Chapter 38
Chapter 38
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: Conversation (2)
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“Hello?”
Oliver said as he opened the door and entered.
The holy knight Johanna, bound to the bed, looked at Oliver but offered no reply.
But that didn’t matter. He could glimpse anger, frustration, and doubt in her emotions.
Oliver pulled a stool over to her bedside and sat down. Then he greeted her once more.
“......Hello?”
“......Do I look like I’m saying hello?”
Clank. She raised one of her chained arms in response.
“Sorry. It does seem a bit excessive, but the others insisted they wouldn’t feel at ease otherwise... Is it very uncomfortable?”
“No, not really. If I set my mind to it, I could snap it anytime.”
“Well, as a knight, you probably could. But if you did, the black magic we’ve prepared here would activate, and someone might get hurt. Not just you, but your comrades too.”
Whether she knew this or not, Johanna glanced at the minion and made a bitter face.
She wanted to move right then, but couldn’t because she was worried about her comrades.
From the multiple calls for surrender to everything else, she seemed like a truly kind person.
That’s why he was curious. Why did someone like her fight? How could she be so brave facing death? How could she emit such a beautiful light...?
He had so many questions.
“First, allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is Oliver. Nice to meet you.”
As rehearsed, Oliver introduced himself as kindly as possible and extended his hand. But all he got in return was a cold stare.
“What kind of trick are you trying to pull now?”
“......I just want to have a conversation.”
“A conversation...? Whatever your ulterior motive, if you’re trying to pry information out of me or pull some scheme, it won’t work. I won’t be fooled, and I won’t yield to any torture.”
Her tone was laced with thorns. She meant every word. For some reason, she was extremely wary of Oliver.
“I’m not trying to pry any information out of you.”
“How am I supposed to believe that?”
“Hmm...... Is it because I’m a black magician that you’re so guarded?”
“Yes. Is there any other reason?”
“I’m really just curious, but is there something wrong with being a black magician?”
Turning away from Oliver’s gaze, Johanna furrowed her brow and met his eyes. She looked extremely displeased.
“Are you treating me like an idiot right now? Mocking me?”
“No. I’m not treating you like an idiot or mocking you. I just want to talk.”
“......”
Johanna glared at Oliver in silence, as if trying to discern his true intentions.
At last, she slowly opened her mouth.
“Don’t you know that you produce harmful drugs and drag people into the pit of addiction?”
“Ah... You mean Filterette?”
“Yes. Are you seriously claiming you don’t know how many people have suffered because of the drugs you make?”
“I don’t really know... I haven’t been practicing black magic for long.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“It’s not a lie. You don’t have to believe me... Anyway, from what I’ve heard, Filterette isn’t that harmful. At worst, it’s like cigarettes... They say it’s even used as medicine.”
“Even if that’s true, a drug is still a drug. And don’t you steal people’s emotions to make them?”
“It’s not stealing. We only buy from people who want to sell, in exchange for money.”
“Are you claiming it’s right to tempt the poor with money and extract their emotions?”
At that moment, Oliver recalled the woman who had all her maternal love drained, losing not just herself but her child as well.
“Hmm...... No. I guess not. They took too much, and she broke. It’s a sad thing.”
“Exactly.”
“That’s why from now on, I plan to set a proper limit when extracting emotions. They say it’s fine up to a certain amount. Like blood donation.”
Anger and disgust settled on Johanna’s face.
“You’re beyond reasoning.”
“Am I? Sorry. Still, I’m glad we can talk... Just to check, if black magicians stopped making drugs, would you stop hating them?”
“Are you asking that sincerely?”
“Yeah... I’m curious why you hate black magicians.”
“I hate black magicians because they harm people without hesitation to satisfy their own desires and worship vile demons. They’re evil by their very existence.”
“Hmm... Aren’t there black magicians who aren’t like that?”
“Maybe if pigs had wings.”
“......A metaphor saying they don’t exist? I might not be understanding it right.”
“Yes, exactly. There’s no such thing in this world. Why? Are you trying to say you’re not?”
Oliver thought for a moment.
“No, I don’t worship demons, but I do kill people when I need to.”
“Ha...!”
As expected, Johanna scoffed in derision.
“But doesn’t everyone do that?”
“What?”
“Don’t people kill others when they need to?”
“......What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that?”
“Sorry if I made you angry. It’s just, the orphanage director, the mine supervisor, the innkeeper, black magicians, magicians, my master... they all tried to kill me whenever it suited them.”
“......”
“So I thought it was fine. That it’s okay to kill when necessary... That’s why I killed the inn waitress, Tom, the gangsters, the magician, and my master. Is that not allowed?”
“Of course not! What do you think life even is?”
“But didn’t you kill the gangsters too, Knight?”
At that instant, Johanna’s heart skipped briefly, as if struck in a sore spot.
“That was... unavoidable. They were criminals collaborating with black magicians and ignored our final call for surrender under God’s mercy. It was a necessary measure.”
“Oh......”
Oliver nodded. I see, he seemed to say.
“Sorry, but who decided it was unavoidable?”
“......?”
“Did God tell you that?”
“Are you blaspheming God right now?!”
“No, I really don’t know... But from what little I understand, God seems to seek out both black magicians and gangsters equally. I doubt He’d say something like that.”
“How dare you claim to know?! Are you mocking the will of our Pater Church, sworn to protect the human realm from black magicians and demons? Every nation has agreed to it!”
“......In other words, God didn’t specifically permit it? At least you haven’t witnessed it?”
Johanna’s beautiful face twisted in rage, yet she couldn’t find words to retort.
It was as if someone had laid bare the doubts she harbored within, leaving her deeply shaken.
“......Is your goal to shatter my faith with that wicked tongue?”
“No. No... Not at all. I like you just as you are now.”
Johanna frowned and looked at Oliver again.
Unable to organize his thoughts, Oliver explained in a scattered manner.
“Ah, I’m not sure how to put this. I like you, Knight. You’re beautiful.”
“How dare you utter such filth...”
“Huh? Sorry if that offended you. I just mean your emotions are beautiful and fascinating...”
“......?”
“Why did you become a holy knight?”
“......What are you getting at?”
“As you know, I watched you from afar ever since you started fighting the gangsters. You don’t even seem to like fighting, so why do you fight so fiercely?”
“......”
“When people go into battle, they’re all consumed by the thrill of victory, a sense of superiority from their strength, and the urge to destroy. But with you, it was like a blank canvas of pure conviction. You even looked sad when driving off the gangsters.”
“......”
“I’m curious about the reason. Why do you fight?”
“......I fight not because it brings me joy, but because it’s my duty. Not because I enjoy harming others, but because someone has to do it.”
“Is that so? Is that why you could face death so calmly?”
At that, Johanna showed rare agitation.
The moment when Oliver had extracted her emotions, and all but one eye and her mouth had been swallowed by darkness.
“......What was that, exactly?”
“Pardon?”
“The darkness that blanketed the sewers. Even though this was my first official mission, I’ve never heard of anything like it.”
“Ah, I don’t really know either.”
“......”
“It’s true. It was my first time extracting emotions, so there’s a lot I don’t understand. Sorry if it upset you. Please relax.”
“I don’t understand why I’m even talking to you like this.”
“Because I want to know about that beautiful light.”
“Beautiful light?”
“Yes, more precisely, a beautiful emotion. It shines brilliantly right before someone dies. I’ve seen it three times now, and you’re the only survivor... So I’m asking—what were you thinking in that final moment?”
Oliver straightened his posture and leaned in attentively. There was even something childlike about him.
Johanna stared at him for a long while before countering with a question of her own.
“Before I answer, let me ask first. Why are you so curious about that?”
“Uh...... Because it’s pretty?”
His voice carried uncertainty, as if he didn’t fully know himself.
Come to think of it, it was natural. There was no specific reason for learning black magic or seeking beautiful emotions.
That pursuit was the goal in itself.
“You went through all this trouble just because it’s pretty?”
“Yeah...... Is that not okay?”
The moment she heard that, Johanna’s anger and disgust toward Oliver softened, replaced by a new gaze: pity.
“You’re... broken.”
“Broken?”
“Yes. Tell me—how many times have you truly felt sad? Or angry?”
Oliver pondered seriously.
Trying to recall times he’d felt sad or angry.
At the orphanage, when he was framed and beaten by the director? No.
When he was tricked and sold to the mines? No.
When the kids he worked with in the mines got beaten? No.
When the supervisor spat in his face and called him a bastard orphan? No.
When he nearly died at the inn? No.
When the mid-grade disciple slapped him? No.
When Andrew tried to kill him? No.
When his master tried to sacrifice him? No.
“Hmm...... Not many. Ah! I felt a little sad when I couldn’t extract the beautiful light and it just vanished. And when I saw the woman who lost her maternal love.”
“That’s not sadness. That’s regret. Like a child who couldn’t get the toy they wanted.”
“Ah...... Is it?”
Crossing his arms, Oliver mulled it over. Was it really?
Then Johanna spoke again.
“You’re broken. You can’t feel proper emotions. That’s why you chase black magic and beautiful emotions.”
“Is that the case?”
“At least, that’s how it looks to me. I’ll help you.”
“Oh... How?”
“Stop what you’re doing right now, repent, and pay for your sins.”
“......And after I’ve paid?”
“Don’t stay in this darkness. Come out into the world. Meet people there and learn how to live as a human.”
“What does it mean to live as a human?”
“Wake up early, work diligently, make friends and neighbors, laugh together, cry together. I’ll help you.”
Oliver could tell Johanna’s words were sincere.
She truly pitied him and wanted to help.
She really was a kind woman. He’d never met anyone with emotions so beautiful and warm.
“That’s... quite an interesting story. Sincerely. But it’d be difficult.”
“Why?”
“Normally, I might’ve given it a try. But I have promises to keep and debts to pay. I should handle those first.”
“......Do you think keeping us locked up like this will solve your problems?”
“No. But they say a negotiation’s coming up soon, so it should be fine.”
“Negotiation?”
“Ah, sorry... I wasn’t supposed to mention that. Please forget I said it.”
Oliver stood up. Johanna tried to rise in excitement, but the chains on her wrists clanked and held her back.
“Damn...!”
As he turned to leave, Oliver looked back at Johanna.
“Knight Johanna... Thank you so much for what you said today. I feel like I’ve learned a little about what I need. Truly grateful.”
“Hey...!”
Johanna tried to say something more, but Oliver left without listening.
He’d gotten roughly everything he wanted, after all.
Afterward, a week passed, and Johanna was released.