Returned to hell.
Returned to hell.
Huuuuh.
The cigarette smoke I exhaled rose into the night sky.
The cigarette I lit for the first time in 10 years tastes sweet.
Ppeueueueueup.
I took a deep drag, hard enough to hear the sound again.
I wish the memories tormenting my body and mind would just vanish like the smoke.
Still, having a cigarette in my mouth—the one my wife used to bitch and moan about me smoking—feels like a bit of comfort.
Fuck. If I'd known it would come to this, I should've married the cigarette instead of that woman.
As I took comfort from the cigarette, I recalled the conversation from earlier and let out a hollow laugh.
Heh. Hehehe. Hehehehe. Fuck. Life is such bullshit.
I wasn't looking for comfort or pity, but still, I thought there'd be at least one word of concern. But the words that came out of her mouth after hearing everything were far beyond my expectations.
"Let's get a divorce. This time, it's for real."
What the...
Were you just running the numbers in your head while listening to me? Already? Wow, your math is fast. Fuck.
"I'll take half the assets, fair and square."
Fair? It wasn't that I had nothing to say; I was so dumbfounded I couldn't speak.
I was the sole breadwinner the entire time until we got this house.
While I was working, you were busy running around to shopping malls, yoga, and pilates.
And yet, you'd insist we share the housework, working me to the bone the moment I got off work.
But inertia is a scary thing.
Already tamed by that lifestyle, I just listened without a word.
Until the next words came out.
"Just make sure to give me alimony separately."
"Alimony? Why would I?"
"Because we're forced to divorce because you're sick. It's not my fault I'm becoming a divorcee, is it?"
"Then is it my fault? Is it my fault I got cancer?"
"You should've managed your own health, shouldn't you? Look at other husbands these days. They manage themselves so well. Isn't health management the basics of being a head of household?"
Fuck. What is this?
That phrase definitely wasn't meant to be used in this situation.
After putting it off for months, I couldn't take it anymore and used the time while my team leader was in a meeting to visit the hospital.
Because work was busy, and because of those damn vacation plans, I kept pushing it back, and finally got a proper checkup after years. And the bill was much more expensive than I thought.
"Mr. Seo Young-jin. It's terminal stomach cancer."
The doctor's response was dry as a bone.
The words that followed were lines straight out of a common drama.
Prepare yourself mentally, tell your family, etc., etc.
Still, I thought I should tell her first, so I came home, sat my wife down, and told her what I heard.
And the answer I got back was.
Divorce. Alimony. And it's your fault.
Ah! So it's not entirely without cause. The doctor said the cause wasn't clear.
I feel like I'm getting cancer just from talking to her.
Come to think of it, my life has been a series of the same things.
Dirt spoon, bread shuttle, shitty college, student loans, shitty company, and marriage.
At school, I had to walk on eggshells around the Iljin,
In college, it was seniors and classmates,
Useless part-time job bosses,
Out in society, bosses and colleagues at companies that pay peanuts,
And after marriage, walking on eggshells around a wife who constantly whined about money and bragged about other husbands and her in-laws.
The more I replay it, the more it's truly fucked up.
A life where I've never done a single thing my own way.
To sum it up in one word: walking on eggshells.
Let me at least smoke to my heart's content.
Sseueueueueup. Huuuuuuh.
Damn it.
Is this what I lived and endured for?
I feel like throwing up.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuck!
If I could start over,
I could really live without regrets.
Are you sure?
Huh?
Are you sure?
What? But who are you?
Are you confident you could live without regrets if you lived again?
Start over?
It's too sweet. I'm going to die anyway, what do I have to lose?
Of course.
Then. Show me.
Show you what? But who are you?
Since I'm breaking the rules once, I'll throw in a gift too. Try to do well.
I don't know who that was.
Anyway, the important thing is that I've returned.
The starting point of my despair, where I fell into the abyss.
To school.
Snap.
Ah!
"Young-jin, you son of a bitch! A student sleeping on the job?"
I came to my senses from the shock of being hit on the back of the head.
But the scene unfolding before my eyes is both familiar and fresh.
Huh?
I see desks, a blackboard, students.
Students?
While I couldn't grasp what was going on, I got hit on the back of the head again.
Snap! Ah!
The shock snapped my half-dazed mind back to reality.
"Which bastard?"
I turned my head to see the guy who hit me. Huh? Dongsu?
"Ma Dong-su?"
A look of disbelief appears on his face.
"What is this bastard saying? Did he get hit and lose his..."
I can't even hear what he's blabbering about.
This is school.
Is it a dream? It's too vivid for that.
Or.
Did I return to school?
Fuck. This is bullshit.
The guy talking, seemingly unhappy with something, raised his hand and swung.
I reflexively blocked the guy's arm as he tried to slap my cheek.
Ma Dong-su laughed as if he couldn't believe it.
"What? Is this bastard crazy? You're smiling?"
The guy swatted away my blocking arm, and his palms rained down on my face and body.
Slap. Slap. Slap.
I just curled up and took the beating.
The pain coursing through my body made the current situation even clearer.
I think I really have returned.
Whether this is a dream or not, fuck.
This is really bullshit.
Contrary to my words, the corners of my mouth curled up slightly.
It feels fucking amazing.
The assault that continued during the break ended, and when the class bell rang, Ma Dong-su went back to his seat.
He left a comment about seeing me later, and if it were the old me, I would have trembled in anxiety throughout the class,
but as I am now, there's no reason to pay any attention to that.
I uncurled my body, packed my bag roughly, and ran out of the classroom.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
The friends, flustered.
Friends?
They're just spectators sitting in the same class.
Taking comfort in watching me get beaten.
Herbivores who believe they are safe while the predator is eating its prey.
Uh, uh.
Where is Young-jin going?
Hey. Where are you going?
The break is over.
The guys who saw me leaving the classroom are flustered as if they were the ones caught running away.
Afraid of getting scolded?
No, they're afraid of a situation they've never experienced.
Dongsu's expression, which I caught a glimpse of, is also a sight to behold.
Anxiety is rising on his flustered face.
I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
You pathetic little shit.
It's a remark directed at him now, and at my past self.
As time passed,
No, having traveled back in time, I know clearly now.
He struts around acting tough because he can use his fists a bit, but when an unexpected situation arises, he panics and can't do anything,
at the end of the day, an Iljin is just a high school student.
Skipping school?
Running away in the middle of the day?
Is that a big deal?
If this is a dream, it's just a bit of dream-play.
If it's reality, I already know.
That running away from school won't have any impact on my life.
Ah. Sorry. I guess it's a bit different for you guys.
But from my perspective, it's really nothing.
From the perspective of someone on their second playthrough.
For me right now, checking what my situation is comes first.
I slipped out of school and ran at full speed.
It's been a long time, but now that it's happened, I remember it clearly.
After getting off the bus to go home, my heart pounded like it was going to burst again.
I turned and turned through the complex neighborhood alleys, and finally arrived.
I see the house.
A three-story villa. The place I lived.
The house I lived in with my mother who passed away—no, who will pass away in a few years.
Beep beep beep beep. Click.
I opened the front door and walked in, and a wave of emotion washed over me.
It's the same.
Yes!
I clenched both fists and threw uppercuts into the air repeatedly.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It was perfect.
It's exactly the same as the house from my high school days.
With this, the possibility has increased even further.
No, I still need more confirmation.
I went to my room and turned on the computer.
If I had a smartphone, I would have checked immediately, but it's still a few years until the Apple phone comes out.
The old desktop computer with a spinning hard disk booted up slowly.
Wow. How did I wait for this? Hehehehe.
Accustomed to the speed of an SSD, I was getting bored with the boot process that dragged on.
Though even this is a welcome signal.
Just when I thought I should've cooked some ramen instead, I grabbed the booted computer and went online.
Today's date.
May 17, 2004.
Hehehehe.
I look up articles.
The main news these days is the election.
My memory isn't perfect, but I see familiar words.
Impeachment, Grand National Party, Uri Party. Kekekeke.
I couldn't help but laugh.
Wow, shit.
I didn't know these names would be so welcome.
And the US election is a hot topic.
President George Bush is fighting for re-election.
A future I know.
I scan other articles as well.
The more I look, the more familiar it is.
At this rate, it doesn't seem like anything has changed.
Then let's make an assumption.
I have returned to the past.
To my second year of high school.
If this is a purely regressed past without anything strange interfering,
and if I don't cause any major events that would significantly impact society,
it will flow according to the future I know.
Well, I don't need to know all the details.
In a few years, the Apple phone will come out and change the world,
and after that, K-pop will shake the world.
And real estate will explode, creating overnight rich people and overnight poor people.
And above all, crypto.
Need I say more?
Hehehehe.
If the future just flows in the scheduled order,
I can ride that flow and my life can run on a bright path.
Then let's see what I want to do now that I've returned.
First of all, I need to make money.
At this point, the best thing is stocks.
I look up stocks on the internet.
I don't know what's best.
It would've been nice if I'd studied stocks hard, but who knew I'd come back to the past!
I have no choice but to do my best with what I have.
Let's scan everything first.
Oseong Electronics. LC. Hyeonsan Car, etc., etc.
Let's skip the big ones. Let's focus on the small fry.
If I do that, something will turn up.
What else is there? What? What?
As I scanned the stock names on the portal, one name caught my eye.
Fuck. I guess I'm just a high schooler after all. Kekekeke.
This caught my eye, and...