A Wise College Life (1)
The whiskey gurgled as Professor Stranoff filled her glass and dropped in a few ice cubes.
“Care for a drink?”
“Me, Professor?”
“Yes?”
“I’m still a minor.”
She let out a soft “Ah,” as if only now realizing. I sighed and continued.
“Besides, we’re inside the college. Isn’t bringing alcohol onto campus grounds prohibited?”
This wasn’t some empty lecture hall; it was a professor’s private laboratory. Holding a drinking party here felt like it was trampling on the dignity of academia.
“Hehe, Rheinland, you really are a model student, aren’t you?”
She topped off her glass with carbonated water and flashed a mischievous smile.
“As long as you don’t get caught, it’s all good.”
Well, sure. Whether it’s adultery or murder, if you don’t get caught, you’re innocent. The real problem is your conscience.
In the end, I chose to wet my throat with soda instead of alcohol. I’ve always been weak to liquor anyway. The thought of making some drunken mistake here terrified me.
“Scared?”
“Scared.”
“What a shame.”
I wasn’t about to fall for some spinster professor’s provocations. It was all so obvious.
As time passed and the mood ripened, Professor Stranoff’s face grew loose. Her eyes turned glassy, her expression sloppy. Her arms and legs flailed like a newborn’s, and her voice grew coquettish, almost flirtatious.
She grabbed my arm and whined.
“Rheinland. Can’t you stay up all night debating with me?”
Ma’am, that’s embarrassing.
“Huuuung. Just listen to me for a bit.”
Please, stop. This is getting pathetic…
My inner conflict deepened. I couldn’t just shove a research colleague away like that. Above all, she was a professor. The key figure who would lead the graviton resonator research. I couldn’t openly reject her.
In the end, I endured her clinginess with the grim resolve of Sima Yi holding the line at Wuzhang Plains. And in the process, I heard far too many stories I never wanted to know.
“That bastard… he rejected my confession three times. I will never, ever forgive him. I’m going to grab him by the collar and throw him straight into the particle accelerator! You should suffer a little too, huuuu…!”
Whether from drinking too much, her tongue kept twisting and her speech grew slurred. I almost felt like wiping away those welling tears—yeah, right. This was the first time in my life I’d seen such raw hysteria.
“Richard, I’m going to kill him. For real, huuuu.”
Professor Feynman. Just what kind of fight did you pick with her?
“Professor.”
“Whaaaaat?”
“Thank you for the master’s admission offer. I’m grateful you value me so highly. Even though you’re busy with research and lectures, the fact that you took the time for a sincere conversation with me means a lot.”
“Then don’t goooo.”
“Still, I need more time to think this over. Thank you. I’ll be leaving now.”
“No, no. Nooooo.”
For a drunk middle-aged woman throwing a tantrum, a blanket was the perfect solution. I left her behind and stepped out into the cold wind of Iryuel Academy, heading for the station.
“……”
Let’s just pretend tonight’s drinking party never happened.
The mandatory lab tour was finally over. Ah, the long days of humiliation and oppression had come to an end. Idel was free!
[This is Professor Stranoff…]
I gently trampled the belated realization email from the professor. The so-called “read-and-ignore.” In truth, I was giving her time to fix it. After all, if the recipient doesn’t open it, you can still cancel the send.
Anyway, today I felt good for the first time in a while. Why? Because I’d had a constructive conversation with Professor Feynman.
“I plan to conduct research on discovering the graviton.”
It had appeared. The main storyline!
When dividing the development of the Graviton Bomb into four stages, the very first step was “the discovery of the graviton.”
The graviton. Its existence had been predicted long ago, but because humanity’s technology was still lacking, it remained an undiscovered, pathetic, piece-of-shit particle.
“Oh, so the time has finally come to end this game of hide-and-seek?”
“No, you crazy bastard. We might not even graduate if this goes wrong.”
“Let’s toss this topic to our junior, Rheinland. Hehe.”
Thank you soooo much, sunbaes. How gracious of you to throw a research topic at this humble underling. I’m truly moved.
“But Professor, there’s a problem.”
“Go on.”
“We don’t have any money.”
“……”
Breaking news: research topic canceled. No, fuck—my entire Graviton Bomb production plan!!!
“It is a fatal flaw of theoretical labs. Whether through government grants or corporate sponsorship, securing project funding is incredibly difficult.”
“Isn’t that why we have simulations?”
“Student. Our goal right now is ‘discovery.’ Simulations don’t mean much here.”
At Professor Feynman’s sharp remark, Graduate Student No. 1 sank. Immediately after, No. 2 and No. 3 fired back with pointed questions about how we would secure research funds, what the theoretical outlook would be, and how the experimental plan would look.
Our advisor offered a simple solution.
“We’ll try to persuade the government.”
Indeed. No plan was the plan.
“How exactly?”
“Thanks to Student Idel’s recent achievements, a ray of light has fallen on theoretical research. You’ve sent a message to the public that theory can generate money and is important. There’s no better time to persuade those above us.”
Professor Feynman spoke with smug confidence. As expected of a theorist—he was far too pure.
I, Lee Jin-soo—a man born and raised in a country where proposals were written only to be brutally rejected, research budgets slashed, and the “fuck theory” sentiment ran rampant—already knew Professor Feynman would fail.
And sure enough, it happened.
“It was rejected…”
“Why? Your proposal was well written.”
“They said it lacked scalability and profitability.”
I knew it.
“Idiots. Rejecting it just because it doesn’t make money.”
— The ‘God of Wisdom and Curiosity’ lets out a hollow laugh.
I patted the despondent Professor Feynman on the back and said,
“I’ll try funding it with my family’s assets if I have to.”
“Student, you might get kicked out of the house if you do that.”
“Even so, I’ll find a way.”
I’d just have to become the family head. For that, fame was crucial. And to build that fame, the only thing I could do right now was research.
I had to establish the frame: “This guy is a scientist who specializes in fucking up Outer Gods.” At the very least, I needed to become famous enough that even if I packaged my own shit in a can and sold it online as “Outer God Repellent Air Freshener,” people would still buy it.
But for now, with no tangible results, the days simply flowed by.
Then one day, an email arrived.
[Reminder: This is Professor Stranoff…]
Not this one.
[January Freshman Orientation Guide]
Yes. This one.
That’s right. I, Lee Jin-soo—now in my second year since possessing the body of Idel von Rheinland—had ended up attending college for the second time.
Flashback to October of last year.
The moment Jernya learned that Idel had gone to college, she skipped her midterms with a giant middle finger and ran around everywhere. The academic affairs office, administrative office, college admissions department, administrative headquarters, the Adelbein family, the Ministry of Education—she went to all of them and whined.
Let me graduate early, heeng heeng.
But no matter where she asked, she only received the same answer.
“According to the Higher Education Act, if you pass the early graduation review, you can immediately transfer into the college program.”
In other words, get your diploma first and then take the damn test.
“Who says I can’t do it?”
A venomous light burned in Jernya’s eyes.
She didn’t even glance at the midterm and took it half-heartedly. Why? Because she still came in first.
She had lost to Rustilla in swordsmanship, but in every other subject she crushed her classmates like deboning a fish and claimed the top spot.
Even so, she wasn’t happy.
“You only took first because Idel’s gone. It’s basically a free win.”
“Even then, you’re still beneath Idel.”
“Rheinland was smarter. And he had a better personality.”
“The fact that he didn’t go to college and stayed here in the first place already means you lost. Real geniuses are on another level, you know.”
Her classmates kept scratching at her nerves. The constant “Idel this, Idel that” was driving her insane.
Paradoxically, because he was gone, she even felt lonely.
You climbed to the top and still wanted to go higher, yet why am I satisfied with this throne…?
First place. Something that had once been so natural no longer felt natural at all.
Anyway, to meet Idel, she had to graduate early. With that goal in mind, Jernya poured everything into the final exam period.
She had to earn an evaluation equal to—or higher than—Idel’s.
And Jernya succeeded.
Name: Jernya von und zu Trisha Adelbain
The above student’s academic level has been judged suitable for the college mathematics curriculum. We hereby approve her graduation from this institution and her transfer into the college program.
She lost a few points in the interview when asked about her future plans, but she had still done it.
Holding her diploma, Jernya giggled to herself. The thing she looked forward to most was Rustilla’s reaction. When the girl realized that in her second year, there was no sign of her anywhere in the academy, what kind of face would she make?
“Just wait, Idel.”
I’m coming.
— You have failed the sudden quest.
— As a penalty, 50,000 Fron will be accumulated.
“Ugh!”
When Ire exhaled, blood poured from her mouth. Her body staggered; she barely caught herself against the wall and vomited. It felt as if her intestines were being torn apart and her brain was burning.
“Haa… haa…”
How many times had this prank been played on her now? If she had known, she would have stayed locked up in the Holy Spirit Sanctuary. But she had no choice. If she remained there any longer, she would clearly be transferred back to Alcatraz.
“Move, girl. Don’t you have a mission to save your own kind?”
The Outer Deities holding her reins giggled and kept urging her on. It was all empty talk, of course. In reality, they were extracting “stellar energy” from her suffering.
The more Ire rolled around in agony, the more she broke—the more stellar energy poured out. That energy could be converted into coins, a resource the Outer Deities adored.
“Goddamn it… ack…!”
After taking a few steps, Ire slipped in a narrow alley and collapsed. It was all because of her trait. If only she hadn’t been born with this cursed body…
“Then you wouldn’t have been controlled by us. Kekeke.”
“That’s why we gave you the quest to kill the parents who gave birth to you like this, right? Hahaha.”
“Enough chatter. If you want to live, move your ass, you lowly bitch!”
It tasted bitter. Even so, she had to stand up. If she couldn’t save the world, only the loop awaited her—an endless cycle of suffering.
— A new quest is beginning.
Ire looked up at the empty air with dead-fish eyes. Another quest had appeared there.
Eliminate Idel von Rheinland.
She didn’t want to think about it for long.
Mental Induction has been activated.
The corners of Ire’s mouth twisted grotesquely. She already knew the current Idel’s movements thanks to her Tracking ability.
Early graduation. Stellarium College.
Ire slowly walked toward the application office.