Chapter 157: If You Knew...
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 157: If You Knew...
“Lad, did you get everything sorted?”
“...Yes. Somehow or another.”
Father was crouched on a chair outside the room, gnawing on a piece of jerky. His expression was strangely dark. I wondered if something had happened.
“Father, is something the matter?”
“Lad. I am angry.”
“About what...?”
With his cheeks puffed out in a slight pout, Father glanced at me before tearing into the jerky again with renewed aggression.
“Why is it so big?”
“Pardon...?”
“Don’t tell me you obtained a ‘King-Sized Junk’ skill?”
“Uh... N-no, I don’t think so.”
At those words, Father gulped down the jerky he’d been chewing and slid off the chair like a puddle of jelly, his short legs dangling until they hit the floor.
“Then you’re saying that thing is its original size?!”
“F-Father... there are other people around. Please don’t say such things...”
“I’m jealous! My junk is gone! Oh, how I miss my junk!”
Suddenly, Father sprawled out on the floor, flailing his arms and legs in a full-blown tantrum.
I mean, why are you taking this out on me?
“Kuaaa! Even Marta told me I don’t have any junk anymore!”
“Well, that’s...”
As he wailed about his missing manhood in the voice of a young girl, the closed doors along the hallway began to creak open one by one. People poked their heads out, staring in our direction.
“Waaaaah!! Give it back!! Give me back my junk!!”
“Father, please, not here...”
For now, I simply picked up the tantrum-throwing Father from the floor...
This should do it.
And put him back in the room we had originally occupied.
“Honestly, what has gotten into you all of a sudden...”
“Hmph... My junk...”
Once I laid him on the bed and rolled him up in the blanket like a cocoon, the physical part of the tantrum finally stopped. If this kept up, the labyrinth exploration would never progress because he’d be too busy mourning his lost anatomy.
“Father, can’t you just... delete the skill?”
“I have already deleted skills five times...”
“Ah.”
Apparently, he had once gone to a highly skilled appraiser to have a fifth curse skill removed.
Of course, that was when he was younger, and his mana circuits should be stabilized by now, so he mentioned it might be possible to delete one more. If so, Father was standing at a crossroads.
He could return to being a man, regain even a small, non-functional prepubescent organ, and never set foot in a labyrinth again for the rest of his life. As a married man, Father needed to... well, do things with Auntie.
But since his body had regressed, he would have to wait for it to grow, which would create a massive physical age gap between him and Auntie.
Then there was the other option: just endure it for now and save that final deletion for a potential curse skill he might pick up later in the labyrinth.
“Um... I have a question, Father.”
“Yes. I know.”
“...Pardon?”
What was he talking about?
“No, no. Not that question. I have something else I want to ask.”
Good grief.
“Do you... feel anything? You know... like that?”
“What kind of feeling?”
“Like, do you get excited when you see a woman... or anything like that?”
“Not particularly.”
“Then why are you so obsessed with your junk...?”
“I wonder. I suppose I just suddenly started reminiscing about the old days.”
Still rolled up in the thin blanket like a human burrito, Father suddenly began to wax poetic about the past. He told stories of his youth when he was quite the playboy, how he met Auntie Marta and fell in love, and so on. He even mentioned Auntie’s beauty before she got her skill...
“Wait a second. Auntie has a skill too?”
“Yes, Marta used to be an explorer as well. She has the Obesity Skill now, but back in the day, her beauty was... chef’s kiss...”
“Wait, then why doesn't Auntie delete that skill...?”
“Well, she already has me as her man, and it made all the other annoying men around her disappear. Isn't that why?”
“Oh...”
This was news to me. To think Auntie’s physique was due to a curse skill. To be honest, it was hard to believe. Was the rumor about her being a master of the mace actually true? No wonder her accuracy with long-range attacks was so unnervingly good.
“Have you ever seen Marta eat a lot? She always eats like a bird and says she’s full.”
“Now that you mention it, I think you’re right...”
This was startling information. Honestly, I had just assumed Sera’s beauty was some kind of miracle of genetic lottery.
“So you met Auntie in Roanmarie?”
“That’s right! Marta was an explorer back then, too.”
Even with the curse skill, Auntie’s beauty was apparently so great that many men offered to pay for her skill deletion if she would date them.
In the end, Auntie moved to Calax, where no one knew her, opened an inn with the money she had saved, and settled into her current life. That was a story from over twenty years ago.
“Come to think of it, Auntie was the one who advised me to carry a hooded lantern instead of a torch. That was all knowledge from her explorer days.”
“Hyat! Actually, that was advice I gave to Marta.”
“Is that so?”
Father giggled while rolled up in his blanket, then let out a long sigh before sitting up and unwrapping himself.
“If you sink too deep into the past, your steps forward become heavy. It’s like wearing waterlogged shoes.”
“Are you finally getting up?”
“Yeah. Later, when we stop by the East District, I’ll have to visit an adult shop. I might as well attach a magic junk or something.”
“...Right.”
* * *
“Oi, you’re back.”
“You’re finally awake! Did you get a skill?!”
“I’m not entirely sure, but it seems so. I haven't checked what kind of skill it is yet... but there don't seem to be any noticeable changes.”
As I sat waiting at the entrance of the base, the three who had gone out returned. Mr. Gerick asked about my well-being and the skill, while Mr. Bontes was busy petting his cat, likely under the influence of his Cat Lover Skill.
“Here, we pulled the Damse’s teeth.”
“You guys certainly get the job done, don’t you?”
Mr. Gadel pulled something out of his magic pouch. It turned out to be four Ancient Damse teeth, the objective of their quest. They were black, crescent-shaped teeth that gave off a faint reddish glow when hit by sunlight. Since a single kill yielded four teeth, it was a very cost-effective quest considering it paid eight gold coins.
“If your body feels fine, let’s head down. We need to see the 30th Floor, don’t we?”
“Yes, sir.”
This was the 26th Floor Base, the final base in Calax. From the 27th Floor onwards, there were no bases; the teleport portals were simply plopped down in the middle of the forest.
At the 3rd Stratum base, they had cleared trees around the portal, built structures, and set up barriers to keep monsters out. But from the 27th Floor on, in the worst-case scenario, the area around a portal could be swarming with monsters.
Doesn't look like I’ve forgotten any luggage.
Perhaps because of the Ether Tree sap, my body felt overflowing with energy. Is this what it feels like when your total mana capacity increases? It wasn't a bad feeling at all.
“Alright, let’s move out!”
“Ooh! Sounds good!”
* * *
“By the way, didn't you mention something called a Bear Fish?”
“Ah, that’s right. Want to head toward the river?”
“I’m a beginner, so I’m not sure what’s best.”
The 3rd Stratum could be divided into two types of monsters: those on land and those that lived near or in the water. If you were lucky with your portal spawn point, you could potentially clear ten floors without ever seeing a water-type monster.
“If we go north, we’ll hit water. Right now, we’re...”
“If it’s a long detour, I’m fine skipping it.”
“No, it’s fine. We only have to veer off slightly to hit the water. You haven't eaten anything since you passed out, have you?”
“That’s true.”
In any case, because our spawn point was close to the water, we were able to make a stop at the river.
As the name suggested, the Bear Fish was a massive fish, as large as a bear, with vicious teeth. Fortunately, they didn't have forepaws, so I didn't have to worry about dodging claws in the middle of a fast-moving river.
“An Ether Tree would make a great fishing rod.”
“How do you catch a Bear Fish?”
“You have to go in and catch it yourself.”
“Eh?”
Instead of claws, you had to maintain your balance in the rapid current while dodging their charging patterns. If that was the case, it wasn't really fishing—so why make a fishing rod?
“They charge at the slightest scent of blood. You basically sharpen an Ether Tree branch into a stake, plant it in the riverbed, and when they charge, you pull—shwoop—and skewer them.”
The idea was to plant a sharp wooden stake, referred to as a ‘fishing rod,’ in the path of their charge and wait for them to impale themselves.
“Hmm, let me give it a try.”
“Sure. Do you have a clever trick up your sleeve?”
Bear Fish, being carnivorous, reacted violently to the scent of blood. Since I still had the Wild Boar carcass, I didn't need to cut my finger to lure them in.
If a Bear Fish charged to eat the Wild Boar carcass connected to my body, I could just use the Colossal Croco’s incredible bite force to eat it first.
And so, the biological Bear Fish trap was set.
The Wild Boar carcass was placed in a section of the river, its scent of blood wafting through the water. Before long, a massive grey fish came charging from the distance.
Now.
The moment its vicious teeth clamped onto the Wild Boar carcass—
—BOOM!
With a sound like the river itself was being shattered, the Colossal Croco’s maw snapped shut, swallowing the Bear Fish whole. Since Bear Fish were known to never let go of their prey once they bit down, even in death, there was no worry about the fish suddenly trying to eat through my internal walls.
All I had to do was immediately drain the blood, guts, and brain of the stored Bear Fish and then summon it onto the dirt ground.
—Tring!
“Kiyoooooo!!! That was amazing—!!!!”
“Wooooo!!! That looks delicious!!!!!!”
Mr. Gerick strummed his lute, and Mr. Bontes shouted in delight.
—Rumble...
“Looks like the screaming woke someone up.”
“Ah.”
If they knew that would happen, they should’ve kept it down.