Chapter 20. The Girl Does Not Believe in God
Park Ha-yoon's one redeeming quality was her exceptional memory. Because of it, she remembered her childhood all too clearly.
Before awakeners truly began to make their mark, her parents had died in a monster attack. When the beast that killed them turned on her next, she had been on the verge of giving up everything. But such tragedies weren't rare. Dungeons were popping up worldwide in bizarre fashion, and an unstable era loomed where major cities could crumble in an instant.
"No, please save me! I'm scared! Mom, Dad, please wake up!"
"Grk, grrrk!"
Terrifying as it was, she still wanted to live. She squeezed her eyes shut at the grotesque monster's cry. This is it. Everything ends now.
Bang! Bang! Bang!!
"Little one, you okay?"
Gunshots rang out briefly. She slowly opened her eyes to see a soldier smiling down at her.
"...Mister, thank... sniff, sob, huh, heuk. Huh? Why?"
Park Ha-yoon was unharmed, but the man's uniform was soaked in thick blood. Even to her child self, it looked agonizing.
"...Reminds me of my own son. Can't let a girl as young as you..."
"M-Mister, stay with me! Just hold on."
"...If I'd known it'd end like this, cough, urk. Should've at least seen her face one more time."
Park Ha-yoon's small hands shook the soldier's body. The uniformed man muttered unintelligibly and pressed his radio button. Soon, his comrades arrived, and they escaped "Old Seoul."
The girl never wanted to forget that man's face.
Afterward, Park Ha-yoon was moved to a state-run orphanage—temporary, of course. Even the nation itself seemed like it might not last. The place was overflowing with refugees. Being temporary meant no one could stay long.
Then one day, a neatly dressed man arrived. He was a pastor, come to take some children off the orphanage's hands.
"Please... take me with you."
Park Ha-yoon spoke boldly. She had nowhere else to go. If she was honest, he also reminded her of the soldier who'd saved her. Their features differed, but the aura was similar.
The place Pastor Park Ki-ju took her to was a rundown building—a church, she learned. Over time, it expanded. More people came. It offered shelter and simple meals. To refugees, it was a godsend.
"Hey, sweetie~ Want a cookie?"
An older woman offered her one. Why give away something so precious? But fearing she'd take it back, Park Ha-yoon tore into it immediately.
"Aigoo~ You eat well! I live here too, you know. You're around my Seojun's age. Be friends?"
The woman pointed to a boy shrinking back, glancing around nervously. Most kids here were orphans like her. If even one parent lived, you couldn't join. That was the rule—special privilege for them, though she didn't know why. In that moment, inferiority stung her. Why? Why only you?
"Want another, sweetie?"
The woman, who'd lost her husband and come with her child, was kind to her. The baseless kindness grated. Later, she heard the woman and child had been allowed in as repayment for some soldier's death.
⁕⁕⁕
"Please. Please. Please."
People in chairs clasped hands, praying fervently. Why do they pray so desperately? Not all believers were good. Some were bad, some kind. Most survivors were like that—ready to do anything for family.
Park Ha-yoon wondered: Did the so-called "God" really exist? People leaned on religion in hard times. It wasn't bad; it brought peace, hope. Expectations for a better today than yesterday, tomorrow than today.
But if God existed, why dungeons? What of her parents, unjustly slain by monsters? That soldier? If only trials one could overcome were given, why did God decide? Who could guarantee victory?
"...How could I possibly..."
Park Ha-yoon was confused. One day, she asked the pastor.
"Pastor, does God... really exist?"
Was it just simple, hopeful human desire? Why did humans crave God? A universal need. Escape, perhaps. Why bring such pain and misery to humanity? Unless a sadist, no.
"Where do these monsters even come from?"
Another dimension? Alien planet? Secret foreign bioweapon? Extraterrestrials?
"Do you know, Pastor?"
"Well... truth be told, I don't."
"If my faith grows strong enough for my prayers to reach, could I get a response?"
"...That..."
The pastor, with a subtle expression, slowly nodded.
Days flew by after that.
"Oh my, Hayoon, try this on—I got it for you. So pretty! Want to be my daughter?"
The auntie was overly affectionate.
"Hayoon, you're really pretty. Chocolate—wanna share?"
Blood couldn't lie; her son was the same. Among the kids, he shone brightest, clearly different from her. Just a feeling. Unexplainable pull. Enviable. Unfair.
A boy with more than her, loved by all. Not quite inferiority—more vivid, intense as spring petals.
"That's why I hate it."
As the girl became a young lady, her bond with Lee Seojun faded. Boy to man, girl to woman. Regardless, Park Ha-yoon tried. Prayed diligently, memorized scripture. Soon, she had followers among the younger ones.
But.
"I can't hear God's voice."
What if God didn't exist? Must the world suffer forever? Her efforts?
Park Ha-yoon pushed harder, more fiercely. Then Kim Ji-suk collapsed. She'd called her "Mom" at her insistence, and given her heart too freely.
"God, please... let Mom wake up. I'll pray harder. Don't take her, please."
While nursing in the sickroom as usual, she ran into Lee Seojun. Why rage then? At whom exactly?
"Why did Mom collapse? I hate this. Hate it. Why can't they find the cause?"
Why only me suffering? You're the real son.
"Hayoon, you okay? Calm down first."
Why look at me worried like that?
"Why aren't you fazed, Oppa? You came close. Annoying."
What can you even do, Oppa? She was no better, but irritation surged. Defeat, helplessness washed over her. Yet faint comfort too. Even you can't handle everything perfectly.
⁕⁕⁕
He scanned the area, assessing. Toad monsters. Only two hunters visible, C-to-B-rank by looks. Hold out till backup.
Heal
He healed the injured hunters first. They stared in awe. Melted flesh regenerated perfectly. Routine for him, miraculous for them.
Holy Faith
Purple light spread from him. A golden halo formed above his head, wings flapping golden dust. He targeted the hunters; purple auras bloomed on them. Their abilities boosted—at least one rank up. Advantage now. Doable.
"You two, don't just stare—fight!!"
His shout spurred them; they gripped swords and nodded. Problem: not one toad. Plenty rampaging nearby. Streets bloodied, corpses strewn. A few survivors—some filming fearlessly on phones. Below, Mom and Park Ha-yoon looked up.
Wings flapped. Think. On arrival, venom targeted Mom—Guardian Angel's designate. Gold blocked it.
If he could add more to Guardian Angel?
"System window!!"
Would you like to designate targets for protection with the Guardian Angel skill?
"Yes. Everyone at this station."
Whoosh!! Wings beat powerfully. Gold light spread rapidly—from him, across the street. A golden sea. Shields formed on survivors. Hunters fighting too. Toad tongues bounced off. Venom swallowed by gold. No more melting.
"Gloop? Groooop!!"
"Hyaap. Hup!"
Slash, slash, slice! Clang!!
Buffed hunters, ranks temporarily up, carved through confused toads. Attacks useless, beasts slashed helplessly. Green ichor dripped from corpses.
Floating, he saw it.
"Took you long enough."
Backup arriving now. Subjectively late, but objectively not. Still angry—family in danger?
He descended slowly. Wings felt natural now. Mom teary-eyed, he smiled.
"Phew, that was close. You okay?"
She nodded, swallowing sobs. Beside her, Park Ha-yoon stood blankly.
"You okay too?"
Tense, rigid. He teased playfully with a grin; her lips pouted.
"...Still unfair."
Her head tilted up slightly—the brightest expression he'd seen on her. Relieved, yet prim.
"But still... thank you for saving us, Oppa."