Guilt and Gratitude
“Yeah, you did all the dirty work of going to war in my place. Great job. So now, why don’t you just die, little brother.”
Puuk!
Tems Oclo’s dagger plunging into his chest while his body was paralyzed by the numbing poison.
He wanted to thrash about, but he couldn’t even twitch a finger.
“Urgh!”
The moment he strained every muscle in a desperate bid to resist, his body miraculously shot upright.
His field of vision shifted with it.
“A dream… just a dream.”
Anxiety welled up at the damp sheets, but the lack of a foul stench meant it was thankfully just sweat.
“Oh? Medic! The patient’s awake!”
A soldier who’d rushed over at the sound checked his condition and called for the army doctor.
“We were worried something was wrong since you’d been unconscious for two days straight, but you’re awake now. Good.”
“I was out for two whole days…?”
That explained the excruciating ache in his lower back.
“Any dizziness? Trouble breathing?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Given the potency of that poison, there’s a high chance your internal organs took damage. Avoid spicy foods, and refrain from any strenuous activity for the time being…”
The doctor rattled off precautions after a quick check-up, but honestly, none of it really registered.
“How’s the situation…? No, never mind. Can I just rest in bed today?”
“Yes. Absolute rest is key. I’ll check back tomorrow.”
Not long after the doctor left, he drifted off again, as if drugged.
And the next day.
Before lunch even arrived, a visitor entered the ward.
“How’s the luxury of a private room treating you, Lieutenant Palan?”
The guest was none other than Captain Eden Tal, his face etched with exhaustion.
Seemed he’d been busy handling the aftermath.
“At least he’s got a conscience—bringing a gift and all.”
He eyed the beverage in Eden’s hand and reached out casually.
“It’s been a while, sir. You didn’t have to. I’ll gratefully accept it, though.”
“Thirsty, are we? I brought it for myself, but if you’ve got a cup, pour me some.”
“Ha… haha, no, it’s fine.”
Should’ve known better than to deal with this guy.
“Anyway, how’s the body holding up?”
“Fine, sir. The doctor said I need more rest, but I’m mostly recovered.”
“Good to hear. Surviving that lethal poison wasn’t easy, but you had the right antidote on hand. Not standard army issue, though—where’d you get it?”
He’d anticipated this question yesterday and prepared an answer.
“My father gave it to me for emergencies. Said it was valuable, and boy, did it pay off.”
“Perks of the wealthy. Enough chit-chat—mind briefing me on what happened? How’d you end up under attack like that?”
“Understood, sir.”
It might seem heartless, but reports were a big deal.
“Right after the enemy fled, the pursuit began immediately. The branch manager and I stayed with the wagon.”
“Ah, right—that branch manager’s dead. Dagger in the back of his skull. Shame.”
He’d expected it, but hearing it confirmed still sent a surge of anger through him.
“Close to him?”
“First time meeting that day, but he died because of my mistake…”
“Mistake, huh? Figured as much. Go on.”
Unlike his own turmoil, Eden’s voice held zero emotion.
“Thinking back on it is nightmare fuel.”
But he couldn’t skip details, so he recounted events in order.
“The second I saw his face, I knew something was wrong and tried to dodge, but the dagger was already buried in my side.”
The sensation of steel piercing flesh defied words.
“The poison sent me into delirium. I barely managed to jab in the antidote before blacking out. That’s all I remember.”
“Hmm. After that, he killed the civilian and rode off. Probably silenced a witness.”
Eden pieced it together like he’d been there.
“Ramon, was it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thanks to you surviving, we ID’d another spy. Rushing in unguarded was a rookie move, but first time on the job? Happens.”
He’d braced for a reprimand, but out came clumsy reassurance instead.
“No, sir. Unforgivable error on my part.”
“Unforgivable? Who’d dare blame the lieutenant who saved the 3rd Division?”
“Even so, if I’d been more cautious…”
Eden crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed.
“High opinion of yourself. When did the lieutenant who fled east to dodge the front lines grow such caution and resolve?”
The blunt words, unvarnished, sealed his lips.
“And unless you’re volunteering, treat people like numbers. You lost one man this op—but saved thousands.”
Treat people like numbers.
Could words be any colder?
“Think you get it now, so to the point: you’re on leave.”
“Leave, sir?”
He’d half-expected it.
The op had ended successfully on paper, and he wasn’t at full strength.
“Starting from discharge day, about a fortnight? Need more?”
“Where do I report back to?”
“Complicated. TBD for now. More places want you than I thought.”
“Me, sir?”
Why are these bastards so desperate to work me to the bone?
“So, we’ll notify you of the return date. Rendezvous via contact—probably not the capital.”
“Even if it is, a fortnight’d give me maybe five days there.”
Wagon to the capital took ten days from here.
“Hate that? Head straight to your next post…”
“Who said I hate it? I’ll recharge and see you in a fortnight, sir!”
He cut Eden off hastily, clinging to that leave.
“Wartime, so don’t get too sloppy on leave.”
Eden stood, done talking.
“Sir, what about the branch manager’s body?”
“Handed to his family.”
“Did you explain…?”
A dagger in the skull wouldn’t be easy to accept.
“‘Ambushed by bandits en route.’ True enough—he was on business.”
“How much can I tell them?”
“Hmm. Run it by me first.”
“Nothing big. Just that he died protecting me.”
Dying for a noble here was honorable as hell.
“That much… should be fine.”
Eden opened the door to leave.
Then, pausing at the threshold, he turned back as if remembering something.
“Thanks to you, lieutenant, the imperial army recaptured Rimir Castle. So take that leave proud and tall.”
“Pardon? What’s that got to do with me?”
“Too lazy to explain. Look it up.”
With that, Eden left without a backward glance.
Say it or don’t—why’s he so damn consistent?
He didn’t know it then, but the next day’s paper made Eden’s words clear.
The Aditz Empire had secretly massed troops to crush the 3rd Division.
“They planned to drop the Magic Bullets on the 3rd Division, not the Avril defense line.”
But his actions had foiled it, leaving tens of thousands of enemy troops stranded.
“Our side spotted the gap, assaulted Rimir Castle, and retook it.”
Suddenly, fifteen days’ leave felt insultingly short.
“Shouldn’t they just discharge me after this?”
Too bad Eden was long gone.
Knock knock.
“Who is it?”
“From Oclo Trading Company. We have business regarding your husband.”
Creeeak.
At a home in one of Albelm’s upscale residential areas.
After cautiously stating his purpose, the firmly shut door opened.
“From the company? Is there more paperwork? I handed over everything from the study last time.”
Her face was haggard and shadowed.
Guilt, fading until now, roared back like a storm.
“Not for that. Allow me to introduce myself: Palan Oclo, son of Viscount Broad Oclo, head of the company.”
He bowed politely in greeting, and bewilderment and shock crossed the dying woman’s face.
“S-Sienna! Why would someone of your stature come all this way…? Surely he didn’t commit some grave crime.”
“No, ma’am. Crime? If anyone’s guilty, it’s me.”
He’d summoned him for smuggling, fallen for the enemy’s ploy, gotten him killed.
What else but treason?
“What do you—?”
“Your husband died protecting me. Thanks to him, I survived.”
The two weren’t truly linked, but white lies had their place.
“Ah… ahh.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. If I’d been more careful…”
He bowed deeper than before.
“Mom, who’s at the door?”
As Sienna fell silent, trembling, a young woman’s voice came from inside.
“Your daughter?”
“Yes…”
“Before he passed, he asked me to get her into the academy for the upcoming semester. I’ll make it happen immediately.”
Entrance exams were over, but money opened doors.
“Donor admission it is.”
His savior deserved it—Father would throw gold at it happily.
“And the company will cover all costs until she graduates.”
“My husband… worried about us to the very end.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her choked voice had him biting his lip unbidden.
“Since he gave his life shielding young master, we’ll humbly accept your kindness with thanks.”
She wiped away tears with her hand.
“I’m the one who’s grateful—and sorry.”
“He worked for a fine company. For someone so high up to visit personally.”
“No, ma’am.”
Hiding the truth gnawed at him.
Maybe it showed—amid her grief, she offered a faint smile.
“Might be presumptuous, but don’t grieve too hard. He’d want that.”
Comfort from the one suffering most.
Unable to fathom its weight, he just nodded.
“Won’t you stay for a meal?”
“No, ma’am. Wouldn’t impose this late. Heading to the capital besides.”
“Safe travels, then.”
“Thank you.”
He’d braced for a slap—yet the door closed softly.
“Is this right?”
A harsh word or blow might’ve eased his guilt.
Instead, she’d comforted him.
“Gotta pay this debt properly.”
He’d only mentioned the academy to her, but that was just the start.
Company policy paid three years’ salary to families of on-duty deaths.
He’d extend it to ten.
And since his dream was settling in the capital, a house was fair compensation.
“Saved my life—clan’ll cover a reward too.”
As long as she didn’t blow it on gambling, they’d be set.
“My one way to make this right. Hope it eases her mind a bit.”
He looked skyward, asking the departed Kartun—but silence answered.