The Horn Is Acting Strange...
Since I cleared the dungeon yesterday, today was supposed to be a rest day. For that reason, the place I headed after leaving The Elf and the Silver Coin was...
Ding-a-ling—
“Hello! I’m back after just one day!”
“Oh my? I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. What brings you here today, Yona? Is there… some kind of problem?”
Has she finally noticed? That was all my doing (X) Nice to see you and I’m worried (O).
“No problem at all. In fact, only good things happened. Is it all thanks to the necklace I received from Eve?”
“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. But keep in mind—luck and misfortune are separated by a single sheet of paper.”
Next time I’ll definitely kill you (X) That’s a relief (O).
“It’s fine. I remember everything you told me, Eve. By the way, are you open for business right now? I’m a little worried I came too early.”
Lemon and Apple were tangled together, fast asleep on the sofa. When I asked while looking at the pair still lost in deep slumber, Eve’s smile grew even warmer.
“We are open, yes. It’s just that this is the first time anyone has visited at such an early hour… I seem to have shown you an embarrassing sight.”
I saw something I shouldn’t have (X) I’m truly embarrassed (O).
“Hey, it’s true that I came early, so please don’t worry about it too much.”
I shook my head and scanned for a place to sit. But no matter how hard I looked, there wasn’t a single open seat in the narrow shop. Well, that made sense. There wasn’t enough space, which was why Lemon and Apple were sharing the same sofa.
Noticing this, Eve stopped tidying the store with her usual leisurely movements and stood up.
“It’s about time. Could you wait just a moment?”
Watch closely what I’m about to do (X) The sun’s up, so I’ll wake the twin elves (O).
“There’s no need for you to go through the trouble, Eve. I can just do this, right?”
Grinning, I plopped straight down on top of the sprawled-out Lemon and Apple.
“Wh-who is it, sir!”
“An enemy attack, sir?”
Lemon and Apple, stomachs pressed under my rear, woke up spouting nonsense. Their eyes were still hazy—they didn’t seem fully awake yet.
“Enemy? That’s a bit harsh. Where would you find an enemy as cute as me?”
“…Huk! There’s something scarier than an enemy, sir!”
“Why are you here, sir…?”
The moment our eyes met, sleep fled from their gazes and their eyes sharpened. Lemon flailed about as if genuinely terrified, while Apple cautiously tried to read my mood.
For some reason, ever since she peed herself, Lemon seems to overreact whenever she sees me.
I roughly gathered up Lemon’s long, disheveled blonde hair. Then, like swinging a duster, I lightly tapped the faces of the twin elves.
“Yap, yap.”
“I-it tickles, sir.”
“Lemon’s hair smells bad, sir….”
Even while flailing, they couldn’t bring themselves to push me away. Chuckling at the sight, I spoke.
“I came because I had something to show, but there was nowhere to sit so I sat here… Did you dislike it?”
“Not at all, sir! The feeling of your butt is so clear that I actually like it, sir!”
“…Lemon. You shouldn’t be that honest, sir.”
“Ahaha! That’s fine. Let’s just call it the price for being my cushion.”
“As expected, Yona is so generous, sir.”
“Isn’t Lemon feeling bad, sir…?”
“Well, I settled my grudge with what I received from Eve yesterday, so we’re even. And since Lemon was already feeling bad to begin with, I’m just letting it slide.”
“There’s an angel here, sir….”
“Get a grip, Lemon. Have you already forgotten what happened yesterday, sir? It’s clearly a monster wearing an angel’s mask, sir.”
Lemon wore a deeply moved expression while Apple scolded her with rude remarks. Who are you calling a monster? To tell her to shut up, I pressed down firmly on Apple with my thigh, and she quickly became docile.
After concluding my agreement with the cushions, I relaxed my body into a more comfortable position for a moment. But Eve, who had watched the entire process, spoke in a voice heavier with pressure than usual.
“…You two seem quite close?”
That’s your weakness (X) I’m jealous so do it to me too (O).
I roughly brushed off the brain translator that was starting to malfunction and nodded.
“Well, we did see each other naked in the dungeon. In Lemon’s case, even more serious things happened… so at this point, this much is nothing. Something like that?”
“Oh?”
She understood (X) So when are you going to do it to me? (O).
I could feel the brain translator going wild, but as I tried to ignore it, Eve brought up the main topic first.
“By the way, what brings you here today, Yona? If it’s not about the side effects of Lucky Strike, I can’t imagine what it could be…”
“Of course I came to see you, Eve! …is what I’d like to say, but I actually came to ask you to look at something.”
I pulled the unicorn horn from my pocket. It had stayed quiet while inside, but the moment my hand touched it, the horn began to shine brightly.
“This is…”
“A unicorn’s horn?!”
“Oh. As expected of you, Eve. You recognized it at a glance.”
“To think a unicorn’s horn would shine this brightly…”
This is incredibly interesting (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
For some reason, Eve’s gaze felt like it was scanning my body rather than the horn. Laughing at the ticklish sensation, I spoke.
“I obtained it by chance. What would be a good way to use this?”
“You obtained a unicorn’s horn by chance, when they’re said to be extinct…? No, I won’t pry too deeply into that part.”
Don’t lie (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
“Um… could you just tell me? I didn’t even know unicorns were extinct.”
“It’s simple. Unicorns are creatures that adore virgins. However, the aftermath of the War of the Fallen Gods twisted mortals’ concepts of chastity and sexual desire. As the value of virgins fell, so did the unicorn population.”
You don’t know this? Really? (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
“Hmm. So that’s how they went extinct?”
“No. If it were only that, they might have somehow maintained their lineage. The real problem was that as the concepts twisted, the unicorns’ own traits twisted as well.”
What kind of creature is this? (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
The brain translator and Eve. One of them was completely broken as the explanation continued. To summarize: unicorns had also been hit by the gender-reversal beam and now preferred male virgins over female ones, yet their bodies still reacted sensitively to female virginity. Because of that, touching a non-virgin caused them to vomit blood and die or corrupt into bicorns. The same thing happened if they touched a non-virgin male, so their numbers plummeted. Now they were completely extinct.
Of course, there were horns collected in the past, but… they traded at extremely high prices, so they weren’t easy to obtain.
“…It really has been a long time since I’ve seen a unicorn’s horn. And one that shines this brightly, at that.”
This is so surprising (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
“I thought it just glowed when touched by a virgin or a pure one, but the brightness makes a difference too, huh.”
“Surprisingly, even after death, unicorns can still distinguish between virgins and the pure. Therefore, even a shed horn will gradually grow cloudy and lose its power if it passes through the hands of non-virgins and non-pures multiple times during transport. I’m not young by any means, yet this is the first time I’ve seen a horn of this quality.”
It’s a precious material (X) Wow! A virgin! (O).
“Wow… they really do have peculiar tastes, these unicorns.”
Nodding, I looked down. I asked Lemon and Apple, who were staring at me and the horn with unpleasant expressions yet still grinning foolishly.
“Are you two virgins?”
“Ah, no, sir! I may be young for an elf, but I’ve still lived quite a long time…”
“Lemon is a virgin, sir.”
“Apple?! What the hell are you exposing, you idiot, sir!”
“And I am a virgin too, sir.”
Lemon shook her head wildly in denial while Apple calmly stated the facts. It seemed Apple was telling the truth. Well, that made sense. Her expectations for her first time must have been so high that she fell completely for Gail’s pretty-boy seduction. When he said he’d wash up so she should get naked and prepare, she really waited naked in the dungeon only to be subdued by other raiders. She got burned properly by a man, yet here both of them were, sending me passionate gazes. Smiling at their resilient attitude, I pressed the unicorn horn against them in turn.
“Ei, ei.”
Each time it touched Lemon and Apple, the horn’s light grew stronger. Lemon looked like she wanted to die of shame, while Apple simply let out a deep sigh. With a strict, solemn, and serious expression, I declared to the pair.
“I believe you. You two are indeed virgins.”
“Kyaaaak! N-no, sir! I am an experienced adult woman, sir!”
“Lemon… the more you deny it, the more pathetic you look, sir. You must humbly accept reality, sir.”
Chuckling at their fussing, I then held the horn out toward Eve.
“What about you, Eve?”
“…Hehe. What do you think?”
How dare you try to dig up my past (X) I don’t want to be found out as a virgin at my age (O).
The brain translator had finally returned to something resembling normal. I thrust the horn toward Eve as she secretly pulled her body back.
Tap.
The instant the unicorn horn touched the back of her hand, the entire shop was engulfed in brilliant light.
Flaaaaaash—!!
The immense radiance was so overwhelming I wondered if it would blind me. Eve’s face flushed bright red, having just proven she was a thousand-year-old virgin. It was an incredibly rare sight, given how she always carried a relaxed aura.
I beamed at the stunned Eve, frozen as if hit by a stun spell.
“Wow! A virgin!”
“…….”
It was a small act of revenge.