The Goblin Comes to His Senses
“Got it. Good work.”
“No problem, sir. But do you really think the enemy used a magic tool to turn the monster into that?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“May I ask what makes you so sure?”
Aisa Lintun, the lieutenant who always asked me for evidence today as well.
Man, it's never easy answering these.
“Evidence? It's not so much evidence as... I just don't see any other possibility.”
“What does that— Never mind, sir.”
“We dig into this angle, and if it doesn't pan out, we pivot. Though I'm sure this is it.”
A voice brimming with conviction.
She probably saw me as some punk rolling dice at the college entrance exam, but what could I do?
If I admitted I could see the answer, it'd be cheating straight to jail.
“How much time until regular training?”
“About an hour left, sir.”
“Then let's go check on Blin.”
For the record, Blin was the cute name I'd given the goblin.
I'm losing my mind too, huh.
But what could I do?
Adding my old Korean service to this, I was in year three of military life.
Staying sane would be the weird part.
“How long do you plan to keep it around?”
“No idea.”
It had been a week since capturing the goblin alive.
Longer than I'd originally planned.
“There are weird rumors circulating in the company. Maybe we should deal with it soon.”
“Weird rumors?”
“Yes. It's awkward to say, but... they say you're torturing the goblin to relieve stress.”
“What the hell.”
No one treated a goblin more gently than me, and they call it torture?
This was fake news on steroids—pure malice.
“It seems like every time you go in, the goblin lets out those big screams, so...”
“Ugh.”
I'd tried all sorts of methods to snap it out of it, and the noises came from that.
Looks like my company boys misunderstood.
“I denied it for you, so it hasn't spread too far yet.”
“Thanks. Guess we end this today.”
Honestly, I had a way.
But I hated burning points, so I'd stuck to folk remedies. With rumors like this? Time for the nuclear option.
“Today?”
“Yeah, let's go.”
I headed to the warehouse where the goblin was locked up, Aisa now much more at ease around me.
“Shop.”
A pretty barren wallet.
I'd blown it all on strength potions.
It was definitely under food.
I tapped through categories until I found it.
◈ Clears the mind via tea leaf effects, freeing from abnormal states. Grants additional mental attack resistance for 2 hours.
◈ (Must drink all at once for effect.)
◈ Price: 30p
You have purchased Clearly Brewed Oolong Tea.
Abnormal status, mental attacks.
That's hypnosis, right?
Wasteful spending points on a monster, but no choice.
I'd done enough folk remedies, and if rumors spread unchecked...
A small glass vial dropped into my hand with the system message.
Called tea, but from the bottle to the color, it screamed whiskey.
“What's that?”
Aisa asked, and I pulled out my prepared answer like I'd been waiting.
“Not sure on the details, but it's the one antidote our family has. Heard we got it from elves long ago.”
I put extra emphasis on “the one.”
“Shall we go in?”
Creak.
I unlocked it and shoved the door open with both hands.
“Kieeeek...”
The goblin greeted me energetically as always.
Should be exhausted, but its stamina was impressive.
“If it's the family's one and only, isn't it too precious to use like this?”
I thought she'd let it slide naturally once inside, but she followed up.
Hold up—wait, isn't this a chance to score points?
I'd sensed lately she didn't fully trust me.
Showing I'd spare nothing for the mission?
Time to impart my first lesson as her mentor.
“Potions only work if you use them. And what's more important than the mission?”
“I see.”
Her face looked thoughtful.
But sadly, I couldn't give her time to mull it over.
“Anyway, gotta feed it this, so pry the goblin's mouth open.”
“Pardon...?”
“Can't spill a drop. You can handle it, right?”
“R-right now? My hand in its mouth?”
Caked drool and general goblin filth around its mouth—no prior baths.
Aisa's face screamed hell no, but what could she do?
The army ran on hierarchy.
One of us has to—can't be me.
That's why the world was such bullshit.
Especially the army.
“Problem?”
I asked with genuine confusion.
The answer was obvious.
Nothing but the grossness.
“N-no, sir.”
She schooled her face and approached the goblin.
“Kii...”
Up close, it freaked out.
Drool production ramped up.
“Eugh.”
Aisa glared in disgust, steeled herself, and reached out.
“Ki...”
Stretch.
Her noble white hand touched green skin, pulling the mouth wide.
“C-company commander! Hurry!”
Wanting this over ASAP, her words clipped short.
“Got it.”
Not a perv enjoying her suffering, I uncapped the oolong vial and approached.
“When I pull the bottle, seal its mouth tight. Got it?”
“Yes—just hurry!”
Her cool facade shattered.
Huh, this might be fun.
A bad thought flickered, but I shoved it down and jammed the bottle in.
Glug glug!
30 points poured into goblin maw.
Not much volume—bottle emptied in seconds.
“Out! Seal!”
“Nngh!”
Squish!
Aisa mashed both hands over its mouth in heroic sacrifice.
“Kieeek!!!”
Goblin thrashed.
Desperate to spit, but no breaking her grip.
Gulp gulp.
Seconds later, I saw the oolong slide down its throat.
“Whew, good job. You're pretty skilled.”
Meant as praise, but her eyes were dangerous.
“I hope it works.”
Like she'd kill me if it didn't.
Her family could pull it off—terrifying.
“Go wash up. Can't have that scent on your precious skin.”
“I'll be quick.”
She bolted—eager for soap.
“Scary. Please work.”
I was mostly sure, but failure loomed.
“Kiee...”
Goblin looked drained.
I dragged a chair over and sat.
“Buddy, snap out of it. That's 30 points down your gullet.”
Did desperate prayers work on monsters too?
Its crazy eyes started normalizing.
“Kirik. Kirik?!”
It looked down, checked itself, and freaked.
Same fit, totally different vibe.
“You're back. Right? Let's confirm.”
Better be sure.
Truth Eye pierces the target.
“Totally cured. You're saved, man.”
I'd accept full prostration for this.
Creak.
Pondering next steps, the door opened—Aisa back.
“Here, look at this guy.”
She checked the goblin per my words.
“Huh...?”
Shock hit her face.
Fun to watch.
“So it was under mental attack?”
“Worked, so yeah. Anything else we can learn?”
Great for intel report, but unsolved core issue.
Key is figuring how they hypnotize—to block it.
Long road ahead.
“Buddy, how'd you get hypnotized?”
Friendly question—fat chance it understood.
“Kiririk! Kiri! Kiririk!”
Screech! Screech!
Benefactor-blind panic escape attempt.
Couldn't be this dumb.
“Deputy, anyone speaks goblin?”
“Heard of monster language research, but no successes in the Empire.”
“Shame.”
Checked shop—no luck.
“This is huge already—no need to regret.”
Her comforting tone—unexpected.
After shoving her hand in its mouth multiple times? She's a saint.
Guilt rising instead.
“Yeah, let's call it here and report. They'll send experts.”
Monster PhDs existed in my memory.
They'd commune if...
Weeeeeng!
Orc Group Sighted in Sector 21!
“Damn.”
Early quit dreams dashed by the alert.
And orcs—not goblins.
Here it comes.
First two raids post-assignment: goblins.
Orcs were new.
Honestly, kinda scary.
Platoon leaders said orcs were real monsters.
No one-sided goblin slaughter—life-or-death fights.
Tension building, then unexpected words from Aisa.
“If we both go and something goes wrong, we can't report this discovery. I'll handle it alone.”
Logically flawless sweet offer.
Should I...?
Human nature tempted me.