Forcing Purchases is a Crime
After enjoying a full Pangrave course until my stomach was about to burst, I even got a set of daggers and crossbow bolts—first-floor level gear at that—plus the cost of refining mana herbs on credit. The thought of using the money I saved to roll the gacha later made me happy, but still! Forcing a purchase is a crime.
For that reason, I rubbed my face against Elly’s stomach while she shook the shaker with one hand and let out a pitiful wail.
“Hwaaaang! Elly! Please save me!”
“I’m working right now, Yona… I’m busy, so summarize it in three sentences.”
“I went on a date with Lady Rydia. But she pushed the date expenses onto me. Yona is sad. Sob sob.”
“Did you really need to add ‘sob sob’ and make it four sentences? …Wait. More importantly, a date? With Rydia?!”
“Yep.”
Eating together, going to a café, shopping, reviewing the last labyrinth expedition, and even chatting… if that doesn’t count as a date, what does? I’ve never actually been on one in either my past or present life, so I’m not entirely sure, but it definitely felt like one.
It’s absolutely not because I’m trying to use Elly to erase the debt through some roundabout scheme. Really, it’s not.
Forcing my mouth corners back down as they tried to curl upward, I kept up the pitiful act. Sensing something was off from my blatant expression, Rydia pushed the chair she had just pulled out back in and quietly turned around. Too late, though.
“Freeze.”
“Senior Elly. It’s a misunderstanding. Let’s talk this out.”
“What are you saying? It’s not like Yona is my lover, so why would I care if you went on a date?”
“Yeah… I guess you wouldn’t say anything. You’d just radiate killing intent like this instead.”
Letting out a deep sigh, Rydia finally sat down. Elly poured the drink she had just mixed in front of her.
“I’m telling you, it’s nothing. I just wanted to say a few words as your senior. Look, I’m even giving you free drinks. What a great senior, right?”
“Old hag, troublesome.”
“Shut up and listen! How could a woman try to take money from a man? Especially when Yona is still just a kid!”
“Stop with the outdated remarks. This is the age of gender equality. Adventurers are strong regardless of gender, and they make good money too…!”
Rydia protested half-heartedly. Peeking out from behind Elly, I shot back.
“Goo-goo ga-ga. I’m baby Yona. I’m not strong, and I don’t have any money.”
“…Yona. I’ll remember this.”
Rydia stared at me with a blank expression. So that’s how you want to play it? Fine, I’ve got plenty to say too.
“Remember what? You can just deal with it now.”
“Hiding behind Elly?”
“You’re not planning to say something you can’t say in front of Elly, are you?”
Shrugging, I pointed my index finger at Rydia like a gun.
“First off, I don’t think men and women necessarily need to be equal. That way I can laze around and live off Elly’s money, right?”
Even though I said it to Rydia, the reply came from Elly, her face looking thoroughly fed up.
“…As always, what a trashy reason. More importantly, I never said I’d marry you, you know?”
“Oh no. Then Elly will have to grow old as a spinster forever! How pitiful…”
“What do you mean by that, Yona Yona? You’d better choose your next words carefully.”
“Aww, there’s nothing to choose. It’s exactly what it sounds like. I’m saying, who else would take in a perpetually horny old maid with violent tastes who’s two days away from being a spinster besides me?”
“……”
Elly crumpled silently, as if genuinely hurt. I patted her back.
“See? You’re thinking you definitely want to marry me now, right?”
“…I was tempted, but I still don’t want a debtor.”
I was impressed by her unwavering resolve not to take on the debt even in this situation.
“As expected of Elly! Unlike Rydia, who spends everything she earns on food and new gear and has zero savings, you’re first-class wife material!”
“Just what are your standards for wife material inside that head of yours?”
“Someone pretty, kind, rich, and most importantly, good to me?”
“That’s not a spouse, that’s a generous sucker! Marriage is supposed to be… you know? More… you know?!”
Her face flushed bright red as she kept stammering “you know,” unable to form a proper sentence. Well… what she was trying to say was probably this.
“You’re supposed to do it with someone you love?”
“Y-yeah, that!”
“Honestly, I don’t really get that part. I’ve never loved anyone that much before.”
My feelings toward Elly are… a bit complicated. At the very bottom, there’s unconditional affection for the character I created, after all. Me, Kim Yona. A lifelong solo player in both lives. All my knowledge of love besides unrequited crushes came from writing…!
Letting out a deep sigh as I said that, for some reason both Elly and Rydia went stiff. Why? Why did they look like they’d just stepped on a landmine?
Before the atmosphere could turn completely weird, I grabbed Elly’s tail, thinking I’d do something about it. Long, fluffy fur. The way her muscles twitched every time my hand touched it. Wrapping her tail around my neck like a scarf, I mused that it felt like a separate creature. It was just something I did without thinking, but it was softer than I imagined—probably because she takes good care of it. It even smelled nice.
…This is it! The image of a heroine sniffing the protagonist’s clothes and going “It smells like the protagonist~” with a silly grin. Even if I don’t know much else, I know the fantasies of a lifelong solo player like Elly. If you just do to them what felt good when it was done to you, they’ll like it.
“Huuuup…”
I buried my nose in the tail wrapped around my neck and took a deep breath. It really did smell good, so my lips naturally loosened. How to describe it… like puppy smell mixed with a faint perfume.
Only after savoring Elly’s scent did I lift my head. Elly’s yellow eyes, her face bright red, were sparkling with impulse, while Rydia was staring at me with an openly intrigued expression.
Smiling at both of them, I opened my mouth.
“I don’t know much about love, but if there’s someone pretty, kind, rich, and who likes me… I’m sure I’d end up liking them too.”
I didn’t name anyone. I just looked calmly at Elly. However, Elly’s reaction was strange. At this point, she should’ve been either excitedly flustered like someone whose tastes had been perfectly hit, or wearing a tormented expression as if holding back from pouncing on me right now…
Instead, Elly was smiling bitterly yet kindly, as if encouraging me. No, she actually started encouraging me. She even reached out carefully and began stroking my head.
“It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find someone like that, Yona.”
“Eh.”
This wasn’t the reaction I expected. Reflexively, I looked at Rydia, but she was no different. She was clapping softly with slightly reddened eyes, like she’d just watched a touching movie.
What? Seriously, what…?
After tilting my head in bewilderment for a moment, I finally couldn’t stand the lukewarm atmosphere anymore and slipped out from under Elly’s tail.
“Ahem! Anyway, let’s talk about something else now!”
“Something else? Ah, like Rydia’s execution or whatever?”
“…Proposal. Instead of executing me, wouldn’t it be more beneficial for Senior Elly to hang out with me later too?”
“What! Me dating Yona…?”
Elly suddenly wore a melancholic expression, as if lost in some kind of fantasy. I knew that look. That was the face she made when trying to hide dirty thoughts.
Shaking my head, I spoke.
“Elly. We’re about to talk business now, so please don’t think dirty thoughts.”
“I-I wasn’t! I was only thinking pure thoughts! …Anyway, business?”
“Yep. I’m planning to enter the labyrinth again tomorrow, so I wanted to discuss that.”
“Is there anything special to discuss? It’s the first floor anyway. We can just go in, sweep through, and come back.”
Elly tilted her head. Her explanation was a bit too casual, but she wasn’t wrong. The monsters on the first floor weren’t particularly strong, and there weren’t any annoying gimmicks either. You just had to fight normally. After all, the first floor was basically the adventurer tutorial zone, so it made sense.
…Usually, that is.
“I’m thinking of taking down the floor guardian on the first floor. Since I need to get stronger, I should find a way to grow quickly!”
Even though I said it with determination, their reactions were subtle.
“Ah, there was a time when I thought that too.”
“…Every adventurer has that thought at some point. But no one’s ever succeeded.”
A disinterested voice. A gaze looking into empty space as if reminiscing, and a wistful tone. They clearly didn’t believe me at all, huh? Not that I couldn’t understand. Floor guardians were, as the name suggested, boss monsters representing each floor. It was said that every floor had at least one. If you couldn’t find one, it just meant it hadn’t respawned yet or the appearance conditions hadn’t been met.
But the first floor was the exception—everyone knew there was no floor guardian there. Since anyone could enter just by passing through the gate, it was overflowing with newbies who could barely be called adventurers. If a powerful monster like a floor guardian were wandering around, instead of growth, there would only be more meaningless deaths. The compassionate Goddess of Love made the first floor an exception out of concern for this… or so the established theory went.
To put it bluntly, that’s bullshit. There is a proper floor guardian on the first floor too. It’s just that the summoning conditions are so tricky that no one’s figured it out yet.
I flashed a confident smile at Elly and Rydia.
“Want to make a bet? The loser grants the winner one wish.”
At those words, their expressions changed completely. Elly’s eyes sparkled with obvious desire, while Rydia nodded with burning resolve.
“Deal!”
“…No take-backs.”
That’s what I should be saying.