Chapter 376: Paracelsus's Spirits
Chapter 376: Paracelsus's Spirits
“Brother. Do you know what you call it when a bug hits a stone?”
“Pardon?”
“An in-sect-ident.”
“???”
Why was Helena the one who broke instead of my status window?
I was stunned by the sudden, nonsensical humor the moment I woke up, but Helena wasn't finished yet.
“If a bug is in pain, it’s an in-firmity.”
“…Helena?”
“If a bug builds a castle, it’s in-service.”
“Why are you doing this, exactly?”
“Wouldn’t the god of bugs be an in-divinity?”
“Please, stop…”
“Oh, and if you get hit by a bug, it’s an in-pact.”
“…….”
Helena nodded with a look of immense pride. Then, her golden eyes sparkling, she peered into my face.
She looked as if she couldn't contain her excitement, eagerly awaiting my reaction.
However, when her eyes met mine—and I was wearing a dead serious expression—she awkwardly averted her gaze and began to mutter in a small voice.
“Lord! You said this would work!”
“Isn’t it funny?! And you laughed too, Helena!”
“What does that matter! Brother Yandel doesn't find it funny at all! Have you actually told these jokes to anyone else before?”
“It’s true! Everyone laughed like crazy!”
“…Just in case, may I ask when, where, and to whom you told these jokes?”
“Three hundred years ago, to the Allied soldiers when we were surrounded on all sides in a desperate situation…?”
“Then that was just laughter born of escapism!”
Helena had achieved the contradictory feat of screaming under her breath, but with my ears having grown even more sensitive since obtaining the Dragon Heart, I heard every word.
I see. It was Solari who was broken. Or perhaps both of them, since Helena said she laughed too?
Well… strictly speaking, it’s probably just that the Eurelia Continent’s sense of humor doesn't mesh with mine. There were previous cases like Carla’s jokes or the Imperial Giggle Humor Collection, after all.
I cupped Helena’s cheeks with both hands while she was still muttering and bickering with herself.
“Hic!”
Startled, Helena’s head was forced toward me, making her look me straight in the eye.
“What is it? Why are you two talking amongst yourselves? Let me in on it.”
“That is…”
“In the first place, what was that joke just now?”
“Well, you see…”
Helena’s eyes darted back and forth, but she eventually sighed as if giving up.
“To be honest, haven't you been feeling quite down ever since you declared yesterday that you would kill the Fake Carla?”
“Me?”
“I thought you would be fine after a night’s sleep, but you still seemed troubled. I was worried, so I asked the Lord for a way to cheer you up, and she told me to do this…”
“I see.”
I toyed with the cheeks of the now-sullen Helena as I processed what I’d just heard.
“So, you tried your best because I looked like I lacked energy?”
“Yes…”
Helena remained dejected, likely thinking her efforts had been in vain. Instead of taking my hands off her face, I gave her backside a firm pat.
“Eek?!”
“Thank you. The jokes weren't exactly funny… but thanks to them, I’ve found some energy.”
“…I feel like the 'energy' you've found is of a slightly different nature.”
“Either way, I’ve got strength now, so isn't that what matters?”
When I said that playfully, Helena let out a small chuckle and nodded.
“Understood. If you are happy, Brother, then there is no problem.”
“Then let’s leave it at that and check our equipment again. This dungeon becomes significantly easier if we just prepare thoroughly.”
“Yes. With our current strength, we could probably just sweep through it with brute force… but there’s no need to make things harder for ourselves.”
Having finally returned to her usual self, Helena turned away with her characteristic benevolent smile.
She took a few steps toward where her luggage was kept, then suddenly stopped.
Divine power surged out of nowhere, and familiar lion ears and a tail popped out!
Solari, who had taken over the surface, backed up toward me while still facing away, thrusting her rear out in my direction.
She didn't say a word, but the moment I saw her tail wagging toward the ceiling, I knew.
She wanted her butt patted just like Helena.
Perhaps the reason Helena grew to enjoy spanking was entirely because of Solari. Whether it was a racial trait or not, Solari had a habit of arching her back to make her hips more accessible whenever she got excited…
But that’s ultimately Helena’s body, isn't it? Had she been conditioned without even realizing it?
At that thought, a sudden sense of mischief rose within me. Instead of a gentle pat, I gave her a sharp smack.
Slap!
“Kyarr-rung…!”
For some reason, she seemed even happier.
…Well, if she likes it, then whatever!
*
As soon as we finished our preparations, we teleported back to the vicinity of the Great Forest. However, there was no need to ride Nidhogg this time.
The dungeon, which was one of Alfheim’s top secrets and didn't even have a name, wasn't located under Yggdrasil but rather on the outskirts of the Great Forest.
For the record, Helena’s Saintess-exclusive carriage, which we had used frequently before riding Nidhogg for the first time, was left behind at Yggdrasil.
The Holy Knights of the Church of Light, who arrived late, were supposed to take it back to Solaris after finishing their civil support and basic cleanup of the area.
…And by then, my statue should be more or less taking shape!
As I involuntarily shuddered at the thought of the image drawn by Cyclic Life, Iris approached me and asked a question.
“Master. I heard that monsters and unstable spirits will appear in this dungeon. Therefore, I have a request…”
“Hmm? Don't tell me you're planning to contract with a spirit there? Just so you know, since they weren't summoned, it wouldn't be illegal, but they aren't proper spirits, so a contract is impossible.”
“It is nothing like that! Why would I even be interested in spirits in the first place?!”
“What do you mean 'why'? You became a slave because you got caught trying to summon a spirit.”
“T-That was a false accusation! I’m telling you, it was a frame-up!”
“Your self-brainwashing is truly perfect.”
“Eek! Eeeeek…!”
When I nodded with an impressed look, Iris began to huff and puff, slapping my forearm.
However, perhaps because the Slave Imprint was gone, she wasn't just mimicking the motion like before; she could actually hit me now.
Chyap! Chyap!
As proof, a crisp sound erupted every time Iris swung her arm. Iris herself looked even more surprised by this than I was.
“Ah… U-Um, Master? Does it hurt a lot? I am sorry. I failed to control my strength…”
Iris carefully stroked my forearm with the expression of a child who had caused an accident. I lightly brushed the white hair of the flustered and apologetic Iris.
“It’s fine; this much doesn't really hurt. My physical abilities were already on par with an average knight, so I was sturdy, but I’ve become even tougher since getting the Dragon Heart.”
“Is that true?”
“Yeah. The moment I’m hit, my body instinctively concentrates mana to absorb the impact.”
While it wasn't as effective as refined Aura or a completed defensive spell, the body is strengthened just by concentrating mana.
Of course, there are clear limits… but it should be enough to block a smack from Iris’s delicate hands.
In fact, the area she hit didn't even turn red, let alone leave a handprint.
Seeing my forearm as white as ever, Iris nodded as if convinced.
“That is a relief. Still, I shall be more careful next time.”
“Sure, sure. But if it wasn't about a spirit contract, what were you going to say?”
“Ah, it is nothing major. Do you remember how Elisha gained enlightenment after seeing the magic you used to defeat Ugly Prosperity last time?”
“Of course. Don't tell me…?”
“Indeed. I have also gained my own enlightenment and have finally been able to organize it. Therefore, I wished to ask if you could leave the battles in the dungeon to Elisha and me, as there are a few things I would like to test.”
“There’s no reason not to. Then let’s go with you and Elisha doing the fighting while the rest of us provide support.”
“Thank you.”
Iris gave a small bow and scurried off toward Elisha. After watching her for a moment, I informed the others of the plan.
Carla and Iona acted as if they didn't care either way, but Helena and Solari, who were a bit excited after defeating two Evil Gods, seemed disappointed. Of course, they eventually nodded in agreement.
“Um… Junior?”
“Yes?”
Fay, the key to this dungeon raid, smiled sheepishly and held out her cupped palms.
“I have to wait outside anyway, right? I was planning to do some research in the meantime, but I’m a liiittle short on funds…”
“Ah, I forgot to tell you. Senior Fay, you have to enter the dungeon with us this time.”
“…Eh?”
“I mean, this dungeon is a sealed battlefield that contains Paracelsus’s workshop.”
“Whaaat?! This is the first I’ve heard of that! No, wait, why is the Great Alchemist Paracelsus even being mentioned here?! You said it was a place where crazy spirits and monsters were fighting!”
“It’s the first time I’ve mentioned it, so of course it’s the first time you’ve heard it.”
For reference, the Alfheim side speculated that spirits and monsters had fought during the Great War and ended up trapped in the dungeon together.
It was only natural that Spirit Stones, which stored their power, would be found where spirits were.
However, unlike the monsters who remained relatively sane thanks to the protection of an Evil God, the spirits, left abandoned and severed from the Spirit Realm, had broken down and gone mad… or so they likely understood it.
“Well, the reality is that they are failed prototypes of artificial spirits created by Paracelsus in his later years.”
“Artificial spirits…? What on earth is that?!”
Fay jumped in shock.
It was such a violent jump that Fay’s massive breasts bounced along with her, striking her own face.
Thwack!
“Gah!”
Clutching her nose, Fay continued to speak through teary eyes.
“Ex-explain… properly…”
“Let’s stop the nosebleed first.”
Fay, bleeding from a self-inflicted breast-slap…
Possible!