The Man I Found Lying in My Living Room
"I'm home."
I opened the front door and stepped inside. It was still a little unfamiliar, having only just moved into this house.
The moment I entered the living room, something enormous came into view.
...A black bear?
How on earth did it get inside? Bong-gu was with me the whole time, too.
'What is that thing? It's huge!'
Bong-gu poked his head out of my backpack where he'd been hiding. So it wasn't Bong-gu who had summoned another bear this time.
Then what was it?
Once I collected myself, I cautiously crept closer to the thing lying sprawled on the floor.
'Definitely not a bear.'
A bear might smash a house to pieces, but no bear would walk into a home and lie down politely like this. Let's use some common sense and get it together.
As I drew near, the shape resolved into something recognizable.
"Phew, it's a person."
Just a huge man, that was all. He was dressed head to toe in black, which was why I'd mistaken him for a black bear.
'Oho, a person? Bigger than Jion?'
'Yeah, he's seriously huge.'
For a moment, the situation almost made sense to me... almost. Because it absolutely did not make sense! Why was a total stranger lying in our living room?
I was eyeing the man—who looked for all the world like he'd flopped down for a nap—when a voice drifted in from the kitchen.
"There you are, sweetie. When did you get home?"
My mother walked into the living room with a perfectly serene expression, as if nothing about this situation was the least bit odd.
"Mom, what is this?"
"Well, that's just rude. Saying 'what is this' about a person."
She fluttered her hand at me like I'd told the funniest joke, then continued her explanation.
"He was collapsed on the street, so I brought him home, and would you look at that—turns out this is none other than...!"
"Turns out?"
"Turns out it's Chef Go Jin-mook!"
"...I'm sorry, what?"
Chef? A chef? A chef famous enough that my mother knew him by name. And why was someone like that collapsed outside our house?
At my flustered question, my mother chuckled warmly and went on.
"I nearly jumped out of my skin, let me tell you. There he was, lying on the pavement like he'd dropped straight out of the sky. Oh my, look at the time. You haven't eaten yet, have you?"
"N-no..."
Talking at a rapid clip, visibly excited, she disappeared into the kitchen.
"Oh, right—Chef Go Jin-mook there seems to have heatstroke, so I laid him down under the AC."
Which meant, apparently, that my mother had carried Go Jin-mook here herself. From who-knows-where on the street, all the way to this house. How?
Unable to contain my curiosity, I asked.
"How did you carry him here?"
In the next instant—thud—a pot nearly the size of my torso landed on the dining table.
Mom just stared at me with a perfectly composed face, as if nothing had happened.
"Hmm? It got noisy for a second—did you say something, Jion?"
...Mystery solved. The answer was my mother's terrifying strength.
'Mom, so strong...'
Bong-gu curled up small and covered his eyes with his paws.
Candied dried sweet potato had become Mom's hobby lately. She'd been munching on it whenever she had an idle moment—without missing a single day. Whenever she had nothing to do, she'd wedge a bowl of it under one arm and watch YouTube. The results were simply on display before me now.
I knew the sweet potato effects could accumulate, but I hadn't expected this much.
I stared back and forth between my mother's forearms and the colossal man sprawled in our living room, then shut my mouth. Was this what it meant to be a dutiful son?
Taking my seat at the table carefully, I beamed my most innocent smile.
"Wow, that smells amazing! I was just wondering what's for dinner tonight."
"Oh, really? It does smell good, doesn't it?"
Mom burst into laughter at that. Meanwhile, my back broke out in a cold sweat.
I was absolutely not nervous. Whatever dish appeared before me, I was prepared to eat it with relish.
Mom began taking dishes out of the cabinet, murmuring as she went.
"And after all that effort too. Your grandfather's eating at the community hall, your father's gone completely off the grid... What on earth is he doing that he still isn't home?"
Her face was profoundly grave.
Father! Come home now! FATHER!!
Ring—
Barely a heartbeat after I made that silent prayer, I heard the front door open.
"Honey, sorry I'm late. The owner of the field I was going to sign for suddenly stopped answering his phone, so I waited around and just got back now. ...Wait, what's that?"
It was Father. He'd barely stepped into the house when he stopped dead in the entryway and asked.
"Like father, like son, I suppose—asking the exact same question your boy did."
Where had that grave expression from moments ago gone? Mom's face now wore nothing but a dazzlingly bright smile.
Father, knowing nothing, asked again.
"Jion's home?"
"Got back a while ago. Oh, and guess what—on the way back from the market today..."
And so Mom's mouth opened the floodgates.
From the incident at the agricultural co-op during her shopping trip, all the way to picking up Chef Go Jin-mook off the street, her story poured out without pause.
After listening for a good long while, Father pulled Mom into an embrace.
"Oh, honey, that must have been exhausting. Carrying a man that size."
"Dear...!"
I was in no position to worry about anyone else. So this was why Father had managed to survive at Mom's side all these years.
Bong-gu, who had at some point slipped out of my bag and draped himself over my shoulder, also covered his mouth in disgust.
'Even lovebirds fight less than those two.'
'...There were lovebirds on your mountain?'
'No. I saw on Lovebird TV. Grandpa likes documentaries.'
Apparently he'd been sitting beside Grandpa watching his documentary channels lately, and had picked up all sorts of knowledge. ...Bong-gu might actually be a genius. Learning about other animals just from television. Clever little guy.
I stroked Bong-gu's head and set him down on the chair beside mine—the seat with his own personal plate.
"Hmm?"
Except today there was no small Bong-gu-sized plate. Instead, there sat a plate even bigger than the ones for the humans.
'My bowl gone? Am I getting kicked out...?'
Bong-gu started sniffling.
I hurriedly turned to Mom.
"Mom, where's Bong-gu's bowl?"
"Bong-gu? He'll be eating on the floor tonight, I'm afraid."
"I'm sorry, what?"
Mom pointed toward the floor beside the table—where Bong-gu's personal plate had been set down.
"Chef Go Jin-mook needs dinner too, you know. There aren't enough seats, so it's the floor for you tonight, Bong-gu."
"Kyuoo..."
Looking utterly heartbroken, Bong-gu slumped and trudged over to the bowl waiting on the floor beside the table.
"Jion, could you go wake Mr. Go Jin-mook for me?"
"On it."
Doing my best to ignore Bong-gu's big, watery eyes looking up at me, I headed for the living room.
Go Jin-mook lay in exactly the same position as when I'd first walked in. Not so much as a twitch. He wasn't dead... right?
I crouched down beside him and prodded him a few times.
"Excuse me?"
"..."
"Chef Go Jin-mook, sir?"
No response. Maybe we could just leave him here and eat without him, I thought, glancing toward the kitchen.
Thud—
I could see Mom ladling chicken porridge out of that torso-sized pot from here. Even at a distance, the thing looked absolutely brimming with the stuff.
I am a good son. A good son who does his duty and wakes Mr. Go Jin-mook to bring him to the table.
"Chef Go Jin-mook, it's time to get up."
I took hold of him and shook. Not even a flicker of movement.
...I hadn't wanted to resort to this.
I began channeling mana, condensing an appropriate amount into each of my hands. As the old saying goes, as long as you clean up after yourself without leaving a trace, any problem is no problem at all.
Target: the exact center of Go Jin-mook's face.
I quietly cast the spell.
Aqua Orbis.
Splash—
"Gwahk—!"
Go Jin-mook shot upright, his freshly doused face soaked through.
"Wh-what on earth—"
"Oh, you're awake. Mom says dinner's ready."
"Ah, ah, I see. Right."
After a good long moment of flustered confusion, he dazedly climbed to his feet. The floor around him was soaked through.
Now for the cleanup. This time the target was the water I'd just sprayed.
Ventus Siccus.
Drawing on the mana pooled in my other hand, I dried every last drop from the floor. In an instant, it was spotless, as if nothing had ever happened.
Satisfying.
I was just about to get up myself when Go Jin-mook, who'd been heading toward the dining room ahead of me, turned back and asked,
"By any chance... did you just splash water on me?"
So he was finally coming to his senses. A beat late, of course.
"Water? What water?"
I tilted my head with the most innocent expression I could manage.
Go Jin-mook patted his own face, frowning.
"Strange. My face is damp, but—huh?"
"There's nothing here, sir. Maybe you dreamed it?"
"A dream? It was really a dream...?"
I gave his bewildered back a shove.
"Hurry up and come eat. Mom's waiting."
"Ah, yes. Of course."
And so we gathered around the table and began our meal.
Chef Go Jin-mook ate with the hollow look of a man whose soul had left his body. Mom, picking at her food as well, kept sneaking glances at him.
Apparently hoping to break the heavy atmosphere, Father laughed heartily and spoke up.
"Haha, you know, the owner of the field I went to sign for today was also named Go Jin-mook. What a coincidence, huh?"
"...!"
Clatter—
Chopsticks hit the floor. Go Jin-mook's face drained white.
"Wh-what time is it right now, by any chance?"
"Around five in the evening."
Grip—
Go Jin-mook bowed his head and clenched the spoon in his hand. The spoon trembled.
Excuse me, I think the spoon is bending.
"I am so, so sorry. I am that Go Jin-mook."
"Haha, I see. ...Wait, what?"
Father's laughter died in his throat.
"You mean... the Go Jin-mook I was supposed to sign the contract with today?"
"Yes. The Go Jin-mook who was supposed to meet you at eleven this morning."
A silence settled over the table.
Suddenly, Go Jin-mook shot to his feet and dropped to his knees on the floor.
"I sincerely apologize!!!"
"P-please, don't do that!"
Where had the pride of that stubborn would-be head chef flown off to? There lay a chef's knees, humble beyond measure.
We barely managed to finish the meal and clear the table. Perhaps somewhat recovered now, Go Jin-mook sat hunched over, head bowed low.
"You said it was heatstroke. Sure, let's go with that."
"Ugh, I have no face to show any of you."
"It's fine. If you call the realtor now, we can still—"
The moment Father reached for his phone, Go Jin-mook squeezed his eyes shut and shouted.
"The truth is—I don't think I can sell that field!"
"I beg your pardon?"
By this point even Father looked a little irritated.
"Then why was it even on the market?"
"Well, the thing is... it's true that I do need to liquidate it. But crops simply won't grow on that land."
Flustered, Go Jin-mook continued his explanation.
"My grandfather told me never to sell it while he was alive, but I never knew there was a reason behind it. I sold it once before, but after complaints came in, I ended up buying it back myself."
"Hmm."
I understood what he meant. With mana flowing that badly tangled, there was no way new crops could ever take root as living things.
Not that it mattered—I'd already solved that problem yesterday, hadn't I? Which made this a complete jackpot, if you asked me.
Unlike me, Go Jin-mook looked utterly solemn.
'This family has shown me help I never could have expected.'
Collapsing from the heat on the street, then being carried off by a woman of rather slender(?) build. His body—clearly heavy from all the muscle he'd built up to handle cooking tools with precision—had been borne here without a single complaint, and they'd waited patiently for him to wake, even laying out this dinner for him.
Go Jin-mook clenched both fists tight. He could not sell such useless land to these people who had saved him.
Having made up his mind, he cried out:
"If you're buying that field to farm it—don't!"