The Fake Professor's Curriculum Prep
Scythia Academy didn't merely assign each professor a research lab — it granted them a remarkably spacious room as their exclusive domain.
On top of that, the academy poured generous research budgets into their hands, and if a professor produced even modest results, the bonuses that followed could easily double the original sum.
And since Felix held the title of honorary "professor," he had, of course, been assigned a lab of his own.
"This is… my office?"
Having parted ways with Tene and Rosaria, Felix stepped into the research lab allotted to him — and couldn't hide his dismay. His face twisted.
The curtains had been drawn, leaving the interior dim. On the wall-mounted candle holders, the candles had long since burned out, reduced to withered, dried-up lumps of wax.
The moment he crossed the threshold, empty liquor bottles rolling about under a thick coat of dust were there to greet him.
Some still held unfinished dregs, their caps left off so that evaporated alcohol had glued itself to the floor in sticky stains. Trash of every description lay scattered across the room.
"Wow… they really never even cracked a book in here, did they?"
Despite being a magic professor's research lab, not a single relevant volume was in sight. The only textbook present was a copy of Fundamentals of Mana — the kind of major-required text one carried around for appearances only (he already had another copy at home) — sitting in the corner of a cluttered desk, thick with dust and grime. Astonishingly, the inside pages were still pristine, as if the book had never been opened.
Granted, the original Felix had been a fraud professor who couldn't cast a single spell and merely stockpiled magical tools to play at being a mage — but even the current Felix hadn't expected to be this appalled.
"First things first. This place needs a thorough cleaning."
Determined not to let his long-awaited first day at the academy — a visit he'd been looking forward to ever since arriving in this world — fall apart before it even began, Felix pulled a staff from his coat.
He hadn't particularly needed a magic staff until now, but while crafting magical tools for Rosaria, he'd figured he might as well make one for himself.
He could cast without a staff just fine, but using one amplified his mana far more efficiently. And the staff in his hand had been fashioned from a branch of the World Tree, giving it an exceptionally high mana conductivity.
Unlike an ordinary staff, this one — made from World Tree wood — consisted of two fresh, living branches twisted together into a single shaft, with a grip that settled perfectly into the palm and a single World Tree leaf affixed at the tip.
⟨ Cleans ⟩
As Felix gathered his mana and spoke the incantation, a wave of magical force bloomed from the staff, hung briefly in the air, then expanded until it blanketed the entire research lab.
…Clink— clink—
A moment later, the bottles littering the floor began to tremble, then rose gently into the air and drifted together into a single pile.
The accumulated grime and dust gathered as well, swirling like clouds drawn into the eye of a storm, coalescing into a small sphere at the center of the room.
"Whew. That's more like it."
Felix pulled back the curtains, opened the window, and tossed the dust outside. He murmured to himself as the bright sunlight washed over his whole body.
With the cleaning done, a reasonably spacious and spotless room finally met his eyes.
The thought of rearranging this space however he pleased even stirred a flicker of gratitude toward the original Felix — who had left behind nothing but liquor bottles and not a single scrap of clutter worth keeping.
Knock— knock—
"Hm?"
Leaning against the desk, pondering how to furnish the room, Felix turned his head at the sound of knocking from outside.
"Professor Felix, are you in? …Haah, of course you're not. As if that man would actually be here…"
The voice seeking him out, followed immediately by a muttered aside, slipped straight into his ears.
Every word from the woman beyond the door was laced with resignation and irritation.
"Yes? What is it?"
"…Huh? He is here?"
Since someone was looking for him, he answered — and from the other side of the door came a murmur of genuine surprise.
If she assumed I wouldn't even show up on the first day of a new term, just how much of a disaster was the original Felix's track record…?
Every one of these reactions left Felix reeling at just how thoroughly the original had wrecked his own reputation.
Bang—
The lab door swung open, and a woman appeared, her wide-brimmed hat pulled low over her face.
She was quite short — her head only reached about the chest of Felix, who stood nearly six feet tall — and her entire body was swathed in a robe, making it hard to guess anything about her appearance beyond her small stature.
"So you actually showed up today instead of running off… Wait, what? Did you eat something weird this morning? Why is this room so clean?"
"Ha, haha… I just, uh, felt like tidying up today…?"
She surveyed the interior with fresh astonishment and pressed him again. Felix could only offer an awkward laugh and a vague non-answer.
"It'd be nice if you did this kind of thing more often, you know…"
Poof—
"Huh?"
Once fully inside the lab, she shut the door and removed her hat — and Felix flinched involuntarily at what was revealed.
Her hair was a light brown, overall curly and growing out in a slightly frizzy mess. Freckles dotted her nose.
She wore large, round glasses. Compared to Rosaria her features were softer, but her expression was rather sharp, and dark circles hung heavily beneath her eyes.
But what was far more startling than any of that was—
Twitch— twitch—
The long, pure-white rabbit ears rising from the top of her head, twitching and shifting with a life of their own.
A beastkin.
The woman wrapped in the robe was a rabbit beastkin.
"…What?"
"Ah, no. Nothing."
"By the way, you've been using formal speech this whole time. Did you seriously eat something weird?"
"It's nothing major — just, you know… trying for a bit of an image change?"
"With a face like yours, acting like that just makes you look greasy and insufferable."
"…"
Is my face really that bad…? Well, okay, fair enough…
Still reeling from the revelation of her rabbit-beastkin identity, Felix found himself struck speechless by the sudden, cutting barb.
"Anyway. The reason I came today is about this term's curriculum."
"Curriculum…?"
Having delivered her sharp rebuke, the rabbit beastkin approached Felix, who was still standing awkwardly near the desk. She set her hat down on his desk and began explaining why she'd come.
"You weren't going to prepare this term's curriculum properly either, were you? You were just going to coast through it."
"Fundamentals of Mana is an extremely important course for magic-track students — especially first-years. But you can't even use magic, and you have no intention of actually teaching."
She set the hat aside, crossed her arms beneath a chest that had more volume than her small frame suggested, and launched into a rapid-fire stream of prepared remarks.
Most of which, it must be said, were criticisms of Felix.
"Frankly, I've never been able to accept that someone like you became an honorary professor. A human who can't cast even the most basic spells — no, who can't even sense mana — how does that person become a magic professor? Aren't you even a little ashamed that you got this far on a count family's prestige and a knack for greasing palms with gold coins?"
"…"
"You call it a class and then just tell students to memorize the entire textbook. The exam questions you write are utterly pathetic. Do you have any idea how many complaints the students under your charge file during a single term? Of course you don't! You're just drunk on the title of 'professor'!"
"And the fact that you got the position this way is the real problem… I spent nearly half my life walking the path of mana, clawing my way to a professorship through endless effort… and you just stroll in this easily… The academy keeps blathering about fairness on the surface, but the inside has been rotting black for ages… Can you even call this an academy anymore…"
"Um, excuse me? So what is it you're trying to say…?"
She'd been glaring at Felix the whole time, then expanded her critique to the academy as a whole, gradually sinking deeper into her own world — until Felix cut in and interrupted her.
"Ah. Right. Ahem—! Anyway, what I want to say is this."
Snapped back to her senses by his words, she cleared her throat and got to the point.
"Hand this term's curriculum over to me."
"Hand over the curriculum…?"
Collecting herself, she jabbed a finger straight at Felix's face and declared with absolute confidence:
"Fundamentals of Mana is a required major course. You weren't planning to show anything worthwhile at the curriculum introduction session anyway, were you? In that case, I'll take the slot myself."
"And once this curriculum session is a success… I'll formally petition the headmaster to let me take over the Fundamentals of Mana major for good!"
"…So you're saying you want to take my position?"
"Of course! That seat is no place for the likes of you! I'll hold it myself — even if it's a struggle — and eventually pass it on to a proper, outstanding professor. I, LeMilion Ordine, will see to it!"
Rabbit ears twitching, she shouted with defiant pride. LeMilion issued her ultimatum: she was going to strip Felix of his professorship.
"…Whew. I'm sorry, but that won't be possible."
Far from looking threatening, the whole display was so endearing that Felix barely managed to swallow the laugh that nearly burst out of him as he answered.
"Hmph! I knew you'd say that! I never expected someone like you to hand over a hard-won seat so easily! But the shoddy teaching attitude you've shown so far, and the abysmal quality of your classes — those are failures you can't talk your way out of!"
"No matter how good you are at flattery, this time it won't just be me. If I bring the Academy Fairness Committee along… even the headmaster won't be able to take your side."
The Fairness Committee… that came up in the original story, didn't it?
The Fairness Committee.
Established to curb the corruption and abuse of power that arose within an academy dedicated to cultivating outstanding talent for the empire's eternal prosperity, the department existed precisely to resolve any unfairness that occurred within the academy's walls — directly and decisively.
Its authority was such that even the academy headmaster could not freely defy it, and it was treated with a weight nearly equal to an imperial decree. Academy professors lived in constant fear of them.
In the original story, too, the protagonist Ailen had exposed every dirty secret of the Felix who swaggered about on a count family's authority and bribes, brought the Fairness Committee with her, and stripped him of his honorary professorship.
Reading it as a novel, it had been an immensely satisfying scene. But now that he had stepped into that novel and occupied Felix's body, the tension was enough to make him swallow hard.
And yet—
"Hmm… Professor LeMilion?"
"What? Begging now won't do you any good."
"Then if I prove that my curriculum and my classes are of outstanding quality, there shouldn't be a problem, should there?"
Felix answered with a calm smile, unfazed by LeMilion's threats.
"…Ha, hahahaha!!! Oh, my sides!! Hahaha!!!"
"That's the best joke I've heard in ages! You may be useless at everything else, but your sense of humor is genuinely impressive!"
Hearing his answer, LeMilion clutched her stomach and burst out laughing.
"You think you're even remotely capable of that? You, who don't know the first letter of the word 'mana'? How, exactly?"
Felix was nothing more than a fraud professor who couldn't even sense mana.
For someone like that to seriously claim he could teach was pure comedy — nothing but absurd bluster.
"Well… I'll just handle it myself."
"…Hmph! You're always like this. Scrambling to paper over whatever problem is right in front of you, spouting nothing but nonsense."
"Go ahead and try. Whether you do or don't, the fact that you're about to lose your professorship won't change!"
Thud—!
Even as LeMilion roared with laughter, Felix merely shrugged and answered with perfect composure. Looking thoroughly disgusted, she shot him a contemptuous glare, snatched her hat from the desk, and strode out of the research lab, slamming the door behind her.
"…Whew. Perfect."
Left alone in the lab, Felix planted his hands on his hips and muttered to himself.
"Don't know the first letter of 'mana'? Maybe in the past. But things are different now."
Flutter— flutter—
He sat down at the desk at once, opened the notebooks he'd brought from home just in case, dipped his pen nib into the inkwell, and began rapidly filling the blank pages with a flurry of writing.