Love and Theses (1)
Ten years ago.
And just yesterday.
Professor Stranoff’s face flushed crimson after her DM history was put on blast.
“Hey, you son of a—! Get that off right now!”
“Why should I?”
Feynman grinned slyly and played dumb, his usual polite tone laced with unmistakable sarcasm.
Stranoff ground her teeth.
“Pfft!”
One by one, the graduate students failed to hold back their laughter. Professor Stranoff shot them a withering glare.
She made a throat-slitting gesture at herself.
If you want to graduate, watch your step.
“Haah.”
I stopped stomping in place and peeked into the makeshift kitchen. Popcorn. I needed popcorn.
By the microwave, Zernya stood with her arms crossed, bouncing on her heels.
Our eyes met.
Zernya flinched, her body trembling.
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, none of your business.”
“Growth-plate stimulation exercise?”
Zernya, who had burrowed into my arms, smacked my lower abdomen.
“Urk!”
“Be quiet.”
Apparently I’d struck a nerve.
“In my opinion, at eighteen the growth plates are already closed. So even if it doesn’t work, there’s no need to be too resigned. I still think you’re plenty attractive in other ways.”
I nearly became a eunuch for saying that.
“Kuh-heo-eo-eo-eok……!”
“Shut up. Shut up already.”
Just then came the cheerful popping of popcorn. Thanks to that, no further tragedy occurred.
Hiding the steaming popcorn behind me, I left the kitchen. Couldn’t let the hyenas catch wind of this.
We nibbled one kernel at a time from a spot just out of the seniors’ line of sight. Fortunately, they didn’t seem particularly interested in us.
Anyway, Zernya and I watched the movie for a while. Its title was Love and Theses.
In the second scene, the male lead storms into the female lead’s house and turns everything upside down.
“Anyway, from now on we’ll be conducting our research here.”
“What? Are you insane? This is my lab!”
“Idel is in this lab. Since he’s our student, this lab is naturally ours.”
A brilliant shift in perspective.
“Unless Idel returns to Stellarium, we’ll stay here for days—weeks, even.”
“Have you lost your mind? Don’t you have work to do in your own lab?”
“No assignments are coming in.”
Another brilliant shift in perspective.
When the male lead nodded, the extras behind him sprang into action.
They pitched tents and set up desks. Camping cookware and toiletries were the least of it. They’d clearly come prepared with everything.
“You lunatics!”
The female lead clutched the back of her neck.
This wasn’t over yet.
The male lead placed a small box on the desk.
“From now on, we’ll be collecting tolls.”
The front of the box read: 10 credits per entry. Below it: All tolls will be used as research funds for the Quantum Gravity Theory Lab.
Now I saw they’d camped right at the only entrance.
The other door was a double door; if the male lead locked it, no one inside could get in or out.
A truly masterful use of terrain.
Meanwhile, the other side of the box bore a different message.
[Idel von Rheinland — Free]
Meaning the toll is… waived, I suppose?
“Richard! I’m disappointed in you. How can anyone be this shameless?”
“The shameless one is you. Trying to sever the bond Idel and I built through papers with mere pocket change. It’s enough to shake the galaxy and make the Outer Gods gasp!”
— ‘God of Wisdom and Curiosity’ nods in agreement.
“If you return Idel, we’ll withdraw quietly.”
“Stop talking nonsense and get out. Get out right now!!”
Eyes blazing, Professor Stranoff hurled a triangle ruler. Professor Feynman caught it lightly between two fingers.
“Oh.”
Zernya let out a small gasp and crunched her popcorn.
“This is all because of you, isn’t it?”
“If you think about it, yes.”
“You really got up to all sorts of things without me knowing.”
Two hours into the Feynman-Stranoff war. When the prolonged barrage finally died down, both sides paused to regroup.
I waited in a side room as a prisoner. Martial law had been declared over the entire lab, and we were cracking hazelnuts while chatting.
I say “we” because Zernya was with me.
“Hey, you can leave whenever you want.”
“The money’s a waste.”
Zernya clicked her tongue, fiddling with her wallet.
“Time’s not a waste?”
“Not really. If it were, I’d have escaped already.”
Professor Stranoff was still negotiating with Professor Feynman. In the meantime, Zernya finished the remaining popcorn while I threw myself into revising my paper.
There wasn’t much I could do.
I need an Outer God. A suitable one that can serve as proper research data inside the resonator.
At this point, should I climb onto the experiment table myself?
— ‘God of Wisdom and Curiosity’ flinches.
Just kidding. The Bond effect makes it impossible anyway.
If I locked Cartesia inside the resonator, I’d have to spend the rest of my life calling her “master” in that cramped black hole.
I absolutely refuse that ending.
In the end, I have to bring Ire.
But the moment Ire leaves the Holy Spirit Cow, she’ll probably go mad. Outer God Sapaul is watching her very closely.
Moving the resonator all the way from here to the south? Insane.
Never mind the cost—it would take two months just to recreate an environment similar to the Holy Spirit Cow.
And by then summer vacation would be over.
Summer vacation ending means fewer days to commute to Iryuel Academy for research.
“No good.”
I have to carry out the plan as soon as possible.
Just then—
“I really shouldn’t associate with that man!”
Professor Stranoff grumbled as she opened the door. I didn’t know what she’d done, but she was drenched in sweat.
I stood up for no reason and handed her a handkerchief.
“How did it go?”
“Idel, don’t come out of here.”
Things hadn’t gone well.
Stranoff ranted about Feynman. Her furious curses carried traces of regret and despair.
“I’m sorry for keeping you here. But there’s no other way. For now, I’ll compensate you with this, so later buy something nice with your girlfriend. Got it?”
And so I received a check worth a hundred million credits. This woman was clearly not in her right mind.
Soon after, she pulled a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and drank straight from it.
“Haah. Just one more bottle……”
Two bottles. Three. Four. Good grief, how many did she have?
Before long, it began.
“Huuu, you foolish man.”
Drunken rant time.
“Am I really such a flawed woman? A woman with personality problems? It’s not like I locked him up at home like some psychopath on the news, or chased him around with a knife!”
There’s only one way to survive a superior’s drunken rant: agree enthusiastically and wait until they pass out.
“I just… followed him all the way to grad school. What’s so scary about that……! Hey, am I wrong? Idel?”
“You seem burdensome because you’re too beautiful, Professor.”
“Then, sob, that’s a relief…… it’s not a relief at all!!”
Ah, so happy. My eardrums felt ready to burst.
“Then should I change my face a little? Or ruin my figure?”
I think the Japanese have a word for this, but I can’t remember.
Yandere? No, that’s not quite it.
“Ah! Right, the family! If I abandon my family, it’ll be fine. Since birds of a feather flock together, if I throw away the tenth-generation family plaque, then I too with him……”
Stranoff couldn’t continue and hung her head.
“The smell of alcohol is really strong in the side room.”
“Ventilation. Ventilation.”
After roughly tidying up, I peeked out the door. Zernya slipped her head out below mine.
Because Professor Stranoff was here, the graduate students’ vigilance had loosened. With luck, we might slip past the surveillance net all the way to the entrance.
Next, I checked the opposite camp.
Professor Feynman and the other seniors were nowhere to be seen. Only Planse senior stood guard in front of the double doors like a sentry.
A good sign.
“The situation looks favorable. Even an idiot could escape now.”
“Sorry, Zernya, but I’m not planning to run away right now.”
“What? Why?”
“I have to draw the bigger picture.”
“Senior. Planse senior.”
“Uh, kya— you startled me……!”
I covered his mouth and brought a finger to my lips. The struggling senior soon nodded.
We hid inside the tent to avoid detection. Only after locking the inner door and zipping the tent shut could we finally relax.
No one was there except me, Zernya, and Planse senior.
“Where’s Professor Feynman?”
“He’s busy. Only I’m here right now.”
“I see.”
This was the perfect situation.
Planse senior grabbed my hand and wiped away tears. I thought I heard him mutter “Now I can graduate,” but I ignored it.
“Just a moment. I’ll contact the professor right away……”
“Wait. No need for that.”
I calmed the senior while fiddling with the check in my pocket. Planse senior tilted his head.
Zernya watched us with her arms crossed, clearly waiting to see how I would spin this.
“Planse senior. Do you know what kind of relationship Professor Feynman and Professor Stranoff used to have?”
The senior nodded.
“Professor Stranoff still has a one-sided crush on Professor Feynman. Today’s incident was nothing more than a lovers’ quarrel.”
“Professor Feynman isn’t very keen on Professor Stranoff. He’s basically a free spirit—the type who’d rather read papers than build a family.”
“But doesn’t he have some interest?”
“I don’t know that much.”
A wise answer.
The probing phase was over. I slowly changed the subject.
“The reason I thought Professor Stranoff’s lab suited me better was the funding. Being able to pursue new ideas without budget constraints was really nice.”
“……Is that so?”
“I’d like to recommend co-work to you, senior.”
The senior wasn’t an idiot. He spoke, his breathing slightly uneven.
“So you’re telling me to switch professors now?”
I smiled faintly.
“Junior, do you really not know how small this field is? For you, as an undergrad, it doesn’t matter, but once you’re in grad school, switching labs without a legitimate reason will definitely cause bad rumors. I can never betray Professor Feynman……”
“It’s not switching, senior. It’s carpooling. Carpooling.”
“What do you mean……”
“Professor Feynman has an abundance of ideas. Professor Stranoff has an abundance of funds. Even their fields are similar. It’s hard to understand why these two have never collaborated from the past until now.”
As Planse senior said, the field was already small.
If people in the same field don’t collaborate, good papers won’t come out.
“I hope you understand the true reason I came to this lab, senior.”
“The true reason, huh.”
Hesitation began to show on Planse’s face. This was my chance.
“Take it, senior.”
“No, this is! This money……!”
“It’s part of the ‘snack money’ the professor gave me. You seem to have lost a lot of weight lately.”
“But I……”
“……Ah, I’m sorry. This probably isn’t enough.”
I added the remaining half to what I’d originally received. Planse’s face turned pale.
“Do tenth-generation families really spend this much on snacks?”
“Yes. Most of them do.”
At times like this, possessing as a rich young master was truly helpful. My sense of money had changed.
“Still, I can’t accept this much money privately.”
“As expected of you, senior. Then use it as research funds.”
“……Junior.”
“Well then, I’ll be going now.”
I stood up confidently. Just as I opened the zipper and was about to leave the tent with Zernya, I felt resistance on my right wrist.
“How much salary do they give there?”
A bite.