The Order of Desire
Eunju let out a tiny laugh at those words. “Actually, I…”
“I’m not brave enough to give that to Gyujin.”
Gyujin couldn’t respond. Eunju glanced briefly toward Minjun. He was still staring down at his glass in silence. “And my husband isn’t ready for it yet, either.”
At that, Minjun let out a low breath. Eunju pretended not to hear it.
“And before that…”
Eunju slowly turned her glass with her fingertips.
“There are young men waiting for me.”
Gyujin’s eyes trembled again. Eunju smiled, looking a little embarrassed. “First, I need to talk with my husband about how far I can go.”
“And how far my husband can bear to watch.”
Only then did Minjun look at her. Though Eunju had spoken playfully, her eyes were anything but light. After shaking Gyujin with her words, she turned back to Minjun. But returning didn’t mean she was retreating. It felt more like she was catching her breath before stepping deeper in.
Gyujin sensed it. He wasn’t simply intruding between another man’s marriage. He was hearing the innermost thoughts this couple would never show anyone else, almost unfiltered. The realization made him uncomfortable. Yet at the same time, it made it impossible to look away.
Eunju stared down at her glass and said quietly, “I’ve gotten quite close with the boys now.”
Minjun didn’t answer, simply watching her. With her face flushed from the alcohol, Eunju continued a little slowly.
“They’re both so cute.”
“They look at me like I’m beautiful.”
“And that shows in the photos.”
Minjun quietly swirled his glass. “So?”
Eunju met his eyes. Even though she knew her husband’s gaze held no playfulness, she didn’t stop speaking.
“Before we take the photos…”
“I thought about letting them hold me once.”
Gyujin swallowed hard.
“Not just a light hug…”
“I even thought about crossing the line with them first, right in front of you.”
This time Gyujin really lifted his head. Eunju didn’t look at him. She was only looking at Minjun.
“After those boys have completely taken me.”
“If I stood in front of the camera in that state…”
“I wondered if the photos would capture how my body had accepted them, even the sensation of it.”
After she spoke, Eunju felt her face grow hot. She was saying this to her husband. But Gyujin was listening too. That fact made her even more ashamed. And because of that shame, her words became even clearer.
Minjun didn’t answer for a long time. The noise inside the pub seemed to fade into the distance. Then he spoke in a low voice.
“I’m against it.”
Eunju blinked. “Why?”
Minjun set his glass down. “The photos come first.”
“Right now those boys are burning for you.”
“You saw it during today’s shoot.”
“Every time you smile even a little, they get excited. When you get even slightly embarrassed, they can barely breathe. They won’t want to miss a single moment, even the instant your inner thighs peek out from under your skirt.”
Eunju listened quietly. Minjun’s voice stayed low.
“That’s because they haven’t left their mark deep inside you yet. That’s why they want to see more, take more photos, and preserve you even more beautifully.”
Gyujin sat frozen, still holding his glass. He was listening to another couple’s far too intimate plans. He felt like he shouldn’t be hearing this, yet strangely he didn’t want to miss a single word.
Minjun continued. “A man is different before and after he reaches the end.”
“It’s not because those boys are bad.”
“That’s just how men are.”
Eunju’s eyes trembled slightly. Minjun saw it but didn’t stop.
“Right now they want you so badly that every single photo will be soaked with their desire.”
Eunju looked down at her glass.
“But if you cross the line first.”
“If they get to know your body first.”
“The photos after that could change.”
“How?” Eunju’s voice was small.
Minjun took a very brief breath. “The tension disappears.”
“Once the desire that had built up from wanting you is released, they might not be able to look at you the same way anymore.”
Eunju pressed her lips together lightly. Those words hurt a little. They meant the sequence she had imagined might ruin the most beautiful memory.
Knowing that, Minjun still spoke calmly. “Of course, they might keep liking you.”
“After crossing the line once, they could fall even deeper.”
“But at least the tension won’t be the same as it is now.”
At those words, Gyujin unconsciously lowered his head. Minjun’s words were blunt, but they weren’t wrong. As a man, it was hard to deny them.
Minjun spoke a little more gently this time. “What you want isn’t simply to sleep with those boys.”
“It’s to remain beautiful in their eyes.”
“Not as a shameful body, but as a beautiful one.”
“You want to capture the moment when they look at you with desperate longing, in photographs.”
Eunju couldn’t answer. He was right.
“Then the photos come first,” Minjun said again. “While those boys are still desperate because they haven’t had you yet.”
“And you haven’t gone all the way to climax either.”
“There’s still shame left in you.”
“That shame is what makes your face come alive.”
Eunju slowly drew in a breath. “You’re cruel.”
“What is?”
“You make me want it so badly.”
“And then you say you’ll take the photos without letting me have it.”
Minjun laughed quietly. “You said you wanted to remain beautiful.”
Eunju couldn’t argue.
Gyujin watched the couple and set his glass down. It was strange. In any other household, this kind of talk about infidelity would have led to divorce. Yet here Minjun was calmly advising his wife on how she could collapse in the most stimulating way possible. And what was even stranger was that to them, it didn’t look like a joke or a deviation at all.
Whether the photos should come first. Whether the body should come first. When a man’s desire was at its most taut. In what order Eunju would collapse most beautifully. They were considering these things with almost desperate seriousness.
Anger. Humiliation. The feeling of being betrayed. The horrible sensation that something of his had been defiled. Maybe this was what Minjun had meant by a difference in trust.
It was only after a long time that Eunju looked at Minjun again. “Then the photos first.”
“And after that?”
Minjun didn’t avoid her eyes. “After that, we’ll do whatever your body wants.”
Eunju stared at him. Minjun continued without flinching. “If you get heated while we’re taking the photos.”
“You can take those boys right there and then.”
Gyujin’s hand froze on top of his glass. Knowing how he was reacting, Minjun still spoke as if he were talking only to Eunju.
“Or we can finish the photos as planned.”
“And set another day.”
“We’ll decide that based on how far your body wants to go at the time.”
Eunju slowly nodded. The vague fantasies she had only imagined until now were suddenly becoming a reality that could be scheduled. The scenes she had rolled over and over in her mind were being organized by her husband’s mouth into something possible. That made her tremble even more.
At that moment, Minjun looked at Gyujin. “What do you think?”
Gyujin stiffened when the attention suddenly turned to him. “Me?”
“Yeah.” Minjun spoke calmly. “As a man.”
“If you were the one crossing the line with Eunju.”
Gyujin’s hand stopped on his glass. The words were already explicit enough. But what flustered him even more was that the person saying them was her husband. And that the woman in question, Eunju, was sitting right beside him, watching him without turning away.
Gyujin knew to some extent about Minjun and Eunju’s inclinations. He had even seen them firsthand that afternoon. Still, when he was suddenly asked, in front of his friend’s wife, about the order in which he would cross the line with her, his mind couldn’t keep up.
Minjun didn’t wait and asked again. “Would it be more stimulating to hold Eunju before the photos?”
“Or would it be more stimulating to photograph her while she’s still burning with desire because you haven’t had her yet?”
Gyujin couldn’t answer. Minjun’s voice was low and calm.
“And which way seems to treat Eunju more preciously?”
“Releasing your desire first.”
“Or preserving the moment when she wants to remain beautiful first?”
Gyujin looked down at his glass. The question seemed to be about Hyeonwu and Doyun. But in truth, it was also directed at himself. If he wanted Eunju. If this friend’s wife were placed before him with her husband’s permission. At which moment would he lose his mind more? Before having her? After having her?
Instinctively, Gyujin knew the answer. It was before having her. The state where he could almost reach her but still couldn’t. The state where permission was so close, yet one final step remained. He couldn’t deny that this tension made a man the most sensitive.
But it was difficult to say those words in front of Eunju. It wasn’t a simple opinion. It was about stating in what state he would feel more stimulated by his friend’s wife. And at the same time, it was about judging in what way Eunju could be treated more preciously.
Eunju looked at Gyujin quietly. “You can speak honestly.”
That made Gyujin even more uncomfortable. Because he had been given permission, he could no longer avoid it. After fiddling with his glass for a long time, he finally opened his mouth with difficulty.
“I think… what Minjun said is right.”
Eunju didn’t look down. Gyujin carefully chose his words.
“It’s difficult for a man to be the same before and after having someone.”
“That doesn’t mean his feelings are light.”
“And it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her.”
He paused for a moment. “But once he goes all the way…”
“Something definitely changes.”
Eunju asked in a low voice, “Does it cool off?”
Gyujin couldn’t answer right away. Her words were too precise.
“It’s not so much that it cools off…”
“The tension is released.”
Eunju’s fingertips stopped on her glass. Gyujin quickly added, “Of course, it could also become deeper.”
“There are men who develop even stronger feelings after embracing someone once.”
“But which way it will go… you can’t know until you try.”
Minjun nodded quietly. “That’s why the photos come first.”
Gyujin also gave a small nod. “Yes.”
“If you want to leave behind beautiful photographs, I think it’s right to do it while that tension still remains.”
Eunju said nothing. She wasn’t hurt. She simply looked like someone who had seen more clearly what she truly wanted. She didn’t only want to be held by men. Before that, she wanted to preserve the moment when those men looked at her with desperate longing.
Eunju lifted her glass to her lips, then set it down without drinking. “Then…”
“What we need is the way those boys look at me before they have me.”
Minjun answered quietly. “Yes.”
Eunju smiled slowly. It was a smile mixed with embarrassment. “You’re bad.”
Minjun smiled too. “I just told you what you want.”