Adults All Want to Become Kids
The incident started the moment I got to work.
"Ma... no, Do-jin. What did you just say?"
"I need you to handle some field investigation on that ghost story."
·····What the hell did this guy eat wrong? Or did he find out I was flirting with Leah this morning and now he's jealous or something?
To me!! The only non-combatant and powerless guy here!! What did you just say?!
"Of course, you won't be going alone, but you still have to go."
"Hahaha, this is surprising? I didn't know you could even joke, old man."
"Not a joke."
"For real?"
Stern. Dignified. The moment I saw his face, like he'd hammered seriousness into place, I knew it.
This wasn't a prank!
'Is this karma for ditching Luna to fool around with Leah?'
Do I have to drop my fourth resignation joke?——I was thinking that when someone tugged at my collar from behind.
"What?"
I turned my head slightly and looked down. There stood a girl with beautiful blonde hair and shining blue eyes, gazing up at me quietly.
A small but spirited frame, blonde hair sparkling like sunlight, blue eyes like ice.
Victoria Crawford, Britain's first female knight and master of the Eden Guild.
She stared at me with slightly teary eyes.
"Old man, why is she here again?"
"Haa, you're probably the only one who talks to another guild's master like that."
The old man let out a short sigh and started explaining the situation.
The gist was this.
Recently, around Seoul, various toys including toy soldiers had been appearing and disappearing repeatedly.
They suspected it was a ghost story, but since there were no real damages, the response level was low.
And Eden had taken the case, but unfortunately, Elissa was away for a bit.
"You know this already, but Master Victoria is in 'special danger' if she goes out alone."
I knew it well, that special reason. Not only did she gradually become younger when using a lot of power, but she even struggled to control her body?
It sounded like a real pain of a curse, but what did that have to do with me investigating a ghost story?
"I get it, but why do I have to go instead of Elissa? There must be tons of people to babysit Victoria."
"Ah, that's——"
As the old man tried to explain further, Victoria suddenly cut in.
"I'll explain from here."
"Fine, why do I have to babysit the kid?"
Hearing "kid," Victoria immediately flailed her arms at me.
"A-again, calling me a kid...! R-rude jerk...!!"
"Ah, sorry sorry. Calm down and explain first."
Maybe because she's a knight, she reacts instantly to hits on her pride.
The girl, still not fully over her anger, pouted her lips slightly and spoke.
"If my power drains during the investigation, I need someone to carry me. So I picked you for that role."
"No, why me? Don't you have anyone else to carry you?"
"Th-that's···."
Honestly, this was getting annoying. Ghost story investigations were usually handled by awakener teams, and I'd contracted for admin work only, not fieldwork.
And I had a date with Leah this morning! Who breaks a promise not even an hour later?!
"No matter how I think about it, there's no reason I have to go. Stop hesitating and just spit it out."
Victoria fidgeted with her hands, hesitated, then spoke again.
"You know... do you remember that day you stayed by my side?"
"That day?"
"When I got lost in the Dawn's Light building and asked you to carry me."
"Oh, the day you bawled your eyes out?"
"Th-that...!!"
A few months ago, the day I negotiated a 30-day long vacation for my honeymoon with Luna.
I did run into Victoria on the way back then.
But why bring that up now?
With a hint of suspicion rising, I asked her again.
"Anyway, what about it?"
"You didn't leave my side and even patted me... So... I needed you to come with me instead of Elissa."
Victoria bit her lip slightly and continued.
"Normal people... avoid me because of the 'curse'... And I don't like being carried by people like that either···."
The curse from Victoria's ghost story.
People treated her like a contagious patient, vaguely fearing the curse might spread to them, making it hard to approach her.
"You knew about my condition... but you came close without hesitation. I was grateful···."
—Sniff!
Tears gathered in her clear, transparent blue eyes.
She looked ready to burst into sobs at the slightest touch, but she desperately held back because Do-jin was there.
'Haa, I'm such a sucker for a girl's tears.'
I subtly blocked the old man's view with my body so he wouldn't see Victoria crying.
But work is work. Just because she shed a tear didn't mean I'd go along.
I wasn't that easy a guy!
I understood why she'd chosen me, but that didn't mean I had to go.
"Ahem, Victoria. I get your situation, but—"
I cleared my throat, trying to reject her as gently as possible.
—Rustle.
Then, suddenly, Victoria pulled a small note from her pocket and handed it to me.
"Oh, and Elissa said to show this to you. I don't know what it is, but she said you'd do the favor if you saw it···?"
"A note?"
The moment I unfolded Elissa's note, I had no choice but to grant Victoria's request.
To. Si-hyun
[Si-hyun, remember that day you buried your face in my chest and groped me with your hands?]
[I was so sad, you know? Ravaging an unmarried virgin's breasts like that? Sob sob T_T]
[I'll forgive you for that, so please take good care of my sister~♡]
[If you don't... I'll spread rumors about how you groped my breasts?]
[And rumors get exaggerated, so maybe it'll turn into how you stole my precious 'first time'~? Hehe♡]
—Crumple!
I folded the note and shoved it into my pants pocket right after reading it.
·····I never expected Elissa to pull something like blackmail.
I was already unofficially labeled Dawn's Light's official lolicon(?), and if rumors spread that I'd taken Elissa's 'first time'···?
'Ga-eun might kill me. Maybe even Emilia...!'
I have to block the yandere ending!!
Nice boat is absolutely not an option!!
I immediately grabbed Victoria's hand and said quietly.
"Victoria, let's do great on this ghost story investigation today! Hahaha···!"
"Y-yeah···? Uwung···!"
That's why men have to manage their mouths, hands, and finally their lower parts well··· Damn it.
A few hours later.
"Hmm··· Nothing suspicious here. Let's move to the next spot."
"Victoria, need a carry this time too?"
"I'm good now. Carry me when my power runs out at the end of the investigation. Can't tire you out early."
"You're not that heavy anyway."
I had no choice but to patrol the Han River area with Victoria, investigating the mysterious ghost story.
With an urgently added detection agent, total of three people.
And the one handling detection was—
"Shin oppa··· Carry me later too···?"
"Even if I'm strong, carrying two girls at once might be tough, right?"
Emilia, the beautiful girl with light green hair and coral eyes.
Victoria: Combat & Overall Command
Emilia: Investigation & Detection
Me: Shuttle & Misc Duties
Not bad for a hastily assembled team, with roles neatly divided.
'Well, since it's come to this, let's wrap it up quick and go home.'
The investigation itself wasn't hard.
Go to spots with toy soldier sightings, scan with detection gear, and casually ask locals for info.
"Emilia, why are you always stuck to Si-hyun?"
"Me···?"
"Yeah, you're always glued to him, so I was curious."
Emilia was hugging my waist tight even during detection and interviews, like a gum sticker.
Since our first kiss, her clinginess had intensified, but it hadn't crossed any lines, so I'd let it slide until it reached this point.
'But I was the one who crossed the line first... no grounds to stop the skinship now? Haha.'
—Squeeze.
Emilia hugged me tighter after Victoria's question.
"Shin oppa is··· the one who took my first——"
Whoa, hold up!!
Munch!
The moment I heard "first," I quickly covered Emilia's mouth with my hand.
"Mmfph···?"
"Wh-what? Why cover Emilia's mouth suddenly?"
"Shh, everyone quiet. You hear that sound?"
Actually, no sound. Just changing the subject.
'Haa, how do I dodge this one?'
But then, Victoria's blue eyes gleamed as she crouched low.
"I definitely hear something. That's... a trumpet sound···?"
Yeah···?
Trumpet? I just said random crap.
At that moment, Emilia started fiddling with her mouth covered and operating the detection gear.
"Mmph··· Phew···! Shin oppa, something's definitely off. Strange energy is building up around us."
—Whoosh.
A slight chill started, and thick fog began creeping up on the ordinary street.
The fog that wrapped our ankles thickened, rising to our knees, eventually blocking all visibility.
Soon, eerie trumpet sounds echoed from afar.
—Bwaaaang.
A melody like a military march resounded through the fog.
I turned toward the sound.
There—
—Clack!
—Clack!
—Clack!
"Toy soldiers···?"
Red uniforms, black-furred hats, expressionless faces.
Life-sized toy soldiers marching in perfect formation.
'Haa, wait, don't tell me this is···?'
Seeing the human-sized toy soldiers in formation amid the thick fog, I recalled a ghost story from a novel.
'If the toy soldiers coming to greet you is the start, then this is definitely—'
Then, as if confirming my guess, an emotionless, creaky voice whispered in my ear.
The kingdom of toys, Kraphim.
This message was both a welcome and an invitation to their kingdom.
Getting pulled into a ghost story was bad enough, but the real problem was elsewhere.
Everyone invited to this kingdom——
"Sh-Shin oppa··· M-my body's getting weird···."
"Si-hyun···! M-me too, my body's weird···!"
Slurred speech, baby-like babbling. I immediately looked at the girls.
"Emilia??"
"Sh-Shin oppaaa···."
The Emilia in front of me had shrunk way smaller than usual.
Like she'd been SD-ified?
Then··· Victoria too?
"Th-this can't be happening···! Waaah!!"
Victoria, who had maintained her spirited knight dignity despite her small size, was now SD-ified too, collapsed on the ground bawling.
"Haa, this is insane."
The trait of the toy kingdom, Kraphim.
It turned everyone invited into children.
"······."
"Shin oppa, carry Emiwiaaa···."
"Cawwy Victowia too···!"
No, but why am I perfectly fine?