The High Heavens Shout for Gacha (10)
"Ah! Hurry up and pick scissors! It’s rock!"
"Hey! Look, the screen locked onto the rock button—rock is leading!"
"Who the heck voted for paper?!"
"Shut up!"
The floating Cube seemed to register the angels’ voices in real time. It flickered erratically between the three choices for a long moment before finally settling, indicating a clear majority had formed. The display locked onto the rock button and stayed there.
Watching the screen hold steady like an election broadcast reaching its final tally, I crossed my arms and shouted at the top of my lungs.
"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six…!"
= Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six…! =
The angels blinked at me in confusion for a brief second, but the infectious momentum caught on immediately. They began matching my tempo, bellowing the countdown along with me.
"Eight! Seven! Six!"
"Three! Two! One!"
= Three! Two! One! =
"Three! Two! One!"
Delighted by their newfound camaraderie, the angelic hosts threw their arms around each other's shoulders, swaying side to side as they chanted the final beats of the countdown.
"Alright! Voting is closed! Riding this momentum—Lancelot!"
= Alright! Voting is closed! Riding this momentum—Lancelot! =
Lancelot had been staring intently at me, waiting only for my signal. I gave her a firm nod, prompting her to pull the lever. She squared her shoulders, locked her eyes on the screen, and hauled it down with all her might.
Clunk—!
The moment the lever engaged, images of rock, paper, and scissors flashed rapidly across the center of the monitor. A sharp electronic chime rang out, and the countdown timer flickered into motion.
Beep—
"Contestant Lancelot has pulled the lever! In accordance with the audience's collective will, she's going for the rock button! What will the result be?!"
= Contestant Lancelot has pulled the lever! In accordance with the audience's collective will, she's going for the rock button! What will the result be?! =
"Come on! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
= Five! Four! Three! Two! One! =
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" the angels roared in unison.
Rock! Paper! Scissors!
"Rock! Paper! Scissors!"
= Rock! Paper! Scissors! =
"Rock! Paper! Scissors!"
Smack—!
The second the machine's digitized chime rang out, Lancelot slammed her palm down hard onto the rock button as promised.
PLAYER: ROCK VS MACHINE: PAPER
"..."
"..."
"........."
A chilling quiet descended upon the Great Assembly Hall.
Despite counting down with one heart and soul, the machine had mercilessly handed us a total defeat.
Disheartened murmurs immediately broke out among the angelic audience.
"...Wait... did we just lose?"
"...Just like that? So anticlimactic?"
"...That was kind of lame..."
"...Honestly, it wasn't even that impressive to begin with, was it?"
"...Tsk, are human abilities always this underwhelming?"
"...What a letdown."
Every single whisper floating up from the crowd dripped with palpable disappointment.
No, no, no! I can't let the whole mood crash on the very first round! Come on, damn machine, give me something to work with!
Flash—!
As if answering my frantic prayer, the screen abruptly flashed a brilliant white, and a petite demon girl materialized across the monitor. She looked tailor-made to unleash top-tier bratty insolence, complete with a pair of jet-black bat wings fluttering behind her that were large enough to blanket her entire frame.
"...Huh... wait, what?!"
"...A demon girl...?"
The unexpected appearance of a demonic entity instantly put the angels on edge, their expressions hardening as they glared at the screen. A moment later, the bratty demon girl smirked mockingly. Her obnoxious, condescending voice spilled out of the machine's speakers and echoed through the floating Cube across the entire hall.
"Aw, is that it? What was that pathetic excuse for a play?"
"You all ganged up together, and that's the best you could do? A whole army of mighty angels, and you got wiped by little old me in one round?"
"Gosh, what a colossal disappointment, you so-called holy beings~!"
"Come on, try again! I'll clean you out down to your last coin! Can you even fall asleep at night after getting humiliated like this?"
Rumbleeeeeee—!
BOOOOOOM!
Furious indignation erupted throughout the hall. Waves of pure, blazing holy power surged from the angels' bodies, blanketing the Great Assembly Hall in blinding light.
Yet the bratty demon girl, perfectly insulated inside a god-tier machine, didn't suffer a scratch. Instead, she leaned into the screen and doubled down on her psychological warfare.
"AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Yeah, keep flaring that light, it doesn't do squat to me~!"
"Aww, are we mad? Is the little angel army throwing a tantrum? Then beat me in a fair match and take your coins back!"
"Hurry up and challenge me! I'm gonna fleece every single coin you've got!"
Flash—
With that parting jab, she vanished from the screen, leaving the monitor resting calmly on the standby screen as if nothing had happened.
Good girl! I cheered internally. You glorious little menace!
If I played this right, I could flip the entire room's energy upside down. My brain shifted into overdrive while I covertly gauged the audience's reaction. Nearly every angel in sight was flushed crimson with rage, chests heaving as they struggled to contain their fury.
Time to pretend I was packing up shop.
"Ah... it seems we failed to meet your expectations. I deeply apologize for disappointing everyone."
= Ah... it seems we failed to meet your expectations. I deeply apologize for disappointing everyone. =
I bent at the waist, offering a polite, regretful ninety-degree bow, and began delivering my rapid closing remarks.
"...We shall conclude the demonstration here—"
"Wait a moment."
"...Pardon?"
Michael's cultured voice called out from beneath the stage. Looking up at the broadcast Cube, I saw her face projected on the screen. Her head was tilted about thirty degrees, and her refined features were tightly wound with blazing, unfiltered wrath.
"Ah... Lady Michael... what is the matter?"
"If we... use more of those coins on top of the machine and win... can we extract vengeance on that insolent demon?"
Bait taken! The big fish is on the hook!
Suppressing a grin, I adopted an apologetic tone.
"Well... physically striking her or anything of that sort is impossible. The only path to retribution is... victory. Defeating her in an honorable game of rock-paper-scissors is the only way. I am truly sorry."
"N-No, that is quite alright. I do not desire crude physical violence anyway. However... I would like to summon her to the screen for a private one-on-one interview. Would that be difficult...?"
"Oh... that might actually be feasible."
"...What? That can be done?!"
"Yes. As long as we use Coins."
A collective murmur rippled across the assembly. I wasn't exaggerating in the slightest when my instincts screamed that every single angel present had just developed a terrifying glint of unhinged madness in their eyes.
Well, whatever karma came from that wasn't my problem. Besides, if a lower coin multiplier came up later, that bratty demon girl would undoubtedly mock them again. That could serve as another useful catalyst down the line, so I kept that detail strictly to myself. A measured dose of provocation and anger made for the finest fuel in gambling, after all.
"...So... would you like to continue—"
"Lancelot, was it? What are you standing around for?"
"...Huh?"
Why was she targeting Lancelot all of a sudden?
On the floating display, Michael’s gaze remained fixed in our direction with smoldering fury. Completely ignoring me, she turned her icy scrutiny directly toward Lancelot, calling out to her in a cutting tone.
Lancelot, already crestfallen and blaming herself for ruining our hard-earned show, flinched visibly under the Archangel's sharp glare.
"...A-Archangel... what... is it?"
"Hurry. Insert. The coins. Right now. And proceed. Do you understand?"
"Lady Michael, please, that's enough—"
I stepped in to deflect the hostility being directed at Lancelot, but Michael brushed my intervention aside just as she had before.
"...I-I understand—"
"You are terribly frustrating to converse with. Why can you not speak properly? Do you suffer from some manner of ailment?"
"I-I'm... so-sorry..."
...Listen to this bitch. She's crossing the damn line.
Seeing Michael deliberately picking on Lancelot, who already struggled with social anxiety, set my temper ablaze. Stepping forward to shield my party member, I barked out with biting finality.
"I will not tolerate any further verbal abuse directed at our player. We're done here. We're packing it up and leaving. Everyone, dismantle the stage! Damn it all, there's no reason your dignity should be dragged through the mud just for my sake. Let's head back to our quarters. Off the machine, right now."
"...Y-Yeah!"
"R-Right!"
"Understood, Young Hero!"
The party members were taken aback by my sudden outburst, but seeing my hardened expression, they immediately gathered themselves and prepared to step down from the platform.
"W-Wait! Just a moment!"
".................."
Ignoring Michael's frantic plea, I willed the coins resting atop the arcade cabinet to return to my inventory. Instantly, a shroud of black mist wrapped around the shimmering currency, vacuuming the coins into the void.
"P-Please, wait! Stop! I beg of you!"
Thud—!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Driven to the brink of desperation, Michael flew over in person. Stopping just before the protective barrier that had previously repelled Archangel Gabriel, she slammed her palms against the translucent shield, shouting up at me frantically.
I let out a heavy, deliberate sigh, making it abundantly clear that I was utterly repulsed by the prospect of speaking with her further.
"Haaah... I have nothing to say to you."
"...I-I apologize! I have never conversed in such a manner before... and that creature's mental assault left me deeply agitated! Please... if I cannot extract vengeance upon that demon girl, I feel as though I might lose my sanity! I beg of you... please allow us to challenge her once more!"
".........."
Internally, I was doing backflips celebrating the fact that I now held all the cards. Outwardly, however, I kept my arms crossed and leaned against the railing, staring down at Michael with cold skepticism.
Then, making sure every angel present could hear me loud and clear, I spoke with flat detachment.
"Just because we are mortal humans, do not dare mistreat my companions. Even if they are gracious enough to forgive you, I won't."
= Just because we are mortal humans, do not dare mistreat my companions. Even if they are gracious enough to forgive you, I won't. =
Dead silence answered me.
"Still... since Archangel Michael has acknowledged her fault, I will accept the apology. Remember this: we are not your slaves."
= Still... since Archangel Michael has acknowledged her fault, I will accept the apology. Remember this: we are not your slaves. =
The gathered host remained frozen, struck dumb by my rebuke.
With a flick of my wrist, I materialized the remaining coins back onto the machine's tray and turned toward Lancelot.
"Lancelot. I'm sorry to ask this of you... but could you take the lever again?"
"...Mm!"
She placed her hand firmly upon the stick, waiting for my cue. Looking up at the screen with an impassive face, I spoke in a dry, flat monotone.
"...We will proceed with voting. Three. Two. One."
= ...We will proceed with voting. Three. Two. One. =
I dropped my energy completely, making it clear that I had zero interest in entertaining them and merely wanted to get this over with.
"...Scissors."
"Scissors this time."
"...The mood is totally different from earlier..."
"...It feels weird..."
"It's not fun anymore..."
A subdued chorus of angels muttering "scissors" echoed faintly, and the Cube locked onto the scissors button without any further debate. My sudden, drastic drop in enthusiasm instantly shattered the festive joy the angels had been relishing only moments before.
To hell with my quest if it meant watching my companions' pride get trampled. A quest? Screw it. I'd rather fail. The room's mood? Not my problem.
Despite Merlin and Judang sending me silent glances urging moderation, my inner disgruntled sergeant on his final days of service took over completely. Tuning out the entire angelic host, I proceeded with mechanical indifference.
"It seems the vote is scissors. Lancelot, pull the lever and prepare to press the scissors button."
= It seems the vote is scissors. Lancelot, pull the lever and prepare to press the scissors button. =
Lancelot glanced at me, her eyes asking, Is this really what you want? When I gave her a firm nod, she pulled the lever down.
Clunk—!
The hand symbols cycled across the monitor once more, accompanied by the digitized chime and the countdown timer.
Beep—
10
9
8
...
5
4
3
2
1
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
Rock! Paper! Scissors!
"Rock! Paper! Scissors!"
The angels tried to keep the rhythm going on their own, attempting to prove they could maintain the atmosphere without my guidance. But without my hyped-up commentary leading them, the sheer excitement drained away, leaving their voices thin and subdued.
Smack—!
Lancelot struck the scissors button with precision.
And right on cue...
PLAYER: SCISSORS VS MACHINE: ROCK
The arcade machine's cheerful chime signaled our defeat.
Simultaneously, the bratty demon girl popped right back onto the display, clamping a hand over her mouth as she convulsed in mock laughter.
"Pfft! PUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hurry up and challenge me again! The odds are one-in-three, can't you even manage a simple one-out-of-three chance?"
"With that massive army of angels? Tsk, tsk, tsk."
"What's the point of having so many heads if the end result is complete garbage? Hurry up and throw down so I can strip you clean! Bleeeeh~!"
Wiggling her index finger in mockery, she pulled down her lower eyelid and stuck out her tongue in a classic schoolyard taunt before instantly vanishing from the screen.
"AAAAAAARGH!"
The insult hit them like a physical blow. Frustrated shrieks and outraged howls tore through the assembly from every corner.
Watching the screen return to idle, I lifted my gaze toward the Cube and spoke in the same deadpan, lifeless tone.
"...We will begin voting. Three. Two—"
"Wait a moment!"
"Hold on!"
"Stop, please!"
"We were wrong!"
"Human, wait for us!"
Frantic pleas washed over me from all directions, desperately trying to halt my rushed count.
That's right! Keep squirming!
They had already tasted the addictive thrill of my ability and my showmanship. Once a vegetarian monk gets a taste of savory meat, how could they ever be satisfied returning to plain mountain greens? A dry, mechanical broadcast would never scratch that itch again.
And honestly... that bratty demon girl was an absolute godsend. As frustrating as she was to challengers, when viewed as an unwitting accomplice, there was no better wingman in existence.
Thanks to her, pulling the angels into the orbit of my gacha ability was practically a done deal. As long as they realized how utterly mesmerizing my power was, my primary objective was secured.
Just make sure you stop at admiring it, ladies—don't go developing some terrifying yandere obsession over it!
Well, now that they'd received a proper taste of the whip... maybe it was time to offer a little carrot.