Learning to Adapt (1)
The academy had come to me with a proposal. On paper, at least, they were giving me a choice: keep my cadet status and continue training, or accept expulsion and return to civilian life. The catch was that choosing expulsion meant paying back every scholarship I’d received, plus a massive invoice for all the training and facility usage fees.
What the actual fuck?
I’d been turned into this while fighting for the country, and instead of compensation they wanted me to cough up money? For a trashy novel, it was weirdly realistic about the shitty parts of life. It wasn’t that the academy had zero compensation system for death or injury in combat. The problem was that no matter how closely I read the fine print, none of the clauses applied to my case. I hadn’t been wounded. I hadn’t been disabled. And as for this body’s original owner—Kang Jae-hee, aka Geumtaeyang—he had no family or guardians to speak of. I had no ability to pay. Choosing expulsion would bury me in crippling debt.
Of course, even though my abilities had weakened, they hadn’t disappeared completely. Given time, I might be able to pay it off. The setting said that hunter work had shrunk since Giganoids were developed, but there were still jobs. I knew a few ways to make decent money. Still, I couldn’t choose expulsion.
Because the final boss was still out there. If we couldn’t stop that thing, this world would be destroyed. And in the original novel, the only ones who could defeat it were the protagonist and his machine, both of whom had grown monstrously strong through countless opportunities and relics. From here on, the protagonist and the heroines would face endless crises. The author had supposedly done a remake, yet I had no idea what fresh hell was coming. Most importantly, I refused to lose and run away from that pathetic writer bastard.
That’s what I told myself, but…
Is this really the right call? I honestly don’t know. Fuck.
I muttered it to myself in front of the dormitory. After being discharged, I’d been sent back to the dorms. They let me keep the same room I’d used as Kang Jae-hee. Which meant the men’s dormitory.
Obviously I was still registered as male, so using the men’s dorm made sense, but…
Looking at me now, no one in their right mind would call this a guy.
The boys’ uniform hung off me like a tent. I’d rolled up the sleeves and hem multiple times, but it still looked ridiculous. Even wearing clothes that clearly didn’t fit, my face made it impossible for anyone to see me as male. I walked into the dormitory with that face.
Naturally, the men’s dorm was a female-free zone. I knew eyes would be on me, but it was still before dinner, so the guys in the lobby were—
Yep. There they were. Fuck. Why the hell were these idiots already loitering around instead of eating?
“Wh—whoa, who the hell?”
A shirtless guy coming back from working out nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw me and bolted back into the training room. Others started whispering.
“Transfer student? This isn’t the girls’ dorm, you know.”
“But she’s wearing a guy’s uniform… Wait, is that Kang Jae-hee? I heard something happened during last week’s sortie.”
“For real? No way.”
They stared at me like I was some zoo animal, chattering away. I let out a long sigh, rubbed my temples, and walked past them without a word toward the elevator. Explaining everything was too annoying. The instructors would cover it in class anyway.
I had become a woman, but on paper I was still listed as “male.” That meant I had to use the men’s facilities for everything—dormitory, bathroom, and even the shower room. The academy had no choice. If I used the women’s facilities, it would cause even bigger problems. A student who had been male until recently sharing facilities with the girls would spark serious backlash. Especially since no one knew if or when I might change back.
When I’d just heard about it, I hadn’t thought much of it. But now that I was actually living it… it felt fucking awful.
I might not be a woman on the inside, but if I showered in this body, I’d be one hundred percent a sideshow. Hell, if I were still in my old body, I’d probably sneak a peek too. My feelings were complicated as hell.
“I’ll just… shower in my room,” I muttered, leaning against the elevator wall. Thank god the private rooms came with their own tiny bathrooms and showers.
So I showered. I hadn’t been able to properly wash in the hospital.
The water poured down. I stood under the stream, letting it hit my head. My mind was too cluttered. Long blonde strands clung to my body like seaweed.
Should I cut my hair?
It was cumbersome. But I was too lazy, so I probably wouldn’t. Hot water struck my skin, scattering in tiny sprays.
It was a beautiful body, even if I said so myself. Delicate. Almost fragile. Looking at it… of course I was going to do this. Any guy who wouldn’t would be lying.
I slowly raised both hands and cupped my breasts.
They were pale, perky, with cute pink nipples. How the hell was I supposed to ignore these?
“…Whoa.”
They were so soft. And then… I fell into a pit of self-loathing.
While drying my long hair by pressing it with a towel, I opened the new supplies the academy had issued me. They were all for female cadets. Women’s panties, bras, tank tops, pantyhose, cosmetics… and even sanitary pads.
Sanitary pads.
Unpacking them sent me spiraling into self-loathing again. The ridiculous part was that they told me to use the men’s facilities but issued me women’s clothing. Something about maintaining the dignity of a cadet. Apparently it would look bad if a girl walked around in men’s clothes.
Granted, my height wasn’t particularly short for a woman, but in men’s clothes I’d look like a kid. The supplies weren’t even military issue—they were civilian products with no “Brave Girl” branding or olive drab coloring. They’d basically bought retail items. Some even had lace.
“Why the hell would a soldier wear this…”
Lace felt like too much of a hurdle, so I picked the plainest set. But even the “plain” ones looked tiny in my hands. Were women’s panties always this small?
I didn’t even know anymore. My mind went blank.
I put on the panties. Then the bra. Then the tracksuit. The tracksuit was the men’s version but in a different color—bright wine red. After that I flopped face-up on the bed.
I was exhausted. While I was in the hospital they’d run every test imaginable; I hadn’t gotten any proper rest. I curled up and let sleep take me.
Tomorrow… I’d have to buy new uniforms. And civilian clothes too. The academy would cover up to two sets of uniforms. Though I’d have to pay them back if I got expelled.
Of course, I wasn’t the only one with complicated feelings.
The novel’s protagonist, Lee Hyun-woo, had plenty of his own.
“That bastard… ending up like that…”
It was impossible not to feel conflicted. Being saved by someone he hated was bad enough. Then that same person had turned into a girl. While Kang Jae-hee was in the hospital, Lee Hyun-woo had gone to visit with Han Seo-ah. No matter how much he disliked the guy, the fact remained that Jae-hee had saved him. Lee Hyun-woo wasn’t so shameless that he could ignore a debt like that.
And so he had seen the changed Kang Jae-hee with his own eyes.
Later, Instructor Lee Kwan-yong had even told him that Kang Jae-hee might be expelled. His heart had sunk. If that happened, he would never get the chance to repay the debt. Just being helped pissed him off, but being denied even the opportunity to return the favor?
“Goddammit!”
Lee Hyun-woo swung his sword as if trying to shake the thoughts away. He threw himself into training for a long time. It helped clear his head a little.
But that relief lasted only until the next day.
Lee Hyun-woo lived on the same dormitory floor as Kang Jae-hee.
The door opened with a clack.
When I stepped out, my eyes met the person coming out of the room directly across from mine. The moment our gazes locked, he turned his head away. It annoyed me, but we weren’t exactly close enough to greet each other anyway, so I let it slide. Since we were both heading the same direction, though, the situation felt unavoidably awkward. Standing together waiting for the elevator was incredibly uncomfortable. Someone had to say something first.
He spoke first.
“Um… thanks for before.”
“Huh? It’s fine. You already thanked me at the hospital.”
“No, that’s not… Look, about the other thing. Are you getting expelled?”
“No. I’m on my way to buy new uniforms. They said I should come back to class tomorrow.”
I was still in the tracksuit. I didn’t have anything else to wear.
“Really? …That’s a relief.”
Relief? My future was nothing but a mountain of suffering. The elevator arrived with a ding. We both stepped in. Another stretch of silence passed until the doors opened again on the lobby. Since it was a holiday, the place was empty.
He spoke again.
“Oh, right. There’s an exam next week. It was scheduled while you were in the hospital. They’re reshuffling the teams.”
I already knew. It was one of the things weighing on me. Whether this body could handle it… And the root cause of the reshuffling was standing right in front of me—this tall bastard.
“Makes sense. When the top three all got wrecked at once.”
It was a harsh way to put it. The author’s meddling had made it unavoidable. Still, even without Brunhilde appearing, Lee Hyun-woo would have been combat-incapacitated. And even if it was unavoidable, someone had to take responsibility.
Instructor Lee Kwan-yong will probably be the scapegoat. He’ll get off with a reprimand, though.
That was why they were doing a full retest of all the cadets. In short, this was his fault. I left out the part about the author’s interference and told him the rest. His face twisted.