Chapter 32: What a Strange Person
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 32: What a Strange Person
"Why... are you suddenly telling me to eat this?"
"You don't want to?"
"No, it's not about whether I want to or not."
"Because I'm curious."
This person wasn't just your average lunatic. From a mage's perspective, I suppose my skill might seem unique and interesting, but still. Who just hands someone an eyeball and tells them to eat it?
"Are you charging me for this?"
"I don't need money."
This was the eyeball of an Umbra Valkyrie, a monster said to be found as deep as the 44th floor of the Labyrinth. To give away such a rare material for free just out of curiosity... I guess mages really are loaded.
"Well, alright then."
It’s only right to accept what’s offered. Honestly, I couldn't even tell if it was an eyeball; it looked more like a round glass marble.
"Hmm..."
The sensation as I gripped it confirmed it was indeed an eye. It felt like a tough water balloon—exactly the texture an eyeball should have. The shop owner rested her chin on her hand, glancing back and forth between the Umbra Valkyrie's eye in my hand and my face with an intrigued expression.
Crunch—
"Ugh...?!"
The moment I bit down on the eye, something strange flowed out. A searing, jelly-like substance flooded my mouth. Feeling like my oral cavity was about to catch fire, I hurried to swap my palate and esophagus with those of a Direwolf.
"Is it okay to chew and swallow?"
Since my mouth was full, I simply nodded in response. As always, the taste was a legendary disaster. I forced the eye down and fumbled for the canteen at my waist, gulping down water.
An indescribable pain swept through my mouth. Even after rinsing and switching my esophagus and palate back to human ones, the stinging sensation lingered.
It was only after I had emptied the entire canteen that I finally felt a bit of relief.
"Ugh, seriously. That was horrific."
"Does it taste bad?"
"Of course it does. Haven't you tried it?"
"I have."
"Well, I mean, who would eat such a... Wait. Why did you eat it?"
What was wrong with this woman? She looked perfectly normal, so why was she munching on monster eyeballs? Not that I was one to talk, but at least I had the reasonable excuse of my skill.
"Just because. I was curious."
To eat a monster's eye out of pure curiosity... She was truly a remarkable person.
"I thought my mouth was going to burn off. I've never felt anything like this before. What on earth was that...?"
"It's likely because of the Umbra Valkyrie's mana."
"Is its mana different somehow?"
"It feels like it's burning. When it touches organic matter."
"Wait, then wouldn't you die?"
"You didn't die, fortunately."
"Well... that's true."
Did she have a screw loose? Looking at the state of my esophagus, it didn't seem to burn intensely enough to vaporize things on contact, but still. I was lucky it only ended with a stinging sensation. The worst of the damage was probably sustained by the Direwolf esophagus.
"Hmm, it's not changing?"
"It only changes when I want it to. It doesn't happen automatically just because I ate it."
"Change it."
"Yeah, I'll give it a try."
Since I'd eaten it, I might as well use it. I didn't know exactly what an Umbra Valkyrie looked like, but it was a formidable creature from a floor as high as the 44th.
I concentrated and squeezed my eyes shut. I attempted to transform my left eye into the Umbra Valkyrie eye I had just consumed...
"Gah, ahh...! My eye...!!"
"Try to endure. You'll get used to it."
"You've never even done this yourself...!!"
It felt like my left eye socket was being torched. It was the exact same pain I'd felt in my throat and mouth. Damn it, because it was so close to my brain, the pain was absolutely agonizing.
Clang—
"Ugh...?!"
"Stay still. The pain is fake. It's just designed to feel painful."
Black chains manifested from thin air, binding my arms. The shop owner, who had cast the spell by simply reaching out without a staff, began chanting again. Soon, another spell surged toward me.
When she said 'it feels like it's burning,' she didn't mean it was actually on fire, but that it simulated the sensation of burning!
"It's a pain-relief spell. Focus and feel it. Overcome the false pain."
"Shit...! You call this fake!?"
Thud—
A chair flew from behind and struck the back of my knees, forcing me to sit. As I sat there clutching my eye socket and groaning for a while, the pain gradually began to subside.
"Phew, I thought I was going to die."
"How is it? Feeling better?"
"Ugh, yeah. That was quite the experience."
The pain hadn't vanished completely, so I couldn't open my eye yet. It felt like someone had pried my eyelid open and poured crushed glass onto my eyeball. There was no way I could just snap it open.
Tears were streaming from my left eye socket; it felt like all the water I'd just drunk was leaking out through there.
"Want to try opening your eye?"
"Hold on. It's still a bit difficult."
"You're high-maintenance."
"No, I'm not."
She was a cold-blooded woman who couldn't empathize with others' pain. Even though she was the one who caused it! If she weren't so pretty, I would have flipped this shop upside down.
Just kidding, of course. I'm not that reckless.
"Whew, alright. I'll try."
"Yes. Please do."
I struggled to slowly lift my left eyelid. Tears kept flowing, making it quite a challenge.
Finally, after several more minutes of wrestling with the horrific sensation of a foreign object in my eye, I managed to open it. But then...
"What... what am I looking at right now...?"
"How should I know?"
"No, I mean... what is this?"
The world was in black and white. It wasn't like an old camera at all. It was more like a high-resolution photo taken with an incredible camera, where most of it was blurred out, leaving only specific parts clear.
Those clear parts were visible in extreme detail—to the point where I could see the individual grain of a wooden bookshelf in the distance.
And my vision was instinctively, aggressively assertive. It was like...
"I can see... your weaknesses."
"My nipples?"
"What? No."
"No?"
"Not... not that. Biological weaknesses, I guess. I can even see weaknesses in your magic. And that drawer back there—the second shelf from the bottom is too heavy. You need to remove those two strange black skulls. It's going to collapse within a month."
"Thanks."
In a world washed in hazy grayscale, certain parts glowed brightly to stand out. It felt like looking through a sniper scope, with various points of vulnerability being zoomed in on as if marked by arrows.
But there were dozens of these 'zooms' within my field of vision. It was as if my single pupil had split into dozens of strands, each focusing on something different. My head immediately began to throb as my brain went into overload.
"Ugh, I'm dizzy."
For now, I reverted my eye back to a Direwolf's. Phew, red-green color blindness is a walk in the park compared to this. What kind of cursed vision is that?
"Good job. Now, give it back."
"Huh?"
My brain momentarily stalled. What kind of crazy nonsense was this lunatic spouting now? Was she asking me to return the eyeball I just ate?
"The eye. Give it back."
"Wait. Do you think that's even possible?"
"It's not?"
"Of course not! How is something I ate supposed to just pop out of my hand?"
"It comes out of your eye socket."
"So you're telling me to pluck it out and give it to you?"
"Yes."
"Good grief. You're insane."
As if she still didn't understand, she tilted her head, stood up, and looked at me. Was this really a situation that required 'understanding'? Common sense dictates that something you eat through your mouth can't just crawl back out. Well, it could, but...
No, wait. Phenomena caused by skills are outside the realm of common sense, so that's not it. This irrational woman was literally asking me to gouge out my eye and hand it over. Is that something you say to someone who just experienced the sensation of their mouth and eye socket being set on fire?
"Look here. Did I eat that eye because I wanted to? You're the one who told me to eat it."
"Yes. I told you to eat it, and you did. So if I ask for it back, you should give it back."
"What kind of nonsense logic is that? It's impossible."
The shop owner sat back down, rested her chin on her hand again, and pouted at me. Should I just wreck the place? ...Probably not, I don't think I could win against her.
Judging by the magic she just used, she was clearly a high-ranking mage.
"What should I do? That was expensive."
"I wouldn't have eaten it in the first place if I knew you'd ask for it back. You said you wouldn't take any money."
"I'm not taking money. I just need the eye back."
"No, I... sigh."
This person was seriously unhinged. I was outmatched in terms of power, and since she didn't understand logic, I had no confidence in persuading her. What was I supposed to do?
"Ah, then how about you pay me for the information? The details of the Umbra Valkyrie's vision. That's information you can't get anywhere else."
"I already did. I replaced the Magic Crystal."
"That only costs 1.5 gold coins. The information I gave you is worth at least... well, let's say 5 gold coins."
How about that? Information worth five gold coins. Since this was a unique skill that had never been reported before, surely it was worth that much.
"Hmm, I see."
Surprisingly, the shop owner agreed to the price without haggling.
"By the way... how much did that eye I just ate cost?"
"I bought it for seventeen gold coins. And eighty silver coins."
"Uh..."
Holy shit. That's almost 18 gold coins. Should I have asked for more for the information? I'm screwed. How on earth am I supposed to earn that much money? Damn it, do I really have to summon it into my eye socket and pluck it out?
Was I really going to end up with an unwanted debt just two months after reincarnating into another world? Is the world forsaking me?
"Sigh... I don't have that kind of money right now. Isn't there... something else we can do?"
"Hmm."
The shop owner's eyes narrowed. The way she looked at me was exactly like a loan shark looking at a penniless debtor. Her intuition was spot on.
"You can run errands. Or help me with experiments."
"Experiments... are we talking human experimentation?"
"Probably."
"I have a normal life to lead, you know. It'll be a problem if it interferes with that."
"It won't."
"Are you sure?"
"Probably."
This woman, seriously.
Anyway, I was just glad I didn't have to pluck out my eye or pay back 13 gold coins. I've plucked out other people's eyes before, but I've never plucked out my own.
Besides, everyone I've taken eyes from was already dead. I was just harvesting loot within very humanitarian limits.
"So, uh, do I have to keep coming back here for errands or experiments?"
"I can call you."
"How?"
She pointed her index finger and traced a circle in the air. A piece of paper floated up and folded itself into a paper airplane. Then, the airplane flew straight toward my forehead.
Tap—
The paper, losing its momentum, fluttered down onto the desk and unfolded, revealing the writing inside.
'Errand.'
"Like this."
"I see. Well, just write down whatever you need for the errand and send it over."
"I'll do that."
Finally, she placed the ring with the replaced Magic Crystal onto a cushion and pushed it toward me. The gemstone, which had been a faint blue, was now red.
The base was still the same silver metal, but while it had looked a bit dingy before, it looked much cleaner now.
"Oh, what's your name, shop owner?"
She began to ponder my question. For about three minutes? It might sound short, but what is there to think about for three whole minutes when someone asks for your name?
Maybe she was coming up with a good pseudonym.
"Iris. Iris Albresto."
"I see."
"And you?"
"Me?"
Iris nodded. What name should I give here?
"It's Aven."
"Aven. Aven, I see. Well, goodbye, Aven."
As I stood up, she used magic to clear the chair and open the door.
"Hmm."
What a strange person.
Click—
Inside the shop after the customer had left, Iris stared intently at the closed door before leaning back into her chair.
"He's cute."