The Turmoil of the Ten Eunuchs (1)
The news that Dong Zhuo had instigated the assassination of He Jin sent a ripple of disbelief through the court. The moment the captured assassin’s lips named the true culprit, the single thought that flashed through every mind was the same: Why?
Why Dong Zhuo, of all people? He was neither a pawn of the eunuch faction nor an ally of Wang Yun and the Clean Stream scholars who had begun clashing with the court. He had no ties to the remnants of the Yellow Turbans. After Liu Bian ascended the throne, Dong Zhuo had immediately returned to his stronghold in Liang Province and spent years guarding the empire’s northwestern frontier. His manner was as coarse and blunt as any man from those borderlands, yet he had maintained a workable relationship with He Jin. It was He Jin himself who had recommended Dong Zhuo for the post of Inspector of Liang Province after the Yellow Turban Rebellion, when the failed encirclement campaign left the general with few merits to his name. Since then there had been no open hostility between them.
If it had been simple treason, there had been far better opportunities. In the deepening rift between the Clean Stream and Dirty Stream factions, a powerful warlord like Dong Zhuo was the safest investment—someone both sides would court. With the late Emperor’s final words still fresh, simply staying neutral would have widened his influence, improved his reputation in Luoyang, and likely raised his official rank. In short, no one could see any reason for him to send assassins. The idea made no sense.
“General Dong, did you truly send killers after the Grand General?”
Because no one seriously suspected him, Dong Zhuo had entered Luoyang for questioning not in chains but dressed in fine silk, lounging comfortably while he was interrogated. The man questioning him was none other than He Jin himself, the intended victim, and a wine cup sat on the table between them. The atmosphere was less an interrogation of a criminal than a quiet warning: Watch yourself—rumors are circulating.
“Me?” Dong Zhuo rumbled.
“Enough. I already know the truth. Stay here a few days and rest before you leave. No one believes you’re the real culprit, but procedures must be followed. Sorry to drag our busy Inspector of Liang Province all the way here for nothing.”
“It’s no trouble. I’ll be more careful with my words and actions in the future.”
“By the way… General Dong, do you have any personal enemies?”
“Personal enemies…” Dong Zhuo scratched his chin. “That crazy bitch Hualian, the Xianbei chieftain, is the only one that comes to mind. How many grudges could a backwater boy from Liang Province possibly earn from people in Luoyang?”
“True enough. Here, drink. It’s a gift from the Inspector of Yi Province. Quite good.”
“This is an honor.”
The questioning ended in an almost friendly atmosphere. He Jin left the room with a flushed face. The small villa—complete with silk quilts, embroidered pillows, its own kitchen and dining hall—was far too luxurious to be called an interrogation chamber, but a building’s purpose is whatever its owner decides. Until a few days ago it had been a guest house; today it had simply been redesignated. The lock was on the inside of the door, clear proof that He Jin did not suspect Dong Zhuo in the slightest.
Everyone believed in Dong Zhuo’s innocence, and the final nail in that certainty was driven by Inspector of You Province Liu Yu.
“Your Majesty! I beg you to punish those who have spread these vicious rumors against General Dong!”
“Uncle—rather, Inspector Liu. The assassin himself named the culprit. How can you declare the man innocent before the interrogation has even properly begun?”
“Because this incident brings General Dong no benefit whatsoever! His connection to the Grand General began during the Yellow Turban Rebellion. Even when the eunuchs persuaded the late Emperor to create the Western Garden Army, he worked with his friend Pu Hong to shield the Grand General from slander! General Dong and the Grand General are in the same boat; they have no reason to stab each other in the back. This is clearly a plot by someone else who fears how powerful the Grand General’s faction has grown!”
“We beg Your Majesty to see the truth!”
The Dirty Stream faction, sensing He Jin’s wishes, loudly proclaimed Dong Zhuo’s innocence. Some among the Clean Stream faction, unwilling to oppose Liu Yu—a respected imperial relative known for his integrity—followed the tide. More than seventy percent of the officials gathered before the throne now demanded Dong Zhuo’s release.
The sole exception was Colonel of the Northern Army Yuan Shao.
“Your Majesty, the situation is indeed strange, but the assassin had no reason to lie. I believe we must investigate further.”
“Colonel Yuan, are you truly claiming that General Dong tried to have the Grand General murdered?”
“Not exactly. But I believe we must ask ourselves why the name of Dong Zhuo was chosen.”
“Why Dong Zhuo in particular… Continue.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I am well aware of the deep rift between the Clean Stream and Dirty Stream factions. However, General Dong belongs to neither. He is the hegemon of the northwest, a loyal subject of Han. He stands entirely apart from our petty conflicts.”
“Oh?”
“Yet because of this assassination attempt, General Dong—whether he wishes it or not—has become entangled in the central power struggle. At a time when the balance of power is shifting, I would like to hear Your Majesty’s wise opinion on which side would rejoice at gaining outside support.”
Yes. Dong Zhuo is a sharp blade. We already have plenty of good blades and have no need of him, but the Ten Eunuchs, whose power is beginning to tilt, might very much want to wield him once.
At present, the single strongest military force belonged to Dong Zhuo’s Liang Province army. The cavalry that had fought the Xianbei Empire for generations could not be described merely as “elite.” His subordinate generals were all hardened veterans who had grown up on the battlefield. If Dong Zhuo, furious at whoever had framed him, arrived in Luoyang at the head of that army, and if the young Emperor—who still lacked full confidence—hesitated even slightly to verify the slander, the resulting chaos would dwarf even the Yellow Turban Rebellion.
And Yuan Shao was absolutely certain that his own Clean Stream faction would never have used such a sloppy method.
“I beg Your Majesty to permit the interrogation of the Ten Eunuchs.”
“Hmm…”
The Grand General said the Ten Eunuchs are still necessary. That these parasites are required for the sake of imperial authority…
The conflict between royal and ministerial power, the necessity of tolerating corrupt officials to preserve the throne, the principle of divide and rule—there were many ways to explain the continued existence of the Ten Eunuchs. But Liu Bian was still a boy. He had never received proper education for the throne. Naturally he was swayed by the Clean Stream scholars, whose centuries of meticulous self-framing made them sound wise and pure, and by the words of Yuan Shao—the man famous throughout the empire for his filial piety, the loyal subject who had served two full three-year mourning periods and now controlled security in the capital.
“Your Majesty! This is slander!”
“Slander? We are simply trying to uncover who framed General Dong!”
“We beg Your Majesty to see reason!”
After the death of their leader Jian Shi, the eunuchs had declared they would concern themselves only with inner palace affairs and refrain from interfering in civil and military government. By rights, the Ten Eunuchs should have been forbidden from attending court. But this was the dying Han dynasty. The “peace of our era” that He Jin had once shouted about was already ancient history. Within days the eunuchs had returned to court under the pretext of assisting the Emperor, and now openly debated state affairs.
“Silence! We are well aware that assassins have been traded between your Clean Stream and Dirty Stream factions! We expected you to resolve your differences and devote yourselves to educating the people according to the way of the sages! Instead you covet one another’s lives and now dare to sully the name of our loyal subject Dong Zhongying! We shall personally interrogate every one of you! Imperial guards! Arrest everyone present!”
Though the throne’s actual power had weakened greatly, the current Emperor still wielded more authority than any ruler in recent memory. The old ministers who remembered the days when the eunuchs’ purge had been in full force shrank back. The Ten Eunuchs, who remembered the faces of countless officials who had died beneath their tongues, lowered their heads even deeper.
---
“Emperor against emperor… emperor against emperor… What the hell is that crazy woman babbling about in front of the children?!”
On the road back from the Mongol plains to You Province, Gongsun Zan rinsed his ears thoroughly with the last of the water from his canteen, performing a perfect “I heard no such vicious rumor” act before turning to his subordinates.
“We never heard any such bullshit. Clear?”
“Yes, sir!”
Listen carefully. If anyone suggests that the Colonel should become Emperor, he will deny it furiously. Until that day comes, we must appear as loyal subjects of Han.
Appear?
Yes. At least in front of others, please act accordingly. That day is not far off.
Everyone in Liaodong already knew. The merchants traveling the empire selling salt had told them how backward the supposedly magnificent Luoyang truly was. They had also heard how absurd it was that the fearsome King of the Xianbei treated their lord as an elder brother. The standardized iron weapons and tools Gongsun Zan had produced from his previous life’s knowledge were more reliable than anything in the Central Plains. The Yeongangno arbalests had already proven their worth during the Yellow Turban Rebellion.
Because their lord had been a soldier, soldiers were treated well. The elite professional army created with taxes squeezed from salt smugglers naturally gave their loyalty to their employer rather than to a distant country. The land of You Province had once been the territory of the ancient Yan kingdom, whose history the First Emperor of Qin had tried to erase out of fear. For a long time afterward it had belonged to the Gongsun clan, descendants of the Yellow Emperor. That the Mandate of Heaven had passed to this land was an undeniable fact.
We are the people of the Son of Heaven who inherited the Mandate.
Unfortunately, Gongsun Zan himself had no specialized knowledge of R&D facilities. He had simply thrown out vague orders—“research this, prove that”—without considering what “free academic activity” might produce in an era when theology and philosophy had not yet separated. As a result, the research institute analyzed his every word and deed and gave birth to new ideologies every single day.
Just as Emperor Yao passed his throne to Emperor Shun, just as the incompetent Qingyang clan yielded to the Daotang clan (Emperor Yao) and Daotang yielded to the Youyu clan (Emperor Shun), let us wait for the day when the Han dynasty, having lost the Mandate, yields its place to the Colonel. This is clearly destiny.
In truth, although Gongsun Zan followed the principles of Mohism, his thought was not purely Mohist. Mohism had been thoroughly crushed by the First Emperor, and the scholars’ philosophical roots remained Confucian. A bizarre hybrid ideology—Confucianism, Mohism, and modern democratic thought—impossible to arise naturally in this era, spread secretly from Liaodong to You Province. The soldiers of the Liaodong army and everyone around them eagerly awaited the day their commander would become Emperor.
It was a vicious rumor, but if the Han imperial family had governed properly in the first place, the Yellow Turban Rebellion would never have occurred. That rebellion had not foretold the fall of Han—it had simply announced to the world that the dynasty was already dead.
“First we stop at the Inspector’s office in You Province. If the Inspector isn’t there, go to the Prince of Bohai’s residence and tell His Highness that he doesn’t need to worry about the horse-riding barbarians. Understood?”
“Yes, sir!”
The Xianbei Queen acknowledged it too, right?
Seems that way. When we get back I need to tell Instructor Mun.
I heard that once the Inspector of You Province’s term ends, our Colonel will become the new Inspector. Is that true?
Obviously. He carries the blood of the Yellow Emperor. It would be strange for him to remain a mere provincial officer.
“What are you idiots doing, flirting? The one who’s supposed to be doing the shit work is Ja-yun, yet if you pull that crap in the army you’ll get your necks chopped first. Already forgotten?”
“N-no, sir!”
“The road is long. Move out.”
“Yes, sir!”
Though they walked the same path, everyone was thinking something different.
---
“Guo Sheng, why did you commission the assassin Sun Ying?”
“Because the Administrator of Luoping, Yuan Shigai, was gathering troops to plot against my uncle. As a mere eunuch, I had no choice if I wished to protect my family.”
“Administrator Yuan, do you agree with Guo Sheng’s statement?”
“Absolutely not! How could a loyal subject of Han like myself plot against the family of a mere eunuch? This is slander!”
“Yuan Shigai! Your plan has already been exposed through Chil-bok! How dare you try to twist deer into horses!”
“Guo Sheng! Do not casually use my given name! No matter how senior you may be, a mere eunuch cannot speak to an Administrator this way!”
“You bastard!”
“Enough! Administrator Yuan is correct. Guo Sheng, refrain from casual address and show proper respect! This is an imperial decree!”
“…As you command.”
Though the interrogation was supposedly meant to bridge the gap between the Clean Stream and Dirty Stream factions, everyone could see which way the Emperor’s heart leaned. The eunuchs were forced to defend why they had needed to hire assassins, while the Clean Stream scholars only had to explain away suspicions. Naturally the eunuchs had gathered evidence that the Clean Stream had also used assassins and sent it to the Emperor, but since the man in charge of Luoyang’s security was Yuan Shao—a Clean Stream member—their reports had a tendency to disappear en route. Even when a report miraculously reached the throne, perfect excuses were already prepared. In the end, those who fell beneath the executioner’s blade were always members of the Dirty Stream faction who had remained loyal to the Emperor.
“…The Grand General has abandoned us.”
“That can’t be. The Grand General is not that kind of man.”
“Guo Sheng, face reality. If the Grand General had not abandoned us, he would never have appointed that half-breed Yuan Shao as Colonel of the Northern Army.”
“Ugh…”
“It’s all right. Haven’t we survived the reigns of Emperor Huan and Emperor Ling? This time too, we will be the ones laughing at the very end.”
Though their limbs were being cut away in real time, they still had their teeth. Zhang Yang, leader of the Ten Eunuchs, spoke thus as he sent a message to Empress Dowager He.
“We only need to remove Yuan Shao. If the Colonel’s office would stop openly favoring the Clean Stream faction, even His Majesty will soon realize how hypocritical those bastards are.”
“Then the purge of the Danggu faction will begin again.”
“Of course it will.”
“Do we have a pretext?”
“We have a big one, don’t we? Dong Zhuo.”
“Ah, that’s right. We still had that card.”
“To be cut by the very blade one wields… A half-breed’s son really is a half-breed after all.”
“Puhaha! Who could argue?”