Swift Reunion (2)
The moment I asked, “By any chance, are you a virgin, Ian?” everyone present blinked in stunned silence.
Karen was the first to snap out of it—probably because it involved her colleague—but even she faltered.
“I… I wouldn’t know about that.”
“That’s fine. We can just find out right now.”
I pulled out the Unicorn Dagger and placed it on Ian’s arm. There was no reaction at all.
“Oh dear. So he’s not a virgin. Well, that makes sense. He serves the Goddess of Love, after all. Plenty of opportunities, I suppose.”
“…….”
Karen squeezed her eyes shut as if she’d just learned something she never wanted to know. But it was too late! Just like you can’t turn a non-virgin back into a virgin, the fact that Ian wasn’t one was now burned into her memory forever…!
She shook her head vigorously to regain her composure, then asked in a trembling voice.
“W-what exactly is that dagger? How can it determine something like that? And why does someone’s purity even matter…?”
As she spoke, she reached out and lightly tapped the blade with her fingertip. The sword’s surface suddenly glowed brightly.
“You’re a virgin, by the way.”
“……!”
She froze solid. I shrugged at her and explained.
“This dagger was made from a unicorn’s horn. That’s why it can lend its power to those who have maintained their purity. The power of healing and purification, specifically.”
“Ah!”
Karen nodded as if it finally made sense. But soon her expression darkened again.
“But that means we can’t use this dagger to treat Ian.”
“Exactly. While we’re at it, could you tell me more about his condition? This is a temple, after all. Most ordinary curses should be easy to lift here.”
“You’re right. On top of that, both Ian and I are Heretic Inquisitors injured in the line of duty, so we should be entitled to even more support. …However, this isn’t an ordinary curse. In fact, strictly speaking, it might not even be a curse at all.”
“Huh?”
I tilted my head in confusion. Karen gave me a bitter, self-mocking smile.
“As you know, the main duty of a Heretic Inquisitor is to deal with apostates who defile the Goddess’s name.”
“Now that I think about it, the first time we met, you came to the shop because you wanted information on Those Who Swallow the Twilight from Elly.”
“Correct. I can’t go into detail, but right now Ian and I were tracking them after hearing they were plotting something.”
“And that’s when you ran into them this time?”
“Yes. Thanks to Brother Yona recently, my divine power has increased and the graces within me have grown stronger, so we somehow managed to corner them… but in a final act of desperation, they sacrificed one of their subordinates to cast this on him.”
“I see.”
Those Who Swallow the Twilight may be heretics, but they’re still priests. That means they possess their own form of divine power. In a world where gods actually exist, saying heretics have divine power sounds ridiculous, but…
The Goddess of Love is focusing her strength on regulating the labyrinth from its deepest floor. Because of that, her influence on the surface has become incomplete. Just like it’s easy to spill water but hard to gather it back up, granting divine power or graces is simple, but taking them back is difficult.
That’s why the divine power of Those Who Swallow the Twilight has become twisted, but it hasn’t disappeared. They firmly believe this is proof that they are right and never doubt it.
…Though the real reason was a little different.
Twisted divine power used by fallen priests—it’s practically a cliché! That’s the lighthearted setting I wrote in. The other reasons were added later.
I nodded as I looked at the collapsed Ian.
“I think I get it now. Even though it’s twisted and inverted, at its root it’s still divine power. It harms the body, so it’s treated as a curse, but it’s more like a bizarre blessing that the human body simply can’t endure. Yeah, something on this level would be too much for the temple to dispel.”
“…As expected, you understand perfectly.”
Karen nodded with an impressed expression. Worried I might have sounded too knowledgeable, I glanced around. The only one who looked surprised was Remily, who had guided us here. Rydia’s face had stiffened a little, but she didn’t seem to suspect me.
It was probably because I’d casually shown off bits of knowledge here and there before, so everyone just brushed it off. See? A person’s usual behavior really does matter.
Anyway, now that I knew the cause, it was time to find a way to treat Ian. Even though our meeting had been brief, watching someone I knew slowly die didn’t sit right with me.
“If it’s not a real curse, even a virgin’s Unicorn Dagger wouldn’t have worked. By the way, what are the symptoms?”
“His blood flow has gone haywire. The blood clumps in one spot and turns black and necrotic, or circulates too violently and bursts the blood vessels from the pressure. Even if he looks fine on the outside, his internal organs have already necrotized several times. Right now, I and the other priests are taking turns healing him to keep him alive, but at this rate…”
“Ah, so it’s basically a twisted version of the Blessing of Erectile Dysfunction.”
“Erec… pardon?”
Karen’s face went blank as she repeated the words. Only then did I realize my mistake.
“Oops. The way I said it makes it sound like it prevents erections. It’s the opposite, the opposite. It’s supposed to make erections easier… what was the exact name again? Blessing of Erection? No. Was it the Blessing of Enduring Love?”
I remembered it as one of the settings I’d written while cackling about what kind of blessing the Goddess of Love would grant to make things interesting. The men of this world have low sex drives and poor stamina, so they need a little help for a passionate night.
This blessing was one of those. It regulates blood flow to the lower body… There are several blessings related to blood circulation, but if it’s something that can be cast on a man and produces these symptoms, there’s only one answer.
I was quietly admiring my own perfect deduction and puffing out my chest when I finally noticed the reactions around me. Karen was blinking blankly, and Rydia had subtly stepped away as if she had nothing to do with us.
“Come on, you’re all adults. Why are you reacting like that to the word ‘erection’? You’re making me feel embarrassed.”
“I-is that so.”
“I really didn’t want to hear that from you, Yona.”
They both looked like they had a lot to say, but Karen eventually nodded and Rydia let out a dry laugh. I sighed deeply and slumped my shoulders.
“Haa… you perverted adults. Whatever. Just step aside. I’m going to try treating him.”
“What?! You can treat him?”
“Of course. By the way, Inquisitor Karen, do you know how Those Who Swallow the Twilight turn blessings that should benefit the human body into something like a curse?”
“I have no interest in the knowledge of heretics…”
“Well, it’s probably better not to know. People tend to want to use what they learn. Still, there are times like this when you have to know in order to respond.”
With that, I placed my hand on Ian’s chest. Let’s see, about here should do it?
“A man’s lower part doesn’t get bigger because there’s a bone in it, you know? …Well, some animals do have actual bones, but humans don’t. It gets hard because blood rushes in and can’t flow back out.”
I continued my explanation to Karen, who was tilting her head at this sudden sex education session.
“The Blessing of Enduring Love is, in other words, a blessing that regulates blood flow. It increases the amount of blood going to the lower body or reduces the amount leaving, making it easy for blood to pool there. …But what if we slightly change the location?”
“Pardon?”
“I’m asking what happens if blood pools somewhere other than the lower body and can’t flow out. Something’s bound to go wrong, right?”
“…Because that isn’t an organ made for that purpose.”
“And on top of that, imagine if the other components of blood flow went into overdrive. Blood pressure skyrockets and randomly bursts blood vessels, immune function goes haywire and causes the blood to rot—something like that.”
In simple terms, think blood clots, hypertension, and sepsis. Of course, strictly speaking it’s a bit different… but the visible symptoms are roughly the same.
Actually, it might be even more intense. Since it’s not a naturally occurring problem but an artificial phenomenon created through divine power, the symptoms don’t stop—they keep accelerating as if someone is pushing from behind. Eventually, just like Karen said, no matter how much you heal, the recovery speed won’t keep up with the rate of deterioration, and he could die.
“But in the end, it’s all about messing with the blood, right? Then the solution is simple.”
I put away the Unicorn Dagger and pulled out the spare dagger I used for harvesting.
“Inquisitor Karen, prepare all the divine power you have. Lady Rydia, if you have any high-grade recovery potions, please take them out. We can just bill Inquisitor Ian for the cost later, right?”
“All of it, you say?”
“…A Heretic Inquisitor shouldn’t be poor, so it should be fine.”
Karen looked dazed but began gathering her divine power. Her body started shimmering with a faint pink light. Rydia nodded and pulled out a luxurious bottle containing a red potion.
Once everything was ready, Karen, who had been concentrating, asked cautiously.
“What exactly is this countermeasure you mentioned?”
Instead of answering, I plunged the harvesting dagger straight into Ian’s heart.
Thud!
“Something like this.”
Heart reset.