Chapter 340: Like a Platypus's Claws (4)
Chapter 340: Like a Platypus's Claws (4)
"To get straight to the point... it looks like we will be receiving support. Sir Havel said that even if it’s difficult, he will dispatch the Silver Knight Order."
"Oh...! That’s great news!"
"The only problem is that even if they leave now, it will take quite some time for them to arrive."
"Even if they teleport to the outskirts of the Great Forest, they have to move through the interior on foot. Can't we use Nidhogg?"
"I meant it would take that long even if we used it."
"Ah."
Now that I thought about it, it took us about three days to get here. Speed was of the essence; we couldn't afford to idle away several more days. Even at this very moment, the forces of Ugly Prosperity would be growing in number.
"Therefore, I’ve drafted a plan where you depart first and join up with them on-site... What do you think?"
Milone said this as she handed over a document.
It contained a well-organized summary of the plan.
To put it simply, we would arrive first and use Nidhogg to engage in hit-and-run tactics, harassing the enemy while minimizing our own losses.
Then, the World Tree, receiving information from Nidhogg, would accurately guide the late-arriving reinforcements to our location.
"This is actually better. While both sides would bolster their strength by waiting, their numbers would increase far more than ours."
"Yes. That was my reasoning when I drew up the plan... but since the one actually heading to the battlefield is the Duke of Lindelheit, I had to ask for your opinion. Since you're fine with it, we'll proceed as planned. Please take this."
"Huh?"
Milone handed over a wooden plaque that radiated a divine aura. Upon closer inspection, the emblem of the World Tree was intricately carved into it.
"It is a token symbolizing my proxy. Most people will follow your lead without much complaint if you show them this. The problem lies with Sir Grimhill, an Aura Expert, and Cardinal Tumila, a high-ranking priest..."
"Cardinal Tumila is a priest of the Lord of Cyclic Life. If that's the case, she won't be hostile toward me."
"True, especially since you've received the blessing of the Lord of Cyclic Life. Then the problem is indeed Sir Grimhill."
"Leave that to me."
Iris, who had been listening quietly, poked her head out and interjected.
"Iris? What are you going to do?"
"It’s nothing much. I simply happened to save Grimhill’s grandfather back when the Great War was in full swing. If I ask him to help as a way of repaying that debt, it should be fine."
"……."
"??? Why are you looking at me like that, Master?"
"Not his father, but his grandfather?"
"Is there a problem with that?"
"No, there's no problem, but I guess I just felt the weight of your years again. Anyway, that's how it is, Elder."
"D-Don't call me Elder!"
Iris hopped around, telling me to just call her normally. I pressed down on the top of her small head to calm her down and turned back to Milone.
"So, that's settled then?"
"...It seems so. I will have Nidhogg prepared immediately."
"When can we depart?"
"By tonight should be sufficient. I’ve informed the others as well, but please make sure everyone is in peak condition."
"You really don't need to worry about that."
Thanks to the Sun God's Favor and the elixirs made from World Tree materials, I had a body that didn't tire easily.
*
Did you know? It is said that male platypuses develop venom in their claws during the breeding season.
Venom, despite being a mammal. And apparently, that venom is powerful enough to kill a small dog.
What a truly remarkable creature. To think such a strike could come from that small, cute appearance.
How many creatures have perished under those secret, sinister venomous claws?
I guarantee you, there is no creature as fearsome as the platypus.
"...Does such a creature truly exist?"
In the dark underground. Inside Nidhogg, where we had boarded with the group gathered for this mission, Helena tilted her head in confusion.
Was it her natural temperament? Or was it a trait she gained by becoming the Saintess of Righteous Light?
Even in the underground, where the only light came from the bioluminescent moss clinging to the tree roots, Helena’s beauty seemed to glow.
I don't mean that metaphorically; she was literally the only one who stood out.
Of course, it might just be because no matter how many people she's among, I can find Helena instantly.
"It's true. I heard that such a strange creature lives in a place very far from here."
"No matter how I think about it, it doesn't sound like a naturally occurring animal. Could it be a chimera created by some mad alchemist in the past?"
"Uh... well, they reproduce, so they're probably not chimeras. ...Though they do lay eggs."
"A mammal that lays eggs? Stop lying, Brother. No matter how ignorant I am of the world, I know that's impossible."
"I'm telling you the truth..."
"Yes, yes. If you say so, Brother, let's go with that. So? What were you trying to get at?"
"Just... that's exactly how we feel right now, isn't it?"
The forces of Cyclic Life remaining on the surface might be a bit of a nuisance, but the opponents are elves, who are weak to lust.
Those bastards probably think that while they might not be able to do anything about the World Tree, they can devour Alfheim itself as easily as eating cake—and then we'll go bam! and appear before them.
"They probably expected some resistance. But they wouldn't have expected me to show up."
"You speak as if your very existence is the natural enemy of those cultists. And indeed, it has felt that way so far..."
"It's not just a feeling; it's a fact. I'm about to prove it, so could you gather everyone together?"
"Surely you're not going to tell them that story about the weird creature..."
"No. But... they need to know how to fight the army of Ugly Prosperity."
When Helena stepped forward and called the people, they all gathered obediently, even if some took their time.
There was Grimhill, who sighed whenever he looked at Iris but listened well enough; Cardinal Tumila, who focused on Helena and me with a favorable attitude; and the rest of the people who gathered quietly, perhaps mindful of the greeting I had shown them earlier.
Imitating what Milone had done before, I tapped my foot to create a small platform.
Standing upon it, I looked over the gathered crowd and gave a bright smile.
"Everyone knows the general outline of the operation, right? Hit and run. Now, I’m going to teach you how to conquer Ugly Prosperity."
"Conquer...? You mean like their weaknesses?"
I nodded at Grimhill’s question, who still wore a grumpy expression.
"I should obviously tell you their weaknesses. But beyond that, I plan to tell you about the habits and countermeasures for the major monsters, the effects of their Authorities and how to deal with them, and finally, the personalities and patterns of the high-ranking cultists you should watch out for."
"Do you realize what you're saying? That's essentially military intelligence. It's not something you can find out through ordinary means... Did you perhaps plant a spy?"
"Oh, come on. The fanaticism of those cultists is no joke; how could I plant a spy? Even if someone managed to blend in, they'd be brainwashed and turned into a double agent before long."
"I'm glad you're at least aware of that."
"But there are ways to know everything. Just listen."
When I put it that way, Grimhill couldn't say anything more and simply nodded.
Seeing that, I curled my lips into a smirk and continued.
"Let's start with the monsters. As you all know, the main forces are Goblins and Succubus-type monsters. Among them, Goblins are absolutely obsessed with scents."
"Hmm. That's a common story. 'Pay attention to scents when dealing with Goblins'... even a novice adventurer knows that common sense."
"Correct. But do you know exactly what kind of scent they like?"
"...It's not certain, just a rumor, but I heard they like the scent of women."
"That's right. It's absolutely true. As you know, Goblins have an extremely high male population, and since these ones have been blessed by Ugly Prosperity, they suffer from constant sexual frustration. They're suckers for the scent of a woman."
In extreme cases, they love it so much that their formations will crumble as they go into a frenzy. Unless a top-tier individual like a Goblin King or a high priest of Ugly Prosperity personally stops them, they are almost impossible to calm down.
"I knew they were sensitive to smell, but to that extent?"
"Of course, they don't react this violently to just any smell. They only react intensely to a liquid made by fermenting female urine with several ingredients, including hallucinogenic mushrooms."
"You're insane! Are you planning to collect urine from the women here? Setting aside the shame, even if we collected it until we arrived, there wouldn't be much."
"Even if we collected it now, it wouldn't mean anything because there's no time to ferment it. ...That's why I made it in advance. Fortunately, I happened to have some on me."
"What."
Glares pierced me, asking why on earth I would carry around female urine on a regular basis, but I stood tall.
Monsters with unnecessarily large populations like Goblins remained on the surface in significant numbers even after the Great War ended.
Of course, their numbers were much smaller than before the War of the Gods, and Goblins are pathetic unless they're in a pack, so they were treated as mere pests at best...
But before I met Carla, I was even more pathetic than that.
No matter how many magical tools and potions I kept on hand, I was a being who could die from a lucky Goblin blade!
So, I had simply stocked up on a few bottles of Goblin-attracting perfume(?).
Really. It's not because I have some weird fetish.
So, I'd appreciate it if you didn't open your eyes wide and make a face like you've just reached some grim realization.
I shook my head desperately at my companions and looked forward again.
"I don't have a lot of them, so I can only give out one per person. Use them strategically."
"Even that is plenty..."
Ignoring Grimhill’s dubious expression, I handed out finger-sized bottles one by one.
Since time is practically frozen in the Inventory, there was no risk of them going bad. ...Wait, in a sense, were they already bad?
"However, it would be a waste to just use a potion that drives Goblins crazy for simple luring or breaking formations. So, we're going to throw these at the Succubi."
"You're planning to make them all go into heat together."
"Bingo. The Succubi will just frown at the foul smell, but the Goblins will charge at them like madmen. And as you all know... Succubus-type monsters, whether they're Succubi or Incubi, usually have both parts. In other words, to a Goblin, either one looks like a living hole."
"Civil war...! You can start a civil war!"
"Exactly. Individual prowess aside, it's a fact that we're outnumbered. So let's use everything we can."
Goblins who have lost their minds will pounce on the Succubi. Whether the Succubi kill the Goblins, submit to them, or just subdue them without killing.
What's certain is that both sides' combat power will be weakened.
As I said that, a faint look of admiration appeared on Grimhill’s grumpy face.
"I thought you were crazy at first, but you actually had a plan!"
"Of course. There's no need to fight fair against cultists. It won't work on anyone Archbishop-class or higher... but at least we'll be able to fight without worrying about the small fry."
"Impressive. I'd like to give this tactic a name for future reference; do you have anything in mind?"
"Uh, well..."
Since I couldn't think of a proper name, I told them the name of the strategy that players used to giggle about back in the H&A days.
"Make Love, Not War?"
"……."
For some reason, the 'you're a madman' looks returned.
I feel so wronged.