Catching Poni and Seizing the Status Window
Thud!! (*≧Д≦*)
Boom!!
"You're not getting away this time!!!"
Whoosh!!!
"Hah!!"
I poured every ounce of strength into a massive leap, stretching my arms out as far as they could go. No way I'm letting it slip away!!
Squirm squirm squeeeal!!! Squeeeeal squeeeeal~!!!!
"Gotcha!"
"In your dreams!"
I couldn't miss this chance. I'd already fallen for it once— from now on, I'd be twice as careful. I shoved the wriggling Poni in my grip straight into the insect collecting jar I'd prepared in advance.
It thrashed like crazy, refusing to go in, but Poni was no match for me in strength.
Poni zipped around wildly inside the jar, huffing and puffing as it unleashed a barrage of curses.
I let out a deep sigh. It wasn't like I enjoyed doing this.
"You think I like doing this? Kidnapping and imprisonment? Why's my life like this?"
"This happened because your attitude's the problem. You always bail when things get busy. Catching you any other way was impossible."
"See? Even now, you're just doing your own thing. You never listen to me."
I figured Poni needed time to cool off and lose some steam. Some alone time oughta do it.
"Look, I swear I have zero plans to mess with you. All I want is a proper talk. You don't seem ready right now, so I'll give you some space. Five minutes—calm down by then."
I left Poni slumped in the jar and stepped out.
I knew leaving a mysterious entity like Poni alone was risky.
That's why I prepared. Hidden camera!
It'd probably clam up in front of me, but alone? Let's see. I fired up the computer screen. The jar was perfectly positioned—Poni in crystal clear view.
A stream of complaints poured out in speech bubble after bubble.
Come on, spill something juicy. I'm dying of curiosity here, you little punk.
Poni's attitude had flipped from friendly at first to barely talking to me. I had to uncover why.
Commission?
What the hell was that? I was puzzled, but it was clearly about me. Looked like Poni had been siphoning something illegally behind my back and got busted.
Probably coins, right?
Thinking back, it made sense. Only Poni could check how many coins I'd earned, and it was the one telling me how much my stats went up. Coins ticked up by 1 per creampie, but bonus coins varied—1 sometimes, 2 others. Easy to skim if you wanted.
"So you dipped into that. And got caught."
Or it could fake a 0.20% stat gain as 0.10% to pocket an extra coin. Sneaky.
If I hadn't figured it out, I'd have been played for a total sucker.
Skimmed commissions without a word. Early days, so not much taken. But the fact it tried to scam me didn't change.
Since it's still my handler, they've probably swept it under the rug up top. No big loss, so let it slide.
My opinion as the victim? Not consulted. Problem was, I couldn't exactly sue Poni or its mystery bosses. A mere human like me demanding justice from superior beings? They'd laugh in my face.
Still, not totally helpless.
I had a way to leverage this intel.
Poni's weakness in my hands now?
Up till now, Poni had been super uncooperative. Friendly at first 'cause it planned to skim commissions long-term, but busted by the bosses, so motivation tanked. No reason to think it'd improve— it'd just get lazier, more obstructive. I'd suffer from lack of info.
Time to blackmail some cooperation.
Honestly, I'd felt bad trapping it in the jar while planning this. Now? Zero guilt.
Five minutes had come and gone ages ago. I headed back to the room.
Poni started cursing again as I entered. I strolled up casually.
"If I'm the kidnapper trash, what does that make you—hiding your crimes all bold and shameless?"
"Caught skimming commissions behind my back, huh."
Poni's face went ghost white, stammering hard.
"You just said it yourself. Got video evidence too. No denying it, right?"
I pulled out the hidden camera. Poni finally pieced it together, staring in dazed shock.
"Looks like first offense and small amount, so they let it slide easy. But I'm the victim here— you lot sweeping it under the rug ain't fair."
"Haha, sue? Nah, not how I wanna handle it."
Pale as a sheet, but still talking big.
"Cooperate so I can trust you again. Knowing this, how can I let you handle my coins? Can't check earnings or stats without you. Honestly, I'd swap handlers if I could."
Poni shook its head frantically. Truth be told, even if they sent a replacement, I'd refuse. No guarantee it'd be better than this scam artist.
Best play: Sweet-talk Poni for gains, flip our dynamic.
Make it the underdog, me the boss.
Desperate and firm— I'd hit its Achilles heel dead-on.
"Why not? It can happen."
"You're just denying it 'cause you don't wanna get demoted, right?"
Speech bubble stalled. Panic setting in— wings trembling.
"All so you could leech off me forever. Me adapting quick means coins rolling in."
Never imagined it'd covet coins. Only realized post-bust that coins weren't just for stats— tradable too.
Think I'd let you off for squeezing me dry? I stared coldly at the bawling Poni.
It finally realized I wasn't letting this go, sniffling to a stop.
Oh ho? The one for knocking up ten women?
"That the real deal status window? Not some cheap knockoff?"
"You've already done trash."
No bubble. Crying again? No idea how it got sloppy enough to get caught, but unchecked, it'd have sucked me dry forever. Scamming takes smarts and talent.
A rising con artist like this? Time to sink my straw in early.
I grinned at the teary, pale Poni.
Payback for ignoring me all this time.
Wonder if it'd learn I could leech too.
As compensation, I got Poni's status window. Well, technically Poni's used one. Felt like buying secondhand, but as it said, status windows are pricey.
Not the only win. Borrowed Poni's ID for 'special items' too. Huge score.
Illegal? Yeah. But what can it do? It broke the law first.
The more I thought, the madder at Poni. Checked the status window— Poni listed as guardian. That's how it tracked and spent my coins.
"Almost got totally suckered."
Unless I canceled the guardian link myself, Poni could spend freely. Ten-year term. Starts small, ends with grand theft.
"Fuckin' dogshit system."
No hidden cam? Sucked dry for a decade.
The more amazing the status window seemed, the hotter my rage at Poni.
"Probably crying again? What a sap."
Could ditch Poni now it'd skimmed its fill. Status window was worth keeping. But dumping it hurt me too— needed ID for buys/deliveries. Not Rakote ID, obviously.
So, stuck keeping Poni.
If it vanishes, new handler comes. Hate that more.
Lucky it was a rookie scammer. A pro? I'd be robbed blind. Info's king— ignorance gets you screwed.
Poni, figuring its survival, promised no handler swap in exchange for lending status window and ID.