Chapter 33: A Dish Made by a Chef (1)
Chapter 33: A Dish Made by a Chef (1)
There had never been so much as a spoonful of peace in Kaya’s childhood.
She did not have a father either. Her mother, Grace, had told her that her father had left home when she was still very young. Then, when Kaya was six years old, a man appeared beside Grace. Kaya could no longer remember all the details, only that his eyes had been strikingly deep and blue. Grace told her that he was her father. Since Grace’s eyes were brown while Kaya’s were blue, Kaya had not doubted for a moment that he truly was her father.
Of course, that trust brought her no reward. One day, the false father fought with Grace inside the house and smashed all the furniture. After that, he never appeared again. He had left, after leaving another life growing inside her mother’s womb.
Kaya could not remember all the details, but she did remember how sensitive and tormented Grace had been at the time. Perhaps Kaya’s existence had been what kept her mother working and enduring for her sake, but had Kaya alone not been enough? She could still remember the sight of Grace crying by herself in a dark room, her face buried in a pillow.
At some point, what soothed Grace was no longer tears, but alcohol. Fortunately, there had been no needles. Most of the time, she simply drank cheap beer until the alcohol put her to sleep.
Was it because of the drinking? Or was it merely the bad luck that seemed to follow Grace everywhere? The child she gave birth to after that agonising pregnancy—Kaya’s younger sister—was disabled. Cerebral palsy. Looking at a child who could not even move her own body as she wished, who could barely even make proper expressions, Kaya felt as though her entire world had been stained with filthy ink.
After coming home from elementary school, Kaya had to go to the market instead of returning straight home. It was not that she particularly hated doing so. Like many children born into unfortunate circumstances, she had been forced to mature early. They were poor, she had no particular skills, her mother did not even run a stall but merely cleaned the market, and her disabled sister would have no way of surviving if left alone. Reality was too harsh for Kaya to waste much time complaining about her life.
That did not mean she considered life a happy thing. She simply resigned herself to living properly and allowed herself to be dragged along by it. Her temper grew harsh, and so did her language. Whenever she saw the irritated faces of the merchants, or watched children her own age running around and playing, the awl lodged in her heart seemed to sharpen a little further. Eventually, that awl drove her to drop out of middle school.
“The only thing I can do properly is cook.” In front of the camera, Kaya Lotus spoke calmly.
Martin asked, “How did you start cooking?”
“I wanted to eat something delicious. Like I told you before, my family was poor. I used to bring home ingredients from the market that couldn’t be sold to customers and cook them. At first, the food tasted terrible. But fortunately, I had talent. I wanted to make it taste even a little better, so I ran around asking questions and figuring things out until I learned how to improve it. My mother and sister liked it.”
“You must have been happy.”
“Happy… Yeah, of course I was happy. But putting feelings like that aside, cooking was like a respirator for me. More precisely, eating something delicious was. Taking care of my sick sister, helping my mother, and dealing with this condition that made my body ache like an old person’s… then taking one bite of something delicious. Back then, I could honestly say that I thought that was the only reason I had to keep living.”
She spoke about it calmly, but the content itself was bleak. It could not even be dismissed as exaggeration. If someone had lived that kind of life from such a young age, perhaps it was only natural for them to think that way.
“I dropped out of middle school halfway through. My sister’s medicine was really expensive, and money was already tight because of that. Even if I stayed in school, I wouldn’t have been able to afford college anyway, so I decided I’d rather work.”
“…That must have been a difficult decision.”
“A difficult decision? I don’t know. The moment I dropped out, I actually felt free. School wasn’t somewhere I belonged anyway. Whenever I saw people acting miserable just because of puberty when they didn’t have any real problems at home, I wanted to rip their mouths open. You’ve seen Batman, right? The Joker’s mouth is cut open. Yeah, like that.”
Kaya hooked her fingers into the corners of her mouth and pulled them apart as she laughed. Martin laughed as well, but discreetly signalled behind his back. That part would have to be cut. Behaviour that extreme would not be received well by viewers.
Martin changed the subject. He had already gotten enough out of her past.
“Is there anyone here you’re close to?”
“No.” Kaya answered without even taking a moment to think.
Martin was caught off guard. He had not expected her to obediently name someone, but neither had he imagined she would reject the idea so bluntly.
“No, surely there are people you’re close to. Marco, Minjoon, Chloe. Aren’t you close with them?”
“No. I’m not.” Her answer was just as firm.
Martin gave an awkward laugh and continued, “Why not? These days you seem pretty close. You eat together and hang around together. That counts as being close.”
“Is the word ‘close’ really that light? At the very least, shouldn’t you know each other properly and trust each other completely before you can say you’re close?”
“Then would you say you’re in the process of becoming close?”
“That…” Kaya frowned as though something about the question bothered her. Her vivid lips remained tightly shut for a moment before opening again, but the words that came out were not what Martin had expected. “Let’s move on to another question.”
“…Is there some reason that makes it difficult to answer?”
Martin was experienced. Once he got hold of something, he was not the type to simply let it go. Kaya stared at him for a while, glaring outright. But a broadcasting producer was someone who had endured all kinds of things to reach that position. Martin’s own life had not been so easy that a teenager’s glare could intimidate him.
In the end, Kaya sighed and answered in a softer voice. “Fine. I’ll tell you. It’s because it’s embarrassing.”
“You’re at that age. Showing affection towards someone else can be—”
“No. That’s not it.” Kaya cut Martin off. Seeing his bewildered expression, she bit her lip before continuing. “The process of becoming close. I’ve gone through that stage with plenty of people. Eighteen years may sound short, but it isn’t really. I’ve met poisonous people and good people. I’ve gone through the process of getting closer to them. But not once did I actually become close to anyone. Even when we pretended we were close, in the end, they all left.”
Martin could not answer. He knew that for the sake of the programme, he should ask something more, but Kaya’s eyes looked unbearably sad. She resembled a little girl who had only just been forced to become an adult. Asking her to expose even more of her past felt cruel.
“Maybe it’s because they think my personality is awful, or maybe there are other reasons. Either way, the result is always the same. I’m not someone who gets close to people easily. So if I start saying that we’re a little close right now, or that we’re in the process of becoming close, it’ll probably just get ruined again.”
Neither Martin nor the writer beside him could say anything. Kaya smiled. It was the same provocative, confident smile she usually wore, but to Martin, it looked strangely empty.
“Now you understand why I said it was embarrassing, right?”
After the interview ended, Kaya slowly made her way towards the waiting room. She was feeling unusually sensitive after revealing even that small glimpse of her wounded side. In her current mood, anyone who so much as spoke to her the wrong way might end up being cursed from head to toe.
She stopped in front of the waiting-room door and muttered, “Calm down, Kaya Lotus. You came here to climb out of that swamp. You can do it. You’re strong. You…”
Her muttering stopped abruptly.
The door opened, and Jo Minjoon stepped out.
Had he heard her? No, the door had been closed. Surely it blocked at least that much sound.
Kaya glared at him. Jo Minjoon flinched under her stare and asked, “What?”
“…Nothing.”
Kaya replied weakly and walked into the waiting room. Jo Minjoon frowned slightly as he watched her back. He was worried about her, but he could not follow her. It was his turn for the interview.
As he walked towards the interview room, he noticed that the production staff were in an unusually sombre mood. The female writer was sniffling as she wiped away tears, and even the cameraman looked gloomier than usual.
Jo Minjoon sat down and asked Martin, “What kind of interview did you just do to make the atmosphere this depressing?”
“…Well, we heard a little about Kaya’s story. You know about her past, right?”
“Well, only what was broadcast.” Jo Minjoon shrugged.
Martin sighed. “Then it’s pretty much what you’re seeing now. We heard a little more about her past. If you have even a normal amount of sensitivity, it’s the kind of story that makes you cry.”
“Seeing how you’re perfectly fine, I guess you’re not very sensitive.”
“How could I not be? My tear ducts are just less generous than my sensitivity.”
Jo Minjoon gave a bitter smile and fell silent.
Martin smiled as well before asking, “Right, then. Are you confident about the next mission?”
“I’d have to know what the mission is before I could answer that. Honestly, I’m a little scared to say anything now. I never know when a few casual words will come back to hit me like last time.”
He was speaking indirectly, but he was obviously referring to the ending of the first episode, where his prediction that Kaya would win had been used so prominently. Martin made an awkward face and scratched his head.
Jo Minjoon looked at him. “You said you wanted me to win, so I thought that even if you couldn’t show it openly, you’d at least be cheering for me in your heart. Was that just lip service?”
“I personally am cheering for you. But I’m also a producer. If you hand me material that good for the broadcast, it would be rude not to use it.” Martin smiled as he spoke. He really was a shrewd man.
Jo Minjoon stared at him for a moment before laughing. “That’s fair. I understand.”
“Then let’s continue the interview. Minjoon, after the first episode aired, one viewer left a comment saying, ‘Is there no way to succeed through cooking in Korea? Why did he have to go all the way to the United States?’ What do you think about that?”
“I’m not sure. Personally, I think the first question is a little sensitive to answer. As for the second, it was because of my own selfishness and admiration. I watched previous seasons of Grand Chef, and I admired the programme. I started thinking that I wanted to stand here myself. It seemed like a good opportunity and a good stage.”
“Even so, coming all the way here for that reason isn’t exactly normal. As far as I know, you’re the only person who came here for something like that.”
Hearing Martin put it that way, Jo Minjoon realised that he really was an unusual case. Normally, even if someone chose cooking as a career, they would not come all the way to the United States just for this. Jo Minjoon thought the reason he had done so was probably a mixture of impatience and hunger for opportunity. He also had no desire to spend years doing nothing but cleaning in a kitchen. The reason itself was not particularly profound, but motivation did not have to be profound.
“I’d appreciate it if you thought of me as someone passionate.”
“Well, then let’s move on. What about what you said before? About Kaya winning.”
“You know there was more to what I said than that. It’s a little troublesome when the person who edited the footage is the one asking me this.”
“Oh? Was there more?” Martin put on an exaggeratedly surprised expression as he looked at Jo Minjoon.
Jo Minjoon sighed. “I’m going to win. I’m determined to.”
“Okay. Got it. Lately, you’ve been close with Chloe, Kaya, and Marco. You all seem to get along pretty well, but are you actually close?”
“I think we are. At least, that’s how I see it.”
“What made you become close?”
“I’m not sure. With Kaya, I think it started when we shared our dishes after the mission. Marco and I got closer because we were both from New York, and with Chloe, it happened during the team mission. But this isn’t exactly great material for television, is it?”
Martin smiled mischievously. “You’re right. Interviews are more interesting when they get personal. So, Minjoon, let’s talk about your scandal.”
“…Scandal?”
“We received a report from a certain Mr. A. Apparently, after you finished cooking, you dumped the washing-up on someone else… Is that true?”
Jo Minjoon forced out a laugh.
“I have no comment.”