Golden Poison Frog (2)

Falling asleep unprotected in the wild was, by definition, a terrible idea.

Just yesterday, I had nearly been mauled to death in my sleep by a pack of Mad Dogs. But the moment a person stays up all night, their physical capabilities plummet off a cliff. If sleep is inevitable, the only logical choice is to prepare as many defenses as humanly possible. That was precisely why I had spent a small fortune on high-grade snake and bug repellent.

I had sealed the cave entrance with a barricade of fallen logs and hefty boulders, and I kept the Heavenly Demon's Sword right beside me just in case. Thanks to those precautions, I had managed to survive the night unscathed.

Whether it was the hard bedrock or the total absence of a pillow, every joint in my body screamed in protest. To make matters worse, one side of my mouth was genuinely numb and stiff, likely struck by the bitter dawn chill that condensed heavy dew along the cavern walls.

I quickly rekindled the fire using the faint embers buried in the ash. Warmth was non-negotiable right now. If I hadn't used the clothes gifted by Princess Chaeng-gu as an impromptu blanket, I might have frozen stiff in my sleep.

Even taking that into account, why is it this cold? Did it rain before sunrise?

On the night the Mad Dog bit me, the air had never been this piercing. Once I had thawed my stiffened limbs by the crackling flame, I crept toward the cave entrance to check outside. Sure enough, a torrential downpour had swept through during the early morning hours. A shroud of thick, milky fog now clung to the trees, reducing visibility to almost nothing.

Just because of a little rain, the temperature drops like a rock?

Shivering violently, I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠scrambled back into the cavern. The cold bit so deep that I finally pulled on the athletic jersey Princess Chaeng-gu had sent me. The insulation was astounding; warmth flooded through my chest the moment the fabric settled against my skin.

My plan was set: stay huddled inside until the mist burned off, then make my move to capture the golden frog.

Let's see... six in the morning. I woke up too early.

In the forest, the sun dipped fast, naturally forcing an early bedtime. Fortunately, the Gallery's timestamped interface kept me from losing all grasp of time. I decided to make a breakfast out of an Inedia Pill and wait until the weather cleared.

Might as well practice the lotus position until then.

My aching muscles were mainly suffering from stiffness; some light stretching should loosen them up. After a series of limbering bends, I grunted and hauled my legs into a cross-legged meditative posture. Amazingly, it went far smoother than the day before. Yesterday, attempting this posture felt like my hip joints were being wrenched from their sockets, but today it was nothing more than a dull ache.

Not that I'm complaining.

Even more bewildering, underneath the lingering stiffness, an unusual surge of vigor hummed through my veins. Could it be the Inedia Pill from the Heavenly Demon? She did mention it was synthesized from rare medicinal herbs, so that was well within the realm of possibility.

Grumbleeee!

"Ah, crap."

That miraculous vigor came with an unfortunate side effect: violent, frequent bowel distress. Liquid cramps twisted my gut, turning every trip to the rear of the cave into an ordeal. Thank God Passing Dwarf had thrown in a roll of toilet paper, or I would have faced a truly humiliating crisis out here. I buried everything deep to prevent any scent from wafting out and attracting predators. Once I had some free time, building a proper latrine was definitely on the docket.

Time to get ready.

I gathered my gear for the golden frog expedition: the heavy customized crossbow, the Heavenly Demon's Sword, and the radiant Golden Shield gifted by Praise the Sun. Could one man carry all that at once? Absolutely. I had spent part of the morning stripping tough fibrous bark from nearby branches to weave a set of makeshift ropes.

It's crude, but surprisingly sturdy.

It didn't need to look pretty. The shield strapped securely to my back, and the sword hung snugly at my waist. The crossbow was far too massive to holster, so I carried it in both hands. With the vial of antidote tucked into my pocket, I was as prepared for disaster as I could possibly be.

Rule number one: block everything with the shield.

Before heading out, I opened the interface to write a quick update. In the event this hunt became my final hour on earth, at least there would be a record of it.

That last commenter raised a fair point. Even if I bagged the golden frog, would Allfather actually pay twenty thousand gold? But in the end, it didn't really matter. If I wanted clean, drinkable water, that frog had to be eliminated regardless. If he paid up, fantastic; if he scammed me and bolted, I would simply cut ties forever.

Or I could just treat him as my hazardous waste disposal.

A creature that poisonous was bound to be as toxic and volatile as a blowfish. One clumsy cut and I'd be dead. Rather than risking death to cook it, I'd sooner roast crickets over the fire. Leaving its rotting corpse lying around was equally dangerous, as it might poison the soil or ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wash right back into the stream. Offloading the toxic biohazard onto Allfather was a win-win scenario.

Survival first, everything else second.

After skimming through the replies, I carefully dismantled part of the barricade and stepped out into the open. The morning mist had thinned out considerably, and the sun sat warm above the canopy. Since wild beasts could be prowling nearby at this hour, I advanced one cautious step at a time.

If I ever get some downtime, I really need to erect a perimeter palisade.

Simply jamming the mouth of the cavern wasn't enough. If an Owlbear came along and pulverized the barricade in a single swipe, I was finished. My only defensive advantage lay in funneling threats through the narrow bottleneck of the cave tunnel; by the time I heard the barricade splintering, it would already be too late. Gathering fallen logs to raise a defensive perimeter fence was essential. It would consume a massive amount of time, but safety had no price tag.

Which means I'll need an axe and a sturdy utility knife, not just a sword.

Now that I had committed to establishing this cave as my permanent homestead, the list of necessary tools had grown exponentially. Thankfully, purchasing gear through the Gallery was effortless—provided one had the coin. If I collected the twenty thousand gold bounty today, I could buy every piece of hardware I needed.

As for food... I'll have to hunt my own as much as possible.

The auction house fees were so exorbitant that ordering takeout was an absolute luxury. On top of that, food safety on the forum was a massive gamble. Unless someone was delivering fresh pizza and fried chicken, there was nothing appetizing on offer anyway. Buying raw culinary ingredients seemed like an alternative, but barely anyone posted them; the platform fees were so brutal that listing basic produce wasn't worth the trouble. Even when raw items did appear, their expiration dates looked downright hazardous.

Except for salt. Salt is an absolute must.

No matter the cost, salt was mandatory. It was indispensable to human biological survival. As the ancient saying went: One ounce of salt is worth one ounce of gold. Back on Earth, everything was pre-seasoned and fortified, but not here. Judging by the forum's general culture, most of these worlds hovered between medieval and early-modern periods, making pure salt extraordinarily rare and precious.

Whoosh, gurgle—

Lost in thought over my homesteading checklist, I found myself standing before the creek. Perhaps swollen by the dawn rain, the current surged noticeably faster than yesterday. Even so, the water was as pristine as melted glass, revealing the pebbled riverbed below.

Now... how the hell do I bait this thing out?

Standing on the bank, I realized I had no concrete method to lure the amphibian to the surface, and waiting around indefinitely wasn't an option. Was I supposed to dangle my arm in the water like yesterday? If I did that, the entire purpose of bringing a ranged crossbow went out the window. I had to kill it before it ever registered my presence. With a neurotoxic predator, caution was everything.

SPLASH!

A violent eruption of water shattered the quiet. I whipped my gaze toward the source.

A dazzling, puppy-sized golden shape soared high into the air. Clamped in its gaping jaws was a writhing fish roughly the size of a river salmon. With an authoritative splash, the glittering golden frog touched down squarely atop a mossy boulder jutting out of the stream. The fish's tail flapped frantically against its snout—it had caught its prey only seconds ago.

Talk about luck.

Allfather had been right: the creature hunted actively in the morning. Crouching behind a dense thicket, I slowly raised the crossbow and settled the iron sights onto the target. I only had one shot. If I missed, there was no telling when another chance would present itself.

Breathing steady, muscles coiled, I aligned the crosshairs. The distance was greater than my target practice yesterday, but this was a masterwork weapon customized by a genuine dwarven artisan. As long as my aim was true, the bolt would hit its mark. Besides, with the frog practically the size of a medium dog, it was hard to miss.

"Croak."

"..."

The moment the creature gulped down the last of its meal, I held my breath.

TWANG!

I squeezed the trigger.

The heavy, barbed harpoon bolt tore through the air with a vicious whistle, trailing a braided tether in its wake. There was a tiny shudder in the recoil, but the projectile flew true, shrieking toward its mark.

THWACK! SPLOOSH!

The barbed bolt struck dead center. The kinetic force blasted the golden frog straight off the boulder, plunging it deep into the roiling current.

"Yes...! Whoa, whoa!"

My cheer cut short as the crossbow was violently wrenched forward, nearly dragged out of my grip. Whether spurred by lingering vitality or caught in the rushing current, the thrashing beast fought with monstrous leverage.

Instantly, the hunt devolved into an aggressive tug-of-war. Lowering the crossbow frame, I grabbed the braided tether directly and hauled backward with all my weight. If I hadn't been wearing Passing Dwarf's reinforced leather gloves, the friction would have peeled the flesh right off my palms.

"Hrrrghhh!"

Gritting my teeth, I heaved back on the line. After a few desperate seconds of pulling against the current, the golden mass finally breached the surface and landed with a heavy, wet thud upon the muddy bank.

The moment the frog was grounded, I collapsed back onto my knees and clutched my burning hands. The ache went bone-deep.

Ugh. Thank God, no bleeding.

Pulling off the gloves, I found deep, livid pressure grooves indented across my skin, but no lacerations. I kneaded my aching palms for a moment before creeping toward the motionless amphibian, gently reeling in the slack.

The barbed iron harpoon was impaled clean through its thorax. A pale, oversized tongue hung slack from its maw alongside the half-digested tail of the salmon. It didn't so much as twitch. It was definitively dead.

"Hehehe."

This overgrown toad was worth twenty thousand gold. A sinister grin crept across my face. In Earth currency, twenty thousand gold translated to a staggering two hundred million won. No matter how greedy the auction house fees were, twenty thousand gold would buy me an unbelievable amount of survival supplies.

Even so, I kept my distance. Gloves or not, one brush with that skin could spell doom.

"Croak."

"...Huh?"

What was that? Is it still breathing? I tilted my head, eyes narrowing at the corpse. But a second glance confirmed that the frog was stiff as a board, tongue sprawling in the dirt. More importantly, the croak hadn't come from this direction.

If it didn't come from this one...

A cold dread washed over me. I slowly turned my gaze back toward the creek.

"Croak, croak, croak."

"Croak. Croak."

"Croak."

Perched upon the mossy boulders and river stones, half a dozen identical golden shapes stared back at me.

While the alpha I had bagged was the size of a hound, these were roughly the size of fat bullfrogs. But their numbers were terrifying. It was an entire family pack.

...Let's snap a picture first.

Even as I cautiously backpedaled, my fingers instinctively triggered the Gallery's capture interface. It wasn't just community addiction; I genuinely wanted to see how Allfather would react to this revelation. Would he pay twenty thousand gold for each of these as well? Or would they go at a discount? More pressingly, how was I supposed to get my drinking water now? I was already desperate for a bath, and now the entire creek was an amphibious minefield.

"HISS!"

"SKREEE!"

The frogs snapped their heads backward in unison—the universal biological telegraph for a projectile attack.

One was manageable, but dodging a volley from an entire flock was impossible. In a panic, I whipped the Golden Shield off my back and planted it squarely before my chest.

Ptooo!

Pfft!

Splat!

Golden jets of venom slammed into the metallic face with the force of thrown stones. Keeping the shield angled forward, I sprinted backward as fast as my legs could carry me, absorbing impact after impact. Miraculously, the shield didn't dissolve or smoke; either the venom was a purely neural toxin rather than an acid, or the gold-plated armor was absurdly durable. I'd have to make sure to send Praise the Sun a formal letter of gratitude later.

Right now, reaching the sanctuary of the cave was the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠only priority.

What a complete shitshow.

I barely made it back inside the cavern, collapsing against the stone wall with a ragged exhale. One crisis after another. Still, the expedition wasn't a total wash. I had secured what appeared to be the alpha of the pack.

Walking away with twenty thousand gold was more than enough compensation. The freshwater problem would just have to be resolved step by step.

Oh, he was going to adore it. Anticipating this exact exchange was why I had snapped the shot before retreating.

Opening the Gallery's gallery upload tool, I selected the image of the golden amphibian clan gathered peacefully upon the rocks and hit upload.

As expected, there wasn't a single sane person in this entire forum.