The Way We Play These Days
The words Gyujin had tossed out like a joke weren't really a joke, nor were they an outright advance. That was why they lingered so long. Eunju lifted her glass and took a sip. The bitter taste of the soju-beer mix slid across her tongue and down her throat. The alcohol was now spreading slowly, not just across her face but deep inside her body. She set the glass down and looked at Gyujin.
“The way you said I was pretty.”
Gyujin lifted his head. Eunju smiled faintly.
“It stayed with me longer than I expected.”
Minjun looked at her too. Eunju felt his gaze but didn’t stop speaking.
“Even as you get older.”
“Even after the kids are all grown.”
“Even if someone calls you Mom. Or Auntie.”
She traced the condensation on her glass with a fingertip.
“When someone tells you you’re pretty, it makes you think… I guess I still look like a woman.”
Gyujin couldn’t answer right away. His expression showed he was trying to figure out whether she was joking or serious. Seeing his hesitation, Eunju gave a small laugh.
“So don’t get too tense just because I’m your friend’s wife.”
Gyujin’s eyes widened slightly.
“No, that’s not—”
“I’m at an age where I know pretty much everything now.”
Eunju spoke gently, but there was a subtle ease at the end of her words.
“I’m not that uptight of a woman.”
Minjun’s hand paused, just barely, beside his glass. Gyujin glanced at him. Minjun simply lifted his glass and drank. He didn’t intervene. Eunju noted that too. Gyujin gave an awkward smile.
“I didn’t know you were the type to speak so comfortably, Eunju.”
“I didn’t know I was the type either.”
Eunju said it with a smile that showed she was a little surprised at herself. Was it the alcohol? Or was the alcohol simply an excuse now? She could no longer clearly separate the two.
Gyujin fiddled with his glass. Eunju watched his hands for a moment, then asked suddenly,
“Gyujin, don’t you get lonely living by yourself these days?”
The question started out casually enough. But Gyujin couldn’t answer immediately. Minjun let out a short laugh.
“Hey, the interrogation begins.”
“No.”
Eunju glanced at Minjun, then back at Gyujin.
“I’m just curious.”
Gyujin smiled, looking a little troubled.
“Well… yeah, I do get lonely.”
“What about women?”
Gyujin’s hand stopped. Eunju didn’t back down this time either.
“Have you met anyone lately?”
“Hey.”
Minjun cut in with a laugh.
“You’re going in pretty deep.”
Eunju looked at Minjun.
“Why?”
At that single short word, Minjun closed his mouth. Eunju turned back to Gyujin.
“I don’t mean anything bad by it.”
“I’m just curious.”
Gyujin picked up his glass, then set it down again.
“These days… well…”
He shrugged.
“I don’t really get many chances.”
“None at all?”
Eunju’s voice was lower than she’d intended. Gyujin laughed.
“Saying none at all sounds a bit pathetic.”
“But that’s pretty much the truth.”
A flicker of genuine sympathy crossed Eunju’s face. That expression flustered Gyujin even more. It wasn’t mockery. It wasn’t a joke. It was the face of someone who had briefly glimpsed the emptiness in a man living alone.
Eunju said quietly,
“That must be hard.”
Gyujin was at a loss for words. Even Minjun didn’t laugh this time. Eunju lifted her glass again.
“How do men endure something like that?”
Gyujin’s face flushed noticeably.
“Eunju.”
“What?”
Eunju smiled, her eyes crinkling slightly.
“Are we not allowed to talk about this?”
Gyujin looked toward Minjun. Minjun licked his lips and smiled.
“Don’t look at me.”
“You’re the one who has to answer.”
Gyujin let out a hollow laugh.
“You two are really weird tonight.”
Minjun raised his glass.
“We are, a bit.”
At those words, something deep inside Eunju’s chest slowly grew warm. She looked at Gyujin. He was still being cautious. Friend’s wife. A woman he hadn’t seen in a long time. The woman he had accidentally called pretty. And now, the woman casually asking about his loneliness and desires. All those labels were colliding across his face.
Watching that face, Eunju leaned her body forward just a little more. The front of her cardigan parted ever so slightly. Gyujin’s gaze dropped for a moment, then rose again. Once more, he tried to hide it quickly. Eunju didn’t miss it.
“Gyujin.”
“Yes.”
“Just relax and look tonight.”
Gyujin froze. Minjun set his glass down. Eunju felt her face burning, but she didn’t let her words trail off.
“I know I can’t offer any grand comfort.”
“But still… look at me a little tonight.”
“Let it ease even a bit of the loneliness you’ve been carrying alone.”
Gyujin couldn’t say anything. The words could have sounded blatantly suggestive, or they could have been brushed off as a mischievous joke over drinks. But all three of them knew. Eunju was giving Gyujin permission. Not permission to touch. Not permission to approach. But permission to look. Permission to see her as a woman. Within the boundary of “friend’s wife,” it was permission to loosen that boundary, just for a little while.
Minjun laughed softly.
“Hey.”
His pronunciation was starting to loosen.
“You hit the jackpot today.”
Gyujin looked at Minjun with an awkward smile.
“Are you really okay with this?”
“With what?”
“I mean, with Eunju saying things like that.”
Minjun looked at Eunju. She didn’t avoid his eyes. There was a drunken haze in Minjun’s gaze, and beneath it, something darker and hotter burned. Minjun took a drink and said,
“Eunju says it’s fine.”
Gyujin looked at Eunju again. She smiled calmly.
“If Minjun says anything, just tell me.”
At that, Gyujin finally burst out laughing.
“Ah, you two are seriously driving me crazy.”
“Why?”
“How could I possibly be fine after hearing something like that from my friend’s wife?”
Eunju lifted her glass to her lips.
“I never told you to be fine with it.”
In that moment, the air at the table shifted again. The noise inside the chicken restaurant grew distant. The sound of passing footsteps faded. Gyujin could no longer laugh right away. Minjun held his glass and watched Gyujin. His face looked relaxed, as if drunk, but his eyes missed nothing. Gyujin let out a slow breath.
“Then…”
He paused, choosing his words carefully.
“Is it really okay to look?”
Eunju’s fingertips tightened around her glass. The corner of Minjun’s mouth twisted.
“This bastard.”
He spoke with a slightly slurred voice.
“So damn polite about it.”
Gyujin laughed in embarrassment.
“Hey, this kind of thing needs to be polite.”
He looked at Eunju.
“Shouldn’t there be manners even when looking at something beautiful?”
Those words touched something deep inside Eunju. Beautiful thing. Instead of saying “friend’s wife” or even “woman,” Gyujin had phrased it that way. Eunju slowly withdrew her hand from the front of her cardigan. She hadn’t meant to show anything. She had simply stopped trying to cover herself so hastily. But that alone was enough.
Gyujin’s gaze carefully drifted downward. At first it was her face—cheeks flushed from the alcohol. Then her neck. The line of her shoulder revealed between the cardigan. And then the short pants and thighs that continued beneath the table. His gaze wasn’t rushed. If anything, it was too cautious. That made it all the more vivid.
Eunju knew she was being traced by his eyes. Yet she didn’t shrink back immediately. Her heart beat faster. Shame rose within her. But that shame no longer stopped her. Instead, it only stoked the heat burning inside her body even higher.
Minjun spoke in a low voice.
“You like it?”
Gyujin looked away.
“Hey.”
“I asked if you like it.”
Minjun was smiling. It was a loose, drunken smile, but there was a tremor beneath his voice. Gyujin couldn’t answer. Eunju answered for him.
“Minjun.”
He looked at her. Eunju smiled, unable to hide the embarrassment on her face.
“That’s hard to answer, isn’t it?”
Minjun watched her for a moment, then looked back at Gyujin.
“See that? Eunju’s taking your side.”
Gyujin emptied his glass in one go.
“I swear the alcohol is hitting me way too fast tonight.”
“You think it’s the alcohol?”
Minjun muttered. At those words, Eunju’s face burned even hotter. She lifted her glass. Her fingertips trembled slightly. But she didn’t pull away.
After that, Gyujin no longer stared openly for long. Instead, he kept stealing short glances. He would look while laughing. Look while lifting his glass. Look while talking to Minjun, only for his gaze to drift toward Eunju before he caught himself and looked away. All those brief failures felt strangely raw to Eunju.
The alcohol kept flowing. Minjun teased Gyujin, Gyujin cursed at Minjun, and Eunju laughed between them. But beneath the laughter, something else lingered. A woman showing herself. Men looking. A husband allowing it. All three of them pretended not to notice.
The excuse of being drunk lay thinly over the table. Beneath that excuse, Eunju grew a little bolder. The hand adjusting her cardigan moved more slowly. The way she kept her knees together became a little looser. Every time Gyujin’s gaze touched her, something deep inside her body responded quietly. The fact that Minjun was watching that response made Eunju even hotter.
“Hey, Gyujin,” Minjun said, raising his glass. “You’re definitely going to show up in Eunju’s dreams tonight.”
Gyujin laughed, his face red from the alcohol.
“You crazy bastard, knock it off.”
“Why?”
Minjun looked at Eunju.
“Does Eunju hate it?”
Eunju didn’t answer. Her silence remained like an answer in itself. Gyujin grew even more flustered by that silence. Eunju knew exactly how her silence sounded. She knew, yet she didn’t rush to fix it. That was who she was tonight. The woman who had said she wasn’t uptight, and was now slowly confirming the truth of those words. Using the alcohol as an excuse—though it wasn’t entirely the alcohol’s fault. The woman who allowed a man’s gaze. The woman who felt her body respond to that gaze. The woman who hid none of it in front of Minjun.
Eunju brought the glass to her lips. The cold, bitter liquor slid down her throat again. She felt Gyujin’s gaze touch her once more. Once again, she didn’t pull away. Nothing had happened yet tonight. But all three of them knew. Something had already been permitted.
The hand adjusting her cardigan moved more slowly. The way she kept her knees together became a little looser. Every time Gyujin’s gaze touched her, something deep inside her body responded quietly. The fact that Minjun was watching that response made Eunju even hotter.
Eunju set her glass down and touched the front of her cardigan. At first it looked like she was fixing the slipped shoulder line. But her fingertips moved downward toward the buttons instead. Gyujin’s gaze stopped. Minjun noticed the movement too. Eunju smiled as if it were nothing.
“It’s getting warm.”
The words were ordinary. The night air outside the restaurant seats was actually cool. But no one pointed that out. Eunju slowly took off her cardigan. The thin fabric that had been draped over her shoulders slid down her arms. Beneath it, the line of her off-shoulder knit was revealed. Her bright skin quietly rose under the lights of the chicken restaurant.
Gyujin couldn’t turn his eyes away right away. Only afterward did he belatedly reach for his glass. Eunju saw his reaction and smiled softly.
“With this, maybe a divorced man can go without seeing a woman for a while.”
Gyujin choked on the drink he was swallowing and coughed.
“Eunju.”
“What?”
Eunju hung the cardigan over the back of her chair. Her fingertips trembled a little, but her movements didn’t stop.
“I told you earlier to let me comfort you before you go.”
Gyujin looked at Minjun. Minjun was smiling, glass in hand. With a slightly slurred voice, he said,
“Hey, Gyujin.”
“What?”
“You’re definitely going to show up in Eunju’s dreams tonight.”
Gyujin laughed, his face red from the alcohol.
“You crazy bastard, knock it off.”
The drinking session ended naturally at that point. It could have gone deeper, but no one pushed the conversation in that direction. Gyujin laughed a few more times, Minjun responded in kind, and Eunju slowly emptied her glass. The chicken plate was nearly empty. Only thin, melted foam like diluted ice remained in the soju-beer glasses.
Gyujin checked his watch and spoke in his familiar tone.
“Let’s grab a coffee before we go.”
“We always do,” Minjun nodded. “Let’s.”
Gyujin glanced briefly at Eunju. It was a look asking if she would join them. Eunju stood up first.
“I’ll come too.”
A short smile spread across Gyujin’s face at her words.
“Good.”
The coffee shop wasn’t far from the chicken restaurant. Since it was getting late, there weren’t many customers. Beyond the glass windows, the lights of the shopping alley blurred together, and inside were low tables and deeply cushioned chairs.
Minjun went to order the drinks. Gyujin and Eunju sat down first. The moment Eunju sat in the low chair, she realized her posture felt even more uncomfortable than at the chicken restaurant. The table was low, and the chair tilted slightly back. Her legs beneath the short pants naturally extended forward. Eunju pressed her knees together. But the low table did almost nothing to hide them. Instead, from Gyujin’s seated eye level across from her, the line of her legs was even more clearly visible.
Gyujin noticed and immediately lowered his gaze to the coaster. Eunju saw his reaction. Perhaps because the alcohol had worn off a little compared to the chicken restaurant, that brief avoidance felt even clearer. Minjun returned with three cups of coffee. He looked in turn at Eunju’s legs, Gyujin’s gaze, and Gyujin’s face as he deliberately stared out the window. But he said nothing. He simply sat down beside Eunju.
The aroma of coffee slowly seeped through the haze of alcohol. When she wrapped her hands around the hot cup, Eunju felt as if she were returning a little to reality. The noise of the chicken restaurant, the intoxication, Gyujin’s gaze, and Minjun’s playful permission all stepped back a pace. And with that, the shame arrived late.
Eunju stared down at her cup. Gyujin remained silent for a long time too. He opened his mouth several times as if to speak, then stopped. Eventually, Gyujin spoke first.
“Eunju.”
She lifted her head. Gyujin looked a little troubled. It was different from the face that had been laughing at the drinking table. Under the bright lights of the coffee shop, it was the face of a man belatedly recalling how far he had looked and how he had reacted.
“If I was rude earlier, I’m sorry.”
Eunju didn’t answer right away. Gyujin glanced at Minjun, then back at her.
“I’d had some drinks.”
“And the mood got strangely comfortable.”
“I might have crossed a line.”
Minjun drank his coffee and listened silently. Eunju wrapped both hands around her cup. The warm heat touched her palms.
“You weren’t rude.”
Gyujin looked up. Eunju smiled a little.
“I could see how hard you were trying to be careful.”
Gyujin laughed in embarrassment.
“That makes it even more humiliating.”
“No.”
Eunju shook her head.
“I was actually grateful.”
Gyujin froze. Eunju looked out the window for a moment, choosing her words. In the glass, her own shoulder line and legs, along with Minjun’s face beside her, overlapped hazily.
“A gaze that sees me as a woman…”
“Sometimes it can be really frightening.”
“But today… strangely, it lifted my self-esteem a little.”
Gyujin couldn’t say anything. Eunju looked at him and added,
“It’s been a long time since I felt that way.”
“That I can still look like a woman to someone.”
“That kind of thing.”
The playfulness vanished from Gyujin’s face. He became genuinely cautious.
“If you say it like that, I’m the one who should be grateful.”
Eunju smiled softly. Minjun set his coffee cup down beside her. Even after hearing her words, he didn’t interrupt. He simply traced the rim of his cup slowly with his fingertips. Eunju looked at that hand. She realized once again that Minjun had seen every word she had spoken tonight, every gaze she had permitted. That fact still quietly warmed something deep inside her.
The time in the coffee shop was calmer than at the drinking table. Gyujin no longer acted mischievously. Minjun didn’t deliberately raise the mood either. The three of them talked a little more about the old days. Stories from when the children were young. Stories about kids who were now college students or had left home. Stories about how they hadn’t realized how good those times were until they had passed.
Eunju laughed now and then. Gyujin now looked at her a little more comfortably. But he couldn’t become completely at ease. That ambiguous distance lingered even longer.
When they finished their coffee and stepped outside, the air in the alley had grown even colder. Gyujin had to head toward the parking lot, while Minjun and Eunju would walk home. Before they parted, Gyujin bowed his head to Eunju.
“It was really nice seeing you today.”
Eunju smiled.
“Me too.”
Gyujin hesitated for a moment, then said,
“It would be nice to see you again sometime.”
He laughed as if surprised at himself after saying it. Eunju didn’t answer right away. Then she spoke gently.
“If the chance comes.”
That was enough. Gyujin bumped shoulders lightly with Minjun in farewell and turned away. After a few steps, he called out to Minjun again.
“Hey, Minjun.”
Minjun turned around. Eunju waited a little distance away. Gyujin lowered his voice.
“If I crossed any lines today, just forget about it.”
Minjun looked at him. Gyujin’s face still carried both intoxication and embarrassment. It was the belated anxiety of a man who had seen his friend’s wife as a woman. Minjun said nothing for a moment. Then he let out a short laugh.
“Why are you taking it so seriously?”
Gyujin still looked troubled. Minjun deliberately patted his shoulder.
“The way we play these days.”
Gyujin blinked.
“What?”
“I’m kidding, you idiot.”
Minjun laughed.
“Don’t feel burdened.”
“If Eunju had hated it, she would have gotten up long ago.”
Gyujin stared at Minjun with a dazed face, then finally burst into a hollow laugh.
“You two really are weird as a couple.”
“I know.”
Minjun answered casually. Gyujin shook his head.
“Still… thank you for today.”
“Me too.”
Minjun replied shortly. Gyujin looked toward Eunju again. She was waiting for the two of them from a distance, cardigan draped over her arm, standing quietly in the night air. Gyujin didn’t say anything more and simply raised his hand. Minjun raised his hand in return.
On the way home, Eunju was silent. Minjun didn’t ask first either. The lights of the shopping alley faded behind them. Eunju draped the cardigan over her shoulders again. The intoxication had subsided a little, but the heat that remained inside her body hadn’t completely disappeared.
After walking for a while, Eunju asked,
“What did you say to Gyujin?”
Minjun answered while looking ahead.
“Not to feel burdened.”
“And?”
Minjun glanced at her.
“The way we play these days.”
Eunju almost stopped walking.
“What?”
Minjun laughed.
“Like a joke.”
Eunju’s face turned red.
“You’re crazy.”
“I told him not to feel burdened.”
Minjun spoke calmly.
“It would be weirder if he went home with a guilty face.”
Eunju couldn’t answer. Minjun walked a little slower.
“Were you okay today?”
Eunju didn’t answer right away. The night air touched her thighs. The scent of coffee still lingered faintly in her mouth. She remembered Gyujin’s eyes as he had looked at her so carefully. And Minjun’s face as he watched those eyes. Eunju said slowly,
“I was embarrassed.”
Minjun waited. Eunju added,
“But I didn’t hate it.”
No longer explanation was needed after those words. Minjun nodded quietly. The two of them started walking again. The path home wasn’t far.