Shall We Continue? (1)
“Hmm…”
As always, Darian had kicked off his day with a thorough, sweat-soaked sparring session against Gordon. Now he walked the corridor deep in thought.
“I’m not imagining it. She’s avoiding me, right?”
The reason for his brooding was Freya’s behavior — which had changed so markedly of late that there was no mistaking it.
He’d sensed something was off for a while, but the moment the children left the estate, Freya began dodging him outright. She already spent most of her days shut away in her office, so their paths rarely crossed to begin with — yet even at the three daily meals, she failed to appear, offering the excuse that work had kept her too busy for anything more than a quick bite. And on the rare occasions they did run into each other and exchange a few words, she would soon make some awkward excuse and slip away.
…It’s because of that, isn’t it. Has to be.
In truth, Darian already knew why Freya was acting this way.
It was because of that “incident” last time.
The day he had finally, truly felt what it meant for his gender to have changed since arriving in this world.
Ever since that day, Freya had started avoiding him.
“No, but the mood was good… damn it.”
Darian dredged up the memory, trying to figure out where things had gone wrong.
The day he’d slipped out of the estate without a word, gotten tangled up at a fire scene, and left Freya sick with worry.
The day he’d gently brushed the tears from her eyes and vowed to lighten, even a little, the burden she had carried ever since they fell into this other world.
And that moment when they had half-undressed each other, shared a deep, heated kiss, and she had gently stroked his throbbing length…
Srrrk—
“Ah, shit.”
Standing there in the corridor, replaying that troublesome day, he felt his pride and joy make a vigorous appeal of its own. Scowling at the thought of anyone seeing, Darian sidled over and pressed himself against the wall.
Ever since becoming a man, Darian hadn’t had any major complaints. His body was sturdier and stronger than it had been as a woman. No more periods. And the mere thought of having to endure those stifling women’s clothes in this world if he’d stayed female sent a chill down his spine.
But there was one thing — just one thing — that drove him up the wall.
“This damn thing — does it ever take a break?”
The equipment attached to his lower half. More precisely, the sexual desire that surged up at the slightest provocation, completely uninvited.
Before that incident, it had been little more than a curious, faintly ridiculous novelty — the way it would lift its head first thing in the morning, same as anyone else’s. But once he’d started seeing Freya as a woman and gone through what they had, a libido that had previously stayed quiet began roaring to life at full volume.
It wasn’t as though he’d been without desire as a woman — if anything, he’d been the type who enjoyed the bedroom. But being a man was an entirely different species of feeling. The way this thing could spring to attention at any hour of the day, the moment the mood struck, was almost awe-inspiring.
“And on top of that, we didn’t even finish last time… I’m going out of my mind…”
The incident had happened, yes — but they hadn’t gone all the way. Freya had left, and the whole thing had ended in incomplete combustion. That unfinished memory only made it worse.
Since then, whenever he’d considered taking care of it himself, something about it felt like admitting defeat, so he’d held out… but still…
“Anyway. I can’t just leave things like this.”
Having finally calmed himself down, Darian reached a conclusion.
His own desire. The awkward distance with Freya. He couldn’t let either of them go on like this any longer.
He resolved to talk to her, at least.
“Hmm… but how do I even get a chance…”
Freya had been dodging him so thoroughly lately that there was never an opening for conversation. Even as a married couple, they kept separate rooms in this estate, so talking before bed wasn’t an option either. A real bind.
So how was he supposed to fix this?
…In times like these, the direct approach is the only way that works.
Darian closed his eyes for a moment, thought it over, then decided to handle it the way he did best. He set off down the corridor with long, determined strides.
“Haaah…”
“……Grandpa, what’s wrong with the mistress?”
“…Focus on your work. Take a page from Curmon’s book.”
“But she’s been like this more and more lately…! As a butler, shouldn’t you, y’know, do something?”
“For a butler to presume to meddle in his master’s private affairs is a breach of etiquette.”
“Isn’t helping with the master’s problems more meaningful, though?”
“Then why don’t you ask her yourself?”
“……So which part of this document was the problem again?”
At that same moment, the atmosphere in the office had turned razor-thin, thanks to Freya sitting at her desk with a grave expression, heaving sigh after heavy sigh.
Things must be bad if that one keeps coming to this old man every day to complain.
Because of me, my husband has a lot on his mind…
Freya murmured inwardly, unsettled by something that had come up in her meeting with Estel the day before.
Her wife — now her husband — Darian.
Freya loved Darian. Even after coming to this world and having her appearance and gender completely transformed, the essence of who he was hadn’t changed at all. Freya still loved him with the same fierce heat as ever.
But ever since that incident, she simply couldn’t bear being alone with him.
It’s just… too embarrassing…!
The problem was that, as a woman, she had been utterly helpless against Darian as a man.
A woman’s body… is it really that sensitive?
Unlike when she had been a man, Darian’s every touch had sent a searing heat through her as though her whole body were melting. She remembered gasping for breath. Freya had lived as a man for well over forty years. She had been married. She had been the father of two children. Even if Darian had been the head of the household and she the homemaker holding the family together, she had always taken pride in the belief that, when it counted, she would be the one to protect them.
And yet.
That kiss… it felt like my heart was going to burst…
Freya recalled the moment their lips had met that day. The way Darian had stared into her so intently, then leaned in and pulled her into his arms. His slightly dry lips growing wet with her own, his tongue boldly invading and claiming her mouth. The solid, firm muscle and broad back she had felt when he gathered her slight frame completely against him.
In Darian’s arms, sharing that kiss, Freya had felt something she had never experienced before. The feeling of being held and loved in someone’s embrace. Even now, just thinking of it made her heart pound, and a sharp, unexpected ache bloom low in her belly.
“Haaaah…”
At this rate, I’m going to stop being myself entirely.
In that moment, Freya had wished the kiss would never end — that it would go on forever. If Darian hadn’t finished when he did, she never would have come back to her senses.
For now… until I’ve calmed down a little… keeping some distance is for the best.
Extremely wary of those unexpected feelings she had tasted for the first time, Freya resolved to keep her distance from Darian until she could make sense of her own heart. Fortunately the children and Tene weren’t around, so it shouldn’t be too difficult — or so she had assumed.
But she didn’t know.
One of the reasons she had fallen for Darian in the first place was that, for all how easy he usually was to read, when it truly mattered he always did something completely unexpected.
BAM—
“Hah?!”
Clack—
Freya had just picked up her pen to refocus on her work when the office door burst open with a clatter. She startled so hard she dropped the pen.
“…You?”
“M-My lord?!”
“W-What brings you here, my lord?”
Freya’s eyes went round as her gaze snapped to the doorway. The person who had flung the office door open as though he meant to tear it off its hinges was none other than Darian — the very man she had just resolved to keep her distance from.
“All right, everyone. I can see you’re busy, but this is important.”
Darian strode in without a hint of hesitation, cast a quick glance around the office, and spoke.
“There’s going to be a private conversation between husband and wife starting now, so clear out. Quickly.”
“…Excuse me?”
Freya opened her mouth, flustered by the sudden order to dismiss everyone working in the office.
“What on earth do you mean by—”
“Understood, my lord. Please call if you need anything.”
“Y-Yes, my lord! Hey! You too — get out, now!”
“Uhh…? Th-the documents! The paperwork still—”
“That can wait! We’ll be going, then—!”
Thud—
Before Freya could even finish her protest, the two who had been reading the room all along hauled Curmon — still babbling about paperwork — out of the office and were gone.
And just like that, only Freya and Darian remained.
“You. We need to talk.”
“T-Talk…? What do you mean by that?”
“What do you think I mean? You’ve been avoiding me lately.”
“Th-That’s…!? Th-that… perhaps it’s just your imagination…”
“You gonna keep talking nonsense? You know I can’t stand this kind of frustration.”
BAM—
Darian cut straight to the point, strode over, and slammed his palm down on the desk where she sat, staring her down.
“What’s the problem? Huh? What’s so wrong that you keep running away from me?!”
“I… can’t say.”
He craned his neck until his face was right in front of hers, but Freya turned her head aside, refusing to answer.
“…Ha. So that’s how you’re going to play it?”
Even after he’d come all the way here to talk things out openly, Freya still hemmed and stalled. A vein stood out on Darian’s forehead.
“Fine then. Let’s see if you still won’t talk when I do this.”
“Pardon…? Wh-wha…!? W-Wait…!”
Determined to take drastic measures to pry her mouth open, Darian seized Freya by the waist and lifted her clean out of her chair. She flailed in startled confusion as her feet left the ground, but there was no escaping his grip.
And then—
“Still? Still? Still?”
Tickle—tickle—
“Nngh…! Nn… KYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Honey! Wait! Hahahahaha!!! Hic!!! Stop…! Heeheeheeheehee!!!”
Darian pinned both her arms up in a surrender pose with one hand and set to tickling her underarms. Freya’s mouth stretched wide and laughter exploded out of her.
It was an absurdly childish stunt — the kind of thing kids pulled as a joke — and here was a man in his forties doing it without a shred of shame. Darian didn’t care in the slightest. Right now, all he wanted was to get Freya to talk, by any means necessary.
“I’m not stopping until you spill it. Brace yourself.”
“Ahahahahaha!!! A-All right!!! Heeheeheehee!! I’ll talk, heehee!? I’ll talk…!! Hic…!”
“Should’ve done that from the start.”
Freya realized he would genuinely keep tickling her until she spoke — and finally surrendered.
“Y-You’re terrible…! Tickling, at my age…!”
“Hmph. Who was the one being childish first?”
Once the tickling stopped, Freya wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and turned her head away with a sulky, embarrassed pout. Darian just dug a finger in his ear and shot back.
“So. Why were you avoiding me that hard? Did you hate what happened that much?”
“………”
“I mean, sure — a guy who used to be a man, touching another guy’s… thing. I get that it’d feel weird. But you didn’t have to go this far, did you?”
Once Freya had more or less pulled herself together from the tickling, Darian moved on to the main point. He figured she must have recoiled at the idea of her once-male husband touching his male anatomy, and he tried to work through it by bringing that day back up.
“…………That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
But Freya shook her head, shattering his assumption — as if to say that wasn’t the problem at all.
“……”
“Come on, just say it! This is killing me!”
When she clamped her mouth shut again, Darian clutched his head and raised his voice in frustration.
“I… um… that is… th-the truth is…”
“Yeah? The truth is?”
Freya looked at him, shook her head a few times, squeezed her eyes shut as if wrestling with herself — then finally drew a deep breath and opened her mouth.
And then—
“Because it felt too good…”
“? What?”
“I didn’t hate it — I liked it too much!! It felt so good that that was the problem!!!!!!!!!!”
Her face scarlet with shame and embarrassment, Freya practically shrieked the words.
“I lived as a man for over forty years, and then a kiss with you — as a man — felt so good! And when I touched your… that…! I didn’t feel any revulsion at all!!! That’s why!!!”
There it was — Freya’s innermost feelings laid bare. That moment had felt so good. The kiss she, who had been a man, shared with Darian as a man, had felt so overwhelmingly good that even she had been thrown into confusion.
“………”
“I even wondered if maybe I’d always liked men!!! I was so confused!!! So that’s why I—… Honey?”
Darian stared at her blankly, momentarily at a loss for words after her confession.
“This is on you, you know.”
“Pardon…? What do you—”
Chuu—
“?!….!?!!!?”
He tossed out that single line, closed the distance in two strides, and sealed her lips with his own before she could so much as flinch away.
“Mmph—! Hmph—!?”
Squeeze—
Freya thrashed in startled panic at the sudden kiss, but Darian locked his hands firmly on her slender shoulders and held her so she couldn’t escape.
“…Mm—chuu—mmph—”
After a few more futile struggles, Freya finally went limp under the relentless press of his mouth. She closed her eyes and welcomed his tongue into hers.
“Mm—hmph—! Chuu—”
The quiet office filled with the wet sounds of their tongues intertwining and the rough, ragged breathing they drew through their noses.
A kiss out of nowhere… I was so startled… so why does it feel this…
Darian’s kiss crushed against her lips as though he meant to break her, and Freya’s head went so hot it felt like it might cook. Even so, without quite realizing it, she fisted her hands tight in his clothes and kept moving her tongue to meet his.
“…Pwah—!… Haa… haa…!”
“…Ha… haa…”
When the kiss that had seemed as though it might last forever finally ended and they slowly drew apart, a thin, glistening thread still connected their lips.
“Ah…”
“…Disappointed it ended?”
“…Pardon? N-No…! That’s…!?”
As Darian pulled back first, Freya’s eyes fluttered open with a dazed, lingering look, her tongue still half-seeking. He smiled faintly at the sight and asked — and Freya stammered in flustered panic.
But then—
“……Yes.”
She nodded — cheeks burning, shame and embarrassment warring with how good the kiss had felt — and still she nodded, choosing honesty over pride.
“…Honey. You know what?”
“…Yes?”
“Right now, I’m so fucking turned on.”
“What?!”
Looking at Freya’s face, Darian went blank for a second — she was so unbearably adorable he couldn’t stand it.
“You know what? That one time you used your hand on me, and then you ran off right after.”
“Th-That was… I…”
“I was so damn frustrated.”
“…………”
“Today we’re doing what comes next. So don’t run away this time.”
“…W-Wait, here?! Th-That’s not— you can’t…!”
As if he truly couldn’t hold back any longer, Darian set his hands on her shoulders and completely cut off her escape.
“I’m not letting you run off like last time. Not today.”
And so, the hour of reconciliation that would melt away a married couple’s conflict finally arrived.