The Price of Being a Role Model
"Sigh..."
A heavy sigh escaped my lips.
'Oh, I always went to sleep right at ten o'clock!'
My footsteps ground to a halt. Was this for real? She slept at exactly ten? A medical student? How was that even possible?
I recalled my own days in medical school. Ten o'clock? Sleeping at ten? And she did that all the way until graduation?
'...Hmm.'
Right, let's ask the geniuses. Let's see if it was actually possible. I needed to know if I was the only one who had slaved away like a dog, or if this junior of mine had truly descended from another dimension.
I slumped onto the musty mattress in the duty room and logged into the blue forum.
'...Hmm, so even by these ghosts' standards, she's completely out of her mind.'
I felt an odd sense of relief. Yes, I wasn't the weird one. That relentless junior of mine was just an anomaly. How was a goody-two-shoes like her going to survive in this living hell...
"Dr. Han! Please take a look at the patient who was just triaged!"
At the nurse's urgent shout, I closed the gallery window and sprang to my feet.
"Ah, on my way!"
***
4:00 AM. A drunk middle-aged man was screaming that his head was bleeding. In reality, the laceration was on his chin.
5:00 AM. A man in his twenties was brought in, clutching his side in sudden agony. A CT scan revealed a kidney stone. The screams of a man suffering from renal colic in the dead of night were more agonizing than any rock band's high-pitched screeching.
Several hours passed like that.
And finally, morning arrived.
There was me, looking like a rotting, half-dead fish after pulling an all-nighter; Baek Eunseo, whose eyes were somehow still sparkling with life; and beside her, Choi Sumin, whose soul had already departed her body. We stood side by side at the station, wrapping up the last of our charts.
"It's finally over..."
I logged out of the EMR and leaned my entire body against the back of the chair.
'Yessssss!!!! I'm off work!!!!'
I practically floated out of my chair. My jacket stuffed in the locker, my wallet, my car keys... wait, no, my transit card.
"...Are you really that happy?"
Baek Eunseo, who was packing her things next to me, looked at me with fascination.
"Oh."
I froze for a moment. Had my expression been that obvious?
"Well. Yes. It's clock-out time, after all."
I cleared my throat, trying to regain the dignity of a second-year resident. "Aren't you happy? You stayed up all night too."
"No! I'm happy too! Today, I got to learn EKGs from you and see patients! It was a truly rewarding day!"
...Rewarding?
Baek Eunseo slung her bag over her shoulder and bowed ninety degrees to me once again.
"Doctor, I can really message you with questions anytime, right?"
She looked me straight in the eye, as if trying to secure a binding contract.
Well, I was her role model. A role model had to show this much grace.
"Of course! Ask away anytime!" I waved my hand dismissively, answering with grand generosity. "It's a hundred times better than keeping your questions to yourself and letting things blow up. Just send them, even if it's the middle of the night."
"Really? Thank you so much, Doctor! See you on our next shift!"
With an expression as if she had won the world, Baek Eunseo scurried out of the locker room.
I stared blankly at her energetic departure.
'Well, how many questions could she possibly have? She'll probably just ask about a couple of EKGs and that'll be it.'
I shrugged and left the locker room.
...At that moment, I had absolutely no idea. I didn't know that I would bitterly regret those words—"ask me anytime"—starting from the very morning of my precious day off.
***
9:00 AM.
Without any alarm, I woke up to the blinding sunlight.
"Ugh..."
Crack.
Every joint in my body let out a creaking protest.
My precious day off. My golden holiday.
Lying in bed, I drew up the perfect plan for the day.
Step 1: Lie like a corpse all morning.
Step 2: Wake up around lunchtime and reheat yesterday's leftover chicken.
Step 3: Empty my brain while watching streaming shows.
Step 4: Order more chicken for dinner (roasted this time).
Step 5: Fall asleep while cursing tomorrow's shift.
Perfect. There couldn't possibly be a more flawless plan for a day off.
Just as I was about to close my eyes to execute Step 1—
Ding!
My brow furrowed.
'...Who is it?'
Surely not the hospital?
With a sinking feeling, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand.
A highly unfamiliar name popped up on the screen.
I couldn't bring myself to reply. A first-year. Texting on KakaoTalk at 9 AM on my day off? Why? When I was a first-year, I wouldn't even step on my seniors' shadows.
Ding!
Another message arrived in quick succession.
And then, a blurry photo of an ultrasound, seemingly taken from a textbook or somewhere online.
"Ah."
I sat bolt upright in bed. I squinted at the blurry image.
Gallbladder wall thickening? It did look like it. But if the patient wasn't fasting, it would normally look like that anyway. But was it an artifact? I had no idea.
No, I couldn't just not know. I logged into the gallery.
"Phew."
I let out a sigh of relief. Right, this was obvious. I began typing my reply.
Right. I lay back down on the bed.
***
1:00 PM.
I finally popped yesterday's leftover chicken into the air fryer. It was a sacred moment, right as I was about to sink my teeth into the glistening, juicy chicken.
Ding!
"Arghhhhhhh!!!!"
I put the chicken down, furiously wiped my hands with a wet wipe, and grabbed my phone.
"Aaargh! Why are you asking me rheumatology questions! Am I a rheumatologist?! I'm EM! Emergency Medicine!"
Clutching my hair, I opened the gallery. Shortly after I posted, a comment appeared.
...And so, at 3:00 PM, with the help of Pediatrics Ghost 77, I passionately explained the diagnostic criteria for Kawasaki disease.
At 5:00 PM, with the help of Bone Geek 88, I studied bone marrow.
At 7:00 PM, with the help of a Nephrology Ghost, we debated the differentiating points between ATN and Pre-renal AKI.
And finally, at 9:58 PM.
I was sitting at my desk. On my day off. Why on earth was I doing this on my day off?
Ding!
"Ugh..."
...And so, I unintentionally ended up falling asleep at 10:00 PM, right when my junior went to bed. To be precise, I passed out.
***
The next day, morning shift.
I showered and took a taxi with swollen eyes.
'Did I sleep? I slept, so why am I even more tired...'
As the automatic doors of the ER slid open, I dragged my battered soul inside.
"Hyeonjae!!! Good morning!!!"
From behind, a booming voice with an absurdly high level of energy grabbed me by the collar. It was Lee Min-jae.
You'd think he would have quieted down a bit after becoming a fellow, but that man was as loud as ever.
"Good morning."
"Yes! Another wonderful morning! How have you been... wait, what?"
Lee Min-jae stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing my face.
"What's wrong with your face? Did you eat something bad yesterday? Weren't you off? What did you do on your day off to look like a corpse?"
"...No. Nothing happened. I just had some exhausting business to take care of."
On my next day off, I was turning off my phone. Seriously.