Chapter 37
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 37
Her heart sank under his gaze. Like a dog trying to read its master’s every mood, she feared he would find her tedious and call the whole thing off.
There were still so many things she wanted to say. This wasn't part of our agreement. If I accept this, it's no different from being paid for my services. Once I'm indebted to you, the balance of our relationship will only tilt further. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to utter a single word, her lips merely parting in silence.
"If it's that offensive, just throw it away."
"How could I do that…?"
His gaze was ice-cold, as if telling her to stop making such a fuss. Perhaps she was overreacting, just as he implied. Was this sort of thing common between men and women in the capital? Maybe River Ross was the kind of man who showered every woman he briefly dated with gifts of this caliber.
"Are you not coming?"
Vanessa startled and looked up. He clearly had no intention of discussing it further. His dark, heavy expression suggested the lingering silence annoyed him, and a knot of anxiety tightened in her chest. Everything had been perfect just moments ago—before she had reacted so sensitively.
Before she could overthink it, her body moved on its own. Hesitantly, Vanessa stepped in front of him and held out her hand.
"Then let's just hold hands while we walk."
"…Your hand?"
"It's a rare, fun day. We can discuss this later. I don't want us to be upset with each other right now."
Theodore slowly steadied his breathing. The heavy, tedious sensation—like a lead weight dragging him down—had vanished the moment their eyes met. It was almost exasperating. Vanessa clearly had no idea what kind of expression she wore when she looked at him. Or perhaps she didn't know what her own face looked like when she loved someone.
The women he had known were always desperate to hide their feelings—in their expressions, their actions, their words. They feared love would become a weakness or that it would make them seem easy. Even if their feelings were bound to be discovered, they wanted to extract the highest possible price beforehand. The love he knew was a vulgar thing. And yet…
"Please, River?"
She acted as if holding hands was some momentous occasion. Despite having shared every intimacy, her hand hovered awkwardly in the air, trembling as if it didn't know where to go.
If all of that was a lie, then purity surely didn't exist in this world.
"…"
Half on impulse, he took her small hand. As he parted her soft fingers and laced his larger ones between them, Vanessa slowly let out the breath she had been holding. Only then did a faint smile bloom on her lips.
Her racing heartbeat pulsed against his skin where their hands were joined. It seemed she had no intention of hiding it anymore. Unaware that he was smiling himself, Theodore swallowed a rising chuckle. At this rate, the bet he’d made at the start of summer was as good as won. So, what should he demand as his prize?
"Wow."
Just as his thoughts began to drift, a soft gasp escaped from beside him. Vanessa tilted her head back, her eyes sparkling with pure delight.
Sky lanterns floated up to promote the circus, cheap fireworks burst in meager sparks, and the smell of greasy food from street vendors filled the night air. Her face was flushed with a bright smile, utterly captivated by such trivial things.
"River, did you see that? A butterfly-shaped firework just went off!"
"…Yes. I saw it."
"Liar. You were staring at my face the whole time."
When he gave a half-hearted agreement, she shot back a surprisingly cheeky reply. A chuckle escaped him. She was certainly a woman who revealed new sides of herself the longer he kept her around.
Though she would anxiously watch his expression and fret if he so much as frowned, in other ways, she was like a child running blindly forward. She starved for affection but never forgot her dignity, believed justice still existed in the world, and though she appeared fragile, her core was not easily broken. Perhaps, rather than trying to persuade her or make her understand, it would be better to simply accustom her body to his…
At the end of his usual train of thought, a strange sense of dissonance struck him. His feet, which had been moving on autopilot, came to a complete halt.
What on earth am I hoping for?
This summer was a fleeting dream that would never return. He couldn't even hope for a future. Their relationship had been entangled in deception from the very beginning. Even if they were to meet again in high society someday, they would both be in positions where they couldn't even acknowledge this time together.
"River?"
When her companion suddenly stopped, Vanessa, who was walking half a step ahead, turned around. She stepped closer and tilted her head. The clean scent of soap wafted from her.
"What's wrong?"
"…Just a moment."
"Are you feeling unwell?"
The moment he met her earnest, upturned eyes, all dissonance vanished, replaced instantly by a tight, throbbing erection. Swallowing a groan, he rubbed his face with a dry palm. This was the price of living with so little restraint lately.
His past self, who had sneered at men who showered their lovers with gold just to get them into bed one more time, suddenly came back to haunt him. After all, buying out an entire dress shop for Vanessa was no different.
Just as he loosened his grip, floundering in a brief swamp of self-loathing, she spoke.
"Oh, River! Look over there."
Her voice was innocent, as if the dirty mire he was wallowing in had nothing to do with her.
"They're kittens. Oh, the poor things, they brought such tiny babies to sell…"
Her voice was already half-entranced. Letting go of his hand, Vanessa approached a vendor with a box overflowing with kittens. Forgetting she was wearing a brand-new dress, she squatted down without hesitation and picked up a pitifully thin white one.
Even as she pitied the kitten for being separated from its mother, her expression practically melted at the adorable creature in her hands.
For a brief moment, he thought about dragging her to the nearest hotel and making her cry.
"…"
Covering his mouth with his hand, he slowly calmed his ragged breathing. Calm down. He had suggested this outing to clear their heads. They were civilized people. No matter how physical their relationship was, they couldn't spend the entire summer mating like beasts in a warehouse.
Still, he regretted his momentary lack of control. Unaware of his base, filthy thoughts, Vanessa turned back to him and beamed, cradling the scruffy kitten.
Seeing her smile like that… I suppose bringing her out was the right choice.
At that moment, a group of people carrying long iron ladders and stage props for a play blocked his view of her. His throat went dry the instant she vanished from his sight. Just as he was about to hurry over, someone called out to him from the thick crowd.
"Captain?"
Theodore turned his head reflexively, realizing his mistake a second too late. A well-dressed man wearing a fedora was hesitating a few paces away. His uncertain expression solidified into conviction upon seeing Theodore's face clearly. In an instant, the man snapped to attention and saluted.
"Sir! I heard you were in the South, but I never expected to run into you here! It's an honor!"
"Do I know you?"
"I-I am Second Lieutenant Campbell of the 4th Battalion, sir!"
"I believe you have mistaken me for someone else."
Theodore cut off the man's rambling greeting. He’d been fielding subtle glances all evening, but this man’s appearance had made the attention far more blatant.
The Second Lieutenant now looked utterly bewildered. Theodore knew he had to shut this down decisively.
"I am Sergeant Ross. You must have mistaken me for the Captain because you saw me escorting him during the Commander's conference."
"Pardon?"
The man tilted his head in confusion. Theodore glanced anxiously toward where Vanessa had been squatting. The spot was now obscured by a crowd gathering for the start of the circus.
"I must be going."
With those words, Theodore gave the hand signal for 'maintain course without lights'—a sign that, in practice, more often meant keep your mouth shut about what you just saw.
"Ah!"
As if finally understanding, the man let out a choked sound and clumsily lowered his salute. He then mumbled in a stiff, unnatural voice, as if reading from a script.
"Oh, dear. I… seem to have made a grave mistake… and severely misidentified you."
"I understand."
"Then… I shall be on my way."
Turning pale, the man broke into a cold sweat and practically dragged himself away, leaning heavily on his companion's arm. Theodore narrowed his eyes, watching him disappear, when he heard Vanessa let out a startled gasp.
He immediately pushed through the crowd and hurried to her side. The kitten vendor was gone, and Vanessa stood alone, lowering the hand that had been covering her mouth as she saw him approach.
"River…"
Her face was completely pale, contorted with shock.