The Night Poachers and the Potato of Repentance

Screeeetch-

From her seat in the car, Mrs. Kwak watched the potato field recede into the distance, her fist clenched tight. Her nails bit into her palm, but that kind of pain meant nothing to her right now.

100 million won.

100 ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠million won, blood-sweat-and-tears money, had just flown away before her very eyes.

All for a single potato!

Her own hand, gripping a dirt-caked potato, looked positively pathetic. In the end, they hadn't even lent her a shovel. Her white skirt, where she'd rested her hand, was now stained dark with soil.

Just how much had she poured out for one measly potato? She could already hear her husband's tirade when she got home, so vivid it was practically ringing in her ears. Not hundreds, not thousands—a hundred million. On a potato. On a potato!

That thieving brat. That good-for-nothing crook!

Her teeth ground together all on their own. So this was what it felt like to watch someone rob you blind with your eyes wide open? Mrs. Kwak stamped her foot in a fit of nerves, and the car jolted.

"Um... ma'am. Shall I pass the word along to the other mothers as well?" her driver asked carefully, keeping his voice low.

"...Are you kidding? You want me to advertise the fact that I just got played for a fool?!"

"I-I'm sorry."

Tssk. Tssk.

No matter how much she stamped her feet, the fury wouldn't dissipate. She wanted nothing more than to teach that insolent, wet-behind-the-ears brat a lesson he'd never forget.

...But the potato mattered more. Only by getting her hands on that thing could she and her son secure a bright future. The shelf life was a problem they could engineer around eventually. The real questions were how to obtain the potatoes—and how to put that boy in his place.

After turning it over in her head for a while, Mrs. Kwak's lips curled into a smile, as if a brilliant idea had just struck her.

"Secretary Kim. Do as I said earlier."

"S-sorry?"

"What you told me before—contact the other moms."

The secretary stole a glance at Mrs. Kwak through the rearview mirror before venturing a question. "Wh-what should I tell them...?"

"Do I really have to spell out every little thing for you?!"

"...I'm sorry."

"Hoo... fine, forget it. Take this down."

The secretary pulled over to the shoulder and began typing notes into her phone.

"Contact only the admins of the mom cafe. The fewer people we split it with, the better."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you have the address of that field we just visited saved?"

"Y-yes, it's in the navigation."

"Send it out. Tell them to meet in front of it at 11 p.m. Everyone brings one lantern with a dim light. Dress casual. Oh—and bring that too."

"That would be..."

"...As many bags as possible."

11 p.m., on a night that had already gone pitch-black.

In front of Field No. 1 in Jakgol-ri, a crowd of about five people began to gather. Every last one of them wore black clothes and black masks, as if they'd fully committed to the mission.

"Did everyone bring what I asked for?"

Nod— nod—

"The objective is simple. Grab and grind. We take as many as we can, and we leave nothing behind."

Everyone strapped on the headlamps they'd brought, and with a click, five round beams of light began bobbing in the dark air.

"Keep the noise down, don't get caught—those are the priorities. We work until midnight. ...Fighting."

"See you all in a bit...!"

With eyes brimming with heroic resolve, they scattered in all directions and began tearing into the soil with abandon.

Rustle, heave!

The first of the five to go for a potato was a woman who gripped the plant's stem and threw her whole body backward. But the potato merely shuddered, showing no sign whatsoever of coming loose.

Why is a stupid potato this heavy...?!

"Ugh...!"

A groan of pure anguish escaped her lips. And behind her, something was approaching.

Sliiip-

A black shadow was closing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in fast. But the woman, oblivious to everything, kept straining with all her might to yank the potato free.

And then—snapp-

With the sound of a stem giving way, three potatoes came tearing out of the earth.

"I-it's out!"

Three potatoes each the size of a human face, if we're being a little generous. No wonder they weighed so much, with things like these hanging off the stem!

Her expression instantly lit up into a beaming grin as she swung her bag around to the front. She was just carefully reaching to place the potatoes inside when—

Whoosh-!

The shadow that had crept right up behind her pounced.

"...H-hwak!"

"GOT THE THIEF!!"

It was the little honey badger, Seo Bong-gu.

Never thought I'd see the payoff for registering Bong-gu as my pet right here. The moment I heard his thought—I caught a frost thief!—I was able to get to the field in a flash.

"Really now. Even if they had it coming, how could you go frost-stealing? You all know perfectly well it's a bad thing to do."

So these are the parents.

I looked down at the five people kneeling in a row in the dark field. Somehow this felt exactly like Lee Dae-kyung's mother a week ago. Were all adults in this world cut from the same cloth?

A faint bitterness rose on the tip of my tongue. But I quickly shook my head and brushed it away.

...No. They're not the same. Just look at Seo Ji-on's mother—my mother. She's in a league of her own. Hugely, enormously different.

The dining table we'd planned to throw out when the new house was finished came to mind. We'd used it faithfully for ten years, then suddenly decided to discard it—because it had cracked not long ago. The culprit, let's just say, was a batch of dried sweet potato sticks made as a hobby.

I turned away from the image of my mother, in my memory, mourning over a dented pot handle. Focus on reality, Ji-on. Right now, I had frost thieves to punish.

Surveying the kneeling group, I found two men among the five. And of course, one of them was that education office whatever-her-name-was ajumma. Apparently she'd infiltrated alongside acquaintances from the mom cafe. When they said "mom cafe," I'd assumed it was all mothers, but it seemed the dads were pretty active members too.

"Well, I'll save my personal curiosity for later."

"......"

"Now then. Why exactly did you decide to commit theft?"

At my words, the ajumma—who had been silent for a long while—latched onto a single word and exploded.

"YOU'RE the thief, you brat! You stole 100 million won from me!!"

"Stole? I earned that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠money fair and square by selling potatoes."

Unbelievable. She was calling me a thief with zero grounds, zero context. So earnest was her outrage that anyone who didn't know the situation would probably take me for the real criminal.

Fueled by the ajumma's tirade, the other four began clamoring as well.

"How dare you show such disrespect to your elders! Who taught you that you could look down on us from on high?!"

"You insolent child! Do you have no parents?! Where's your sense of respect?!"

...Wow. These people were stunningly shameless. It got my blood boiling.

I clutched at my neck. Bong-gu, flush from his heroics today, panicked and patted it gently with his paws.

"Ji-on okay! My pats make it feel better!"

"Hiiik...!"

One ajumma who had been conspicuously quiet began trembling violently the instant she heard Bong-gu's voice. "A-animal... talking...!"

The others flinched and shrank back as well. Their bodies had already been refusing to move since being so abruptly subdued, which was strange enough—but now a talking animal had appeared out of nowhere.

"Y-you! What kind of evil trick is this?! You must have staged it all!!" Mrs. Kwak shrieked, quivering with rage. Her knees, still forced into the dirt of the field, showed no intention of standing.

"Haaah..."

I let out a long, deep sigh. How could people called adults be so blind? They were the ones who had clearly done wrong—yet instead of admitting their fault and error, they dug in their heels and clung to their stubbornness. I was a fool for ever thinking a "deal" was possible with people like this.

"Truly foolish, aren't you."

Just in case, I pulled out 'those things' I'd prepared in advance. In a life as short as a century, I'd learned a few truths—one being that there's no point in wasting words on the obstinate. Therefore, if the person in front of you refuses to listen, you must, by some means or another, make them wise. Whether that means means a beating or something else entirely.

"Now, everyone open wide~"

I said it with a bright, sunny smile.

"Wha—?!"

"Aaah...!!"

They all gaped open like toddlers. How fitting—exactly matching their mental ages.

"Hahahaha!"

I lovingly fed the things to each of them, one by one.

"I skipped the peeling step—it felt like too much trouble. I trust you'll forgive me, honored elders?"

"Mmph-mph!!"

"Ugh-blp!!!"

"Oh dear, I forgot sugar and salt, too. And yet you say the taste is wonderful? How very kind of you. I did grow these crops myself, after all. Haha!"

He's gone dark. Ji-on has gone full villain...!

Bong-gu clutched at my hair, sweating bullets. But nothing like Ratatouille came to pass. When my laughter, which had rung across the field for a long while, finally died down, all that remained was the quiet sound of chewing.

Nom nom-

A few of them closed their eyes to savor the flavor. No spice, no seasoning of any kind, exactly as the boy who'd fed them these potatoes had said—so how on earth could anything taste this heavenly?

At first, all they'd thought was: no, scary, don't want to eat it. But that astonishing taste evaporated every one of those first impressions in an instant.

They knelt there in the field for a long time, eating potato after potato. And then, at some point, tears began to stream down their faces.

In the space of a moment, they had realized that everything they'd been pouring themselves into was, in truth, worth no more to their lives than so much dust—next to their children, next to their family.

"Sob, hic...!"

"What have I—what have I been doing all this time!"

"Ji-young!! Daddy's sorry!!! And I'm sorry to you too! To think it took me this long to realize I was wrong—how could I have been such a fool...!"

All five wept openly and repented their wrongs.

...That was a very, very fast-acting remedy.

I watched their tear-and-snot spectacular for a while, then heaved a deep sigh.

"So. What do you plan to offer as compensation for the frost theft?"

"U-usually, damages of two to five times the value are demanded in most such cases," one of the group still kneeling in the field offered timidly.

"Then let's see how many each of you dug up, and how many potatoes were damaged."

At my words, Bong-gu pointed at the people one by one with his paw. "This woman stole three roots! That man took four, and that one over there, one!!"

"H-he's right on all counts. But, but a honey badger that talks...?"

"He ate the potatoes too."

I said, waving a hand vaguely. "Figure out the multiplier yourselves—let your consciences be your guide. I'll have the money by tomorrow. It's late, so everyone's free to go."

Flustered, Mrs. Kwak cried out, "Wait—then what about these potatoes?"

"You're paying for them, aren't you?"

"W-well, yes, but..."

I looked down at the damaged potatoes they held out to me.

Even if they gave those back, I couldn't resell them. Their effect was weaker than the ones I'd timed and harvested myself—no reason to take them back. I'd be collecting at least double the money anyway, so I had no desire to recover items I'd only have trouble disposing of. Nothing but a hassle.

"Alright, everyone head home quickly. This neighborhood has bears coming down from the rear mountains, you know."

The bear that collapsed our house.

...Even thinking about it again, it's just absurd.

Grabbing Bong-gu by the scruff of his neck, I dangled him swinging and headed home.

"L-let gooo! Put me down!!"

"Quiet, you."

Still, he'd earned his keep today, so I'd spare him the knuckle rap this time.

After Seo Ji-on left the field and their bodies were freed, the five of them clambered in a rush into the borrowed van. They had prepared thoroughly, fully expecting to steal in earnest—and had been caught red-handed on site. Everything had come to nothing, but for people who had just realized something far more important, the failure of a plan meant nothing at all.

"I'll be honest with you all."

In the dark interior of the van, Mrs. Kwak spoke up.

"We received an enormous grace tonight."

Despite being caught red-handed, they'd been allowed to exchange the potatoes for money without any great humiliation. On top of that, he'd even gone so far as to feed them potatoes he'd boiled himself—giving them a chance ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to come to their senses. Was there anyone more deserving of gratitude?

"I don't think simply paying damages is the right way to repay this. Everyone agrees, don't you?"

Every head nodded.

"Good. Then let's do this."

In the small hours of that night, inside the cramped van, a new organization was founded—shedding the old mom cafe's name and raising an entirely new banner.

"Let us devote ourselves fervently from this day forward, Chongmyeonghoe!"