2
# Chapter 2
The weather was cold.
That much made sense.
It was winter, after all.
But why was I standing in the middle of the street instead of at home?
Why was it daytime instead of night?
And above all...
"Jihoo. Are you okay?"
Why was Hana standing right in front of me?
I couldn't make sense of it.
"Are you sick?"
Not just that.
Why was the Hana from twenty years ago—the young Hana I'd just seen in that photograph—standing before me?
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand what was happening.
"Is it because you're cold?"
The moment her hand touched my cheek...
The moment the warmth of her palm reached me...
"..."
The question of why no longer mattered.
"Hana... You're Yoo Hana, right?"
I asked with a trembling voice.
"Huh? You really are sick, aren't you?"
She answered in the same trembling voice.
It was that familiar tone she always used whenever she worried about me.
"Hana..."
It really was the Hana I knew.
Without another word, I pulled her tightly into my arms.
"W-What are you doing? We're in the middle of the street."
Her warm breath brushed against my chest.
"I... I can't breathe."
Despite her protest, I only hugged her tighter.
The warmth she gave off was simply too precious to let go.
---
A little later...
"Feeling better now?"
"...Yeah."
We were sitting across from each other in a nearby café, drinking coffee.
I'd told her I was fine so she wouldn't worry, but honestly, I still couldn't understand what was going on.
"It's 2023... right?"
"...You're definitely not okay. Do you know that's the third time you've asked me that?"
At least I'd confirmed one thing.
It really was the year 2023.
Today's date was November 26, 2023.
Exactly twenty years in the past.
But accepting that as reality was an entirely different matter.
"I really came back..."
"You're the one who's really gone crazy."
I'd returned.
Twenty years into the past.
"Hana, right? The living Hana. The Hana I know."
"Why do you keep asking if I'm alive? Are you trying to curse me or something?"
To a time when Hana was still alive.
"..."
"D-Don't cry. Seriously, what's gotten into you today? You're making me want to cry too."
As time passed, I gradually began accepting this reality.
Not because I was unusually calm about impossible, supernatural events.
It was simply because the Hana standing before me was exactly the same Hana I'd remembered.
The Hana I'd thought about countless times.
The Hana I'd missed so desperately that every detail of her had become engraved in my memory.
"Is this because of the additional audition?"
"Hm?"
The additional audition?
I thought I'd started accepting everything, but hearing something I hadn't expected threw me off again.
"If it's stressing you out that much, do you want to cancel it? I can talk to the company for you..."
The additional audition.
The company.
"You'll talk to the company?"
"Huh? Well... you looked so stressed that I thought maybe..."
November 26, 2023.
An audition that Hana had enough influence to speak to the company about.
"I'm Going to School."
Right.
I'm Going to School.
She had to be talking about that audition.
It was Director Na Chanho's next film, a project that had already drawn attention in the independent film industry.
Selected for CS Film's annual Independent Film Support Project, it would later be recognized as the year's biggest
independent film success.
And...
It had almost become my debut.
The role of Han Jinil had been practically mine.
No...
It had been 99.9% confirmed.
"I guess what happened at the last audition..."
But during what was essentially a formality, I'd delivered the kind of awful performance people called "wooden acting."
Because of that, an additional audition had been arranged.
"Yeah... That happened."
To confirm my memory, I pulled out my phone and opened KakaoTalk.
[ Director Na Chanho ]
[ I'm Going to School Cast Group ]
[ Assistant Director Jo Woori ]
'So it really is.'
The chat list confirmed everything.
[ Assistant Director Jo Woori - Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just do what you've been doing at the
additional audition. Rest well this weekend... See you Monday. ]
Reading the latest message from Assistant Director Jo Woori brought everything back.
Right.
November 26.
Only one day had passed since the first audition.
The additional audition was two days away.
Which meant...
I'd have to face it in two days.
"Ah... I brought it up again, didn't I? Sorry."
"No. It's okay. Tell the company."
"...Huh? Seriously?"
I had no idea how I'd returned to the past.
Or how something like this was even possible.
But I had been given another chance.
And this time...
I wasn't going to repeat the same mistake.
"I'm quitting acting."
---
I was an orphan.
I grew up with nothing.
That's why I learned to survive ruthlessly.
If there was one loaf of bread for three people, I was the one who ate it.
If there were two loaves for three people, I'd eat both myself.
If no one gave me anything, I'd take it.
If I couldn't take it...
I'd destroy it.
That was how I survived.
"Hey, Kang Jihoo. You're going, right?"
"Going where?"
"The group theater trip. The one the city is sponsoring."
That was how I first encountered theater.
The play was called Gyeongsu and Gyeongsu's Father.
It told the story of Gyeongsu, a teenager going through a rebellious phase, and his complicated relationship with his
father.
But instead of the story itself...
I found myself captivated by the actors on stage.
'He's probably nothing like that in real life.'
'So how can he speak and move as if he really is that person?'
'Could I ever do something like that?'
I fell headfirst into the world of acting.
"Jihoo, you should give it a try."
"Seriously. It'd be a waste to let a face like yours go unused."
Around that time, I started hearing things like that from people around me.
So I made up my mind to study acting.
I couldn't afford an acting academy.
Instead, I bought a used collection of plays containing Gyeongsu and Gyeongsu's Father and practiced reading the lines
aloud by myself.
"Jihoo... Do you really have to become an actor?"
Unfortunately...
The people around me weren't very encouraging.
"Jihoo, you could become a singer. Or a dancer. Heck, even a politician or a con artist. Just... don't become an actor."
Even the people who had encouraged me in the beginning ended up saying that.
They were right.
I had no talent for acting.
To be precise...
I struggled tremendously to understand the characters I played.
To truly become them.
But I refused to give up.
I read that script over and over again.
The parts I couldn't understand, I read hundreds of times.
The parts I did understand, I still read dozens more.
Because it was a used book, it quickly fell apart.
That didn't stop me.
I scraped together what little money I had to buy a new copy.
Then I read that one until it fell apart too.
"Wait... Jihoo, you really don't have any acting experience?"
"Seriously... This isn't acting anymore. Gyeongsu himself just walked in."
That was how, despite having absolutely no acting experience, I landed the lead role of Gyeongsu.
Anyone who didn't know the whole story would have mistaken me for a genius.
That was also why I managed to earn an audition for Han Jinil in I'm Going to School, one of the most anticipated
independent films of that year.
'But I can't do that anymore.'
I couldn't devote that amount of time and mental energy to every role.
Well...
Technically, I could.
I could spend days and nights doing nothing but reading the script.
I could live near the filming location, barely going home whether I had scenes that day or not.
I'd done it once before.
I could do it again.
"Honey, don't worry about me. Just focus on filming."
"I'm always on your side. Good luck today."
But if I did...
The same tragedy would happen again.
While I buried myself in scripts...
While I practically lived on set...
Hana would be persuading my father-in-law, who disapproved of me.
She'd be dealing with the employees at his company.
She'd be taking care of producers, directors, fellow actors, staff members, and reporters.
Her health would deteriorate after pregnancy complications and a miscarriage.
Even while struggling with severe anxiety, she'd continue supporting me.
And eventually...
Just like before...
The endless overwork and unbearable stress would take her away from me.
"No matter what anyone says, I'm not acting anymore."
For what was already the fourth time in my life...
I made the same declaration.
'I won't repeat the same mistake.'
Even though she'd heard those words before...
To Hana, it was as if she were hearing them for the first time.
"Why? Why would you throw away talent like yours?"
She reacted exactly the same way she had before.
As if history were repeating itself.
'The truth is... I was never talented.'
'Everything I achieved came from sacrificing the time I should have spent with you.'
'From pouring every ounce of my life into acting instead of into you.'
'I don't know why I've been given another chance.'
'But this time, I won't make the same mistake.'
'I don't care if it's singing, dancing, or anything else.'
'As long as it's not acting... I'll spend my life with you.'
Those were words I couldn't bring myself to say aloud.
"There's a reason I can't explain. I trust you'll understand."
"...What are you talking about?"
Unfortunately...
She didn't.
Bzzzz.
Bzzzz.
"Ah! I'm in trouble!"
Her phone vibrated on the table.
"I promised to meet Yewon and Yoonji in Hongdae! What time is it?"
The moment she checked the caller and the time, the color drained from her face.
"I'm dead! Honey, listen. Even if you cancel this shoot, don't you dare quit acting. Got it?"
She hurriedly packed up her things while talking.
"We're studying together for finals, so I'll be late. I'll call you when I'm heading home!"
"..."
Watching her rush out of the café...
I couldn't help feeling a little deflated.
Here I was, making a life-changing decision with all the determination in the world...
And the person it was all for had already run off to study for her exams.
Then again...
Around this time, Hana really had been buried in finals.
From my perspective, it was a moment of great resolve.
From hers...
I probably just seemed strangely emotional today.
'First, I should go home.'
'I need to figure out exactly what's happening...'
'And decide what to do next.'
I finished the rest of my coffee in one gulp and stood up.
Then...
'...Where was my house again?'
---
Fortunately, it didn't take long for me to remember.
It was the first place I'd ever called home after leaving the orphanage.
A place impossible to forget.
Leaving the café, I walked straight in the opposite direction of the station until the familiar sign appeared.
Shinchon Shine Gosiwon.
Without hesitation, I went inside.
'It's been a long time...'
The damp air.
The faint smell of mold lingering throughout the building.
Everything looked exactly as I remembered.
Even the room doors still used old-fashioned keys instead of digital locks.
Searching my pocket, I found the key.
I'd come this far.
There was no reason to hesitate.
I unlocked the door and stepped inside.
"Wow..."
The bleak room before me made me gasp.
There was almost no furniture.
Just a desk.
A bed.
A clothes rack.
There were barely any belongings either.
It looked as though an unusually tidy thief had cleaned the place out.
The only warmth in the room came from the household items Hana had given me.
"Huh?"
As I quietly looked around, weighed down by complicated emotions...
Something on the desk caught my attention.
Stacks of paper.
The scripts and screenplays Hana had helped me obtain.
Almost unconsciously, I walked over.
'I'd already started...'
The one that stood out most was, of course, the screenplay for I'm Going to School.
The staples binding it together had already loosened from being read so many times.
"Jihoo... What is this? Have you never cursed anyone in your life?"
"No, that's not it. You were great when you played Gyeongsu. So why do your swear words sound so awkward now?"
"This is completely different from your Gyeongsu."
Despite all the preparation...
I had stunned everyone at the audition.
When someone's performance is unbelievably bad...
People don't even get angry.
They just become bewildered.
That was exactly how my acting had been.
"What's wrong with him...? Is he too nervous?"
"Jihoo, take a few more days and practice."
"You don't have to perform the assigned scene. Pick any scene from the script that suits you."
Since my casting had been almost guaranteed...
And thanks to Assistant Director Jo Woori insisting so strongly...
I'd been given another chance through an additional audition.
Of course...
I delivered another disastrous performance there as well.
Only years later did I finally get a proper opportunity as an actor.
'Back then... I never understood Han Jinil as a character.'
I had no intention of taking the role.
No intention of continuing as an actor.
Still...
Curious, I picked up the screenplay.
'Let's start with the very first scene—the one I never understood.'
The moment I turned to Han Jinil's first appearance—
Flash!
"Huh?"
The scenery around me changed.
No.
It had already changed.
"W-What?"
I blankly looked around.
"A school?"
That's right.
A classroom.
Instead of the barren gosiwon room...
I was standing inside a high school classroom.
And it wasn't only my surroundings that had changed.
I was wearing a high school uniform.
On the name tag sewn onto my jacket was a single name.
Han Jinil.
Han Jinil.
A character from I'm Going to School.
The very role I'd auditioned for.
"Hey, Han Jinil. What are you doing? Hurry up."
"...Me?"
Which meant...
'Did I... become Han Jinil?'