it, stared me down. Ready to rumble if threat.
What kinda chicken glare...
No fight chicken, but killer eyes. Scars everywhere, bald patches glaring.
"...Cluck."
"Peep. Peck."
Luckily, turned away. Chick trailed into brush.
"Whew..."
Sighed relief. Close call. Size-up intel too? Tested me with chick nearby.
...Wonmo okay?
Worries surged.
*****
Same time. Wonmo and Ppareumbo.
"..."
Wonmo stared ahead, eyes round—not cute, laser-focused.
"Hiss. Flick."
Simple reason: big snake tongue-flicking before her. Decent size, fangs gleaming on yawns. One bite? Wonmo toast.
"..."
Watcher: Ppareumbo, perched on Wonmo's back, ready to pounce.
Strike? Claw-shred instant.
Creak—Wonmo's paw rose slow. Snake head up. Who first? Reaction = life.
Prime show for Ppareumbo. Intervene if dicey.
Standoff... snake lunged first.
"Hiss!"
Fangs bared, blitz speed—even I'd struggle. Ppareumbo moved—Wonmo beat her.
Splat!
Thick paw smashed snake head cat-paw style, but brutal. One hit pulped it. Body twitched gross, pointless.
Squish!
Wonmo stomped, mounted triumphantly. Body writhed wild under weight—headless, futile.
Wonmo head high.
"Kyuuu!"
Victor's roar—adorably.
One task left.
"Nom nom nom nom."
Devour loser. Wonmo chewed, tore, savored snake's spasms guilt-free.
Sharing urge? Paused, looked up at Ppareumbo.
"Kyu?"
Want a bite?
Ppareumbo eyed them slow, shook head deliberate.
Shake-shake—
Their bizarre adventure continued.
"Wonmo! Where are you! Answer if here!"
Someone's gut-wrenching one too.