The Paladin Riding a Giraffe (1)
"I'll win it back and pay you back."
It was a phrase used not just by degenerate gamblers, but by people in general. Though honestly, it sounded far more suited to opportunistic dreamers chasing a jackpot than actual gambling addicts.
"Ah, come on, seriously. Let's believe in Ggobongi just this once. You know how strong he is, don't you?"
"……."
Bbarmbo stared at me in silence the moment I laid the Inedia Pills on the line. He was merely looking at me, but good lord, the pressure radiating off him was terrifying.
"It's only three pills! Just three! If we win with these, we can walk away with even more Inedia Pills, you know?"
"……."
"If Ggobongi loses, I swear I won't gamble again."
After my desperate pleading, Bbarmbo finally grunted his permission for the wager. However, the arena only operated from midday until sunset. Until then, what did I do? I passed the time between light training and browsing the Gallery.
Photos on the Gallery were usually captured and uploaded directly through the user's field of vision. Consequently, what showed up on the forum was virtually identical to seeing the person in the flesh. The handsome man in that photo was almost certainly just as striking in reality.
He really is filthy good-looking.
A classic Western aristocrat. Rather than ruggedly masculine, he possessed an exquisitely sculpted, refined beauty. How amazing would it feel to be born with a face like that?
...Not that it does anyone a lick of good out in this forest.
Before dropping into the wild, life must have been smooth sailing on easy mode. Here, though, it held no meaning whatsoever. Out here, physical capability reigned supreme over looks and status. Still, envy was envy; women were bound to line up around the block for him. I almost typed out a comment, then thought better of it and scrolled past. Leaving a reply was pointless anyway.
Finally, I caught a glimpse of Ash's face, something I had always been curious about. Just as the rumors claimed, she was remarkably beautiful. Whenever I searched for Ash on the Gallery, actual photos were practically non-existent amidst the mountains of rumors; she was notoriously a homebody who rarely set foot outside her estate, explaining the lack of public imagery.
That uniform looks sharp on her too. But wait... her skin?
I leaned in and examined Ash's complexion closely. Her skin possessed a glossy, radiant sheen that almost seemed to glow. I felt an odd sense of deja vu—until I realized it looked identical to my own skin right now. Whatever mystical properties had been packed into that honey I ate yesterday, it had resulted in this exact texture. It was as if I had chugged an elixir of youth. Who knew how long the effect would last, though.
Hmm... whatever. Let's move on.
Even if a familiar Fixed Nick happened to be Ash herself, what did it matter? The world was vast, and she was an illustrious swordsman held in high esteem throughout the Messiah Empire. It made sense that she would maintain pristine skin, whether through deliberate care or supernatural cultivation.
Perhaps because it was a grand succession ceremony that drew the entire empire together, photos of various noble faces surfaced on the feed as the aristocracy gathered. Among them, the one who commanded attention above all else was undoubtedly Selena. Ash had white hair subtly tinged with a soft azure hue, but Selena's was absolute, unblemished snow-white. Her complexion was similarly pristine—pale as virgin frost—setting her leagues apart from anyone else in the frame.
Wait, her skin too...?
Selena's skin shared that same abnormal, luminescent luster. Add to that the talk of her miraculously recovering from an incurable illness, and Starlight Princess naturally came to mind. Starlight Princess had suffered from the Nine Yin Blocked Meridians before regaining her health through the herbs I sent her.
Then again... does it really matter?
Starlight Princess was an invaluable patron who consistently supplied me with supreme-tier Elixirs. If I exposed her and got on her bad side, I would be the only one suffering the fallout. Besides, I only had circumstantial clues, not concrete proof. Even if I went shouting it all over the Gallery, nobody would believe me anyway.
After browsing the continuous stream of succession posts, I checked the time. It was the perfect moment to grab a quick lunch and head over to the arena.
"Hah!"
"Kkyu-woo!"
"Hah!"
"Kkyu!"
When I stood up, I found Ggobongi and Wonmo throwing synchronized straight punches. Ggobongi had adamantly refused to teach me, yet here he was, personally instructing Wonmo? A strange, mildly betrayed feeling prickled in my chest, but I let it go, figuring beasts had their own unspoken wavelength. Besides, seeing Wonmo throwing his stubby little paws with utmost seriousness was unspeakably adorable. At this rate, I might have to teach Wonmo the Internal Cultivation Art myself.
"Let's get moving."
"Kkyu-woo!"
"……."
With all our preparations complete, we departed for the arena. Bbarmbo still didn't seem entirely thrilled about wagering the Inedia Pills, but he begrudgingly tolerated it. Before long, we arrived at the arena. Two kangaroos stood guard at the entrance, exactly like yesterday.
"Pu-oh."
Unlike the previous day, they casually stepped aside and opened the way. Offering a brief nod of thanks, I stepped through. The moment we crossed the threshold, the roaring, boisterous clamor of the crowd washed over us.
"Pu-ohhhhh!"
"Wo-ohhhhh!"
A victor kangaroo raised both arms in triumph, greeted by ecstatic roars from the spectator kangaroos. Moments later, the triumphant kangaroo swaggered off into the brush with a female in tow. A gladiatorial tournament held every summer purely for mating season... Even knowing the context, watching it play out in real-time remained utterly baffling.
Today's contenders are...
More important than the kangaroo customs were the tournament entrants. Turning my head, I scanned the VIP box. A diverse lineup of heavyweights was seated there, including a massive bear. To my surprise, even the Golden Apple Deer was present. I had no idea whether they joined out of sheer boredom or for some hidden motive.
"Ggobongi. Take these Inedia Pills and sit over there."
"Understood."
"If they kick up a fuss when they see the pills, hand one out to each of them."
Fearing the beasts might complain about the unorthodox wager, I gave him sample pills for tasting. Naturally, I felt Bbarmbo's murderous glare boring directly into the back of my skull, but I chose to actively ignore it.
Ggobongi sauntered over to the gathering of contenders and set the Inedia Pills down among the pooled prizes. Whether because an unfamiliar challenger had entered the fray, or because the wager was a measly three little pellets, the response was immediate.
"Grrr."
"Pffft."
Both the bear and the Golden Apple Deer openly displayed their distaste. The moment Ggobongi caught their hostile reaction, he executed my instructions to the letter, tossing an Inedia Pill to each animal.
For a brief second, the beasts wore expressions of profound bewilderment—until they crunched down on the pills, and their demeanors flipped on a dime.
"Kwo-oh? Kwo-ohhh!"
"Prrrrr...!"
The bear let out a stunned rumble of ecstasy, and even the deer, which had maintained an aloof, cynical sneer up until now, snapped its eyes wide open. To the beasts native to the Forest of Four Seasons, the Inedia Pill seemed to register as an unprecedented gourmet processed treat—an extraordinarily delicious delicacy, perhaps comparable to artisan chocolate.
In any case, wagering Inedia Pills was no longer contested. All that remained was for Ggobongi to claim victory.
As the tournament commenced, the forum users locked in their bets. Time slipped by as the brackets unfolded, until...
"Pffft."
"Ggaaahhhh..."
"Wait, what the...!"
Ggobongi was utterly, catastrophically battered into defeat by the Golden Apple Deer. Watching it unfold, words failed me. Even if Ggobongi couldn't tap into his mana due to the suppressor collar, losing to a stag was something I had never even entertained in my wildest nightmares.
No, hold on. Ggobongi literally mauled the bear earlier. Is that deer just on an absurdly monstrous level?
Just looking at those massive, magnificent golden antlers, the creature's immense power was unmistakable. It was an apex predator presumed to reign over an entire territorial biome. Even taking that into account, the blowout was entirely one-sided.
The Gallery was inundated with users who had bet their fortunes on Ggobongi and suffered devastating bankruptcy. To make matters worse, Bbarmbo's silent glare was now exponentially more horrifying than before.
...Let's just head back for now.
Dragging the concussed Ggobongi behind me, I beat a hasty retreat to the shelter. After taking a devastating head-on charge from those golden antlers, it took quite a while for Ggobongi to even regain his equilibrium.
"Can you walk?"
"Ugh... strong... that bastard..."
The admission of 'strong' actually passed Ggobongi's lips, saturated with unadulterated bitterness. Even though he had been barred from utilizing mana, a defeat was still a defeat, and it clearly wounded his primate pride. Still, reaching the semifinals was a respectable consolation prize.
I am never entering him whenever that deer shows up.
I couldn't fathom any plausible method to overcome that monstrous stag. Releasing Ggobongi's Suppressor Collar was out of the question, which meant I would simply have to spectate from the sidelines from now on.
Lost in these thoughts, we made our way back toward the campsite.
"Huh?"
As we approached the perimeter of the shelter, something bizarre caught my attention. Between the towering canopies of the trees, an unmistakable flash of bright yellow peered through. What in the world was that? Had yet another eccentric beast wandered into our territory?
Full of wary curiosity, the moment I stepped fully into the shelter's clearing—
"……."
"……."
I froze. My eyes locked onto the newcomer. And just who was I staring at?
A paladin, perched atop the back of a towering giraffe.
The armor he wore was beyond filthy—battered, warped, and covered in grime—and his overall condition was disastrous. His complexion was ghastly and drained of color, bearing testament to the unfathomable trials he had endured to make it this far.
"……@#$"
Thud!
Muttering an incomprehensible string of gibberish, he slumped forward and plummeted straight off the giraffe's back. Because he had fallen from such a staggering height, the impact of his heavy armor crashing into the dirt rang loudly in my ears.
Startled out of my wits, I sprinted over. I was overjoyed to finally encounter another human, but I had zero interest in disposing of a fresh corpse.
"H-Hey, are you alright?! Snap out of it!"
"$%@#%"
I couldn't understand a single syllable of his language. Just as a wave of helpless frustration began to mount—
Grummmbbllleeee!
A thunderous, earth-shaking rumble erupted from the paladin's stomach. The sound was so vividly clear and intense that my jaw dropped into a deadpan grimace. Amidst the cavernous grumbling of his belly, the paladin managed to crack his eyes open by a hairsbreadth and whispered hoarsely.
"$%#%"
I had no idea what language he was speaking, but the desperate meaning in his eyes was unmistakable:
I'm starving.