The Age of Heroes, Curtain Rises (1)
The Yellow Turban Rebellion had dragged countless heroes who had been hiding in the shadows up to the surface of the water. Cao Cao, who had only been a lowly county magistrate despite his powerful backers, distinguished himself as a Cavalry Commander and made his name known. Many other war heroes who could not shine during peaceful times—such as Yuan Shao, General of the Household of the Huben Regiment, and Dong Zhuo, General of the Left—also spread their names across the land.
Yet the one everyone unanimously called the greatest hero was none other than Gongsun Zan. As was typical, the tales of his military exploits, inflated as they passed from mouth to mouth, had now ballooned into absurd rumors that even the Hegemon-King of Western Chu, Xiang Yu, could never have achieved.
“Hahaha, Benchu! Did you hear the rumor? That guy who used to act like a civil official, the so-called Hegemon-King—he supposedly threw fire and blew off Zhang Jiao’s head!”
“Aman, do you actually believe that?”
“Believe it or not, isn’t it hilarious? How could a person throw flames and blow someone up? Hahaha! I’m dying of laughter. They’re calling him some scholarly butcher, the reincarnation of Chiyou the Heavenly King… the Lord of Fire! The Lord of Fire, they say!”
“Pfft… That’s true. While rumors among the common people can’t always be trusted, this one’s so ridiculous I’d believe it if someone called it slander instead.”
They were people who had met Gongsun Zan before. The Gongsun Zan from his days as a low-level clerk, the one who had visited the funeral rites with his teacher. The one who had still been living among the people he had once been responsible for. His body had certainly been larger than most generals, but his hands had been soft as if they had never held a weapon, and he had been a scholar so devoted to learning that he was recognized as a disciple of Lu Zhi.
Even before the Yellow Turban Rebellion, he had not been without fame, but most of it had been related to managing military supplies or training troops. He had never been known for leading armies on the front lines and defeating enemy commanders. Crucially, at that time, the only person who even knew of the existence of gunpowder was his teacher Lu Zhi alone. So the rumor that he had blown people apart was, like most such tales, taken as a metaphor for his brutality.
“Should we bring him in?”
“Hmm… Would that fellow even agree to serve under someone else?”
“What? You were planning to put him under you?”
“Hmm?”
“You should keep him as a friend, you fool. Like you and me.”
“Pfft… That was an option. A friend… a friend, huh…”
Not a bad idea. I heard he’s also from a concubine’s line… I might be able to use him.
As was typical when two men gathered for a meal, the wine cups soon began to flow. The smiles never left their faces, but between Yuan Shao’s narrowed eyes, his pupils darted ceaselessly.
The Governor of You Province will probably be recommended as Lord Liu Yu… Hmm… Then how far can that friend Gongsun Zan rise? No—how far can I help him rise?
The basics of handling people was to do what they liked. And since his teacher Lu Zhi had just returned to the court, paying him a visit didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.
“Aman, how about a game of baduk after so long?”
“Feeling confident?”
“I learned a new technique from Lord Lu Zhi.”
“I’m in.”
As was typical when men gathered, the conversation revolved entirely around alcohol, women, or entertainment. Occasionally gossip or talk of the political situation would arise, but most of it never strayed from those three topics. At least on the surface.
“The Administrator of Liaodong, Gongsun Zan, shall receive the Emperor’s command.”
After scattering the strangely resilient farmers throughout You and Ji provinces, writing petitions through Lu Zhi’s remaining connections in the Clean Stream faction asking for their leniency, and just as I was about to write a petition regarding my teacher as well, a visitor arrived.
“Yes.”
Information transmission in this era was so slow that a modern person could hardly imagine it. It was early winter by the time the eunuch carrying the Emperor’s decree finally reached the land of Liaodong. Thin beard, eyes as venomous as could be, and a belly so plump it was a wonder how he managed it in these hard times. The eunuch who had brought the imperial decree boasted a physique so portly it reminded me of a 21st-century American.
…Isn’t it always the people without health insurance who end up fatter? Does having health insurance actually make you lose weight? I don’t know. I’ll have to ask a doctor-ghost when I go to the afterlife.
“Ten thousand years, ten thousand years, ten thousand times ten thousand years.”
I bowed three times toward the imperial palace, then took small, quick steps to bow once more to the eunuch who had brought the decree…
This is fucking exhausting…
Etiquette probably existed in part to make the other party uncomfortable and thereby elevate one’s own dignity. Trying to observe every single point of imperial protocol from one to ten was quite the ordeal. But skipping a few just because I thought no one would notice might give them ammunition—they were already calling me the reincarnation of Chiyou the Heavenly King or the Lord of Fire Ragnarok—so I couldn’t ignore it either.
“Come to Luoyang to receive your reward for taking the head of the Yellow Turban leader, Zhang Jiao.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
An awkward silence stretched for several minutes before the eunuch finally spoke again.
“…It is finished, so the Administrator of Liaodong may raise his head.”
What the… that’s it? Shouldn’t there have been more flowery language before and after? They sent an actual imperial decree just to deliver those few words? Was the laziness of this proto-Wanli Emperor so strong that it even discarded imperial etiquette?
“There is much more that could be said before and after… but I have delivered only the important parts. Your body is still not fully recovered, so do not ruin your health by insisting on perfect etiquette.”
The eunuch, who possessed what had to be the most venomous face I had ever seen in either of my lives, smiled as kindly as that face possibly could.
What? Why is he being so nice?
“…Understood.”
“Winter is coming soon, so it will be fine to come up after next year’s Beginning of Spring. If you wish to have your merits recognized sooner, you may come earlier.”
And with that, he left. Really. No more, no less—just those few words and he was gone.
…What the hell?
It was true that the land of Liaodong was treated as half-foreign territory, but it wasn’t exactly worthless empty land either. Although dry-field farming was still dominant, it was a place where wet-rice cultivation was possible if one tried.
“They must have been intimidated by your appearance, my husband.”
“Pardon?”
“The wounds you received in the previous battle have not fully healed. It is fortunate your handsome face was not scarred, but even a demon crawling up from the abyss would look gentler than you right now.”
Is that so?
It was an era without mirrors. Well… bronze and brass mirrors existed, but they were extremely expensive. In an age without diamond abrasives, polishing metal to the point where it could accurately reflect a human face was incredibly difficult. And even after such laborious polishing, brass and bronze rusted quickly. Moreover, if you lived anywhere near the Bohai Bay and felt the sea breeze, a mirror in this region would cost more than its weight in gold.
I held a fairly high rank and had also seized quite a bit of wealth while disciplining the horse bandits, so I could have bought one if I wanted… but, well… wasn’t it always like that? Men who weren’t particularly interested in grooming themselves didn’t feel inconvenienced by the lack of a mirror. I had bought a small hand mirror for Jinjeong, but I had almost never looked at my own face with it.
“It probably won’t be a big problem. Perhaps… hmm… yes. Both the Ten Eunuchs and the court officials may have decided there was no need to sharpen their blades against you.”
“The officials I understand, but the Ten Eunuchs?”
“During the incident with Lord Lu Zhi, you did not strongly oppose them, did you?”
No, that wasn’t it. My plan had been to settle accounts with them after I took Zhang Jiao’s head first. The final battle had been so brutal that I had been focused on recuperating and handling the aftermath; it wasn’t that I had forgotten everything like some spineless fool and simply gone about my own business.
“Teacher… Sigh… It’s not that I didn’t oppose them. I simply prioritized ending the chaos first.”
“Your tongue is as smooth as ever, you rascal.”
“Teacher?!”
Wait… why is my teacher here? Is this some kind of hidden camera prank? No… that trend died out a while ago, didn’t it? Or rather… is it still two thousand years away?
“Why are you making that face?”
“Weren’t you dismissed from office?”
“I was.”
“Then how did you…?”
“Hmm? Ah… I see. You’re misunderstanding something again.”
“Pardon?”
“Dismissal from office is not such a heavy punishment… In any case, we can simply return together when you go back. I have played enough; it is time to return to work.”
In this era, the disciplinary measure known as dismissal from office was not as heavy as a modern person might think. Hmm… how should I put it? It was closer to ‘Go cool your head for a while.’ Nine times out of ten, the person would be recalled to court within a few months. Those who did not return were usually the ones who had essentially said, ‘This place is dirty and exhausting, so I quit.’ It had been my own misunderstanding born from not yet understanding the limits of an era where permanent retirement could be achieved simply by separating a head from a body.
After all, when he had been teaching me, he had already been in a state of dismissal… Hmm… It seemed that ‘unpaid leave’ in this era was called dismissal from office. Or maybe not. I was still a fresh elite who had never received any disciplinary action.
“You worked hard. I heard it was you who killed Zhang Jiao?”
“Yes… I threw a Jincheonroe.”
“Well done. Thanks to your silence and the merits you achieved, those Ten Eunuchs bastards couldn’t find any fault to pick at. Hahaha! So, was this master’s mobile fortress useful?”
“It was astonishing. How… how did you make it?”
“You rascal! Are you really going to make this master explain it while standing here? This master is getting old. Let’s sit down first.”
The storehouse was well stocked, and this year’s horse bandits had been thoroughly beaten into submission, so there was nothing particularly urgent to do. I informed the staff that the Administrator of Liaodong, Gongsun, was taking leave, and returned home together with Jinjeong and my teacher.
Looking back, those were still days when life felt worth living.