The Goblin's Charge
The reversed notions of chastity on the Pan Continent were remnants of the God-Slaying War. This change applied not only to people but to monsters as well. I knew that female monsters often had stronger sexual desires, but I never expected one to go berserk the moment our eyes met.
“Stop right there, little goblin!”
“Kiyaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Give me your seeds, gob!”
“Don’t come at me with those sagging tits!!”
“It’s my first time too, so I’ll be gentle, gob!”
“I don’t need a goblin’s virginity!!”
Luckily, I spotted the goblin first. Firing the crossbow at the back of its head was a good call, too. The problem was that the crudely made arrow flew in a weird arc and missed. The real disaster was the goblin noticing my position, locking eyes with me, and immediately going into heat.
No, seriously—what was with that over-the-top reaction? Monsters lived and died by instinct, sure, but this was ridiculous!
“Help me, Lady Rydia! At this rate I’m going to end up a married man…!”
“No. Yona can do it. Fighting.”
Rydia cheered me on with a completely blank face. The fact that she was only cheering made it all the more infuriating.
“Just a little! You could at least help a little!”
“Understood, gob! I’ll only put the tip in, gob!”
“I wasn’t talking to you!!”
I spun around in a rage—and immediately regretted it. A hooked nose that took up half its face, green skin covered in age spots and acne. Its expression, twisted with lust, was hideously contorted. The face alone was bad enough, but the body below was worse. It wore nothing but a loincloth, leaving its sagging, toad-like breasts and grotesquely swollen belly fully exposed on its spindly limbs. And the last thing I ever wanted to know or see—the liquid running down its legs every time it ran toward me…
“Khaaaaaaaaah!!”
A scream tore out of me from the sheer mental damage. Yeah. Ever since falling into this world, I’d never once felt my chastity threatened. Partly because the women of the Pan Continent were generally beautiful, and partly because my perceptions and desires were still the same as in my previous life. But the biggest reason was that I’d never actually been in real danger.
The closest I’d come was being kidnapped by the Twin Daggers Clan… but Rydia saved me, so it ended without incident. Right now, though? Right in front of me was an ugly monster that looked like the living embodiment of the word “imp,” charging at me with a club, declaring it was going to have its way with me. And it looked pretty strong, too. My spine went cold and my butt clenched on instinct.
Raw fear. But it quickly twisted into something else. I was the original author of this story, after all. My body might be weak, but my mind was that of a grown man. I even had the perks of possession, even if I’d wasted all my gacha rolls. And now I was supposed to tremble in fear against a goblin, of all things—not even a dragon?
“You… fucking bitch.”
Anger surged up and burned in my chest. I was going to kill it. That goblin—I was going to kill it no matter what…!
Its appearance had shocked me more than I expected, but on closer inspection, it was only a little slower than me. Its strength, however, was on another level. Even a casual swing of that club produced a vicious whoosh.
“Gobbbbt! Insult me more, gob! I like it when they resist, gob!”
“You make me sick!”
Fortunately, the goblin was underestimating me. Well, of course it was. Even if it had been cursed with madness and turned into a monster, it had gained strength on par with an adult human. To a goblin like that, I must have looked like easy prey. Especially since I was running away in obvious terror.
…Though, to be precise, it wasn’t fear for my life so much as fear for my chastity. If I had to compare it, it felt like a cockroach you were trying to catch suddenly flying straight at you.
“Ah.”
I realized it then. What had made me tremble wasn’t fear—it was disgust. Once I got past the visceral revulsion, my mind became strangely calm. In contrast, my entire body felt like it was boiling with energy. No—my body had probably always been like this. This situation demanded maximum agility, and when it came to speed, there was no way I’d lose to a goblin.
I kicked off the ground with all my strength. For a brief moment I was airborne. I curled my body and twisted backward, reversing direction without losing momentum.
“Gob?!”
The goblin flinched in surprise when I suddenly faced it again. I used that opening to spring off the ground like a coiled spring.
Chiiik—
My first step dragged across the dirt, stopping my forward momentum. Then—
Tadat!
My second step launched me straight at the goblin. It panicked but still swung its club.
“G-gob!”
It was a reflexive move, but a pretty accurate one. If it connected, my momentum would shatter along with something in my body. …But all I had to do was dodge.
I held my breath and leaned sideways, dropping low enough that the club whooshed over my head and slammed into the ground.
Thud!
The club buried itself deep. Dirt flew everywhere. Using that as my signal, I thrust the dagger in my right hand forward, aiming for the goblin’s now-stiffened arm.
“Hup!”
Thuck.
“Gobbbbt!!”
Even without much force, the blade sank into its green skin and painted its upper arm red. So this was what they meant by making up for lacking specs with equipment. The weapon was sharp, so the cut went in clean.
Its face twisted in pain and fear. Mine, on the other hand, was probably grinning with battle excitement. The positions had completely reversed from a moment ago.
Smirking inwardly, I extended my leg. Goblins had plenty of weak points, but only one that would help me right now: their poor downward vision. Their necks were short, their limbs thin, and their bellies grotesquely bloated. Of course they struggled to look down. Maybe the pain in its arm had already narrowed its field of view. Either way, it didn’t notice me hooking its ankle.
I slammed my heel into the back of its foot while pushing with the arm holding the dagger. My strength was pathetic, but it was more than enough to shove over a goblin with one leg off the ground.
Thud!
“Guhk!”
The goblin crashed down, smashing the back of its head against the floor. Even then, it instinctively tried to switch the club to its uninjured hand. I was faster.
“This is mine now.”
My left hand snatched the club away before it could. There’s no moment more vulnerable than when passing an object from one hand to another. It missed its chance to stand and failed to swing again. Surprisingly, instead of fighting to the end, the goblin started begging for its life.
“S-spare me, gob! I was wrong, gob. I’ll do anything, gob… so please, just my life… I don’t want to die like this, gob…”
Its voice was pitiful. But that wasn’t enough to make me stop. I yanked the dagger from its upper arm and drove it down toward its chest.
Thuck!
The sharp edge sliced through leather and muscle with ease, but caught on the ribs and only sank halfway in. No matter how good the weapon, a one-handed stab couldn’t sever bone.
The goblin, still in agony, looked relieved that it had survived. Right in front of its face, I gripped the club with both hands and raised it high.
“Don’t worry—I’ll only put the tip in!”
“Gobbt?!”
I threw its own words back at it and brought the club down on the dagger’s hilt.
Thud!
With a heavy impact, the blade that had been stopped by the ribs sank all the way to the root. Whether its lungs had been pierced too, the goblin could only wheeze and stopped babbling. It twitched and tried to pull the dagger from its chest, but—
Press.
“Stay still.”
“……!”
I pinned its hand under my foot. Under normal circumstances, its superior strength would have made this impossible. But a dying monster didn’t have much strength left. All it could do now was glare up at me with eyes full of resentment.
…It was a little hard to understand why it looked so wronged when it had brought this on itself. So I stared right back, eyes wide, until the very end. Its trembling and breathing grew weaker until, finally, it died with its eyes still open.
Just to be sure, I pulled the dagger from its heart and drove it into the goblin’s neck. Better safe than sorry.
Shick.
The head came off with a single light slice. I grabbed it by the hair and jogged back to where Rydia was waiting. Then I held the severed head—still wearing its final expression—right up to her face and grinned.
“Lady Rydia! Lady Rydia! I won! Goblins aren’t that big a deal after all?!”
“……”
“Wow. If I’d known the dagger you lent me was that sharp, I would’ve focused on slashing instead of stabbing. What a waste!”
“……”
“But hey… I won, so it’s fine, right?! You knew this would happen and just cheered instead of helping, didn’t you? Thanks! I think I get it now!”
Rydia stared at me with a stunned expression. She swallowed once, then asked carefully.
“…Yona. Goblins are monsters that retain a certain level of intelligence. When it begged for its life, didn’t it feel difficult? Didn’t you feel any pity?”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
“Toward a goblin?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“……”
Rydia squeezed her eyes shut. Then she grabbed my shoulders and spoke in a serious voice.
“…Yona, you absolutely must become an adventurer.”
“???”
I had no idea what she was talking about.