Chapter 60: The Boss (3)
Chapter 60: The Boss (3)
Even if I tried to come up with a plausible excuse now, nothing would come to mind.
The situation simply didn't allow for excuses. My guilt was undeniable to anyone watching; no matter how I tried to explain it away, the problem remained.
That was the nature of incest. It was something that could not be condoned, no matter the reason.
Unless the rest of humanity had perished and only the two of us remained, there was no room for persuasion. Even then, a rebuilt future humanity would likely click their tongues in shame or rewrite history to erase such a disgraceful chapter.
I didn't know what to say to Noona. In fact, it was becoming increasingly clear that anything I said would only backfire.
So, how was I supposed to act?
Should I bow my head in total submission, relying entirely on her mercy and praying she wouldn't bring the subject up?
With a heavy heart, I sat in the breakroom chair and closed my eyes.
As if tracing back how everything had gone so wrong, my mind drifted to the distant past.
Was it because I failed to notice and nip Yu-ri’s affection in the bud?
Was it because I didn't stop Kang Yu-min when those quests first appeared, even though I didn't know why she liked me?
No, that wasn't it. All that affection was something I had to accept. There was no reason for a man to reject a woman who was courting him.
Wasn't that the proper attitude for a man to have? I tried to rationalize it that way, a pathetic attempt at a mental victory.
But I knew I couldn't say that to Noona’s face. Yes, this was nothing more than a coping mechanism.
Still, was it right to bow my head in fear of the coming ruin?
As a human being...
Shouldn't I stand tall and face the future head-on?
I waited endlessly with those thoughts, but contrary to my expectations, Noona returned quickly.
I should have asked for something that took longer to cook.
"Jin-ah, I'm back."
"Oh, you're here?"
"Mhm. You're hungry, right? Let's eat for now."
Could so much terror be packed into the phrase "for now"? Even as I overanalyzed her words, I took the food she handed me and set it on the table.
"This looks good. This place is really famous."
"Really? I'm looking forward to it."
"Eat up. If it's not enough, I'll give you some of mine."
"Hey, why would I take your food?"
Despite the situation and my fear, Noona was still herself.
"You need to eat well too, Noona."
"Still, tell me if you need more, okay?"
She seemed determined even if I refused, so I just nodded and looked at what I’d ordered.
It was a steak poke bowl. I wasn't very familiar with poke, but I’d had it a few times after being discharged from the military when Yu-ri dragged me along.
It wasn't bad. I opened the packaging and glanced at Noona.
Her poke bowl was full of seafood. I suppose she had to eat well to maintain a body like that.
Noona’s physique was truly impressive. Excluding height, she was the most well-built in the family, and even including height, she was second only to me.
Part of it was that she was quite tall for a woman. I ate my meal, certain that her ample chest, wide hips, and the toned body she’d developed through ballet accounted for a lot of that presence.
"Mmm, this is good."
"Right? they sell Mexican food too, and that's pretty good as well."
"...Mexican food too?"
Wasn't poke Hawaiian? I was skeptical, but Noona didn't seem to care. Well, a shop can sell whatever it wants.
As long as it sells well. I drank the zero cola that came with the meal and shared small talk with Noona as we ate. It was trivial, ordinary conversation that made me forget the cold sweat that had been trickling down my spine just moments ago.
"So, what are you going to do about returning to university?"
"I don't know... I'm still thinking about it."
"Hey, aren't you thinking about it for too long?"
"I guess, but... I don't know. I don't really feel like going back."
"But you know how important a degree is in Korea. It helps no matter what you do, and you should experience everything university has to offer, Jin-ah."
She wasn't wrong, but my motivation to attend university had long since evaporated.
It wasn't a field I liked, nor was it something I wanted to make a living out of.
I had just picked the major because my grades fit. And I didn't feel like taking the CSAT again.
I wasn't particularly fond of studying. It felt like a waste of money, too.
"Maybe I should have gone to the English Literature department."
"English Lit? Did you like English, Jin-ah?"
"I don't hate it. And being good at English is useful anywhere."
"Mhm, that's true."
Noona’s eyes shifted. I knew exactly what she was thinking, so I cut her off before she could make a suggestion.
"Don't worry, I have no intention of taking the CSAT again to change schools. I'm just saying."
Noona looked a bit disappointed. She probably understood, but she still felt it would be better for me to be in school.
Of course, I understood her perspective. Getting a degree was a big deal in Korea.
Moreover, she might be projecting her own regrets since she hadn't finished university herself. Perhaps it was because she had started her business at a young age to support the family.
She respected my wishes, but since she had the money, she clearly wanted me to go.
Even in this situation, Noona was being Noona.
"Well, Yu-ri seems set on going to college, so don't be too disappointed."
"Mhm..."
Noona answered while stealing glances at me.
"Then what are you going to do?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, after this. If you're not going back to school..."
To be honest, I was still conflicted about that.
I didn't want to blame the game, but it had definitely influenced me.
To be precise, it was the relationships that started because of the game.
Because I had to face those relationships seriously, I couldn't even spare a thought for university.
"...I don't know. I think I need to find what I want to do first."
Thinking back, I don't think I ever really had a dream, even as a kid.
I don't know if I had one and forgot it, or if I never had one to begin with.
There was no point in dwelling on it since I didn't have one now.
"I see..."
Noona watched me hesitantly, as if she were worried. I waved my hand to show her I was fine, but even I felt my future was far too opaque.
I hadn't decided on anything, and there was nothing I wanted to do.
And in the midst of all that, I had started an incestuous relationship. I let out a sigh, took a sip of my cola, and set it down.
"So, listen."
"Yeah?"
"Could you explain... what happened with this?"
A sudden sense of dread washed over me. I looked up instinctively, only to see something all too familiar.
It was the same thing Yu-ri had pulled out earlier to silence me and Kang Yu-min. I hadn't known how she found out, but now I did.
"...Ah."
As the word escaped me like a groan, a vivid sense of betrayal flickered beneath Noona’s worried expression.
She held a condom between her thumb and forefinger, swaying it back and forth as if to flaunt its contents.
Cold sweat poured down my back. My mouth hung open, opening and closing repeatedly, forcing me to breathe through my mouth instead of my nose.
"Jin-ah, I'm not mad."
Her words, spoken with a smile, were chilling. Only then did I begin to understand what had happened that night.
'It's thin.'
Noona had wanted to confirm it. She wanted to be absolutely sure that it was a condom I had used.
So she wouldn't take her anger out on her brother unfairly.
And furthermore, she wanted to see what kind of excuse I would make and how I would act. Realizing all of this, I let out a heavy breath.
Noona had given me several chances. She wanted to confirm if I had used the condom, and if so, why.
Even though all the evidence pointed toward incest, she might have been hoping for even a clumsy excuse—like me trying to masturbate with a condom.
That was why I was sweating and feeling this sense of crisis. Now that I realized it, there was no room for excuses. At least not now.
"You can tell me the truth. I won't be mad."
Faced with a declaration that clearly meant she was mad, I hesitated and agonized.
Until I realized I had no other choice.
"Noona, the thing is, actually..."
"Yes, I'm listening—"
Suddenly, the sound of the office door opening echoed through the room.
Both Noona and I froze, our eyes widening as we heard the rhythmic clicking of heels approaching.
Noona hurriedly shoved the condom back into her handbag. As we sat there, paralyzed with panic...
Someone knocked on the door.
"Boss?"
It was a woman's voice I didn't recognize. But Noona clearly did; a look of sheer dismay crossed her usually composed face.
"Yes, Assistant Manager Kim. What is it?"
"Oh? Ah, I left something at the office. I came back to get it. I figured I might as well finish up the work I was doing while I'm here."
Her tone was professional yet familiar. I glanced back and forth between Noona and the door, and Noona bit her lip slightly.
"What about you, Boss?"
"...I was just opening and organizing some packages that arrived on Friday."
"Oh, you should have made Employee Choi do that."
"Hey, it's not right to give someone work when they're heading home, is it? So I thought I'd just do it myself."
Noona lied effortlessly. The faceless Assistant Manager Kim on the other side of the door seemed to accept it, letting out an "Ah" and laughing.
"Honestly, Boss... you really are diligent."
With a "Well, get back to work then," Assistant Manager Kim’s footsteps receded, but I could tell she was staying within the office.
Naturally, my eyes met Noona’s. I thought she would have given up by now.
But there was no sign of that on Noona’s face.
Instead, she was looking at me with eyes full of vivid desire.
...Wait, seriously?
My face contorted in sheer bewilderment.