The Country Bumpkins Visit Laling (2)
By the time the two visitors and their escorts had finished marveling at the stagecoach, been stunned once more by the sheer size of the massive draft horses pulling it, and finally surrendered to the luxurious comfort created by its leaf springs and dandelion rubber, they had already arrived at the administrative office of Laling County Magistrate Liu Ziahui.
“I’m not even surprised anymore,” I muttered.
“Right… In all my years, I never thought I’d live to see foreigners from distant lands brawling right here in the Central Plains.”
People often mistakenly believe that East and West had no contact during this era, but as I’ve said before, the Silk Road had been in use for a very long time even by this period, and it had already been over a century since Roman merchants first sailed the sea routes to reach the Han Empire. Naturally, any politician or warlord worth their salt knew at least a few foreign merchants. Still, witnessing two of those foreigners grabbing each other by the collar and trading blows was a once-in-a-lifetime spectacle.
I had no idea what they were saying or what exactly they were fighting about, but a good brawl is always entertaining, and when the combatants are exotic foreigners you’ve never seen before, the entertainment value only increases.
“Care for some fried rice cakes?”
“Fried rice cakes?”
“It’s rice that’s been fried, so we call it fried rice cakes. Perfect for snacking on while you enjoy the show.”
As soon as the fight broke out, the Yan merchant Lee I-ja pulled snacks from his pack and began selling them to the gathered spectators. Not to be outdone, merchants from various other countries followed suit, turning the front of the county magistrate’s office into an impromptu marketplace.
It was a bizarre scene, yet the locals didn’t seem to find it strange at all. The magistrate continued reading official reports without batting an eye at the chaos, while the onlookers stuffed snacks from every corner of the known world into their mouths and watched the two men argue.
Though they were grabbing each other’s collars and shouting in their native tongues, neither of them actually threw a punch or drew a weapon. After all, the best fights are the ones that go absolutely nowhere, and watching merchants—people whose very name sounds like “thief” in the local tongue—yelling “you son of a bitch” and “you bastard” while clutching each other’s clothes was a rare and marvelous sight in this era.
“Alright! I’m betting one gold coin on the Uruk merchant winning!”
“Nonsense! Don’t you know how tough the Parthian warriors are?! Fine by me—I’ll happily take your easy money. Two gold coins on the Parthian merchant!”
“Puhaha! How can you call him a warrior when he can’t even draw his sword? I’m putting one gold coin on the Uruk merchant too!”
“…This is getting ridiculous. Excuse me, brother, is it really alright to run a gambling ring right in front of the magistrate? Won’t you get in trouble?”
The sight of open betting right before the magistrate’s eyes was something that would have been utterly unimaginable back in Jingzhou. The local constables simply stood there watching the merchants with blank expressions, while the only one showing any vigilance was the mounted sergeant keeping an eye on the surroundings in case any real trouble broke out.
“Well… as long as the merchants have received prior permission and pay the proper fees, there’s no real problem. Of course, if they set up proper stalls inside the empty lot over there, she’d come down on them hard… but our magistrate here is quite an enlightened person. Or should I say, she knows exactly how to make money? It only makes sense—she’s the one who turned this backwater fishing port into what it is today in just a single year.”
The magistrate silently reading the reports turned out to be a surprisingly young woman. Liu Ziahui of Zhongshan County in Ji Province. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties, with lustrous black hair neatly braided and fastened with a hairpin. Her slightly bright chestnut-colored eyes held the profound spirit of an ancient pine, yet the heavy dark circles beneath them gave her a distinctly exhausted appearance.
“Mohandas of Uruk and Godarz of Parthia, the verdict has been reached. Cease your private quarrel at once.”
She had once been a loyal subordinate of Han Fu, the former Governor of Ji Province. When Yuan Shao tried to lure Han Fu’s men into handing the province over to him, she had thrown down her official seal and returned to her hometown. It wasn’t that she possessed some extraordinary sense of righteousness; she had simply done the math and bet that the anti-Dong Zhuo coalition would never make it past Hulao Pass. Having won that gamble, she had successfully earned the reputation of an incorruptible official.
After perfecting her image as a clean-stream scholar, she had risen with meteoric speed to the position of Laling County Magistrate, thanks to Gongsun Zan’s habit of splitting counties into ever-smaller administrative units. She was now known as the Iron Lady who had transformed the dying port of Laling into a thriving international trade hub and single-handedly revived the economy of Ji Province.
“Mohandas, no matter how much you claim it was because of the rumor that Godarz had died, stealing another man’s woman is clearly a violation of the law and contrary to all reason. I do not know the laws of your country, but the laws of Han strictly prohibit adultery. Since you conduct business on Han soil, it is only proper that you obey Han law. I will revoke your trading permit and expel you from Han territory. That concludes this trial.”
“Your Honor! This is too harsh!”
“Silence! Adultery is a grave sin! Next! Xianbei stagecoach driver Jeok Min-hyeok and Laling farmer Lee Eung! Step forward and present your dispute!”
“She doesn’t even give anyone time to breathe. Is it always like this?”
“It’s not usually this bad, but… well, it looks like we’ve shown up on a particularly busy day.”
The line of people waiting for the magistrate’s judgment seemed endless. In the end, the two visitors didn’t get to meet her until the sun had already set. Taking some small comfort in the fact that they were scheduled to be her first guests the following morning, they returned to their lodgings at the Laling harbor.
---
Laling was the largest trade port in East Asia during this era. Thanks to its unique culture that paid little attention to religion, countless minority faiths from across the world had gathered here, turning the city into a complete madhouse.
Of course, the fusion of cultures and religions from every corner of the globe had produced architecture that created spectacles unseen anywhere else on Earth. Yet even two thousand years later, religion remained a frequent source of conflict. In this age, where philosophy and theology had not yet been separated, religious disputes broke out almost daily.
Merely mediating the merchants’ endless fights over profit was exhausting enough, but now every kind of religious zealot had shown up, arguing about whose god was greater, whose god was the one true creator, and whose faith was therefore superior. On days like today, when even love-triangle scandals erupted, it was common for the magistrate to be unable to finish her designated workload on time.
“Dong-sik, what happened with my resignation letter?”
“Well… it was rejected. They said there is no one more suitable than you, Magistrate.”
“Aaaargh! That damn Gongsun Zan! I should have quit when Lord Han Fu stepped down! What the hell is so great about his money?!”
“Eek! Magistrate, please be careful! If His Grace hears you, there will be consequences! His ears reach the heavens, so you must always watch your words!”
“Gongsun Zan isn’t some Taoist immortal! And if he was going to have my head just for complaining, he would have approved my resignation already! Hey! If you’re listening, at least find me a husband, you rotten bastard!”
She had once served under former Governor Han Fu. When Han Fu yielded his position to Gongsun Zan, she had chosen not to follow Yuan Shao or Cao Cao, but instead remained under Gongsun Zan’s command along with her former superior. When she was first assigned to Laling County, the future had looked bleak because so many young people had crossed the Yellow Sea to Liaodong. But as she transformed Laling from a simple fishing harbor into a major trade port, selling salt from Liaodong, silk from Yizhou, and fine ceramics to Western merchants, she had begun to enjoy the thrill of explosive development.
Unfortunately, reality was not a simulation game. The administrative demands of rapidly growing Laling County were skyrocketing, and at some point the stress of the workload had completely overtaken the joy of development.
Since she couldn’t understand what they were saying, she had no idea why they were fighting. Even when she finally managed to figure it out, the arguments involved Neptune this, Uranus that, or Ahura Mazda—strange foreign deities that left a Confucian scholar like her completely drained just trying to mediate.
She had submitted reports requesting more personnel, but filling positions in a place that was “still in the process of returning to order” was never easy. With the founding of the State of Yan, the explosive increase in administrative needs had yet to be fully met. If Yuan Shao had taken control of Yan’s territory, he could have filled the ranks using his vast network of Clean Stream faction connections. But Gongsun Zan’s network, aside from the late Yuan Shao and Cao Cao, consisted mostly of the elderly Lu Zhi and Liu Bei’s group. Intellectuals capable of governing counties and prefectures were always in short supply.
Naturally, her workload had long since exceeded her administrative capacity. As foreign merchants flooded in after hearing rumors about Laling harbor, she was so buried in work that she had no time to even consider marriage proposals. The resignation letters she sent every day showed no sign of being accepted.
Of course, things would surely improve in a few years… but by then, the image of her as a spinster who had completely missed her marriageable years was already painfully clear.
“I’m already twenty-five years old! If I don’t get married soon, I’ll be a confirmed old maid! If I can’t get married, it’s not like he’s going to take me himself! Are you married, you bastard?!”
Though the night was late, she still could not go to bed if she wanted to finish tomorrow’s work as quickly as possible.
“Now what is this… a marriage proposal? From the King of Bohai? Ugh… even that little queen is getting married, but I’m still stuck here as a spinster… Damn it all. Won’t some handsome man just fall from the sky? I know I’d treat him well…”
The dark circles under her eyes grew even deeper, like natural smoky eyeshadow.