Seventh Ghost Story - Psychopath Test (2)
Jang Hwa-eun licked her finger and flipped the page. It was the answer key to the Psychopath Test she'd snatched from a senior chattering away while she was proctoring the reading room.
"Alright, first question."
There were two sisters who went to a funeral together one day and spotted a really handsome guy. The sisters fell head over heels for him, and that night, the younger one killed her older sister. Why?
"What do you think?"
"Hmm, well."
I pondered it again, but only the obvious answer came to mind.
"Jealousy or something like that, right? The older sister liked him too, so she wanted him all to herself. Of course, who'd actually kill family over that. But my answer sounds pretty psychopathic now, and I'm suddenly worried."
The teacher waved her hand reassuringly with a smile, as if to say don't worry.
"That's a normal answer."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Normal folks usually go with jealousy over the guy—those kinds of emotions. But psychopaths say, 'To hold another funeral and see him again.'"
I was at a loss for words.
"Definitely not normal."
"Right?"
The smug teacher.
"Jealousy, fighting—those are emotions only normal people feel. Psychopaths lack them entirely, so just the goal remains, leading to answers like that."
"I see. But you're just reading what's there—why the smugness..."
"Hey! I figured it out!"
"Really?"
I shot up to peek at the answer sheet she was holding, but she panicked and hid it behind her back.
"No spoilers!"
"Got it."
I shrugged and sat back down.
"Good thing I'm normal, at least."
"Yeah, you'd be screwed if you got it right. Second question!"
The teacher shouted energetically.
You’re alone in a room looking at yourself in the mirror. But you don’t like your reflection. Why?
"‘Cause I'm ugly?"
"Right answer: the mirror's dirty!"
The teacher strutted around with the answer sheet. I stayed quiet, and she kept the triumphant look. Finally, I sighed and feigned curiosity.
"Mirror's dirty, huh... Yeah, didn't cross my mind, but it's not impossible. Wonder why that's a psycho answer, though."
"It's because!"
She huffed like she'd been waiting.
"Psychopaths always blame others for the problem!"
Acting like a know-it-all, even though she just read it herself.
"Normal people say ugly, fat, bad skin—self-problems. Psychopaths blame the dirty mirror or weird lighting."
"Makes sense."
Pleased, she planted hands on her hips.
"Fun, huh?"
"Yeah... But you're enjoying this confiscated 'study material' way too much."
She burst out laughing. "Kyahahat!"
"Fun's fun! Question 3!"
On Christmas, Santa gives a little kid a soccer ball and a bicycle. But the kid looks sad instead. Why?
"He has no legs!"
"Good lord."
I'd never have guessed. No legs—turns a wholesome Santa tale creepy as hell.
"I figured he just hated the gifts."
"Right? You didn't see that coming?"
A Santa pulling that prank suddenly conjured the image of our homeroom teacher with his guts spilling out. Similar vibe, maybe. Him in a Santa suit handing a soccer ball and bike to a legless kid, snickering nearby.
"Question 4!"
In the dead of night, you head to the rooftop for some fresh air. While taking in the view, something whooshes past behind you. What passed by?
"Gotta have a rooftop first to answer this, huh?"
"I live in an apartment with one. Never been up, though..."
"So, what do you think whooshed by?"
"Hmm… Dark rooftop at midnight, something zipping past. Ghost, obviously?"
"Normal!"
"What's the answer?"
"Listen up."
The teacher cleared her throat and read on.
"Midnight rooftop, something passing behind—eerie as hell. Normal answer: ghost or person. But psychos, no emotions, no fear, don't get the vibe, so they say animal or wind out of nowhere."
"Got it."
So she was just reading the sheet after all.
"Question 5."
In the dead of night, you wake up and step out to the veranda. Looking down, you see a man holding a knife. He looks up, meets your eyes, then points his index finger at you and snaps it. Why?
"Pointing at me to threaten?"
The teacher scowled, displeased.
"You're picking normal answers on purpose, aren't you?"
She snapped at me.
"No clue. Just said what came to mind."
"Fine, let it slide this time. Answer: 'Counting the floors I'm on.'"
Then she cackled.
"Teacher lives on the 19th. Killer'd get confused counting. You?"
"7th floor—easy to spot, haha."
Right after question 5, you head straight to the kitchen. Why?
Kitchen. Hmm.
"Gotta call the cops, phone's in the kitchen?"
She glared again.
"You've done this before, haven't you?"
"Nope, first time."
"Then why!!"
Thwack!—she slammed the answer sheet on the desk.
"Always picking normal answers!"
"‘Cause I'm normal!"
"Can't believe it! Say something else!"
"Sigh, fine. Suddenly to the kitchen—for a kitchen knife as a weapon?"
She shook her head, bored.
"Answer: hungry."
What the—
"Like I said, fearless psychos don't get the situation. Kitchen? Must be hungry."
"I see."
"Almost done. Question 7!"
Suddenly, someone rings your doorbell. You ask who on the intercom; a passerby says they urgently need the bathroom—open up. Your response?
"On the 7th floor, I'd question how they got up here so urgently."
"What!!!!!!!"
The teacher slammed the desk and jumped up.
"What did you just say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What?"
"That answer! Yours!"
"That's the psycho answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Shut up! Quiet down, seriously!!!! My ears!!!"
"Psycho~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She bounced around like she'd finally caught me.
Does this woman have no brakes?
"Tone it down and sit! Normals could say that too!"
"Hehe, okay."
She stuck out her tongue apologetically.
"These days, apartments have security doors at the entrance, right? Secret codes and all."
"Yeah, ours does."
"This guy's gutsy to get past that?"
"Hmm."
I thought for a sec, then sighed.
Come to think of it, this was my first one-on-one chat with level-headed Jang Hwa-eun. High energy, for sure.
"Codes are usually lazy-set. Ours is '5678'."
"That's too easy!"
"Gets confusing if you haven't been home in a while, though."
"True, residents messing up once looks suspicious."
"Exactly."
"Last question!"
Dark house. Murderer with a knife hunting you. Where do you hide?
"Normals pick spots like under the bed or in the wardrobe—truly hidden. Psychos hide where they can attack back, like behind the door."
"Whoa, never thought of that. Same hiding, but counterattack spots."
"Creepy, right?"
Creak—right on cue, the club room door slid open, and Seon-ah stepped in wearing casual clothes.
"Oh, hi..."
"Seon-ah! What's up?"
"I called her. She said she was free."
"Perfect. You try it. Sit here."
"Okay......"
Seon-ah hesitated and sat beside the teacher.
"Teacher reads the question; say the first thing that pops up."
"Yes."
"First question! Two sisters go to a funeral, spot a hot guy, fall hard. That night, younger kills older. Why?"
"To hold the funeral again..."
After the rowdy psych test wrapped up, the teacher stretched like she'd had a blast and headed back to the reading room. Drained by her energy, I slumped back.
"Whew, feels like a storm blew through."
"J-Joon-ah... The club room. It's bigger again......"
"...Nah, must be seeing things."
The rest of the time flew chatting idly with Seon-ah in the club room till early evening.
"Ahaha......"
"I'm telling you, for real! You pushed me off the rooftop back then!"
"Joonie's hilarious."
"See ya~ Tomorrow again~"
"Yeah, bye......"
As we parted, she forced a smile but looked sad. Felt bad, but I couldn't take her home. Dinner soon, and I had tomorrow to prep.
We'll see each other tomorrow anyway.
Heading home after saying bye to Seon-ah, it hit me: nothing had happened yet.
Still fine, huh.
C-grade ghost story, my ass. Why no incident?
Delayed attack?
Thought about it, but nothing.
No point overthinking alone.
I snapped pics of the test on my phone and sent to Gyeong-won. He might know something.
Not sure what to guess exactly, but sent it anyway. Smart guy's got it if anything's off. That's friendship!
Whistling home, lighthearted dinner, early bed.
No reply from Gyeong-won—probably at cram school. Still none by bedtime.