This Is My Lab Now (1)
Right after Cartesia left, the Outer God Sapaul chased after her. She had been parasitizing a boy’s brain.
‘He looks like an ordinary human.’
The boy seemed perfectly at peace. ‘Far too composed for someone supposedly tormented by an Outer God.’
There was even a sense of comfort in the way he sipped his coffee with elegant poise while tapping away at the keyboard. His pumpkin-colored eyes stared at the monitor without the slightest tremor. When Sapaul checked what he was looking at, it turned out to be a research paper.
‘He’s reading papers in a place like this? In this prison painted with madness and exhaustion?’
Sapaul scoffed. But the moment he confirmed the contents of the paper, the smirk vanished from his lips.
Quantum Gravity Theory and the Similarity of Ether Singularities
Possibility of Ether Hole-Poles
(Review Paper) Latest Research Trends on Manipulation and Repair of the Ether Belt
Every single one contained the word Ether.
—He’s going to kill us all with a Graviton Bomb! I tried to stop things before they got out of hand!
‘So Popurus was telling the truth.’
At first he hadn’t believed it. Even if the boy was searching for papers like this, he would have laughed it off. How could a lowly species possibly understand gravity and Ether? But with the exiled Cartesia acting as his backer, everything had become disturbingly ambiguous. At the very least, he needed to test the boy.
“What the hell is this?”
Sapaul injected a phron into the monitor the boy was watching. Phron referred to any act of interfering with another dimension through a proxy. Because the Ether concentration here was so thick, that amount of phron wasn’t enough to turn the monitor into a monster. But forcing the computer to shut down was entirely possible.
“No, fuck—my paper!!!!!!”
The boy who rebooted the computer slammed his fist on the desk as he stared at the lost data.
“…….”
Sapaul floated around in his ghostly state, chuckling. There was no better entertainment than watching a distorted inferior creature’s face twist in agony.
But then—
“Maxwell faction, huh.”
“……!”
The boy was staring straight at him. His yellow eyes blazed with fury. The sheer force of his presence was overwhelming. Sapaul unconsciously took a step back.
‘Did I… just flinch at a lowly creature?’
But it didn’t end there.
“Sapaul.”
“……!”
“Steel Flowing Like Earth. That was the alias you went by, right? I know your true identity and your weaknesses inside and out.”
A chill ran down a spine that didn’t even exist.
“Once I finish the Graviton Bomb, you’ll be the first one I dunk it in.”
The moment he heard Graviton Bomb, Sapaul fled back into the mind of the black-haired, black-eyed girl who served as his main base.
‘W-what the hell is he?’
His nonexistent heart was pounding.
‘How can he see me? No… more importantly, how does he know my true name?’
At this point, suspicion had become certainty. Popurus had been right. Sapaul hurriedly hacked the prison’s database and dug up information on the boy. Finding his name wasn’t difficult.
Idel von Rheinland.
‘I’ll have to keep an eye on him for now.’
“Fuck.”
I was in a very bad mood right now. A Maxwell-type Outer God had suddenly shown up, wrecked my computer’s hard drive, and run off. Thanks to him, the second paper I’d been writing was completely gone too.
Knock knock knock.
“Coming in.”
It was Instructor Baizel. Standing beside him was a middle-aged man whose gray hair had just begun to show.
“Greet him properly. This is Director John Whitewood, the warden of our Alcatraz.”
At the sudden appearance of the prison warden, I smoothed my expression and bowed my head.
“Nice to meet you, Warden.”
“Yes. So you’re Idel von Rheinland?”
“Yes? Yes, sir.”
Why would the warden of all people come here? An inexplicable anxiety crept over me. He strode forward and abruptly grabbed my hand.
“Student Idel.”
“Yes.”
“Congratulations on your madness being cured.”
“Yes.”
“From now on, I’d like you to work as an assistant deputy warden.”
“…Excuse me?”
And just like that, I was freed from my prisoner uniform.
John Whitewood, warden of the third ward of Alcatraz. The prison he ran had always suffered from the chronic disease known as administrative paralysis.
The last bastion of human reason that controls madness.
It sounded grand, but in reality it was nothing more than a hideout for weary middle managers caught between the Outer Gods and the administration. People who worked in a place like this usually ended up physically and mentally exhausted, and the warden, John, was no exception.
While he struggled against madness and steadily stacked up his overwork debuffs—
‘A miracle happened.’
The warden recalled a memory from a certain day. Reports that always came in late had arrived on time, and they were impeccably organized.
‘Not a single flaw in the details.’
Clean sentences. Accurate calculations. Even outstanding document-writing skill.
‘If he were a civil servant, he’d be at the senior administrator level. In academia, he’d have at least a doctorate.’
They say a courageous man wins a beauty; likewise, a courageous superior gains a capable subordinate. It didn’t take long for the warden to investigate personally and learn the identity of this talented individual.
And so he had acquired Idel, a genius of administrative work.
“It’s been over six weeks since any signs of madness appeared. That’s more than enough to pass. If nothing unusual happens, I’ll promise you appropriate pay and rank until I leave this place.”
The reason he wasn’t exploiting the boy for free was simple. This student was the young master of the Rheinland family—one of the top ten most powerful houses in the Federation. Creating a mental debt like this could prove useful for connections later.
“Um, Warden.”
“Hmm. Go ahead.”
“Would it be all right if I replaced the equipment here?”
Idel pointed at the computer.
“It’s been running slow lately, and it’s making document work very difficult.”
“Hmm, in that case…”
Warden John nodded. The budget was tight, but it was fine. A single computer could be covered out of his own pocket. The benefits of recruiting such a talent far outweighed the cost.
“Don’t worry about the price. Pick out whatever you want.”
At that moment, Warden John had no idea.
That his prison was about to become a laboratory…
“Heh.”
I hummed a little tune as I changed out of my prisoner uniform and into a guard’s uniform. Prisoner number 888888? No. From now on I was Idel, assistant deputy warden of this prison. And since I’d been assigned to administrative work, I even had plenty of time left to write papers.
John Whitewood—was he a saint? Anyway, the warden said I could buy as much equipment as I wanted, so I planned to get the best gear possible.
[“What if he asks you to pay him back later?”]
I’ll just pay him back with interest.
[“This is completely unfilial.”]
“……?”
The voice sounded slightly different. It wasn’t Cartesia.
Then came the sound of a collar jingling. The Outer God I’d been talking to let out a choking gasp. Her voice vanished, replaced by another.
[“Sorry. That was my slave speaking just now. Please ignore the unfilial remark.”]
— ‘The God of Wisdom and Curiosity’ bows her head —
Wait, did Cartesia… capture Popurus and lock him inside my head? This is insane. I rubbed my forehead and sighed.
Anyway, it was time to pick out a computer. Back on Earth, I had been very fond of products from a subsidiary called Alienware.
“Ha, this looks good.”
First, to maximize the effect of Parallel Thinking, I’d need four monitors. The next paper would require complex simulations, so I should get a decent graphics card too… And for the most important part—the main body—I’d order one with a 5th-generation AI-dedicated plug.
“Hmm.”
No need to worry about the price tag. What mattered most right now was preparing against an Outer God’s hacking. The simplest solution would be to install a 3rd-generation or higher android. That way, even if I couldn’t block the Outer God’s attack, I could automatically back up my programs to an external server.
But buying a whole package would cost an absurd amount of money. So what should I do?
The solution was always close at hand. I immediately opened the email window and began writing a message.
The day the computer parts arrived one after another and I installed the AI application, I got a fierce scolding from the maid android who connected to my computer.
> Spending nearly 100 million on a computer wasn’t enough?
> You made the warden pay for it out of his own pocket?
“Yep.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
Sonia. The first time we’d met again in several weeks, she showed neither blood nor tears. It was a relief that she was inside the computer so I didn’t get physically beaten, but her sharp tongue was the same as ever.
“Didn’t the warden say anything?”
“He said it was fine.”
Of course, the moment I showed him the invoice he froze for about two minutes, but then he smiled and nodded. What a good man.
“Why on earth did you spend 100 million on a computer?”
“The graphics card was ridiculously expensive.”
“Just what are you planning to do that you need a GPU like… No, this won’t do. May I come in person and give you some proper discipline, young master?”
“No can do. I’m still technically a prisoner.”
“Don’t lie.”
I flinched.
“I ran an analysis using the database stored in my artificial neural network. The results show that you are currently in a mental state where you could be released at any time.”
“Hmm.”
Sharp as always. How did she know?
Sonia continued.
“Yet you still bought a computer with the research director’s permission. It’s obvious. You’re being released, and in return the warden wants to build a connection with the Rheinland family. Or perhaps he found some use in you and decided to form a symbiotic relationship… Something like that, right?”
A sigh came through the speaker.
“……This is no time to be relaxing there.”
Does she think I want to be here? I half-listened to Sonia while opening the email window. It was about time to send Professor Feynman a new idea.
“Stop messing around and listen to me.”
“I am listening.”
“This isn’t the kind of conversation you can have in passing.”
She forcibly raised the speaker volume.
“Miss Rustilla is in danger.”