Wrapping Up the First Year (2)
Faced with the cold, hard truth from the gallery ghost, I tried to act cool, muttering, "What do you guys know?" as I closed the window. But the comments had already pierced my heart like daggers. In the professional world, saying "I'll think about it positively" was just the most polite way of saying "piss off." I had failed. But I couldn't give up just yet. Lee Min-jae's crazed eyes and his curse-like words—"The future of our department rests on your shoulders"—refused to leave my mind.
Right, Park Seongjeong wasn't the only one. There were still other interns left. And so, my desperate, pathetic courtship of the interns continued. I prowled the emergency room like a hyena, searching for any intern who looked like they needed help or were struggling.
Just then, I spotted intern Choi Minseong printing out a long strip of paper after running a 12-lead ECG on a patient. I rushed over to him at the speed of light.
"Hey! Minseong!"
"Yes, senior?"
"Give me that ECG strip. Here, let me take it. I'll drop it off at the station on my way. You look busy."
I practically snatched the printout from his hands. Choi Minseong stared at me, looking utterly bewildered. I could practically read the thoughts flashing across his eyes: Why the hell is this guy suddenly being so nice? I offered him the most benevolent, merciful smile I could muster.
My one-sided acts of kindness didn't stop there. Over at the triage desk, I saw intern Park Seongjeong sorting through a mountain of emergency patient classification sheets. That was another classic piece of grunt work. Once again, I made my heroic entrance—though, of course, "heroic" was strictly according to my own subjective narrative. It was closer to playing hero.
"Seongjeong!"
"Yes, senior..."
"Don't worry about organizing the triage notes! Stop, stop! That's a senior's job! Hands off!"
I snatched the stack of papers right out of Park Seongjeong's hands.
"Emergency Medicine is a highly advanced department with none of those outdated, toxic customs. The seniors handle all this busywork! You go see another patient! That's your real job!"
At my words, Park Seongjeong's face became a chaotic mix of confusion and deep emotion. However, right next to him, I saw the nurses' shoulders shaking violently as they desperately tried to hold back their laughter. Is this funny to you? I'm gritting my teeth and doing my absolute best here. Don't laugh, dammit.
It was right when I was in the middle of this frantic image-making campaign. Kim Ji-hoon, who had been watching the entire spectacle from the corner of the station, looked at me as if I were some kind of insect.
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"I think it's about time you stopped."
"Stopped what?"
"You know, this 'kind senior' cosplay. It's giving me secondhand embarrassment just watching you."
"Cosplay?! You bastard! I'm helping my juniors out of the pure goodness of my heart!"
At my indignant outburst, Kim Ji-hoon clicked his tongue.
"Oh, you're so kind that you dumped that patient with something stuck up his ass onto an intern so cleanly?"
"..."
For a moment, I was completely speechless. This bastard was hitting me below the belt with cold, hard facts. Let's fight fair and square with some fabricated excuses.
"Well, that was for educational purposes! It was a senior's deep consideration to give an intern some invaluable experience!"
"Bullshit."
With that, Kim Ji-hoon reached over and took a sip of my instant mix coffee. *Slurp.* He took another gulp of my coffee, then let out a deep sigh.
"Sigh... I wonder how many will apply this year..."
I frowned at his sudden muttering.
"Why? What are you worried about?"
"What am I worried about?"
Kim Ji-hoon looked at me as if I were some naive idiot who knew nothing of the world.
"Don't you know the interns are almost done with their rotation? It's application season. The fate of our department next year rests entirely in the hands of those fresh-faced kids."
Kim Ji-hoon gestured with his chin toward the interns who were hurriedly carrying patient charts in the distance.
"Surely we won't end up with zero applicants, right?"
I found his self-deprecating worry absurd.
"What are you talking about? We filled all our slots. Our quota was four, and all four of us—me, you, Jo Suyeon, and Choi Min-jun—came in. We weren't understaffed last year either, so why are you worrying already?"
Instead of being comforted, Kim Ji-hoon's expression grew even more despairing.
"You dumbass," he said. "That was a miracle."
"What?"
"How many second-years do we have right now? Two! Just two! They started with four, but one quit after six months and ran off to open a private clinic, and the other just went MIA out of nowhere one day! And we have three third-years and three fourth-years! Our year is the only one in the last five years to completely fill the quota. We're the anomaly, you bastard!"
...Huh? Now that I thought about it, he was right.
"Then why did we..."
"It was because of that drama back then! Everyone got high on the hype and swarmed in, thinking, 'Emergency Medicine is so damn cool!' And right around then, Professor Cheon Eunjeong, who was amazing at lecturing, did some incredible recruiting. Hell, you even dragged Jo Suyeon into EM yourself."
...Well, that was a reasonable point. And yes, I was indeed the one who dragged Jo Suyeon into Emergency Medicine. Sorry, Suyeon.
"But what about this year? The drama's over, and Professor Cheon barely gives lectures anymore. Among the interns, our ER is already rumored to be a living hell that you should avoid at all costs. Surely we won't actually get zero applicants, right? We need at least one person..."
Kim Ji-hoon's voice trailed off, growing softer.
An unfilled quota. A shortage. To residents, that word was practically a death sentence. The burden of a missing pair of hands fell entirely on those left behind, translating directly into more night shifts and less rest. If no one applied next year, the four of us—me, Kim Ji-hoon, Jo Suyeon, and Choi Min-jun—would have to endure a hell far worse than this for the next three years.
I tried my best to suppress the rising anxiety inside me and slapped Kim Ji-hoon on the back.
"Ugh, stop being such a wuss. It'll work out somehow."
I stared at the station. If we got zero... wouldn't our night shifts increase by at least 1.5 times next year? Fuck. Just imagining it was horrifying.
As the two of us sat side by side, sinking into the abyss of despair while painting a bleak picture of our future, a voice called out to us.
"Um... excuse me, doctor."
It was an unfamiliar, clear, and youthful voice. Looking up, we saw a woman in a white coat standing next to the station, clutching a manila envelope tightly in her hands.
"Ah, yes. How can I help..."
I started to answer reflexively, but stopped mid-sentence when I saw her face. Huh? That face. Neatly tied-back hair, clear, bright eyes behind round glasses. Baek Eunseo? The three characters written on her nametag. Hmm... I'd heard that name somewhere before. She definitely looked familiar. A face that had flashed by during an unforgettable moment. I desperately racked my brain.
When was it? When? Ah. That day. The very day I was possessed by Mes-ui Sin and sliced open a patient's abdomen in the ER Resuscitation Room. In the midst of that living hell—where blood splattered, seniors gasped in horror, and I barked orders in informal speech—she was the intern who had stood there with a terrified face, frantically handing me gauze!
The shock of that day had been so immense that I barely remembered the faces of the others who were present, but the face of this intern, looking like a frightened rabbit, had remained faintly etched in my memory.
"Oh, wh-what's the matter?"
I stuttered without realizing it. The envelope she was holding felt ominous. Had some issue arisen from that day, bringing her here to find me? Did she receive a bad evaluation on her internship because of me?
"Um, it's about the new resident application," she began. "Normally, we're supposed to submit it directly to the Office of Education and Training. But the announcement said that for Emergency Medicine, Laboratory Medicine, and Pathology, the departments collect the documents directly through their respective administration offices. I was wondering where the administration office is..."
Resident... application? My brain stalled for a moment, unable to process the meaning of the words she had just uttered.
"Ah... oh, really? An application? Then right now... uh..."
With a trembling voice, I asked the single most important question.
"Are you applying for the first-year EM residency? Or is it your second choice...?"
Please. Please. God, Buddha, Allah. If you haven't abandoned me, please.
Meeting my desperate gaze, Baek Eunseo replied with a bright, sunny smile.
"Oh, I'm applying for EM! It's my first choice!"
The entire world began to move in slow motion. It felt as if a halo was shining behind Baek Eunseo. No, unless my eyes were playing tricks on me, there was definitely a halo. A savior angel descending upon the emergency room. Our Messiah. A living saint who would guarantee my days off next year.
I desperately controlled my expression to suppress the fireworks and wild cheers exploding inside me. I bit my lower lip to stop the corners of my mouth from twitching upward on their own.
"Ah! Yes! Good thinking! That is an excellent decision!"
I pointed a stiff, creaking finger toward the distance.
"Over there! See that administration window over there? You can hand it in right there! Just tell them you're here to apply for Emergency Medicine, and they'll guide you very kindly!"
"Yes! Thank you, senior!"
Baek Eunseo gave a polite ninety-degree bow and scurried off toward the administration window.
I slowly turned my head toward Kim Ji-hoon, who was sitting beside me, completely dazed. And then, I grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Did you see that?! Did you see that, Kim Ji-hoon?! She's coming!!! That angel just said she's applying!!! We don't have zero applicants!!! We're going to survive!!!"
I practically wailed, shaking Kim Ji-hoon's shoulders like a madman.
We didn't have zero. A first-year was coming.