If You Don't Like It, Then Don't

Showing off acrobatics that belonged in a damn circus and then calling it easy? Easy my ass.

"You little shit, who the hell do you think you're talking casually to?!"

"Aaaagh!"

I was so floored I shouted right back, and that was apparently enough to piss her off completely. Senior A-rang came barreling over, her massive tits bouncing and sloshing with every step, and planted another solid knuckle-rap right on top of the spot she'd already hit.

"Casual speech is only allowed during sex… no, wait, whatever! What was that? Bullshit?"

"Honestly, how am I supposed to pull that off? Senior A-rang, you can treat this place like your own bedroom and still take down Minotaurs with those half-assed techniques. I'm not you!"

"Hmm… now that you mention it, you're not entirely wrong."

She let out a thoughtful hum, realizing she'd just shown an ultra-high-difficulty technique to a complete newbie who'd only just stepped into this Majang-dong Dungeon full of flying butcher knives and hooks.

"Still, try it once. If you pull it off, I'll give you something nice."

"Something nice?"

"Mmm… for example… one kiss?"

"Hmm. I'm horny already."

"Right? Makes you hard, doesn't it? In your current condition, even if those cow-heads hit you, it'll hurt like hell but it won't kill you. So try doing it like I did."

—Mooooo?!

No sooner had she spoken than a Minotaur that had heard our racket appeared. Senior A-rang casually snatched the hook right out of its hands and hurled it far away.

She'd even set the stage for me herself. I couldn't exactly refuse.

I set down the greatsword that would only get in the way, then immediately dropped my pants.

"Hey! Why the hell are you taking your pants off?!"

"Huh? You told me to do it like you, Senior. Just like you shook those tits to charm the cow-head, I'll start by swinging my dick around…"

"Aigoo, I've lost my mind. My tits were bouncing in the first place because of you!"

"Oh, is that so? Still, it doesn't seem completely ineffective."

"Huh?"

—Buooo? Buooooooo!!

If Senior A-rang's was charm, mine was pure provocation.

The moment I shoved my pants down and let my cock dangle right in front of it, the thing that had been casually eyeing its own crotch ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠let out a furious bellow and charged straight at me.

"So I just have to do it like you, right, Senior?!"

"Hey! What part of what I said did you actually hear?! I told you to climb on somehow, not to copy me!"

"Let's see, first I kick off the ground…!!"

—Moo?!

Just like Senior A-rang had done, I slipped right behind the Minotaur.

The three-meter half-man, half-beast looked startled by the sudden intrusion into its space and the way I'd claimed its rear, and it whipped its head around to look at me.

I crowed in triumph and muttered the next step to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠myself.

"Now I kick off again from here, dodge its attack, and land right on top of its head—khek?!"

"Aigoo, aigoo, this is a complete disaster."

Right before I could launch myself, a Minotaur kick came flying into my back.

It was exactly like someone body-checking you the instant you shout "I'm Man Geun-chu!" and strike a full Shaolin kung fu pose.

I went tumbling end over end into the distance. Senior A-rang rushed over and dumped a potion over me while scolding,

"I knew the second you dropped your pants. Didn't I tell you not to screw around?"

"Does this look like screwing around to you?! I did exactly what you taught me and it still didn't work!"

"For the last time, dropping your pants or flashing tits was never part of what I taught you… ugh. Just watch carefully from there and see how I take it down."

Clicking her tongue like I was hopeless, Senior A-rang immediately charged the Minotaur while shaking her tits.

Crack-!!

A clean neck-snapping sound followed, and the cow-head crumpled dead on the spot.

"Alright, try again."

"I'm telling you, only you can do that, Senior!"

"Aigoo, this brat talks too much. You're just making excuses because the reward is too cheap, aren't you?!"

"Huh?"

"You're pretending you can't do it until I promise a bigger reward because a kiss isn't enough for you! And you've ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠decided getting punched by a Minotaur isn't so bad after all!"

"…"

I was so speechless I just stared. Taking my silence as confirmation that she'd nailed it, Senior A-rang huffed and puffed, then cleared her throat loudly.

"Fine. I'll grant you one wish! Happy now?!"

"A wish?"

"Yep! Call me Master, make me spread my pussy, whatever you want—I'll do it!"

"Expiration date?"

"Today only."

"Aww…"

If she was going to offer, she could've thrown in a little extra.

I looked up at her with that exact expression, and she just snorted like negotiation was off the table.

"Don't like it? Then don't do it! You think opportunities like this come around every day?"

"Alright! I'll do it!"

"Honestly, look at how horny you are! Now that you've agreed, wait right here for a second. I'll go find another Minotaur and bring it over."

"You make it sound like you're just running to the market for a Minotaur… aigoo, she's already gone. She's fast."

With a wish ticket on the line, I confirmed Senior A-rang had vanished in a blink and immediately pulled out my phone.

"Hell yeah. This is it."

Time to dump all the points I'd been quietly stockpiling without spending.

"More importantly, how high should I push the stats? I can't go higher than Senior A-rang, so… hmm. Let's start by pushing Stamina and Strength into the 70s."

I'd thought I had a solid pile saved up, but a few clicks and it was already cut in half.

"…Still, while I'm at it, might as well push Agility to around 70 too. And bump Intelligence a bit while I'm spending."

Click-click—

With the mindset that I could always earn more points later, I kept clicking away.

The result left me completely broke, but I was still basking in the satisfaction of those inflated stats when a heavy, thudding set of footsteps and a rich, guttural beast roar came rumbling from somewhere nearby.

I turned toward the noise and what ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠appeared was none other than a bronze-skinned pantheress of a woman, her enormous tits bouncing in every possible direction as she sprinted straight at me.

"Holy shit, those tits are insane."

"Hey! Stop staring at my tits and get ready already!"

"Yes! But what the hell did you do to make it that angry… never mind, I think I get it!"

"Hurry up and kill this thing! At this rate I'm gonna get bred by a Minotaur dick!"

With tits bouncing that violently, of course it was pissed.

I couldn't lose to the Minotaur charging in with pure "I will fuck that female" determination written all over it, so I charged right back with my cock swinging free.

"Hey! Why are you making a bamboo helicopter with your dick?! Wait—you still haven't put your pants back on?!"

"I figured I might jump a little higher this way!"

"The form looks ridiculous… but the aggro's locked on perfectly?!"

Maybe swinging my dick really had pulled the aggro clean.

Until a second ago the Minotaur had been burning with the will to breed Senior A-rang as she fled shaking tits and ass right in front of it. Now its eyes locked onto me—the new rival that had just appeared.

Slap-!!

"Switch!"

"You already know, right? A Minotaur's most vulnerable spots are the crotch and the flanks?!"

"Yes!"

The high-five with Senior A-rang landed at the exact same moment I ducked under the fist flying at my face.

"Oh? What's this? Your movements got a lot faster than before."

"Now I jump up again from here and—uwaagh?!"

Did I raise the stats too high?

I'd meant to leap onto the Minotaur's head and instead launched myself way higher than intended.

I wobbled in midair for a second, then steadied myself as the Minotaur spun around searching for me. Senior A-rang shouted,

"Crush it right there!"

"Yes! Then—Atol! Cherry! Puppy!"

—Eummooooooot?!

Thwaaaack-!!

No more hesitation. Like a martial artist smashing roof tiles, I clenched my fist and drove it down with everything I had into the back of the Minotaur's neck.

"This thing's neck is packed with muscle!"

"It's fine! Hit it harder because of that!"

"Yes!"

Crack-!

Senior A-rang's advice rang out together with the cheerful sound of bone snapping.

—…!

The Minotaur stared at me with wide, shocked eyes, then its eyes rolled back and it toppled straight to the ground. I didn't give a damn about any of that. I immediately sprinted over to Senior A-rang and yelled,

"Senior! Take them off!"