Dungeon Practicum (5)
The next morning, the campfire had already burned itself out, its last embers dying beneath the pale shroud of dawn mist. We packed up our gear and set out for the next leg of our journey.
It was day two of the dungeon practicum. Having spent yesterday working off our energy slaughtering monsters, only one lesson remained for our group. Once that was done, the practicum would officially come to a close.
"So, Solis. What's with your face?"
"It's nothing, senpai. Don't worry about it."
"That's quite a lot of nothing, seeing as there's a lump the size of a mountain range on your cheek. Did you get smacked by a monster in your sleep?"
Mori's eyes were full of genuine concern. Which was fair enough — my face had swollen so badly it was barely recognizable. A sharp, stinging throb pulsed through it every so often, making me wince without meaning to.
I'd have to stop by the infirmary first thing when we got back to the Academy.
"Toma, Toma."
"What is it, Kael?"
"You know how we spent all that time teaching the Amethyst heiress yesterday? Well, apparently it paid off. The girl's glued to me like a tick. Won't let go for anything."
And sure enough, just as she said, Eva was clinging to the hem of Kael's clothing with both hands, stuck to her like glue. The complete opposite of yesterday.
Hidden behind Kael's back, Eva's eyes brimmed with contempt.
"Bad man."
She hurled her insults at me from behind Kael's back, and they landed squarely on my ears.
"Lowest of the low. Thug. Mean mister."
Honestly, it was barely harsh enough to qualify as verbal abuse. With a heart as pure as hers, that was about as vicious as she could get.
'If it were Chloe, she'd have laid into me from the first word.'
Truly, the protagonist. Kind, if you put it nicely; prime marks for a pushover, if you didn't.
"Something happen between you two yesterday?"
The situation had gotten strangely lively, and Mori leaned in to whisper by my ear.
Were they that curious? I could explain it, sure. It wasn't complicated.
"I got caught peeping on Eva while she was bathing and took a bit of a beating. Not from her, though — Mongle popped out of nowhere and went straight for my cheek."
"Mongle? Wait — are you okay?"
"Getting a face full of fist in exchange for seeing a woman naked? Honestly, that's a bargain. No regrets."
"That's not the point — I'm worried about your safety, you lunatic!"
My safety? Had I done something life-threatening?
"I'm afraid I don't follow."
"Eva Amethyst! The daughter of the head of the family that dotes on her like no other! If word of this gets out, you won't have enough lives to spare!"
"I know. If Petra Amethyst, the head of the house, finds out, she'll send her knights to kill me on the spot."
"And you did it anyway?"
"Yes."
I gave a calm nod. I didn't have a single regret in my life. There was a naked woman right in front of me, and I was supposed to look away? Whoever invented that rule could go take a flying leap.
Even the quintessential, tofu-spined harem protagonist — the kind who gives viewers an aneurysm with how infuriatingly dense he is — gets to see heroines naked through "accidental trips and falls" clichés. I wasn't about to do that. If I'm going to look, I'd rather die standing tall than groveling on the floor with my hands over my eyes. Besides, I knew perfectly well I wasn't going to die.
"Relax. Even if her family comes for my head with murder in their eyes, Eva will stop them."
Eva was a good kid. To an excessive degree, honestly. Her avoidance of other people didn't stem from hatred — she was simply terrified of them. She'd survived being kidnapped and nearly killed by a complete stranger, and yet her first concern was whether her actions might be inconveniencing the people around her.
She was a different breed entirely from your typical villainess-novel noble girl. If I had to name a counterpart, it would be a naive country girl.
"That girl is — and I'm only exaggerating a little here — the kind of person who would sincerely apologize to me and forgive me even if I violated her. So whether or not her family finds out is none of my concern."
"Wow. You are genuinely a piece of garbage."
"I was giving an example. Don't pile on like that — I didn't actually do anything, did I?"
I was innocent here. I'd simply presented an extreme hypothetical for the sake of clarity.
"Anyway, let's pick up the pace. I want to finish the last of the schedule and get the hell out of this dungeon."
"Oh ho, full of confidence, are we? Let's see if you can keep that attitude up where we're going."
Mori declared that this time, at least, she absolutely would not let me off easy.
The end of the dungeon practicum was an escape. This was already a cleared dungeon. Normally you'd have to either defeat the guardian or find a dimensional rift to get out — but an empty house with no master was a different story. In the name of preserving the world's balance, all we had to do was capture one of the enhanced monsters that dwelled in the dungeon in place of the guardian. Compared to a guardian, that was a drop in the bucket. Guardians were strong enough to beat down even this dungeon's former guardian, so in theory, the odds of an accident were effectively zero.
Still, difficult was difficult at a student's level — which was probably why Mori was talking like that.
"Hehe. I swear I'll wipe that arrogant look right off your face."
"Pardon my rudeness, but do I have some grudge against you that I don't know about?"
"No. You performed exactly the way a Purity Academy student should. Solid pass."
"Then why are you so desperate to devour me?"
"Your face just pisses me off."
This is the Guardian everyone in this world reveres? Isn't she just absolute garbage?
"Kidding! Kidding! I'm sorry, so wipe that look off your face."
"I know. I was playing along."
She'd pulled the exact same stunt on Chloe in the original story — there was no way I didn't know. I'd just been riding the mood and hamming it up a bit myself.
"Splendid work out there, Solis. I'm giving you the highest marks."
"I was under the impression this practicum didn't have a grading system. What's this about?"
"Grades out of my own heart. One hundred out of one hundred! When you graduate, I can get you a special recruitment onto my team. What do you say?"
"No, thank you."
Mori's offer. I cut it down in a single stroke.
It wouldn't matter which team I joined, because once my business here was done, I was going back to Earth. Three years from now, at graduation, the monster incursions — and the entire profession of Guardian — were fated to fade into history. Making promises I couldn't keep would just be poor manners.
"Uuu, did some other team grease your palm already?"
"I mean, with skills like his, the big guilds probably lined up offers out the door."
"I'm jealous."
Mori, oblivious to the real reason behind my refusal, sulked and fell into a gloom. The other two friends put their hands on her shoulders to comfort her.
And so we made our way forward, trading light conversation as we walked.
The deeper we went, the more the atmosphere changed. The brambles barring the path grew thicker and thicker. Even cut down and burned, they regrew fast enough to be visible to the naked eye, swallowing the road whole. Despite it being morning, the midday sun couldn't reach this place, and the forest sat in darkness like midnight. Everything reeked of menace, like we ought to turn on our heels and bolt at any moment.
But instead of retreating, we pushed forward, straight ahead. This was the deepest chamber of the dungeon — the place where its exit lay.
"Almost there, everyone. Stay sharp and keep up."
The playfulness had drained from Kael's voice. She reorganized our formation against ambushes with the practiced ease of a dungeon professional. It was a dependable back to follow.
But if we followed the original story, that back would soon be stained with blood and brought crashing to the ground.
'I really don't want to watch a woman get hurt in front of me.'
I supposed I'd drop a hint here — something obvious enough that they'd catch on.
"Um, Lady Mori?"
"What is it?"
"Maybe it's just my imagination, but... isn't the dungeon awfully quiet?"
"Huh? You're right."
Enhanced monsters were fiercely territorial. The moment an intruder set foot in the deepest chamber, the normal response was to warn them off — barking like dogs, hissing like cats, something. But this place was quiet to the point of absurdity. Had the monsters simply failed to notice our presence? Possible — but we had to consider the alternatives, too. Say, the master of this deepest chamber having changed.
"Something's off."
"The forest is silent. Too silent."
The Guardians, catching the intent behind my words, each muttered their own uneasy observation as wariness crept into their postures. Mori's expression hardened. She stopped mid-stride and drew the sword at her hip, taking up a fighting stance.
"I'll take point. Everyone stay quiet and follow me."
We pressed on, muffling our footsteps. Even when the thorns raked our skin and drew blood, not one of us opened our mouths.
Before long, we finally arrived at the dungeon's deepest chamber. What awaited us there was not an enhanced monster.
Krrack!
CRUNCH!
The sickening sound of flesh being torn spread through the silent forest. A colossal wolf with sapphire-blue claws — the monster that should have been guarding this dungeon's exit — lay cold and lifeless. And squatting atop its corpse was another monster entirely.
Krrsh!
A giant with gray skin. It had tossed its club — a log the size of its own body — off to the side, and was now tearing strips of meat from the wolf with its bare teeth.
"Th-that's—"
"That's a Gray Ogre! Why is the Guardian of the Gray Plains here?!"
The Guardians' faces drained of color. They trembled like mice before a cat, every trace of the dependable senpai attitude from moments ago gone without a trace.
Eva crept to my side and whispered in a voice so small that no one but me could hear it.
"Th-that monster... it's really different from the ones we fought, isn't it?"
"Different doesn't begin to cover it. That's the guardian of the Gray Plains — a high-difficulty zone that makes this bramble dungeon look like a playground. Even a senior-class Guardian couldn't promise a win against it."
"Th-then we're in serious trouble!"
Eva spiraled into a panic. The Guardians were just as terrified.
This was unfolding exactly as the original story had written it, and I found myself nodding. Yep. That's Academy Yuri Princess for you.
"Okay, change of plans. We fall back. Forget this place — we'll make for the dimensional rift...!"
Mori made the best call she could. She'd just opened her mouth to hurry us into cover when—
Grrruuugh!
Faster than she could speak, the creature's head snapped around toward us.
"UUUWWOOOOOHHH!"
A roar that could split eardrums shook the forest to its roots. The Ogre snatched up its fallen club and charged at us with thunderous footsteps that made the very earth quake.